Girl Help! The Popular Fanon Interpretation Of My Favorite Character Is Stupid As Fuck

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whenever I see Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood abbreviated as FMAB, i read it as Fullmetal assigned at birth

Imagine your blorbo fucked your dad. That’s the life susato lives

As far as I understand, people have been shipping Holmes and Watson for as long as the two characters have existed, even in ye olden times.

Which makes me wonder about the Great Ace Attorney series, where Sholmes and Wilson’s adventures are stories that Susato loves and follows religiously. And she probably shipped it. She probably had elaborate fantasies about it.

Then she meets Sholmes, and finds out that rather than John H. Wilson being the author of the stories, it’s a 10 year old Iris, and she probably feels very gross for interpreting it as romantic.

And then Susato sighs in relief when Iris reveals she’s been basing the stories off her father’s notes about his time living and solving cases with Sholmes. Her ship is saved! Maybe. There is still a very dead man named John H. Wilson, but they can’t confirm that’s the same one who solved mysteries with Sholmes.

And then Susato finds out there never was a Wilson. Iris misinterpreted someone else’s notes as being written by Wilson, who she believes to be her father, and instead it was Susato’s own father, Yujin, who was Sholmes’ partner the whole time.

So Susato discovers she’s actually been shipping Sholmes with her own father the whole time and is mortified.

(She still kinda ships it.)

normally it's frustrating when mystery games hand you answers on a silver plate but in ace attorney, the witnesses' tendencies to conveniently say far more than what they were asked for is so hilarious that it becomes its own reward. ace attorney witnesses will be asked what time they saw the murder and they'll say it was 10:40 and they know it was exactly that time because that's the exact minute they open the can of Fancy Feast to feed their elderly russian blue cat, father of 12 kittens and phoenix will be like umm actually i spoke to your cat and here's a written affidavit from him that there was a recall on Fancy Feast and also he's never been to russia nor known the touch of a woman. you're going to jail buddy

I’ll be discussing fandom things with friends and I can’t remember if something is a headcanon or actual canon

headcanons are so funny once they become ubiquitous in your brain. forgot that we didn’t all agree about that.

let’s make this happen

i had a dream that there was like a revival of the man vs bear debate but instead it was "would you rather be alone in a woman's bathroom with a random trans woman or jk rowling?" and everyone picked the trans woman and jkr crashed out on twitter because of it

hey guys laugh at my funny meme haha guys why aren’t you laughing help me hahahah please laugh i don’t want to die help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help

i need someone to make a le poisson steve edit but with the black cat from ghost trick

Have you ever looked at a 24 hour clock and gone "too straight forward!"? Ever looked at a 12 hour clock and thought "what if we divided it again?" WELL FEAR NOT, I am pioneering the 6 hour clock; featuring the classic times we all know and love like 3pm and 7am as well as all new times such as 6aam and 8ppm! The new clock layout that solves nothing and makes everything worse!

don’t expose me like that lol

Hello, I am going to analyze your psyche about what your favorite version of Narumitsu/Wrightworth says about you and give you personalized therapy advice (JOKE!! This is a lighthearted fun jest and I don't really think everybody falls in these categories. So we are all going to be polite to eachother ok!!)

Elementary school aged Nick and Miles: If this is your favorite ship, you're really into the nineties/y2k aesthetic and you miss going to blockbuster. Also you are feeling untethered and like the last time things made sense was when you were young. You want to imagine that if you could turn back time and do things differently, you could stay blissful and happy forever. But you have this creeping feeling that no matter what you do, time is going to keep passing and you will lose touch with people and think of things you wish you could've said but never had a chance to and this is just going to be an endless cycle for the rest of forever. Some of that is true, yes. The best you can do is be honest with the people you know now about how much you care about them so that they can hold that with them always, no matter what happens.

pre-AA1/Feenie x Bratworth: If this is your favorite ship you are in college or most likely high school. The idea that you could find someone in school and them end up being your soulmate for life is really tender and special to you (because you are in high school and you would like to be loved Right Now Please because facing the change of adulthood without someone who loves you by your side scares you). You also find it difficult to care about adults and their adult problems (because you are in highschool) and honestly? That's so valid. Enjoy your time not thinking about them bc one day it will be all you think about. I fear that if you put too much pressure on yourself about finding the perfect relationship, you will miss out on the ephemeral joy of being with another person. Please give yourself grace and try to live in the moment.

