"Talia Manipulated Jason!" Talia Canonically Wanted Jason To Go Anywhere But Gotham, Told Him He And

been feeling nauseous and tired so.spending the day noodling through some backstory stuff

and bonus

Batfam Lantern AU:

Some of my hcs for Lantern!batfam and how they came to be.

Jason: Fuck, I hate you guys so much... All high and mighty, pretending like you give a shit when you keep enforcing a system that's not fucking working...

Tim: hey what's that in the sky?

Dick: God you're such a fucking asshole, if you hate us so much why are you even here?

Jason: Well because some poor fucker has to make sure-

Duke: Jason, watch out!

Jason: *gets knocked out by the sheer extreme speed at which the violet ring flung itself at him.*

****

Tim: Hey Dick, how are you? We heard about that argument you had with Bruce, and reopening old wounds and everything...

Dick: That's sweet, but I'm doing great, don't worry! Punched a bunch of criminals, hung out with friends, now I feel amazing. Of course, if it gets me an excuse to hang out with my little brother...

Tim: Cool, because I'm already breaking into your apartment and I'm -woah, what the fuck is that?

Dick: Oh, you like my new suit?

Tim: what the fuck holy shit is that a red lantern ring? Can you take it off?

Dick: I mean, I think I'll die? It's fine, it's fine, totally cool. Probably someone will have an idea how to fix it if I need to. I'm perfectly calm!

***

Izzy: Hey Duke, you feeling good about physics?

Duke: Wait what's in physics?

Izzy: The test...? That's gonna count for like half our grade...?

Duke, who meant to study this weekend but spent it sleeping off opioids after Croc nearly entirely gnawed off his foot: Ah, right, the test. It's going to be fine! I've figured stuff out with worse odds.

Izzy: If you say so! Hey what's that hovering ominously around you?

Duke, absent-mindedly pocketing a blue ring: hold on a second, gotta dip, Dick is texting me he needs help. You'll never guess what stupid shit he's gotten himself into.

***

Damian: Jordan! I challenge you in combat for the right to your ring!

Hal: Eh, kid... You really need a green lantern ring?

Damian: I shall prove I am as worthy of this honour as the rest of my fami- will you quit gazing off? What are you staring at?

Hal: *wordlessly points at the indigo ring floating behind him*

Damian: oh.

Wise words from my brother:

"What year is month?

August?"

Viper: Skull has the weirdest knowledge and skill set I have ever seen. Like, watch this.

Viper: HEY SKULL?

Skull, across the room: YEA?

Viper: why does antifreeze taste shit?

[skull wanders over while speaking]

Skull: ethelyne-glycol is a chemical compound toxic to the human body, and it’s used in antifreeze. Since it tastes sweet, people kept killing their spouses by mixing it with jello, so they eventually added something else to make it gross.

Viper: ok, what’s the most interesting place you know of?

Skull: uhhh, well, glacial Lake Agassiz existed a long LONG time ago, and it was essentially created by a glacier damming a river, and every so often it would create these MASSIVE floods when the ice lifted.

Viper: ok, how many times did humans domesticate cats?

Skull: actually they domesticated themselves at least three times.

Viper: alright. Who is the current president of the United States?

Skull, cheerfully: no clue!

[viper looks directly into the camera, gestures at skull, then walks away]

IMMEDIATELY asking for jason’s pov of the fake dating fic for the prompt meme. literally first and only thing that popped in my mind. i don’t have a specific scene in mind, any you want would be amazing

oh and i forgot to say happy belated birthday!! you don’t have to reply to this separately lmao

Thank you very much! I've always kind of wanted to write Jason's POV of the hickey scene in chapter two, so I hope you enjoy ♡♡

It probably made Jason a bad person, but how could he resist the opportunity when it was right there?

“You might not’ve noticed, but I’m a possessive kinda guy,” he said in extreme understatement. “When I own something—or someone—I make damn sure everyone knows. You need more than this if you’re gonna be mine.”

It was a lie. A shameless, shameless lie.

Was Jason the kinda guy who marked up his partners as much and as often as they’d allow? Yes.

Was there a single solitary person in Crime Alley who was gonna look at Red Hood’s boyfriend long enough to even realize he had hickies, let alone count them? Absolutely fucking not.

