Me When I Find Out My Coworker Is Fucking My Brother In Law Who Is Also My Coworker. And They’re Both

“i wouldn’t want to piss off her ex: the lord” bobby if firefighting stops working for you you have a great career in comedy

KinnPorsche Gif Series | Favourite Ghost Ships [2/?] | ArmTankhun

Wally: Is

Wally: Is that my sweatshirt??

Kon: oh. haha yeah, i guess it is. do you want it back?

Wally: i mean its fine, i have a million but,,,, why do you have my sweatshirt?

Kon: well you see, Tim is probably the biggest Clothes Thief on the planet, and he steals my clothes all the time but i he’s tiny and none of his clothes fit me so when i steal something back its almost always an article of clothing that he stole from someone else which is the only reason he owns something large enough for me to wear. i stole this hoodie from Tim, who stole it from Dick, who I’m assuming stole it from you.

Wally: and you don’t find that strange?

Kon: no. Bro, you’re my boyfriend-in-law.

Wally:

Kon:

Roy: *walks in wearing a shirt that obviously belongs to Kon*

Wally: Roy, that is Literally Kon’s shirt

Roy: no biggie, we’re boyfriends-in-law so its cool

Wally:

Kon:

Roy:

Wally: WH-

eddie: everything that matters is in texas

buck, putting the dog under his shirt: im pregnant and it's yours

Aziraphale’s phone rings.  He answers, expecting it to be Crowley.  But to his surprise, it’s a demon he’s never met.

“I’m Crowley’s replacement,” the demon says.  “He’s not done anything impressive lately, and Downstairs doesn’t like how ineffective he is at keeping you in line.  So now he’s shuffling paperwork and scooping up hellhound shit while I do his job for him.”

“Ah… I see,”  Aziraphale says icily.  “Well, I most assuredly do not look forward to working with you.”

The demon laughs.  “Feeling’s mutual.”

Twenty-four hours later, the demon is very surprised to find himself discorporated in his sleep.  He can’t explain what happened, he has absolutely no idea.

“Don’t let it happen again,” Beelzebub says, annoyed, and sends the demon back up.

After a mere three days, the demon ends up discorporated again.

A new replacement is sent up.  This one lasts for a week and a day.

A third replacement is sent up.  This one lasts for exactly four hours.

Three demons are sent up next time.  Two manage to stay alive for at least five months.  In that time, they botch four very important temptations, and the citizens of London inexplicably find their daily lives much improved in thousands of little ways.  Traffic and pollution are nonexistent, injury and illness are miraculously avoided.  Church attendance is up five hundred percent, and every politician and CEO is struck by the urge to donate as much money as possible to charity.  There’s a general feeling of contentedness and goodwill in the air that wasn’t there before.  It feels downright heavenly.

Suddenly, Beelzebub is having a very hard time finding anyone to take Crowley’s post.  Bribes and threats make no difference.  The rumors have spread and only grown more disturbing in the telling.  Not one demon is willing to go up there and face the cold, calculated, merciless wrath of the angel known as Aziraphale.

Crowley absolutely loses it when someone gets around to telling him.  “Y’know, I could’ve warned you,” he says gleefully.  “Been working with him for thousands of years.  I know exactly how much of a bastard he can be.”

After running the numbers and seeing how many souls they’ve lost to Heaven in the past year, Beelzebub gives up and concludes that trying to replace Crowley is a massive waste of resources Hell can’t afford.

After one year, Aziraphale receives another phone call.  He answers, with bated breath, and nearly shouts for joy when he hears a familiar voice.

“Hi, angel.  Lunch on me?”

Character study of the people’s princess, Eddie Diaz. Pick your favourite.

buck: it took me a minute to warm up to eddie too when he got here

ravi: how long

buck:....almost a whole shift

STRAIGHT UP FIC DIALOGUE????????

#something something to be seen to be found

it’s either that or nothing