You Know Who's Awesome? Ronda Rousey. There's No Point In Beginning To Describe Her Level Of Awesomeness

Why can't my sleep problems lead to this?

Why can't I remember? Names, faces, people, events. They're gone. There's a feeling left. Like a hole where an uprooted tree stood. Pieces of pictures are all that's left. No emotion attached to them. Did they really happen? Were they all just dreams? Is this all just a nightmare I can't wake from?

But you will never be important to people you're nice to.

My favorite episode of SpongeBob was on today at my medical building. I didn't get to watch it because I had to be an adult for all the Boots in the room who were intently staring directly ahead despite no orders to do so. But, one day they will realize it's okay to be more than a statue in public settings.

Spy gun. Check. Holster. Check. All I need now is a nice suit.

How does one get a membership to this gym?

Knight at the Gym. The dude in the jousting armor cracks me up every time. LOLOL

Don't be a racist

I'm rewriting If You're Happy and You Know It

The new version goes: If you're old and you know it, groan loudly whenever you move. (Repeat) If you're old and you know it, then your joints are frozen and creaky, and you should probably get a walker. (Repeat chorus thing) I'm not a musician, but I think it could compete with the best of them. I'm tapping into the forgotten old people demographic.