The Music Of The Tenor Sax Next To Me Pt 2

A Short History of Marching Band Cults.

Why are we like this? Good question! Let's start in the beginning.

By the beginning, I mean middle school, by the way. Middle school - when you start embracing the fact that band is your life now and you cant escape it! All your friends have either left you or joined band because you dont have a life!

Then, high school rolls around. Most of middle school band wants their friends back at this point, so they abandon band and do, idk, cheerleading or smth for popularity!

Then there are the diehard band nerds. These people stay in band through high school. They, near the conclusion of band camp, are admitted into the Marching Band Cult.

A cult is extreme for this, you say? Ah, that's where you're wrong! We regularly worship our Marching Band Gods and pray that we dont face plant. We hold a sacrafice of one trumpet or flute player a year, as their sections are too crowded anyway. We bleed for band, especially when our instruments are wanted for attempted murder, but we love our children. Most of our instruments are named really weirdly. We have led the new ones into this trap.

The ones who esca- leave think that they made a mistake joining in the first place, but how wrong they are. As you join us, the attention whistle sounds, a circle forms in the background, you are home.

Yo we're doing it this year too. Our band slows down within three measures and it does not sound anything like the song. I mean, it sounds nice, but it's not really Dynamite you know???

There are some songs that are not meant to be played by a marching band

Dynamite by Taio Cruz is most definitely one of them

please support this interracial french gay couple and their 20 kids

Please I need it

Attention!

Everyone that reblogs this is gonna get inspiration to practice in their asks!!!

Whoops cant choose between the subcontrabass or double contrabass trumpets :)

what is the most cursed instrument??

The music of the tenor sax next to me pt 1

And yes this will be used during our show

Happy pride, y'all!! I love all of you regardless of your gender and sexuality, you're all extremely important remember that! ♡♡♡♡♡

So yesterday at our game, I literally face planted on the stands and my knees hurt real bad :) The BD yelled that we had 30 secs to get to our seats, so I started skipping steps and I fell and hit my chin, so that's fun!

But really, share your Fall™ stories I am curious about the clumsiness of band kids

Our trumpet section isnt nearly that close, but damn, I wish it was. But either way. Fight me, I dare you.

Who You Should Fight: Marching Band Edition

piccolo

who wins: them

don’t do it.  don’t fight the piccolo player.  just don’t.

flute

who wins: them

they were told you were challenging them for first chair. run while you still can.

clarinet

who wins: them

threaten you with their register key.  forfeit for the sake of all.

saxophone

who wins: them

you are promptly deemed a “nerd” and stuffed in a band locker by the entire section even though you only wanted to fight one of them.

low reeds

who wins: no one

 you yell increasingly bad sexual innuendos at each other across the band room for twenty minutes until you both get tired and go home.

mellophone

who wins: them

punches you in the face repeatedly on the offbeats of a sousa march playing in the background.

trumpet

who wins: you and then them

you win the fight easily while they’re giving their villainous monologue.  entire trumpet section later jumps you in a dark hallway for disgracing one of their own.

trombone

who wins: no one

they get distracted halfway through the fight and wander off.

low brass

who wins: them

you mock them by making farting noises with your lips.  they punch you in the stomach with their abnormally strong arms.  you can’t breath properly for days.

pit percussion

who wins: you

pretend like you can’t tell the vibes, marimba, and xylophone apart.  wait until they’re blind with rage, then run them over with the closest wheeled pit equipment.

drumline

who wins: them

show up to the fight with a shank fashioned out of a broken drum stick.  proceed to kick ass.

drum major

who wins: them

calls you to attention (you can’t disobey!) and then waits until you faint from exhaustion.

color guard

who wins: them

have you ever watched one of these fuckers on the field?  you’re screwed.

band director

who wins: them

just when you think you’ve won, they get up smiling and say “one more time!”

Solo and ensemble but you have to wake up at 5 in the morning on a Saturday to drive half an hour away because your solo is at 8 in the morning, but then your trio is at 11:40 and you have to sit there for three and a half hours waiting.

You get two superior ratings, but you are so tired.