— Franz Kafka, Letters To Milena

There is a boy who still writes to you; and thinks about you all the time. He does this because...well doesn't know how not to.

I want to love

https://iglovequotes.net/

From Alana M. Kelley’s chapbook, In Orbit, available at https://bottlecap.press/products/orbit

Baby, who has two phones?

Thinking of how writings and bathrooms have become my safe spaces, to the point where I can be around other people, and instead just go to a bathroom and just write, but it's also a balancing act, the act of trying not feel everything at once lest you break down...And how to actually allow your emotions to flow and let them not define you. It's an uncomfortable, comfortable safe space where I know this writing helps, but I don't would rather not feel anything, life is weird but true like that, we are all somewhat prisoners of some memory, or fear, or disappointment—we at certain points in our lives are all defined by something we cannot change

Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering

It's silence I crave, it's why I swim

The weight of water

Over me

Around me-

The safe silence of submergence.

At the waters edge I may be ugly,

But underwater, we are made equal And

When I speak strokes

I Am Beautiful.

-Adaptation of my favourite book, the weight of water by Sarah Crossan

Twenty seconds of courage that's all you need, twenty seconds

Playing for keeps

Thinking of how writings and bathrooms have become my safe spaces, to the point where I can be around other people, and instead just go to a bathroom and just write, but it's also a balancing act, the act of trying not feel everything at once lest you break down...And how to actually allow your emotions to flow and let them not define you. It's an uncomfortable, comfortable safe space where I know this writing helps, but I don't would rather not feel anything, life is weird but true like that, we are all somewhat prisoners of some memory, or fear, or disappointment—we at certain points in our lives are all defined by something we cannot change

They say a picture of you is worth a Thousand words,

But looking at you my memory is Somewhat blurred

Watched my efforts end in vain like blood

Thought my memories of you would stick like glue

Scrolling through my gallery

Pictures of you once took they toll

But now my heart feels nothing

In the midst of our forgotten dialogues

I shed no tears for what remains

I'm always one to remember the good Times

Yet with you I remember nothing

They always teach of true love

Never of true heartbreak

So, like they say in the scriptures

Blessed are those,

who have never met you they shall never know the meaning of true heartbreak

2017.12.17