So it was a lie, and Jason knew it. Knew that Tim would be lucky to get eye contact as long as he was undercover, because nobody would want to be the moron caught staring at Red Hood’s boyfriend. Jason had never dated anyone as his crime lord persona before, so they wouldn’t know what kinda punishment he’d lay down for staring…but he was sure they could imagine, and it would keep all of their gazes firmly averted.

But the excuse was right there—right there like the hickies he’d left before, scattered across Tim’s neck and just begging to be joined by some friends—and who was Jason to ignore it?

Tim hadn’t answered. Jason felt like that was a good sign; better hesitation than an immediate ‘no.’

“So?” he asked. He couldn’t resist the urge to apply a little pressure to the mark below his thumb, treasuring the way Tim’s pulse jumped in response. “More, yes or no?”

Tim’s pulse evened out immediately, and not in a natural way. No, that was Tim applying Batman’s lessons in controlling his heartbeat. That was Tim needing to control his heartbeat, because Jason was absolutely getting to him.

“Sure,” Tim said casually. “Knock yourself out.”

“Great,” Jason said, matching Tim’s casual tone. Not easy, when the jealous, possessive thing in his chest was nearly purring in satisfaction. He’d had so much fun marking Tim up the first time and couldn’t wait to do it again.

…But half the fun was flustering Tim, and Jason was pretty sure Tim had a strength kink. (It would explain his baffling and infuriating affair with the super clone, for one, and also Jason was like seventy-five percent sure Tim had checked him out the last time he took advantage of the Batcave’s weights.)

So he took the excuse of their height difference to lift Tim right off his feet and put him on the kitchen island. Without asking. With no visible effort. (No effort required, it’d be so fucking easy to just pin Tim to the wall and hold him there while Jason fucked him—)

Tim was blushing. Fuck yes.

He also wasn’t asking why Jason had done that, which was an even better sign, Jason thought. Still, for the sake of appearances—

“You’re too short,” he offered in explanation. Tim didn’t so much as roll his eyes; another good sign.

He wanted to keep teasing Tim, see if he could get that faint blush darker and more obvious, but the other half of the plan called. They had a date to go on.

So he stepped up between Tim’s splayed legs and gripped his hips, yanked him to the edge of the island, and went to town.

Tim’s skin was soft beneath his lips. His shirt rubbed distractingly against Jason’s chest. And the quiet, hitching breaths he kept taking were driving Jason out of his goddamned mind.

He was obviously trying so hard to stay cool, to play it unaffected like he wasn’t bothered all by Jason’s attention, and he was failing. Calm, cold, unflappable Tim was being really fucking flapped by Jason giving him a few hickies.

It was hot as fuck—and, more importantly, it gave Jason hope. Hope that this plan might actually work after all. That he might walk away from this not only with his traitors dealt with, but with Tim finally being his as a bonus.

And if not…well, at least he’d have this memory: Tim’s stifled moans, the taste of his sweat, and his visible struggle not to arch up into Jason’s touch.

It wasn’t everything Jason wanted, but it was a damn good start.

If Jason and Damian both get to be Talia’s kids, then Tim and Cass both get to be Shiva’s kids. Like…

“Oh Jason’s trained under Talia thats why he gets to be her kid!” TIM HAS ALSO TRAINED UNDER SHIVA

Let Tim and Cass be the chaos twins they were always destined to be

B'traxia's Hive King Mating Guide for the Recently Transformed!

Gonna go ahead and lay down a large chunk of the first chapter of the fic that I'll be posting for this year's TentaTodd week because I'm excited as hell about it and have like zero patience lol

Summary: Tim finds what he thinks is porn with an emphasis on speculative biology in Jason's apartment, but it turns out the only speculative part is Jason's speculation about whether or not Tim will want to actually for realsies mate with him.

(It's very much playing off of my analysis of Brothers In Blood, which may explain a lot)

(Also if you saw the several sentances sunday thing: this is an extended and much more explicit version of that!)

