Sedation Vending Machine (holiday Edition)

people will clown on me for this because he killed two people but I just love how sweet Rodya is. He is so cruel and mean and uncouth a lot or even most of the time, but then he does things like constantly thoughtlessly give the last of his money away to anyone who needs it more than him, cries when he’s in his psychotic episode and can’t remember who Razumikhin is, has that very sweet and tender moment with Polenka, begs the police to get a doctor for Marmeladov and says he’ll pay for it despite having nothing at all himself. At the same time he is capable of terrible things and is often terrible specifically to the people who love him and want to help, and oscillates wildly between the two. It’s that juxtaposition that holds so much of the interest of the narrative itself for me. A lot of people focus on how awful he is and while that is also honestly such a fun part of his character, that alone is not what makes him compelling to me. I have so much tenderness for his character despite what he’s done because he is just so mentally ill and has been through and been witness to so much hardship. He is not easy to love or understand but it’s so beautiful and sweet that Razumikhin, Sonya, his family and his other friends love him so dearly anyway. I truly think the suffering he is constantly surrounded by is the thing that has driven him to psychosis. Specifically I think of when he goes to the police station in part two and says he has been “shattered by poverty.” In these little moments of sweetness and lucidity towards others, even in the depths of his illness, we can still see the little boy in him who so desperately wanted to help that poor horse.

we lost the culture war so bad after 1865... we should live in an america where every single citizen looks back with patriotic fervor at how bad the union kicked the confederacy's ass. that should be universally regarded as a triumph of the capital U capital S capital A U-S-A. everyone regardless of geography should feel themselves living in the legacy of the union. the fact that confederate generals went down in anyone's history as anything but a bunch of delusional war-losing loser traitor weenies who dragged their states into a bloodbath and couldn't even keep their own men from deserting in droves is perhaps our greatest historiographical sin and one i truly with all my heart believe we are paying for as americans to this day.

no one will know which one it is.

Can you imagine if Rodion Raskolnikov from Crime and Punishment was alive today and asked about his hobbies?

Dude would literally say:

* sleeping on the couch

* fainting

* becoming manic

* definitely not committing murder

i know it's hard. but i so firmly believe the strongest antidote to loneliness is reaching out first. and continuing to reach out. again and again and again. excise any scrap of shame you hold about being the person who texts first or pitches the plan or asks to get lunch. everyone is tired and busy and struggling. and afraid of feeling unwanted and unimportant. don't let the people you love feel that way. reach out first. don't be a ghost in your own life.

why isnt the olympics called oui sports

my friend sent me a really good pop team epic strip over 2007 rodyas big coat

quick reminder that my own gay ass genuinely supports the hell outta each and every one of you. regardless if i know you or not, im happy to be living in this shithole of a life in the same world with you.

and im proud of you, i know in my heart just how beautiful, amazing, talented, smart, and worthy you are and i hope you can see that too🏳️‍🌈🌈

YOU liked 1984 because of the dystopian atmosphere and the cultural impact and the discussion on how language shapes thought. EYE liked 1984 because I was fujoshing out to winston/obrien torture gaslighting yaoi. we are not the same

I fucking love scrawny pathetic men