You’ll Take Everything If We Give You The Chance.  

Imagine giving Thorin and Bilbo a hit off your joint

Kili: something smells

You: *sniffs* I know what that is, it’s my weed *pulls out the tin you keep your stache in and opens it*

Bilbo: that is some pungent pipeweed

You: wanna try some?

Bilbo: sure why not

You: anyone else want some?

Thorin: I’m bored so I’ll have some

You: alright then *lights up the joint and takes a puff to get it going before passing it to Bilbo*

Bilbo: I just take a puff?

You: *nods your head* start off with one and then work your way up to a second if the first didn’t do much*

Bilbo: *takes a drag before handing it to Thorin*

Thorin: *takes a puff and proceeds to cough like an amateur* that is some skunky stuff.

Bilbo: I don’t feel anything.

You: give it time. *finishes off the joint in a few puffs*

*half and hour later*

Bilbo: *lying on the floor, drool coming out the side of his mouth and just staring wide eyed at the ceiling*

Thorin: *slumped over on the couch* why do the back of my eyes hurt?

You: it causes rapid eye movements

Thorin: I’m super hungry

You: and the munchies

Thorin: I’m going to go see if there is anything left to eat *gets up and steps over Bilbo*

Bilbo: *grabs onto Thorin’s ankle*

Thorin: *drags Bilbo with him*

Dwalin: how come you are unaffected by the pipeweed?

You: I’m used to it.

Bilbo: *starts cackling for no reason in the other room*

Kili: *enters the room* why is uncle just sitting in the pantry eating a whole onion?

You: munchies man, munchies. He’s lucky y'all cleaned most of the pantry out already or the two of them would, I know I’ve done that before.

Masterlist for ‘The Hobbit’ fics

Dwalin x reader

The Twelve Days of Dwarfmas, Part 1 - Thorin , Part 2 - Fili , Part 3 - Kili, Part 4 - Bombur, Part 5 - Bifur

Kili x reader

Hunting wound

Thorin x reader

Accidental confession

Me:*Go’s on Tumblr to find good Fanfic*

Tumblr:Sorry, your search wasnt found! There is only THE VOID!!

Me:*Laughs nervously* That’s okay I didn’t want to read today anyway….

Internally:WHATDOYOUMEANBICH! I came here to have a good time!

hey here’s a nsfw meme that has like, explicit consent and boundary-setting and whatnot in it, enjoy

“Do you need to use your safe word?”

“Tighter.”

“Is that too tight?”

“I’m going to go slowly.”

“Tell me how it feels.”

“That feels so good…”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Undress me.”

“Nice and slow.”

“Do you want more?”

“Spread your legs and show me.”

“Do you need a break?”

“I need a break.”

“Count them for me.”

“You’re doing so well.”

“Did that make you wet?”

“Let me have a taste.”

“You don’t have to be gentle.”

“I love having you inside me.”

“Beg me.”

“More…”

“Please, more!”

“Louder.”

“Is this alright?”

“We can stop if you need to.”

“Do you like being bitten?”

“I like when people can see.”

“I like it when you make me sore.”

“I wore this for you.”

“Wear this for me?”

the bi-strut™

15/? » sweet pea gifs #hot2

Chris Evans, the #1 fan of Chris Hemsworth & Thor

Please

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

why the fuck is no one naming their children after greek goddesses? Name your fucking child Persephone?????? Bitch???????!?