notabouttotellyou
they/them ominously lurking in the shadows waiting for a response
48 posts
Latest Posts by notabouttotellyou
Hey, here’s a concept. What if we stopped saying “but autistic people CAN do all those things” (erasing high support needs) and instead started saying “not being able to do those things doesn’t impact someone’s value as a person nor does it make it okay to commit eugenics”.
Bothersome beast, comforting friend
i wish more younger queers learned about the AIDS epidemic
i'm a 17 year old, ex-evangelical, queer and trans kid from the south; i never learned from the adults in my life about AIDS/HIV and my school didn't teach me either.
i became disabled when i was 13 and at the same time i was in a sort of an identity crisis about my sexuality and gender. i've always been a huge history and culture nerd so those were the first things i looked to in order to make sense of myself. i quickly learned about queer and trans icons of the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s. i learned about harvey milk, james baldwin, andy warhol, divine, freddie mercury, and jayne county. i learned about how monumental their lives were and how much of an impact they had on our culture. but i still hasn't even scratched the surface. in 2021 dan levy wore a david wojnarowicz inspired outfit and i started doing research on david. in my research about david, i learned about keith haring, and felix gonzalez-torres. i saw their art and absorbed the life inside of it. i started reading about AIDS/HIV and the medical history of it. about how disabling the condition was mentally and physically. how people with it were shamed and shunned. how people still live with the pain and stigma of the condition and how AIDS severely affects the disabled. my heart hurt.
in mid 2024, i watched the series fellow travelers. i was enthralled in the pain and love of it all. people who know me know that when i love something, i LOVE something. the character tim develops AIDS and then eventually kaposi's sarcoma. i didn't know you could get cancer on top of AIDS. you could see him fighting until his last breath. his passion and fire and feistiness never left even when he was at his sickest. witnessing the all consuming love story of tim and hawk and then seeing tim being dragged out of life was painful. knowing that the government at the time did absolutely nothing to help anyone with the condition broke my heart.
all of these things, along with learning later from my queer elders, put it into perspective for me about how much we are fighting for. i cherish my community so much more. my queer joy became radical in the face of politicians trying to take it away. seeing queer and trans people in public and in pictures through history brings me comfort and warmth. i've never had as a big of a smile on my face as when i was looking through a photo gallery of 80s dykes. i'm so fucking proud and grateful and thankful and loving of my community because of us. our existence is enough to keep the world running. our love and our pain are more important than we could ever imagine.
thank you queer elders for being you forever. i love you even though i don't know you. long live the friends of dorothy!🩷🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
EVERYONE(!) I’m blazing this post because at this pace we might barely hit 1,000,000 signatures—or just fall short. PLEASE reblog this post, no matter where you are from, so we can reach as many EU citizens as possible and end this horrible practice!
Good news: you can now apply the Planescape solution to automatons that annoy you
workouts & stretches for posture
🤍 5 minute everyday pilates back routine by lidia mera
🤍 8 minute fix for neck hump by yuuka sagwa
🤍 8 minute upper body stretch by mizi
🤍 10 minute fix forward head & neck posture by mizi
🤍 10 minute fix your posture pilates style stretch by eleni fit
🤍 10 minute workout & stretch for round back by pamela reif
🤍 10 minute slim back & better posture by emi wong
🤍 10 minute fix posture & reduce back pain by mady morrison
🤍 20 minute posture correction by akshaya agnes
🤍 25 minute workout for better posture by growingannanas
🤍 25 minute pilates for better posture by move with nicole
🤍 30 minute pilates for upper body & posture by move with nicole
25 screen free activities
do a puzzle
play an instrument
sew
draw and doodle
go on a walk
read
clean your room
write a story
paint
bake
scrapbooking
make a bracelet
garden
candle making
origami
photography
meditate
paint your nails
host a game night with friends or family!
do your makeup
write a love letter
collect rocks, flowers, etc. outside
cuddle with your pet!
visit the library
take an everything shower
Who is SHE?
→ journal out who you want to be in 2025:
1. What does she look like? (Physical appearance, style)
2. How does she dress on a typical day?
3. What does she like ?
4. What doesn't she like?
5. What is her behavior like in different situations?
6. (Social interactions, demeanor)
7. How does she prefer to be treated by others? (Expectations from relationships)
8. How does she treat people around her? (Interpersonal relationships, kindness)
9. What does her daily routine entail? (Activities, schedule)
10. At what time does she usually go to bed? (Sleeping habits)
11. When does she wake up in the morning? (Morning routine)
12. What are her hobbies and interests? (Leisure activities)
13. What is her profession or occupation? (Career, job responsibilities)
14. What are her long-term goals and aspirations? (Career ambitions, personal achievements)
15. How does she handle stress or challenges? (Coping mechanisms, problem-solving approach)
16. What type of books does she enjoy? (Cultural preferences)
17. How does she maintain her physical and mental well-being? (Health and self-care routines)
18. Does she have any specific dietary preferences or restrictions? (Food choices)
19. Who are her closest friends, and what are her relationships like with them?(Friendship dynamics)
20. How does she navigate conflicts or disagreements? (Communication style, conflict resolution)
21. What values and principles guide her decision-making? (Personal ethics)
22. How does she spend her leisure time on weekends? (Weekend activities, relaxation methods)
Recipes around 100-200 calories
Chocolate lava cake (98)
Baked Zucchini Fritters (38)
Stuffed mushrooms (78.6)
Coconut cauliflower rice (107)
Roasted vegetable soup (100)
Salted caramel oatmeal (100)
Chocolate cake (70)
Brownies (46)
Blueberry muffins (62)
Strawberry cheesecake (47)
Carrot cake (72)
Green onion cakes (50)
Pumpkin and spinach quiches (53)
Zucchini noodles (80)
Low calorie wraps (90)
Stuffed bell pepper (166)
Easy zucchini parmesan (52)
Thai chicken & mushroom broth (179)
Mexican mini bell pepper nachos (190)
Celery, Onion and Spinach Soup (43)
Tomato soup (55)
Stir-Fried Veggies with Chicken (97)
Vegan leek and potato soup (170)
Healthy Creamy Vegetable Soup (124)
I'm sorry if they're too high, I tried to keep them around 100 but it's hard to find good recipes as well
If you find out some have more calories than said then tell me, I will remove them from the list
This is the worst timeline. (x)
so can we start hunting down white liberals now or what
By the way, you can improve your executive function. You can literally build it like a muscle.
Yes, even if you're neurodivergent. I don't have ADHD, but it is allegedly a thing with ADHD as well. And I am autistic, and after a bunch of nerve damage (severe enough that I was basically housebound for 6 months), I had to completely rebuild my ability to get my brain to Do Things from what felt like nearly scratch.
This is specifically from ADDitude magazine, so written specifically for ADHD (and while focused in large part on kids, also definitely includes adults and adult activities):
Here's a link on this for autism (though as an editor wow did that title need an editor lol):
Resources on this aren't great because they're mainly aimed at neurotypical therapists or parents of neurdivergent children. There's worksheets you can do that help a lot too or thought work you can do to sort of build the neuro-infrastructure for tasks.
But a lot of the stuff is just like. fun. Pulling from both the first article and my own experience:
Play games or video games where you have to make a lot of decisions. Literally go make a ton of picrews or do online dress-up dolls if you like. It helped me.
Art, especially forms of art that require patience, planning ahead, or in contrast improvisation
Listening to longform storytelling without visuals, e.g. just listening regularly to audiobooks or narrative podcasts, etc.
Meditation
Martial arts
Sports in general
Board games like chess or Catan (I actually found a big list of what board games are good for building what executive functioning skills here)
Woodworking
Cooking
If you're bad at time management play games or video games with a bunch of timers
Things can be easier. You might always have a disability around this (I certainly always will), but it can be easier. You do not have to be this stuck forever.
the things that we've been forced to manage through crowdfunding websites are insane. victims of a genocide are having to market themselves as someone who is worthy of being saved.
living for more than a year under an active genocide while seeing your oppressors cruelty and disregard for your life increase is so horrendous.
every single person in gaza has lost too much. i don't think everyone must have to share their personal loss in order to be deemed as a person worthy of safety. i think we should try to help those we can see asking for it.
i request you to help alaa and her children. she needs to buy supplies and remain safe. her area was bombed very recently. her fundraiser has been verified.
please donate here
400+ people were killed in gaza last night.
Likes don’t increase visibility to others! Please reblog this to spread the word!
I think Werewolf is an inherently queer medium
This is all a part of a larger long-term project.
I am trying to hold the World of Darkness to higher standards of inclusivity.
Book 1: Cliath
Meet The Gaians — a chosen people blessed by Gaia of whom among them there are heroes who are born, blessed with the power to Change. They have been charged with the duty of protecting her and her brood, and among them are fellowships from every culture. They are largely comprised of Kinfolk. Vanguards of the earth, they follow the Codes and Creeds of renown in chiminage to the spirits in exchange for favor, protection, and power to strengthen their Fellowships and they form one of several primary factions.
A small number of Gaia’s chosen have been gifted the ability to shapeshift through either bite or birth into animals; warriors joining the fight against the Wyrm. The Gaians have many secret names for these shapeshifters between their cultures, and they range across many animal species and tribes, but the most common among them in these times are Garou.
This sourcebook includes information on First Changes, Rites of Passage, how people become werewolves, and what they're fighting for. Book 1 is effectively a players guide, including enough comprehensive character creation rules for people to create rank 1 Garou.
The World of Darkness is implied to exist just beneath a facade that all others take for granted as simply being a world gone wrong. When the Change happens to a Garou, human or otherwise, the world they once knew ceases to be. The Apocalypse is said to be something happening to everything, everywhere, simultaneously, and on every level. This transcends the concept of everything succumbing to a singular event but many small ones.
In many ways, the Garou themselves are emblematic of this Apocalypse, with these former lives ending and sweeping the cub into something far bigger than themselves. A Call To Action is the theme of Book 1.
Book 1: Cliath goes into warborn, bitten, wolf-born, and human-born lives leading up to the change. It presents a curated depiction of the Garou from the perspective of those who would mentor them. There are not a lot of conflicts, profound lore, or politics so much as 'this is what we are, this is what we do.' Functionally, this can be considered a Players’ Guide, containing your attributes, abilities, advantages, and Merits and Flaws. Gifts and rites will be truncated to rank 1 for the most part. Guidelines for new STs will be found here, including enough powers and enemy stats to keep their troupe of players on their toes. This will also include things like chargen and descriptions of attributes, abilities, and advantages. This will also have many details on packs and the importance of one's packmates. And what better way to introduce new players than to have it happen in an all-new setting for storytellers to introduce their players to the game: the first three chapters of Dead Mountain!
Dead Mountain isn't going anywhere. In fact, it will be used as the foundation for this series. Already-finished parts of the Dead Mountain will be released over the next few months, and a delayed release of the full chronicle will come next spring. The scope of Werewolf: the Essentials will strongly diverge from past game traditions. In past core books and settings, there was an intent to showcase the world at large, written from the perspective of people who had never been to these places. In the end, many details were laughably wrong or mediocre representations that didn’t appeal to the groups they represented. We want the World of Darkness to be HUGE. So, we will be laser-focusing this project to represent the Garou from the Pacific Northwest as an example, with guidelines on how to make your own World of Darkness at your locale HUGE too!
CALLING ALL CHARACHS!
We cannot make this happen without your help. We are putting out the call for folx from all parts of the queer, lesbian, trans, bisexual, gay, and asexual werewolf fandom looking to help make this the best possible release we can:
Artists
Horror writers
Editors
Consultants
Hype Wolves to help spread the word
Indie TTRPG creators
Working together, we can create a game that is fun, engaging, and genuinely representative of the diverse community of players and fans who love Werewolf. To help us out, click here We look forward to providing you future updates!
UPDATE: Our team has grown huge, and we're grateful to the fandom for rising up and howling with us! We received far more applications than we were able to fully process, but we promise to deliver you the best possible Sourcebook anthology we can! Meet the Writing Team Meet the Art Team Follow our official account for future announcements! To check out a book preview and help us hire cultural consultants click here
Social Media Shout-out! I offer my thanks to @peltofash and @a-boros-named-seamus for supporting me on the Adren and Athro tiers! Your contributions are directly helping make this game more inclusive!
#me when my friends once again try to drag me into their obscure fandoms
okaaayyy horses
Some witches skating
What I was taught growing up: Wild edible plants and animals were just so naturally abundant that the indigenous people of my area, namely western Washington state, didn't have to develop agriculture and could just easily forage/hunt for all their needs.
The first pebble in what would become a landslide: Native peoples practiced intentional fire, which kept the trees from growing over the camas praire.
The next: PNW native peoples intentionally planted and cultivated forest gardens, and we can still see the increase in biodiversity where these gardens were today.
The next: We have an oak prairie savanna ecosystem that was intentionally maintained via intentional fire (which they were banned from doing for like, 100 years and we're just now starting to do again), and this ecosystem is disappearing as Douglas firs spread, invasive species take over, and land is turned into European-style agricultural systems.
The Land Slide: Actually, the native peoples had a complex agricultural and food processing system that allowed them to meet all their needs throughout the year, including storing food for the long, wet, dark winter. They collected a wide variety of plant foods (along with the salmon, deer, and other animals they hunted), from seaweeds to roots to berries, and they also managed these food systems via not only burning, but pruning, weeding, planting, digging/tilling, selectively harvesting root crops so that smaller ones were left behind to grow and the biggest were left to reseed, and careful harvesting at particular times for each species that both ensured their perennial (!) crops would continue thriving and that harvest occurred at the best time for the best quality food. American settlers were willfully ignorant of the complex agricultural system, because being thus allowed them to claim the land wasn't being used. Native peoples were actively managing the ecosystem to produce their food, in a sustainable manner that increased biodiversity, thus benefiting not only themselves but other species as well.
So that's cool. If you want to read more, I suggest "Ancient Pathways, Ancestral Knowledge: Ethnobotany and Ecological Wisdom of Indigenous Peoples of Northwestern North America" by Nancy J. Turner
One of my co-workers has a standing desk that he uses sitting down. It looks like this
“denied the catharsis of punishment” is an underappreciated but hugely effective narrative consequence imo
My sibling is alt-right and extremely hateful about his beliefs. He goes on tirades about liberal agendas and screams and insults me and our other family members when we attempt to debate with him. I live with him and being around him negatively impacts my mental health, especially with me being part of some of the groups he hates so much. I don’t know what to do. I feel so much hatred for him, but he’s my brother and we used to be close.
Members of the so-called “alt right” or “manosphere” actually bear very strong similarities to cult members - they become increasingly rigid in their beliefs, they have decreasing tolerance for ambiguity (everything starts to become either right or wrong, with no room for grey areas), they become increasingly preoccupied with “purity” of thought, their beliefs start to become the core of their personal identity, they accept the word of thought leaders without question or critical thinking, their relationships with family and friends deteriorate, and they often experience negative consequences at work or school as a direct result of their beliefs.
Dealing with a friend or family member who has joined the alt-right is very different from dealing with a family member who is dabbling with the idea of voting Conservative for economic reasons, or dealing with a family member who erroneously believes that Game of Thrones isn’t very good. Reasoned discussion and laying out your point of view will not work here. The tactics that you need to use with him are actually the tactics used to deprogram cult members, which includes things like:
Do not debate him. Never debate a cult member under any circumstances. It’s a complete waste of time for everybody involved, and it only serves to further entrench him in his toxic beliefs. Cult members do not approach debates in good faith - they are not open to having their minds changed, and they have no intention of ever listening to the other side. Cult members use debate as a tool to recruit people with possibly like-minded beliefs, or as a tool to gather evidence that the “other side” is delusional. The more you debate, the harder he will fight to come up with justifications for his beliefs, and the more satisfaction he will get from feeling like he is defending his “side” from attack. Shut down all debate with him. If he tries to start a debate, redirect immediately. If he makes an inflammatory statement at the dinner table, respond with something non-committal ( “hmmmmm”, “is that so?”, “okay” ) and immediately change the subject. Don’t get sucked in. No matter how hard he tries to open up a debate, deflect, shut him down, or walk away.
