Song Is Pretty Fly For A White Guy By The Offspring Cat Is Cleo

All credit to comic A Softer World (go check em out)

nice

Honestly the best way to listen to bullets

what about the elvis

Tumblr is either

"The locusts are coming, it's not my fault."

"@satan-offical ?"

"Tag game. Notes game. Let's be moots?"

"FUCK MORIOS, MORIOS CAN SUCK MY DI-"

Or

"sex...SEX 𝒮𝐸Х sᴇx ՏᎬХ 𝕾𝕰Ӽ ꁴ​ꏂꉼ ႽჹX §È× §È× 𝚂𝙴𝚇 ֆɛӼ ＳＥＸ ᎦᏋ೫ 𝖲𝖤𝖷 ՏᎬХ ＳＥＸ 𝓢𝓔𝓧 ႽჹX 𝘚𝘌𝘟 ＳＥＸ ˢᴱˣ ֆɛӼ 𝓢𝓔𝓧 SEX 𝐒𝐄𝐗 𝙎𝙀𝙓-"

Or

"Fuck Trump, fuck ICE."

"...𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙘𝙨."

"LET'S BE GAY AND DO CRIME."

"...........queeeeeeeeeeeeeeernesssssss.......... "

And I'm afraid there is no in between.

It's the triangle of Lifeblr.

Woah mamaaaaaaa oooooooooh, behold my anthem for the Elvisverse, to the tune of Welcome to the Internet by Bo Burnham.

I tried to include as many Elvises as possible but I could only fit about a third of them in.

Welcome to the Elvisverse

Have a look around

Any Elvis that your brain can think of can be found

There are hundreds of Elvii

Some better, some worse

Of all the Elvii in existence, this one's the first @elvis-official

Welcome to the Elvisverse

Come and take a seat

Would you like to see a ghost @ghost-of-elvis-official @the-ghost-of-elvis

Or meet an Elvis in the street @random-elvis-encounter

There's no need to panic

This isn't a test

Just nod your head and Elvis will do the rest

Welcome to the Elvisverse

What would you prefer:

You can meet a moth who likes bright lights @moth-elvis

Or sit around and purr @elvispurrsley @catboy-presley

Be scary @scary-elvis @really-evil-elvis @evil-elvis-official @elviritch-horrors

Be funny @clown-elvis

Put words to the page @edgarallenpoevis

We got more Elvises with whom to engage

Welcome to the internet

Put your cares aside

Here's some Elvii who love pasta @italian-elvis-official @italian-elvis-unofficial @italian-elvis

Here are some Elvii who died @death-elvis-official @elvis-hell

We got muppets @muppet-elvis @muppet-joker-elvis, and cat girls @catgirl-presley, some elves @elvish--presley and some dwarves @dwarvish-presley

And a great big pile of all the Elvises in the Elvisverse merging with each other! @shifting-mound-of-elvii Welcome to the Elvisverse!

Hold on to your socks

There's a Batman Elvis @batvis-manley dragon Elvis @dragon-elvis Elvis on a rock @penguin-elvis

They're tiny @tiny-elvis @elvis-compressedly and they're stressing @elvis-stressley

They crawl on the floor @snailvis @wormvis @beetle-elvis

Please be advised

There are still so many more

See Elvis in Minecraft @minelvis-craftsley @elvis-mumbo @grian-elvis-prestley

In the ocean @fishvis-presley @shark-presley @drowning-elvis @bioluminescent-fish-elvis, in the clink @jailhouse-md-rock

There are Elvii who love potions @wizard-presly @elvis-big-naturals

There's an Elvis who's a skink @lizard-elvis-official

Elvis rumor @deviouselvli, Elvis doomer @elvis-depressedley

Transgender Elvis is cool or @transfem-elvis @transmasc-elvis @eggvis-preggsley

choose a gender that you prefer @nonbinary-elvis @genderfluid-elvis @genderfluid-elvis-numba2

Elvis zoomer @gen-z-elvis Elvis humor @doctor-houlvis-official for sure

They will catalog the Elvii @elvis-resercher-official

They'll marry your mom @gayelvissupportivefather

No they'll never ever fuck you @offical-ace-elvis

But they will build you a bomb @j-elvis-oppenheimer @dynamite-elvis-offical

Put gold under a rainbow @leprechaun-elvis-official

Have ungodly rizz @pelvis-presley

Eliminate some Elvises @elvis-exterminator

Or kill those Jedi kids @elvakin-preswalker

Could I interest you in Elvises

All of the time?

Lots and lots of Elvises

All of the time

Elvis in a tragedy @macbelvis

And Elvis 99 @frelvis-durstley

Elvii in the Elvisverse

All of the time

my favorite line from Terry Pratchett is that humans are basically mobile bags of dirty water

Alright gays I’m doing a thing

and by that I mean a note game

1 note- haiiii you’re the first person

50 notes- I’ll try to be online less

75 notes- I’ll ask my dad for noise canceling headphones

100 notes- I’ll ask my mom if I can get more feminine clothes

500 notes- I’ll start trying to accommodate for my depression better

750 notes- I’ll come out to my friends (at least the ones who I care about)

1k notes- I’ll come out my oldest brother

2k notes- I’ll talk to my mom about my problems

3k notes- I’ll talk to my dad about them

4k- I’ll come out to my mom

5k notes- come out to my dad

Tags:

@wolfthedrolf @angelik-mori @lostshulkerbox @unfortunatelyshortpeasent @urfavlieyemede

“oh the-aftonsparv stop posting about wanting the kar98 rifle carnally” no. brunhilda. is. mine.

as someone who possesses no other social media it’s a little weird to see the tumble algorithms working in real time to start me done the Elvis rabbit hole

I keep comparing people to cats and I need to stop cause it feels uncomfortable and sexual to them but to me it's just like you are a silly animal that exhibits asshole behavior