Cyril Rolando  -  http://cyrilrolando.tumblr.com  -  https://www.facebook.com/Aquasixio  -  https://twitter.com/RolandoCyril

Here, have some thermo notes

🎧 vibin 2 by Ryan Celsius

7 April (Calc 4: happy exhaustion)

Today was rough, but I feel like I’m getting the hang of maximum and minimum values (thank you so much Lagrange).

I will say that I’m running into a bit of an existential crisis as far as my career is concerned. I feel like I really enjoy physics and am going to love making a job out of it, but this online learning environment is painful.

I want to actually do physics now that I have a better mathematical understanding, but at the same time I can only put forth so much effort in a class that has no social interaction. I can’t help but feel neglected considering I know how amazing my physics instructor is and knowing I’ll never officially have a “class” with him.

I’ve been struggling with my BPD as of late and it’s making me a bit more emotional than normal, but I’m taking strides to work through my issues.

A bit of positive news, I’m getting more comfortable on my skateboard, and am looking to land my first heelflip soon

You are strong

You are beautiful

You are powerful

Now go change the world

Stay up ✌🏿

🎧 The Watchtower - Sigimund

7 March (Linear Algebra notes and HW)

It was bright and sunny today, and while I didn’t get much studying done, I was still able to be productive.

I also want to note that being productive is more than taking notes and studying. If you’ve been studying like crazy, but neglecting your personal life, have you really gotten anything done? If you have, then as what expense?

Take time to enjoy yourself

Love y’all

Linear algebra study session ✔️

Physics “lab” ✔️

The beauty of mathematics

An assortment of computer models rendered employing variations of the Lorenz equation.

2 April (Calc 4 and Diff. Eq)

These classes are the embodiment of a toxic relationship (but in the best of ways). The overall course load is a lot and most days I am struggling to get done by 10pm, but I can confidently say I FEEL LIKE A MATHEMATICIAN.

The math I’m doing now has real world applications. Yeah finding the slope of a line is cool, but when you find the vector tangent to the curve that accurately depicts the heating or cooling of a particular environment per mile THAT’S ACTUALLY USEFUL, AND HELPFUL TO THE WORLD.

On one hand, I have late nights followed by early mornings, and a fair amount of stress.

On the other, I have an overwhelming sense of validation, pride, and comfort.

This post goes out to @juicycupz, she was hands down the best partner I’ve ever had. While we may not be together now, she definitely played a major role in who I am now.

Stay up ✌🏿

🎧 Trappin in paradise 65 - Smooth Sounds

dark academia on a budget

(because not only rich people can be dark academics)

-thrifting with friends for old sweaters that someone’s grandfather must have worn

-getting second (or third or fourth) hand books and reading the notes that other people left in them

-making sure everything is tidy and clean, no matter what

-adopting a minimalist aesthetic

-or making your own decorations (which then makes you better at lettering and art)

-sitting in a local cafe and buying the cheapest thing so that you can study there (and making sure that you tip as much as you can)

-reading poetry online, printing your favorites, and posting them on your walls

-taking as much of your family’s clothing that they’ll let you have

-rotating the same few shirts, pants, and shoes without anyone noticing

-a lack of jewelry (because there are more important things)

-sitting outside at a park to read or write

-looking outside windows on public transport while listening to somber music

9 April (The joy of being in STEM)

Today was not the best by any stretch of the imagination. I was fighting myself most of the day trying to get my HW done despite putting in good time to try and complete it, the topics just aren’t resonating.

I find myself once again dragging behind the rest of my peers despite studying just as hard as they do. Sadly, I couldn’t tell you the last time I actually had a weekend to myself, or a nice moment that wasn’t overshadowed by the crippling weight of school.

I wish there were more instructors who truly understood that different students have different needs.

Stay up✌🏿

🎧 Einaudi: Fox Tracks (Day 1) - Ludovico Einaudi

4 April (thoughts)

I never really took the time to explain what the big picture is, so I’m going to attempt to explain it here

I want to be a great dad. As cheesy as it might sound, I love the idea of being a positive father, and father-figure to those who need that person in their life. To this day my dad doesn’t claim me, and much as I love my mom, there are still some things that I would have looked for from him. I will be the change

I want to be a millionaire, and establish various forms of income that can be utilized after my journey on earth is complete. I have already began investing, and look to retire (read: not work as hard) around age 40.

I want to make the world a better place. The earth is OUR mother, and its OUR job to protect her. I have created an animal rights groups, organized adopt-a-highway’s, gone to and organized many protests (the March For Science being to this day the biggest protest I’ve ever helped create).

I want to own a RHD (right hand drive) Snow White FC-RX-7. I adored Initial-D growing up and Ryosuke’s was the first car I actually fell in love with. I was able to own one for a short while, but due to a lack of money, and time I was never actually able to complete the build. I try to play it off like it was no big deal, but that car really meant a lot to me, and it’s my goal to do it right.

I want to be an example of a great physicist, and a symbol of black excellence. I want to show that if I, a vegan, pan, non-binary person can get their Ph.D doing what they love DESPITE being homeless and abused, then you can too.

In case you need to hear this

1. You are loved

2. You are accepted no matter who you are

3. My inbox is always open

Stay up ✌🏿

🎧 my thoughts

found this gem of a... poem? in my notes app. enjoy.