Normally Tim would pretend to know better than to go snooping through Jason's stuff, especially when a storm had forced him to crash at one of his safehouses unannounced, but c'mon, these are only the bookshelves! What did Jason have them for if not to display the books?? Perfectly reasonable to take a look through the different spines, pull a few out enough to see the covers, maybe actually read one. After all there was no reason to suspect there'd be anything to hide such as-

B'traxia's Hive King Mating Guide for the Recently Transformed!

The cover features a lavish illustration of an alien with a roughly 'centaur' configuration of limbs. It's got a set of massive spikes for front legs that look great for digging and cleaving people in two, and a pair of cat like, pawed, digidigrade back legs. The spine and joints are armor plated, while the soft belly is lined with octopus arms of wildly varying sizes.

The alien is also proudly presenting his three MASSIVE PHALLUSES for the audience.

Tim sputters and laughs, opening the book up and flipping through it lazily.

The quality is ridiculously good overall. It's hand bound, full color, lavishly illustrated with diagrams and charts and cultural notes and- it's honestly hilariously Jason in nature now that he thinks about it. Like, of course, Jason with his snobby love of all things hand crafted would masturbate to some niche fetish shit in a weird format full of way too much worldbuilding. It's probably bespoke too; Tim would lay good money that Jason commissioned the artist himself.

Tim flips back to the first page and starts reading.

Congratulations on your successful chrysalis hatching, my new brethren! Whether you got here by choice or circumstance, this guide is designed to help you understand the most important topic for your new biology and psychology: sex! For most species, sex is merely one activity among many. Most adults spend most of their time on other things, such as making objects or completing economic tasks. The internal impulses of such adults account for a wide variety of needs. Hunger, thirst, tiredness, these are all different sensations because the adult is expected to do different things in order to sate them. This is not so for Hive Kings like us! The primary way a Hive King interacts with the world is through his hive beast workers. His biology does not expect him to labor or travel or do anything other than have sex with his brooders, impregnating them with the hundreds of workers who serve him! When a Hive King's blood sugar levels lower, he does not feel anything. Instead it is his workers which feel a desire to feed him. What happens then, when the Hive King does not have enough workers to keep himself fed? He starts craving sex! Breeding makes more workers and workers are how the Hive King eats! Nearly all desires and cravings are sublimated in this way. Either they are passed to the workers who then fulfill the Hive King's wishes adequately, or they go unsated and are converted into potent breeding lust. Thus sexual desire becomes the primary lens through which the Hive King experiences his own needs and wants. This is especially important information for Hive Kings who choose to remain alone or in very small hives. If you want to go this route, I recommend you carefully track and record your own sexual cravings to ensure that you're getting your needs met. Specific kinks may be signs of specific needs. For instance, Kyalgn from Sector 17 reports that thirst often manifests as desires to swallow his partners whole or have them urinate in his mouth. Note that all of the above merely adds to the already elevated sexual drive of Hive Kings. The deep craving for constant, fertile breeding sex is usually the first instinctual effect of the transformation that a Hive King notices.

Tim is... honestly getting into it a bit. He's got one hell of a thing for breeding, so sue him, and while he's not so much into being the alien, he's enjoying the thought of someone truly insatiable trying to knock him up over and over again despite not being the same species.

It is a bit too wordy for his tastes though. Tim skips passed a frankly obscene amount of detailed anatomical and biochemical analysis in order to get to the good stuff already.

The Hive King first wraps the brooder's body in his tentacles and engages in foreplay. If he can coax at least one orgasm out of the Brooder before the breeding process begins, that is ideal. Happy, relaxed, pleasured Brooders are safer Brooders who bear healthier children. Then the Hive King will carefully fill up the Brooder's cunt with his ovipositor, thrusting shallowly until he reaches the cervix. His dilating hooks will then latch on to the cervix, injecting the brooder with aphrodisic-anesthetic-hypermobilitic chemicals, and begin stretching the Brooder open so that they can receive his eggs. Upon achieving enough dilation for his eggs to fit safely, the ovipositor will thrust a few inches deeper and the Hive King will experience ovipositional orgasm as his body pumps his eggs into his mate's womb. Depending on the size of the eggs and the size of his Brooder mate, this process can take anywhere from thirty minutes to two hours and the orgasm will last until the last egg is inside and his ovipositor unhooks from their cervix. Once all the eggs are safely inside, it's important to move on to the second phase of sex as soon as possible. Remember: the longer the eggs spend unfertilized, the more risky the pregnancy becomes. Next, using his cocks, the Hive King must thrust into his mate's pussy again with both penises, ideally reaching passed the cervix and hitting the back of the womb with each thrust. Every time he orgasms this way he will spill roughly two gallons of cum into his mate. As the sex continues nearly all of this will spill out, but don't worry: this is desirable. The flow of perfluorocarbon seminal fluid must be continuous, as it provides vital nutrients and oxygen to the developing embryos. Do not allow yourself more than 43 minutes rest in between one orgasm ending and beginning to work yourself up for the next orgasm. Ideally, you should simply not stop thrusting for the entirety of the roughly 78 hour pregnancy.

