The Greatest Skill A Woman Can Learn For Herself Is Self Reliance

be kind

A Really Fucking Vulgar Guide to Not Losing Your Shit in College (Condensed Version)

Bitches love to put things into lists. Moreover, bitches love numbered shit. Here’s some numbered shit in list format to help you not suck in higher education. You’re welcome.

1. Go to class. Like 210% serious. I don’t give a shit if you’re a get by on nothing, A+ slacker. You’re fucking paying for this crap so you might as well get the services owed to you. Take your ass to class even if you zone out 99% of the time. You know 1% more than you did when you walked up in there. Congrats, asshole.

2. All that free time you have during your first week of classes? Make it your bitch. Don’t just print the goddamn syllabus and be like all done. No motherfucker. Take a good fucking look at that assignment list. What’s due next week? Yeah, do that shit now bc I know you don’t have anything else to do. Then when you’re coughing up a lung six weeks into the semester and don’t feel like getting your ass up to do that calculus homework, you’ll remember this week. You’ll remember that you’ve been a week ahead this whole damn semester. Pat yourself on the back, ass wipe.

3. Prepare yo self. No seriously. You got notes to print for class? Sure you could be like all those other bitches and just shove them into your backpack, or you could actually /prepare/ for class. I’m talking looking that shit over, identifying key concepts, getting a decent grasp of the material before your ass is even in class. You a STEM major? Yeah, make this kinda shit your life because now class is like one bomb ass group review session. Again, you’re welcome.

4. Snack like a motherfucker, but save that junk food shit for the weekends. From now on, you are a fucking health guru during the week or if you’re a slacker like me, at least on the days you have class. Fruits? Hell yeah. Pack some of those. Mind wandering in class? Snack on some apple slices. Can’t stay awake? Keep eating some almonds or some shit, but don’t be that bitch with the potato chips. Just don’t.

5. Read. Yeah, you heard me. Read and I’m not just talking assigned reading. I bet my left butt cheek that your campus library has /something/ of interest to you. Commuting and don’t want to drive out there? Library databases bro. We’re in the digital age, motherfucker. I’d bet my other butt cheek that the shit you want is in a nice little PDF somewhere. But na man, you thinking maybe you want to go into computer science? Check out computer science books and eat them up bro. You don’t like reading them? Probably not the field for you. You a biology major in your second year? Yeah dumbass. Time to break out the bio books and not the ones your professor is shoving in your face. Amaze your friends and teachers with your out of class knowledge. Be a fucking star.

Tips For The New Semester

I. Time Management

Use your planner to map out your weeks

Remember to study smarter not harder

Check your emails before each class

If class is cancelled then use the time to study/review for that class

Take a 5 min break after each assignment to avoid distractions

Break up projects into smaller parts to avoid doing it all at the last minute

If you feel burned out or unmotivated then do one assignment or use the 5 min rule

II. Studying and Learning

Be present in the moment

Actually make the effort and go to class (biggest goal for me)

Turn off your phone while studying

Write notes on the reading before class and add to notes during class

Study in a place with no distractions

Do your own homework

don’t copy other’s homework answers esp. if you don’t understand the topic

Make practice tests for yourself

Always do the extra credit

Go to the tutoring center if you need help

Talk to your classmates and make study groups

Go to your professor’s office hours for help

III. Treat Yourself

Sleep at least 6 hours every day (2nd most important goal to me)

Don’t cram for tests in one night (causes too much stress)

Find someone you can talk to about stress

Find what motivates you

Go hang out with friends or family at least once a week

Take some time to stretch, take a walk, workout, or meditate everyday

Read something for fun everyday

bad study/school habits to drop

like seriously, drop them asap. 

they’re toxic and prevent you from being productive and doing your best. change won’t come right away, but do your best to stop these bad habits.

comparing yourself to others. in anything, we tend to compare ourselves to others even though we know how unhealthy it is. stop comparing yourself to your friends and classmates because everyone works in different ways at different paces.

complaining. i get it. nobody wants to write multiple essays or do fifty math problems. it’s either you do it or you don’t. if you don’t do it, there’s nothing to complain about. if you do the assignment, why complain if you know you’ll finish it anyway ? complaining is counterproductive and honestly quite annoying.

being negative. “i’m gonna fail this test.” “i can’t do it.” everyone says these things to themselves, including me. sometimes i’ll say “i don’t understand anything” even though i’ve barely tried. speak your success into existence and put in the work. believe in yourself or at least accept the situation if you didn’t prepare enough so you can do your best.

cramming. if you know you have a test on friday, start studying a few days before. rather than spending a whole 3 hours studying the night prior, study in smaller increments several days beforehand. take your time to understand the concepts. cramming stresses the body by trying to force memorization which usually doesn’t end up well.

going out when you have homework. i get it. you want to hang out with your friends, but you really should get your work done. make an effort to finish most/all of your work before you go out. personally, the fact that i have work to do lingers in the back of my mind which lowkey stresses me when i’m trying to have fun. who wants that ?

procrastinating. you all know why you shouldn’t do it so there’s really nothing to say. it’s one of the worst habits to have, and i hope we can all work towards getting rid of it.

p.s. thank you to everyone who disagreed with my advice but gave me feedback in a polite way. i’ll keep editing slightly because i usually write these at the end of a long day so sometimes my intended meaning doesn’t get across to some people.

Good luck! (ᵔᴥᵔ)

U kno what???? Honestly?? All jokes side about the Duolingo owl, Duolingo is one of the only language education services I know of that doesn’t charge for the full course and I really think we don’t appreciate that enough in a world where knowledge is severely (and increasing) restricted based on income. I just went through the app store and downloaded every language app I can find, and the only two that didn’t charge hefty subscription fees to access all the lessons were duolingo and memrise. Support free education.

The person I reblogged this from deserves to be happy

I tried to scroll past this. I really did

There are three rules.

1. If you do not go after what you want, you will never have it. 

2. If you do not ask, the answer will always be no. 

3. If you do not step forward, you will remain in the same place. 

That feeling of driving down an empty highway, screaming the lyrics Bohemian Rhapsody at 11:48 pm is something I want to be able to experience, always.