Jegulus Cooking Hcs

rip rosekiller. you would've loved saying "okay boomer" to every authority figure

black family hcs

Sirius looks more like his mother than his father, and Regulus is just the opposite (yes, Orion and Walburga shared a shit ton of relatives, but I think they looked quite different)

all the siblings rushed to Andromeda's room whenever they were scared. Be it baby Sirius when the thunder was so loud he couldn't stop trembling, or Narcissa when she was awaiting her OWL results, or Regulus when he felt like he had lost Sirius forever.

Bellatrix was the one who got crucio'd the most. Yes, she was obedient to Voldemort, yes, she supported the dark arts, but her obedience came with a price that was her sanity.

the marauders weren't as sneaky as they thought they were during their first year. It was Narcissa who fine tuned their pranks (she did not like that Sirius was hanging out with blood-traitors, but she was a prankster too) and ensured that they did not get caught.

Regulus sleeps on his arms. He tries to sleep on his back, but for some reason, it never works out.

the reason for the above is that when Sirius and Regulus shared a room (as toddlers), Sirius would always pull Regulus closer to him when the latter was asleep. Many times, they would face each other, Regulus' arms squished between his and Sirius' body and Sirius' arms around his. Regulus does not know this.

Sirius makes time to stargaze at least once a week. When it first started, it was a means of spotting the constellations/stars of all the members in his family, and soon, it became a means of escape the Black brothers used very often.

Sirius also recites names of stars and constellations to keep himself from losing his mind whenever he is crucio'd. This was also what kept him alive in Azkaban apart from redemption.

Narcissa always dutch braids her hair. It annoyed her parents, because they are of French ethnicity, but it was one of the many styles that made her sharp features stand out.

after running away with Ted, Andromeda couldn't sleep for weeks because she fully expected that one of her family members would somehow find her and kill her, or worse, drag her back.

a similar thing took place right after Dora was born for obvious reasons.

Bellatrix loved to play the electric guitar. Her parents didn't know about the guitar she had hid under the floorboards of her room and certainly did not know about the complex magic she had used to start the guitar without the use of electricity (even better, she developed it when she was underage)

Orion's hair and beard were always groomed. Everyone assumed it was magic, but Regulus was the only one who knew that it was due to Sleakzey's, Fleamont Potter's creation. He had been threatened with having to see Sirius getting tortured for three full hours, which was the only reason he carried this secret to the grave.

on a similar note, SIrius also saw Walburga using Sleakzey's to tame her hair. Walburga, however, did not know he knew.

the Blacks always dined together. Even if someone was sent to their room or grounded, they made it a point to ensure everyone important was there to eat their meals. These meals were also frequented by the portraits, and a full extended family conversation would nearly always take place.

the Blacks also had abysmal immunity (incest and good immunity do not go hand in hand in this case). However, Kreacher was great at healing charms, so it was very tough to tell when someone was actually sick.

every single Black sibling was not straight, apart from Andromeda, who would throw her fists at anyone who showed even a smidge of homophobia.

Walburga had developed a counter-charm for the permanent fixing charm, and when Sirius found out, he stayed up for five whole days to successfully find a way to make something impervious to Walburga's counter charm.

However, he had forgotten about it during his time in Azkaban, and didn't have the energy to recover it after that.

Andromeda's favourite colour was green. Not the green that characterised slytherin (she thought it was elegant, but it wasn't her taste), but the light green that symbolises new life.

Bellatrix tried to run away once. It did not work.

Regulus, though he loves rings, hates that they sometimes get stained by ink. Therefore, he started wearing them as necklaces, and it isn't rare to see him loosening them during the day.

he did not risk it at home though, especially after he was declared the heir.

"do the girls back home touch you like I do?" but it's wolfstar in some dirty broom closet with remus whispering in sirius' ear and making a mess of him after finding out he once again had a date with a girl

YES PLEASE DO THIS

Abolish Tesla.

fleamont the type of dad that when james is sweating and shaking trying to say he likes boys his response is “oh i had several gay relationships at hogwarts”

Musk uses his kid as a human shield. He would risk his son's health without a thought.

Absolute shitheads on tumblr - “oh it’s so scary to go into desiblr these days because oh the patriotic Indians are scary with their patriotism! Oh they are celebrating the bombing of mosques and children! Oh how terrible!” yeah right??? How terrible that Pakistan is a terrorist state that has been using mosques to hide world recognised terrorists and how filthy and disgusting is it that the Pakistani defence minister said in their parliament that the kids in the madrasa (mosques/Islamic schools) are their first line of defence!

These bigots didn’t crawl out of their shitholes and never once condemned Pakistan based terrorism or the Pakistan sponsored terrorist attack on Pahalgam where tourists were segregated by their religion, checked for circumcision and shot dead if they were Hindus!

But they do crawl out and play the victims when India carried out precision strikes with proof on these terrorist hubs and training centres of Islamic jihad in Pakistan that have been sending terrorists over the border to kill civilians in India.

Fuck all terror sympathisers and fuck all these shitty tumblr blogs. You won’t understand until you lose a loved one to these terror attacks.

the worst part? People and AI checkers cannot tell the difference between humans and AI anymore, so much so that completely human written essays are sometimes detected as AI. AI should adjust for us, not the other way round.

give me Regulus Black who runs the family business, iron face, not one of his workers has ever seen his expression change, the few who worked with his parents theorize it's the trauma from having people like that raise you (they're correct) those who didn't think he must be a vampire, and then, one day, in the middle of the board meeting, his phone rings, and not only does he pick it up, he SMILES

'Hey Jamie...I'm in a board meeting, could I call you back?...Yes... Sunday works, tell Amma I'll make a dessert... I'll call you back mon soleil...Alright, see you then, love you too'

and he hangs up, smiles at his phone, turns back to the room and suddenly his face could be carved from stone again

'Mulciber, what were you saying about this month's return rates?'

There is new company folklore about the boss's mysterious sun

A man raped a woman on a busy street in India recently and the bystanders (all men) recorded and posted the videos on the internet, instead of saving her.

Another recent news from India, A 6 year old girl was saved from a rape attempt by a troop of monkeys who attacked and chased away the rapist.

We live in a world where even animals who have no socialisation about basic morals are safer than men who create those morals and laws.

Men talk about being protectors to protect us from dangerous animals when in reality it’s the animals protecting us from these parasites.

The irony!

No wonder women chose the bears 🐻