It's completely absurd. More than three days of non-stop pregnant sex while high as a kite on alien aphrodisiac venom.

Gods what he wouldn't give for it to be real.

Tim unbuttons his pants, widening his stance and slipping a hand over his underwear, lightly rubbing the head of his clit through the fabric.

"And just what the fuck do you think you're reading?"

It takes every second worth of Tim's years of training not to startle out of his skin at the sound of Jason's voice.

"Really hot porn." He replies coolly.

Jason's still got his mask on and his hood up but it's clear to see he's taken aback (as was the intent).

"Really?"

"What? You think I don't have kinks?"

His head tilts, his lenses narrowing.

"...Guess you are exactly the right kinda tight laced to be into some freak shit."

"Rude. True, mind you, and pretty fucking hypocritical, but still rude."

Jason hmms acknowledgment of his hypocrisy. His gaze drops from Tim's face to the book and finally down to the hand still in his pants. It is so very hard to read any sort of expression through the masks, but Tim feels like he's got a damn solid bet as to what Jason's feeling right now.

He rolls the dice and starts stroking his clit again, deliberately making it obvious.

Jason's breathing gets heavier, his adam's apple bobs as he swallows thickly, his shoulders go tense - all good signs. Then his hips rock in sympathy with one of Tim's strokes and he knows without a shadow of a doubt that Jason is into this.

Tim grins.

There's something deeply gratifying in getting caught and then shamelessly continuing to pleasure himself. It makes him feel depraved - sinfully self indulgent in the best kind of way.

"So you like imagining yourself as a big scary monster who lives to fuck his eggs into people, huh? Got jealous of the xenomorphs while watching Aliens?"

"Yup. Clearly I don't have to explain the appeal to you."

"Actually, I think you do. I'm only interested in being the one getting bred; I don't honestly get the deal about being the one doing the topping."

Jason grips and leans against the bookshelf, clearly aiming for casual and missing by about a million miles to land firmly in 'seems like he's so horny he might faint' territory.

"Oh, cool. Coolcoolcool- uh, what if I get a towel and get you comfortable on the couch and we compare notes?"

Tim just barely holds himself back from laughing and says, "Sounds great!"

did Jason technically never go through puberty or did he just speed run that shit??

broke: jason is tims robin who tim stalked on rooftops and has an unhealthy obsession with

woke: tim is jasons robin who jason stalked on rooftops and has an unhealthy obsession with

in this essay i will-

"tim is just like bruce" "tim is a mini batman" listen to me. fuck that. tim literally says he is not like batman and he does not want to be like batman. multiple times! throw that shit right out. do you wanna know who tim is a mini-me of?

listen to me. grips you by the shoulders. listen.

tim could be the second coming of lois lane.

they both have this incredibly nosy streak and an inability to stay out of situations if they think they can improve them. they are both fuelled by the need to do what is right and if no one else is gonna do it then by god they will.

"i care so much that i have to do something about it" is a fundamental tim and lois trait. "a locked door just means you have something to hide and i will find it" is also a fundamental tim and lois trait.

they are so similar. i NEED lois to get her hands on tim. i need them to get into hijinks and shenanigans together and i need clark and kon to look at each other and go "jesus christ there's TWO of them now?" as they hurry to go put out a fire. i need lois to hone and refine tim's hubristic streak and i need tim to enable her nosy snooping tendencies. tim & lois could be something beautiful. does anyone hear me. hi for the love of god hello is anyone listening