Ace Attorney main trilogy Phoenix and Edgeworth: if this is your favorite ship, Edgeworth is your favorite character and you are really invested in his character arc and want to see it tied up neatly with him letting someone into his life. You like your stories to end with "And they all lived happily ever after", because you like the thought that things happen for a reason, and that if you care enough and try hard enough you can fix things. You probably like to think this because your own life has difficulties and you want to escape them for a little while. Things really do get better, but there are some things you may never get closure on. I am sorry, I know it's hard and it hurts. I am sending you my love

Seven year gap beanix and umm glasses edgeworth? (what is his nickname?): Ok even though this is one time period this actually falls into two parties. People either like this because of Phoenix being a new father to Trucy OR they like it because of Nick and Kristoph's toxic situationship love triangle, which is so deeply funny bc these groups have totally different vibes. So let's split these up:

Dad Phoenix: Phoenix is your favorite character and you want to see him suffer so that he can be cared for by Edgeworth for once. You also like seeing Phoenix do his best to love and care for Trucy despite the circumstances even though he isn't a perfect dad. It means a lot to you to see someone fail and still be loved and deemed worthy by someone. Did you perhaps experience gifted kid burnout in school and feel like you let everyone around you down? Be kind to yourself and examine how capitalism has shaped our worldview so that a "valuable" member of society is someone who holds a job of a certain caliber and earns a certain amount of money. We cannot all be held to the same standards. Do what you are able to do in your situation. Maybe that is fight for people in court. Maybe that is make music or art. Maybe that is being there for people you love. The world needs all of these things, but every person does not need to do it all.

Situationship Phoenix: Phoenix is your favorite character and you think he is owed a little sexiness after being denied love by everyone else in his life. You also want to punish Edgeworth a little bit, like you definitely have some beef against Edgeworth (understandable, although I love him he is frequently annoying) and making him jealous feels like you're serving justice on Phoenix's behalf. You probably lie awake at night and think about the sick comebacks you wish you had said to people who were jerks to you in the past. This very emotionally driven form of serving justice to these characters means that you too would have gotten your badge taken away if you were an attorney. You should probably examine the way you hold grudges and how you treat people you believe have wronged you.

Apollo justice games era Phoenix and Edgeworth: Ok I haven't played all of apollo justice yet I can't tell if there are different eras within Apollo justice, but probably if you like to imagine Nick and Miles are actively dating/flirting during the events of the first Apollo Justice game, you are living in denial that the events of the 7 year gap happened and you are sticking your fingers in your ear and going LALALALA I can't hear youuuu. You also think dads are kind of hot. You probably dislike running errands alone and prefer to have a buddy go with you. You have a small group of friends that you are really close with and you are secretly terrified of the thought of them leaving you. Pain is inevitable, and you must learn to accept this, but know also that joy is just as inevitable. You are stronger than you think.

Post Apollo Justice Phoenix and Edgeworth: If this is your favorite ship, you want everyone to be able to rest. You want to wrap up all the lawyers and everyone they love in a big blanket and let them all take a cozy nap together. You want all the drama to be done so that they can move in together and raise a child together and propose to each other and plan a wedding and be very sweet and kind to each other. Despite your best efforts, I sense that the expected social norms of a nuclear family structure are influencing your life choices. This is not a bad thing, to want these things! But does hitting these life milestones feel genuinely good, or good because you are achieving a goal and gaining approval from others? Close your eyes and imagine moments where you have felt joy. Make a pact with yourself to try and seek out these things more, regardless of whether they are what society expects of you.