"I Killed A Plant Once Because I Gave It Too Much Water. Lord, I Worry That Love Is Violence."

They say a picture of you is worth a Thousand words,

But looking at you my memory is Somewhat blurred

Watched my efforts end in vain like blood

Thought my memories of you would stick like glue

Scrolling through my gallery

Pictures of you once took they toll

But now my heart feels nothing

In the midst of our forgotten dialogues

I shed no tears for what remains

I'm always one to remember the good Times

Yet with you I remember nothing

They always teach of true love

Never of true heartbreak

So, like they say in the scriptures

Blessed are those,

who have never met you they shall never know the meaning of true heartbreak

2017.12.17

From Alana M. Kelley’s chapbook, In Orbit, available at https://bottlecap.press/products/orbit

You make the simplest things magnanimous.

A small acknowledgement from you

Feels like seeing my name written in the sky,

A smile from you,

is a salve for my wounded heart.

A minute spent with you

feels like a lifetime,

Even holding your hand

feels like having you in bed.

I wish you could feel

how you make me feel.

I wish you could experience

the volumes of ecstacy you give me

So you would know what a privilage it is

to be loved by you.

In my bed in my head in my heart

I walk down memory lane because

I love running into you

Rose tinted memories come flooding in

And I have you back for a few

Its hard to think

That not everything is cataclysmic

That the universe didn't plan for us

When all the pieces seemed to have fallen into place

Wrong person right timing?

Maybe next time around

When you're brought into my orbit

Ill have new moons and might finally know my place in this galaxy

But will our gravity be enough to make you stay

3 years ago I wasn't enough

3 hours ago I was too much

And what a shame

I had already imagined us

I dont know if I loved you, or the space you filled

In my bed, in my head, in my heart

And I can still see it

Concerts in your boxers and rooftop philosophies

I loved the thought of being with you

Or maybe it was the thought of not being on my own anymore

Alone

In my bed, in my head, in my heart

How do I ask the universe for anything other than you?

.

.

IMBIMHIMH 28/12/21

— Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

Just playing the cards I was dealt.  What else can you do?

It's silence I crave, it's why I swim

The weight of water

Over me

Around me-

The safe silence of submergence.

At the waters edge I may be ugly,

But underwater, we are made equal And

When I speak strokes

I Am Beautiful.

-Adaptation of my favourite book, the weight of water by Sarah Crossan

“I choose to love you in silence because in silence I find no rejection, and in silence no one owns you but me.”

— Rumi

To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself

Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering