Concept: Season Three Episode Eleven Of TOS Where Kirk And Spock Are Sped Up, But Mccoys Counteragent

Write it shitty, write it scared, write it without a clue but don't you be so spineless and have an AI write fanfic for you.

DEAD BOY DETECTIVES INCORRECT QUOTES!!! (ASSORTMENT) this show is everything to me. their dynamics. <3 bonus!!!

(credit to anyone i accidentally stole screenshots from and also the tumblr users pictured) <3

I really reallyyy wanna see Joe and Kit as Crowley and Aziraphale <3

well that was gayer than i expected

i was just innocently watching clips when this appeared. what. what on earth. what. excuse me. guys??? (full link under cut)

Never left

friend wrote this and im the proofreader so yk it's good fr

Take A Chance On Me (Revised) — Chapter 1 💋🥂

exclusive tumblr preview!! this fic has been on and off consuming my life for like 6 years now? so it means a lot to me. i would love any feedback anyone is willing to give. also, i plan on starting to post this on ao3 once i have a good chunk of the chapters written so i can be ahead, as well as work out some plot things. enjoy! story and tags under the cut!

Chapter One: A Favor

Chapter Notes: THE POSTING OF THE REVISION HAS BEGUN. enjoy, and remember i use he/they for PJ, and in this chapter, they/them for dan <3

-

Rain poured onto the concrete in a merciless downpour, hitting the glass windows of the coffee shop Phil was currently seated at.

Wet shoes squeaked against the tiles of the room, which Phil could only assume were PJ’s. He didn’t even need to look up to confirm—the person was sliding into the booth across from Phil, pulling his bag off of his shoulders and setting it down beside them.

"There you are,” Phil said.

PJ's voice was wheezy as he blurted out, "Sorry."

His eyes drifted from the trails of rain falling down his friend’s forehead, and instead to the watch on his wrist, tugging his sleeve back to look at it closer.

“It’s fine,” he said, “It’s not like I had to ask Marianne to fill in for a meeting or anything.”

“Shit,” PJ sighed, shaking his head at himself.

“You’re good. I wasn’t looking forward to going anyway, at least now I have a reasonable excuse,” Phil said passively, watching PJ suddenly lighten, bursting into a smile.

"Good, good, now I know I was late, so let's just get to the main thing I want to chat about," PJ said, "I need your help on a job decision."

"Let's hear it," Phil said, and tugged his sleeve back up, watching the waitress come by. They each ordered themselves a coffee and began to talk.

"So, I have been looking into a management position," PJ started to explain, "It will be at a new...hold on."

PJ magically pulled out a map of London from his bag, making Phil crease his eyebrows and tilt his head.

"There are two bars that are being merged together," he pointed out, "This one…”

“You’re wanting a new management position…at a bar.”

“I’m not done yet!” PJ cried defensively, eyes practically begging Phil to continue paying attention.

Trying to make sense of the map, Phil watched as PJ's fingers moved across the smooth paper. The streets twisted and turned mindlessly around, buildings aligning them in all different shapes and sizes.

"And this one. And a new club is going to be right...here," they made a circle with a pen.

"Right next to the station?" Phil asked, "Really?"

"Yeah," PJ replied, "It's a big building, and I guess something happened to whatever was there before. They say it will be much easier to visit, blah blah blah...I honestly think it might just be for tourist attraction."

Phil studied the map, "And the two older ones?"

"Probably being sold to be made into more new apartments no one can afford," PJ sighed, "Anyway, not the point."

A loud whip-like sound made Phil jump as he saw PJ place down another large piece of paper, which appeared to be blueprints.

"So these are the plans for the new club," PJ continued as they spread out the page, “It will be called...The Cat and Bear."

A waitress' red lips were pursed as she placed two mugs of coffee down onto the paper, PJ yelping and picking up coasters to put underneath them. She apologized awkwardly and walked away, but Phil thanked her, picking up his mug and sitting back against the booth.

"The Cat and Bear," Phil repeated, sipping his coffee, “That’ll stand out from every other ancient pub in London.”

"This is the entrance, right?" PJ asked to check if Phil was listening. Their fingers danced across the paper as they emphasized every detail. He uncapped a marker, labeling each part of the building with symbols and letters as they spoke, "Bathrooms are here, in the front, and there's some in the back...and then there's..."

"What is the actual job part, PJ?" Phil asked with a chuckle.

The sweet taste of coffee burned Phil's tongue as PJ looked up with his creativity shining through his captivating eyes, a look not unfamiliar to Phil in the slightest. He kept explaining a whole lot more, then asked, "Are you following?"

"Yeah, yeah," Phil said as he placed his mug down, "But what is the position you are looking for? And that huge empty area you haven't marked yet?"

PJ grew a smile from ear to ear.

"Stage production."

"Stage production," Phil repeated, his tone unsure. "There's going to be a job for stage production. At a bar."

"Not just a bar, a club...well, a burlesque—kind of—club," PJ corrected himself as more papers went flying across the table again, "Hear me out. They need someone to manage the production—backdrops, stage materials, lighting, music, and I'll kind of be like an agent to the performers."

"And who is it that will be performing?" Phil asked.

"Drag queens!" PJ yelled excitedly.

PJ and Phil looked around the diner to see a bunch of people staring at them.

"Drag queens," Phil said, sounding unamused.

"I'd get to manage all of the theater tech geek stuff," PJ explained, "And the queens. So, what do you think?"

Phil deeply sighed and widened his eyes, picking up his mug and taking a long sip.

"Your professional opinion," PJ requested.

Phil cleared his throat and said, "My professional opinion is no."

PJ took the first sip of their coffee, cringing at how the liquid had gotten cold from ignoring it.

"No?"

"No," Phil repeated, then shook his head, “Since it’s new, you can’t do any research on things like their profit history, turnover rates, company policies…the closest would be some Linkedin stalking of any execs or investors you know for sure are involved in this new business. You said they're merging, so there's probably going to be rivalry, and...no offense, but they're drag queens, so…”

Phil clenched his teeth and cringed, finding it hard to be brutally honest to his friend.

"I know it may be risky, but..." PJ reasoned, "I need to be creative, Phil! Feel like I’m in charge of something like you are! This nine to five office job isn't good enough anymore."

Phil rubbed his jaw as he spoke, "I wouldn't recommend it, Peej. How much money will you be making?"

"Not much, from the beginning..." PJ admitted, "But it'll get better, don't you think, Phil?"

"I dunno," he muttered.

PJ pouted, looking off as they said, "I really want to do more creative stuff. Something new and fun. Particularly audio and video...but managing actual performers will be cool too, like in the movies."

"Well, this is London, Peej," Phil chuckled, "Not Hollywood. I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you asked for my opinion, and I gave it to you."

"How much was this actually related to your career?"

"Not much."

"Okay, then why don't you do more of your career?" PJ asked, Phil looking offended for a second, "Sorry mate, not what I meant. I meant, do more of your thing...can you look into the business and economic part of it? Do some of your PR magic, see how good the people I'll be working with are?"

"Fine. I'll call some people, get some data, and let you know."

—

Both for PJ’s sake and because his company happened to be doing markedly well, Phil invested in The Cat and Bear, which nearly secured PJ for the position with little question of their qualifications. Other executives saw that he had a close connection to another successful company, and thus boosted his chances of being onboarded.

The club was due to be finished in the middle of summer, the project shortened by resources provided by Phil’s company. He’d maintained a more hands-off approach with the venture, trusting that PJ and/or any of his own employees would inform him of any issues. In May, PJ convinced Phil to visit The Cat and Bear to show him around.

From the outside, the club was completely finished, but once they entered, Phil could see where there was still room for improvement—many places lacked paint, flooring, and furniture. The sparse decorations made the interior look like a sad fixer-upper, but at least the bar, stage, dressing room, and bathrooms were built.

"Welcome...to The Cat and Bear," PJ said dramatically, opening the door for Phil to enter. Phil nodded, walking in and looking around as PJ followed behind him and asked, "Why are you all dressed up, mate?"

"I'm technically working," Phil explained, looking down at his clothing. He compared his business casual outfit to PJ's fully casual outfit, a graphic tee and colorful jacket, curious to ask, "Will this be okay?"

"Don't worry about it, you're just going to be the only dressed up one here," PJ told him. Right as he said so, Phil noticed the only people around them were construction workers, painters, and other people busy on their own tasks. They were installing lights, painting walls silver, pulling up old flooring—so much was going on at once.

PJ gave Phil a lengthy tour of the place, getting especially enthusiastic when showing him how the stage lights and curtains worked. He let him backstage to see the dressing room and where his office was, with cardboard boxes already on the desk.

"Sophie is supposed to come help me decorate soon," PJ told him, "This office, I mean, I'm not sure about the dressing room, but probably. She’s around here somewhere.”

"Have you met any of the queens yet?" Phil asked curiously.

PJ sighed awkwardly, "Uh, no, actually."

"Peej, you guys open super soon!"

"I know, but I kinda just picked the queens that were already planning on transferring here. Some of them moved closer to different clubs, on the other side of the city, or back home, I guess. It’s not the time to be picky, according to some other talent managers I’ve talked to," PJ said, "I've made a Facebook group and talked to a few, and that's about it."

Phil sat down on a chair in front of PJ's desk as they continued to talk, allowing him to ramble about his excitement for this new job and all of the ideas they had planned, until they heard a knock at the office door.

"Come in," PJ called out.

"Mr. Liguori?" the person called out in a silly tone—definitely Sophie. She peeked her head in the room, a pencil resting on her ear. “Oh, hi, Phil.”

“Hey, Sophie,” Phil greeted, then gestured toward PJ, “The ‘Mr. Liguori’ is here.”

PJ just laughed, “What’s up?”

"Um, the queens are here?" Sophie said matter-of-factly.

"Shit!” PJ seethed, looking at his watch, “It’s time already?!”

What a great manager PJ already was.

"That's no problem though, I'll go—um—come on, Phil," PJ said, “Looks like you won’t be the only dressed up one, then!”

Phil followed behind him into the open area right in front of the hallway. There stood a group of performers, and as they gossipped and chatted, Phil looked over the small crowd.

One of them specifically caught his eye. She—or Phil should probably correct himself to say they, because he truly didn’t know—were wearing a pretty, brunette wig, hair cascading down their shoulders.

From only a few moments of staring, Phil picked up on a warm, inviting energy they had. When they laughed with their friends, an adorable, deep dimple paired well with a bright smile, lighting up the room so effortlessly.

Phil hated that he was so far away from them.

PJ then clapped his hands together, looking around the room. It temporarily swayed his attention, but the underlying magnetic pull towards the brunette was hard to distract himself from.

One of PJ’s new employees, Phil reminded himself, so stop ogling at…the most beautiful one of the whole group? Yes, Phil confirmed with a darting of his eyes across the crowd, they definitely were.

"You all look absolutely stunning," PJ said, earning a bunch of claps, thank yous, and a couple shouts of "I know" that made him chuckle.

Phil had been so distracted that he hadn’t noticed Sophie and some other employees following behind them. He stepped off to the side to give PJ the floor, but more so to make it less obvious he was stealing glances at the brunette any chance he got.

"Hello, everyone. Forgive me, I lost track of time. I figured I should introduce myself. I'm PJ, the manager of stage production and talent. Most likely, I was the one you’ve been in contact with about working here. And this is Phil.”

Phil awkwardly waved. Some of the performers seemed to give genuine waves, while others gave more silly or sassy ones. The brunette had a bit of a smirk on their face, waving elegantly.

“His company has been our biggest supporter in the process of getting this club open. He is our biggest investor, so let’s make sure that we return the favor and work hard to give our thanks for all the resources he’s provided,” PJ said, and the performers clapped and waved at him.

“We'll still go ahead and take promotion photos for the website today, and I'll be creating us an Instagram page as well," PJ said, "Later on, I’d like to have a professional headshot session with everyone as well, so stay tuned for that, but this is mainly just to get media coverage for our opening weekend.”

The performers all nodded, continuing to give almost all of their attention to PJ. Phil’s attention, however, was fixed back on the brunette, who had joined in on the casual glances. They were wearing a mesh dress with long sleeves and an abstract pattern. Their friends were trying to whisper to them, but they continuously shrugged them off.

As he looked around at the group again, Phil realized that he was a bit envious of the confidence they exuded. After the effort of a drastic change, it was at a level he didn’t think he’d ever personally reached before.

It was reassuring that it was a safe space for everyone to feel like they could be as unique, queer, or weird as their heart desired, their appearances showcasing the most genuine aspects of themselves. But Phil felt out of place, intimidated by their larger-than-life personas.

Phil wasn't confident. Not really. He was clumsy and awkward, and he’d probably injure himself or someone else if he ever tried to walk in heels. Maybe he'd like makeup, but he had no idea where to start or how to steady his shaky hands. The queens did it all with such precision. His application would be messy and uncoordinated, it wouldn't look nice on him the way it did on them.

And it looked really nice on one in particular. Phil hoped his staring wasn’t obvious, but almost couldn’t help himself.

“Believe it or not, there are some places on the lot with good lighting for photos, and we brought some equipment, too. Sophie and I will be the photographers, while others can look out for minor tweaks. Alright, let’s get started!”

PJ took their camera from Sophie and arranged everyone in different places around the club, specifically the few completed areas. To Phil’s surprise, a few of the performers went up to shake his hand and thank him. Phil was able to reciprocate the greeting, but found himself in a daze. The performer he was interested in was one of the first to be photographed, which prevented him from greeting them. He could stare at them modeling all day, but to keep his composure, he tried to simply exist in the same room.

Phil awkwardly stood off to the side again, finding it easy for his mind to wander.

It seemed like PJ would be occupied for a while, and realistically, he didn’t have any reason to hang around. But if he could find a reason…

“Hey, Peej?” Phil asked, walking up to him as he was nicely directing an employee to move something out of the way. “Do you need me to help out with anything?”

“Oh, did you have anything at work you needed to attend to?”

“Not currently, no.”

“If you could get Soph and I coffees?” PJ said more quietly, mindlessly adjusting camera settings.

Of course it had to be something that required him to leave.

Awkwardly, Phil answered with, “Oh. Okay. Yeah, I can do that.”

“Other than that, I think we’re good. Thanks for coming by.”

He glanced at the one performer one more time before leaving to get their coffees.

i have an addition to this post but cannot for the LIFE of me find the original so im attaching photos here

a love letter to the terrible influence tour

i saw dan and phil a month ago today and that night was so incredibly special that i made a comic about it

this has been in my head for weeks

as a country lesbian:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

this shit is gonna be on my mind for weeks. thanks for making me want a girlfriend YET AGAIN ms. roan.

everybody say thank you chappell roan!

❤️🧡🤍🩷💜