Treat him with detached politeness. I know that it is very difficult not to get visibly upset when someone is insulting the very core of who you are as a person and what you believe, but but you have to stay calm and detached here. Do not let him see that he is upsetting you. When he is going on rants about his beliefs, treat him like a child who is explaining the rules to a video game that you don’t particularly care about - have an air of detached boredom, and no matter how hostile he gets, respond only with politeness. Remember, part of the core beliefs he’s being fed is that people outside of the alt-right are “emotional”, and that his beliefs are “triggering” to those people. Give him no evidence to suggest that is true. Stonewall him. Give him nothing but bored stoicism in response to his outbursts. No matter how much he escalates or how horrifying his beliefs get, always act as though you are having a polite conversation about the weather with a stranger at Starbucks. If he tells you that women should should be property and gays should be killed, respond only with a polite “Well, I suppose that’s one perspective”, or “Yes, I believe you have mentioned this before”. Nothing takes the wind out of a cult member’s sails faster than being treated with calm politeness when they are expecting a fight.
Do not insult him or the people who share his beliefs. The glue that holds cults together is a persecution complex. Cults absolutely thrive on being persecuted for their beliefs, and they depend on it to keep members from leaving. “People outside this group hate you and they will treat you much worse than we will” is the message that keeps people from leaving hateful cults, all the way up until the Kool-Aid is served. He is being fed the message by his fellow cult members that he is hated for who he is - a, presumably, straight white man - and that “Liberals” hate him so much that they want to take away the things he is “owed” (money, power, security, etc) and give it away to undeserving minorities who haven’t really “earned” it. Give him no evidence to suggest that this is true. Refrain from insulting him, or insulting the people he views as thought leaders or role models. You can definitely express your political opinions and make it clear that you are not buying into your brother’s worldview, but keep things direct and refrain from personal attacks. If he is gloating about the president to intentionally get a rise out of you, a simple “I disagree with his policies” is all you have to say - launching into attacks about the president’s looks, family, mannerisms or intelligence is fuel for your brother’s hateful beliefs. Remember that when it comes to your brother, you are not acting in the role of a left-wing activist facing off against a dangerous right-wing activist with a platform. You are a concerned family member dealing with a family member who has gotten involved in a cult.
Ask polite questions, but do not engage directly with his beliefs. Do not read any of the reading material he recommends, listen to any of the podcasts he puts forward or view any of the videos he asks you to watch; it might be tempting to do so just to prove that you are engaging with him in “good faith” and that you have given his views an “honest try”, but this is a mistake. There is no such thing as “good faith” or intellectual honesty when it comes to cults, and there is nothing to gain from engaging in their propaganda. Do not treat anything produced or recommended by a cult as if it has value, because it does not. When he provides you with something he wants to you read, behave as though a young child has just handed you a live earthworm - thank him for the gesture, but decline to accept. Engaging with propaganda just legitimizes it, and gives him more ammunition to hunker down in his beliefs. When you do ask questions of his beliefs, be detached and polite. If he is ranting that all women are whores, ask him what the basis is for that belief. You are not looking to debate him or get a rise out of him - don’t fire back with counter-points, but make a polite, disinterested noise of acknowledgement, or ask for further clarification. You are merely looking for holes in his reasoning, or gaps where he doesn’t have evidence to back up what he says. You don’t need to point these holes out to him - there will be many. When he is unable to be specific, once again, make a polite acknowledgement ( “Interesting.” ) and move on.
Emphasize how much you miss your former relationship with him. Tell your brother that you miss him. Be specific - talk about the things that you used to do together, and the ways that he used to be involved in your life. If he tries to deflect and start talking about his beliefs again, or how he can’t be involved with you anymore because of your own beliefs or identity, don’t engage. Go back to talking about how you miss the relationship you used to have with him. If he insults you, pretend you didn’t hear him and remind him of a happy memory or a fun thing that you used to do together. It can take a really long time to have success with this tactic, but your brother does remember the relationship he used to have with you, and it is possible to remind him of what he is missing out on by continuing with his hateful beliefs. The idea is to take his beliefs out of the equation as much as possible - make him miss the relationship that he used to have. Any attempt at mending the relationship on his end will necessarily require that he get less extreme in his beliefs - it’s difficult to pursue a close relationship with someone and still insult them.
Remind him of normal life outside the cult. People in the alt-right - and other cults - tend to become hyper-focused only on issues that concern the cult, and begin to forget about normal life. Your brother is likely spending a lot of time and focus on things like the “sexual marketplace”, abortion rights, refugees, gay rights, female superhero movies etc. Bring him back to earth as often as you can with reminders of things that are outside the scope of the alt-right, and are minimally politically charged. Start a conversation about a new restaurant that is opening up in your town. Show him a funny cat video. Ask him if he’s seen a minimally controversial movie. Constant reminds of normalcy can gradually help him realize how hyper-focused he has become on a few small issues, and remind him that his worldview and priorities are incredibly skewed.
Protect your own mental health. Living with a cult member is exhausting. The combination of fending off the insults, being bombarded with hate rhetoric and missing the person they used to be is exhausting. Make sure you are protecting your own mental health. Take breaks. Leave the house and spend time with other people. Lean on friends and other family members for support. Take care of yourself. Getting someone out of a cult is a marathon, not a sprint, and it’s important to conserve your energy. It can take up to five years to get someone to fully leave cult beliefs behind. Be patient.
One of the hard parts about dealing with alt-right family members is that people make the mistake of approaching them as a political movement, when it is more appropriate to address them as a cult. The way that they operate is much more similar to the dynamics of a cult than the dynamics of a mainstream political movement, and deprogramming techniques are your best bet for getting your family member back. I highly recommend that you and your family read up on cults and the tactics used to get people out of them. It is especially helpful to read testimony from people who have escaped cults or successfully been persuaded to leave them - if possible, look for materials from people who have left the alt-right, and try to present this material to your brother. This is an incredibly difficult thing for a family to go through, and I highly recommend that you seek out other families who are dealing with similar situations - you are far from alone here.
Best of luck to all of you.
suck, and i cannot stress this enough, my cock to the fucking base
tbh i never really considered seals. until i finally saw one irl and was like omg. the creature
this is my artistic representation of what they looked like on the beach from where i was standing in the distance
it was the most magical day of my life
guys. please
I fucking hate game apps. I wanted to play tetris the otherday so I figured there must be a simple tetris app out there its the most basic game. But every app is like heres your daily log in bonus of 10 gold! You get 5 free plays a day. Here's an ad. To replay a level costs 1 diamond. You can eart gold by earning points in levels. 1000 points = 1 gold. You can exchange 550 gold for one diamond but we have a sale right now that they only cost 500 gold. Heres an ad. You can buy a loot crate of diamonds for 5.99$! You leveled up! Heres 1 free diamond. Youve run out of free replays for today, would you like to buy some more diamonds? Heres your daily tasks, make sure to log in every day this month for a free reward chest. its free! Heres an ad. Would you like to sign up for this credit card to recieve 10 free diamonds? Invite a friend and you can earn points! Ding! Youve leveled up. Heres an ad. This is our special bonus play weekend, you get one free replay and a pack of diamonds only costs 4.99$. You can use your gold to purchase new skins for the tetris blocks. This ones shaped like cats! It costs 100 diamonds. You need to collect them all. Free to play, may be some in-app purchases.
ok last thing. but what people fundamentally need to get through their heads is the significance of gaza fundraisers not being the same as like mutual aid when you're helping someone get groceries, because it is a genocide. there is insane deliberate scarcity and prices are unmanageable, because there is nowhere nearly enough for everyone, so only people who can pay can eat. and what positioning individual fundraisers as the only course of action does is quite simply give a tiny percentage of random people whose fundraisers take off the ability to pay those prices while thousands of others can't. and every one of those thousands of people without a fundraiser is suffering through the same inconceivably horrific reality. it is giving a few completely desperate people out of hundreds of thousands a slightly more favorable position in a horrific war economy of imposed scarcity. and what grassroots community kitchens do is try to mitigate in some small way that inconceivable hierarchy of who can pay and who can't, by stretching ingredients as far as they can last to cook meals at large scale and give them out at no cost. and obviously people are still going to send money to their friends and families because this is hell what else are we supposed to do but please just think about that before promoting endless individual fundraisers as somehow the most ethical way to help
i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping