VOLTRON WOULDNT GIVE ME /AT LEAST/ ONE SEASON OF CLONE!SHIRO ANGST SO I GOTTA DO EVERYTHING MYSELF (electric

Máster Diseño Gráfico 2017-18. Diseño de folleto para bicicletas Stella (segunda parte). Proyecto de Esther Sepúlveda.

11.02.2020 - ben whishaw

He’s an interesting person, and uh, there’s some nice quotes - whether from Whishaw himself, or the article writer. https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2016/apr/03/ben-whishaw-damaged-sexuality-privacy-troubled-heroes-broadway-crucible-interview

he has made a speciality of the damaged, the doomed, the beautiful and damned 

call upon when they need someone to project an awesome emotional volatility and candour. Even when his face is seemingly at rest, you can see the thoughts and feelings flickering and flaring just under the surface. 

remarked on his “extraordinary sensitivity – sort of one skin less than most people around him”. 

It is fitting that he has played Keats because in his work he strives toward what Keats called “negative capability”, a comfort with human mystery and uncertainty. 

how individuals still use the veneer of religion to unleash incredible violence. “With the attacks that happened in Brussels, it’s like, what is a God that can sanction these barbaric things?” 

“I never really feel as if I know what I’m doing. I don’t feel any great sort of confidence in my ability,” he says. “But I’ve sort of reached the point where I think it’s OK. It’s OK not to know.”

“I don’t feel any need to go back and re-examine it,” he says. “Which is not to say that I felt like I did a good job or got anywhere near the bottom of it, because I don’t feel that, but I would never want to return to anything I’ve done.”

“I wonder if I’d find it that interesting,” he says. “I think I’d always need something that has a bit of, not necessarily suffering, but some resonance or that has a bigger pull. I don’t know. Something. Otherwise I think I’d be bored.” 

I don't think anyone can walk through the world in a state of vulnerability all the time, can they?

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/04/fashion/ben-whishaw-crucible.html

“I have a lot of fear,” Mr. Whishaw said. “All the time. But it’s important somehow to have fear and then to overcome it. I feel a bit like I’m always on an edge, where the fear might completely overwhelm me and I might not be able to do it. That’s not happened yet.”

“I’ve never come up with a good story about how it all started,” he reflects, shrugging his shoulders, not in the least bothered about giving his tale a good spin. 

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/9329054/Ben-Whishaw-on-his-new-role-as-Richard-II.html

“I don’t think anyone can walk through the world in a state of vulnerability all the time, can they? And as an actor, you do need to be quite… quite strong. I think it does take courage, in a way. After all, it’s a very revealing thing to do. Putting yourself in a position of being looked at. That’s one of the reasons why I find it very hard to watch myself on screen.” So, the vulnerability is all an act? “No,” he says eventually. “I wouldn’t say that… But you do use things about yourself as an actor, don’t you?” 

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/12/ben-whishaw-profile-mary-poppins-returns

Soon, Whishaw started landing bigger projects—and playing survivors instead of victims. Part of that can be attributed to age; at 38, the actor is only just starting to get some creases around his eyes, and a light dusting of pepper in his famously unruly dark coif. As he put it, “the kinds of stories people tell about people in their thirties and forties are different.” And though that handle-with-care quality still permeates everything Whishaw does, his characters on-screen are now more often men who should have been broken by circumstance, but nevertheless persisted

The air of the room hung heavy with smoke from the doctor’s cigarette. The draught kept us from opening the windows. It would have been silent—but my mother had protested when I tried to smash the cuckoo clock on the wall. So now, it wasn’t silent.

Selma looked dead. If I was anyone else, I’d say that she looked beautiful, even with the sunken cheeks and the skin-wrapped bones that passed for her limbs.

The doctor took his eyes off of her, and searched for the ashtray, which he was pleased to find was sitting nearby. After tapping his cigarette on it, he resumed smoking, lighting up a tiny little orange-red circle at the end of the cigarette.

“If you just want to pay your respects, we could invite you at the funeral,” I said. It was not meant kindly. I’d learned how to say things like that from my mother—how you can take a word and wrap a handkerchief around it, so that you can stab with it less conspicuously.

The doctor tapped off some more ash and sniffled. “No, I can heal her,” he said at last. He seemed tired, but that should not be surprising. It was nearly 9 pm, and there was no telling how long he had been working all day.

“Do you want to?” I asked.

The doctor took a deep breath, which resulted in more of a wheeze, and and nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “But I need the patient to co-operate with me.”

I looked at Selma, who looked dead, and I imagined her hand shaking. I imagined what her moan would sound like, as she came to. If she came to.

The doctor shook his head before I could say something mean to him.

“You called me here because you know me and what I do, right?” he asked. “Then you have to let me do my thing. Being impatient and passive aggressive won’t bring your wife back any faster.”

“What exactly is your thing?” I asked. “I only called you because I heard you were a doctor around these parts. We only moved in here last month.”

Now the doctor looked at me with eyes that looked at once endangered and curious. He loosed his tie a little. “Oh,” he said. “That explains a lot.”

After rubbing his eyes with two fingers, he sighed. “Look, I am in contact with your wife—telepathically. I can tune my mind into hers, and we’re trying to negotiate a healing. She isn’t co-operating, though, maybe because she’s not used to what I do. Now I understand why she’s being so resistant to her own treatment: your family is not from around here.”

I held up a hand. “What exactly do you do?” I asked. “What is the negotiation about? What are you talking about?”

The doctor chuckled, which shook his entire body. “Funny, you ask the same questions she does, and in the exact same way she does.” After composing himself some, he resumed. “I offer to heal your wife from his situation, and in exchange, she will pay me with some of her lifespan. That’s the best I can do.”

anger

I’m bad at dealing with anger and frustration. I guess there are people in my family who are much closer to being angry or mad or annoyed and acting on it. So I don’t have a chance to. Or I see how shitty it is when they are, and think of it as a bad thing.

And when I am mad, I don’t know how to express it. I just swallow it up and it kills enthusiasm, motivation, passion inside. I wish I could channel it in a better, more productive way. Like a big FUCK YOU!! to the naysayers and obstacles in my path. But in reality, the emotion just sits uncomfortably inside. I think in my teens I saw it as an easier option to overcome anger by turning it onto myself and blaming myself. So now it just makes me feel impossibly low. And angry at myself. If I were better I wouldn’t have a chance to be angry.

11.02.2020 - cluttered thoughts, reunion with yuka, etc.

So, I was cleaning up some shit in the garage, and decided it might be nice to keep a blog. Mostly for cluttering up the hoarded thoughts, mental baggage. And also, possibly for reflection and writing. It might be nice to do lit/learning reflection too, though I feel pretty removed from that sphere. Who knows. It’s very possible I’ll write a LOT tonight, then, not write again, for months.

I’m not sure what to say. Recently, I talked to Yuka over Google Hangouts for the first time in.. well, almost a year. Despite her falling under my ‘closest irl friends’ category. While it was mostly pretty darn heartwarming and just, pleasant.. at first, it was scary, and a bit awkward, and uh, especially when I tried to open up to her, and started being honest about my feelings of not feeling able to face her.

It’s kind of odd, to be honest, that I am pretty fucking in touch with my emotions - maybe too much, and I ruminate enough that it’s likely a little unhealthy, but I have trouble talking about or articulating that shit to other people. I talk about my feelings a lot but I’m not very open? I suppose in conversation, I substitute opinion with impressions/emotions, haha.

It makes sense to struggle with vulnerability though. Even writing out that word makes me cringe a little. Vulnerability. Oh, to be vulnerable, bare all, your weaknesses, flaws, self-hatred, worries, fears, anxieties, shame, and all. That’s not easy. Ok some things that came to mind: Ben Whishaw, Dealer (the band), that final memory scene in Eternal Sunshine, and dreams where all your subconscious, selfish desires come out.

I can’t tell if being vulnerable is a good thing or not, really. Would people read you as being weak and sensitive? Too uncomfortably open? Is that kind of person likeable? Or should one stick to that comfortable, surface level banter? I know it’s stupid asking those questions, like everything, it depends, it’s all about balance. I really think there’s something beautiful about vulnerability, but actually *being* that, w-wew.

To be honest, I shy away from DnMs. I don’t know how to talk that stuff out. And can anything be solved? I guess it’s about trust, and having someone you CAN open up to. I always much preferred listening to people about their problems and empathising, than talking about my own. Yuka said I ‘bottle things up’, and I really do, until it bursts out (with tragic consequences, far too late) or slowly slowly sinks me.

Where did this come from, this secretiveness? I think it comes from fear of consequences, ultimately. If I act, there will be consequences. If I speak out, voice, express, things might not result in something better. :’ ) Threat of punishment, being ignored, already being a negative presence (outsider, poor, stinky), probably compounded that. And even now, it’s much the same, I don’t like to stand out or speak up, and it’s self sabotage, essentially.

[…] it only takes two facing mirrors to construct a labyrinth.

Jorge Luis Borges, Nightmares; Seven Nights (tr. by Eliot Weinberger), 1977 (via megairea)

This goes along with my last post as an exercise that can be one from observation. 

The steps explained briefly:

A. Draw in the big proportions with few lines. B. Draw in the basic shadow shapes, keeping the structure of the head in mind at all times. C. Establish big tonal relationships in the image. D. Bring in halftones to describe forms turning. E. Some extra information in the shadow. F. Modify edges throughout the picture.

A quick word on edges:

Edges and their variations are integral to creating a visual impression of the experience of seeing the world. The eye sees selectively and doesn’t observe everything around us with equal clarity. Edges in painting are not only the boundaries of one form, object or surface material to another, they occur on every side of every tonal shape. Like with tone, there is a range of edges to choose from, going from a total blur to razor sharp. Decisions must be made on the relative ‘softness’ or ‘hardness’ of these transitions to achieve a desired result. When working from observation, most of the answers can be found by observing and especially squinting at your subject. However in many cases it is appropriate to soften or harden an edge based on personal taste and compositional design choices.

Do you listen to classical music/Piano/Instrumental? If yes can you suggest me some?🤍

classical music is my whole life. my highest highs, my lowest lows, everything in-between. a few of my favorites, categorized by mood:

music that wrecks me:

tomaso antonio vitali: chaconne in g minor

ludwig van beethoven: string quartet no. 15 in a minor

arvo pärt: cantus in memory of benjamin britten / spiegel im spiegel

gregorio allegri: miserere mei, deus

frédéric chopin: nocturne in g minor / prelude in d-flat major

ludwig van beethoven: symphony no. 3, mvt ii

j.s. bach: toccata and fugue in d minor: ii. fugue

johannes brahms: ein deutsches requiem: ii

music that brings me back:

ludwig van beethoven: moonlight sonata: iii. presto agitato 

henri vieuxtemps: violin concerto no. 5 in a minor: iii. allegro con fuoco

antonio vivaldi: violin concerto in e minor

j.s. bach: harpsichord concerto in d minor / piano concerto in a minor: iii

ludwig van beethoven: symphony no. 7: ii. allegretto

camille saint-saëns: introduction and rondo capriccioso

niccolò paganini: violin concerto no. 2 in b minor: iii. “la campanella”

franz schubert: quartet no. 14 in d minor (“death and the maiden”)

edvard grieg: piano concerto in a minor, op. 16

pyotr ilyich tchaikovsky: the nutcracker: scene xiv - pas de deux

music that makes me yearn:

w.a. mozart: piano concerto no. 21 in c major, k. 461: ii. andante

ludwig van beethoven: piano concerto no. 5 in e-flat major, op. 73: ii. adagio / sonata “pathetique” op. 13: ii. adagio cantabile

g.f. handel: sarabande in d minor, hwv 437

j.s. bach: adagio from concerto no. 3 in d minor

ludwig van beethoven: piano concerto no. 3 in c minor, op. 37: ii. largo

erik satie: gnossiennes

claude debussy: suite bergamesque, clair de lune, no. 3

franz liszt: liebestraum no. 3, notturno

gabriel fauré: après un rêve

frédéric chopin: nocturne in c-sharp minor / nocturne in b-flat minor

w.a. mozart: piano concerto no. 23: ii. adagio

franz schubert: 4 impromptus, op. 90, d. 899: no. 3 in g-flat: andante

christoph willibald von gluck: dance of the blessed spirits, orfeo ed euridice

music that feels like a dark fairy-tale:

béla bartók: romanian folk dances, sz. 56 - iii. 

claude debussy: children’s corner, l. 113: iv. the snow is dancing

hildur guðnadóttir: leyfðu ijósinu 

christoph willibald von gluck: melodie, orfeo ed euridice

gabriel fauré: pavane op. 50

jean-philippe rameau: le rappel des oiseaux

camille saint-saëns: le carnaval des animaux: aquarium

jean sibelius: nocturne op. 51, no. 3

heinrich wilhelm ernst: grand caprice on schubert’s der erlkönig, op. 26 

pyotr ilyich tchaikovsky: swan lake (suite), op. 20: i. scene (swan theme)

franz schubert: schwanengesang: ständchen, d. 957

music that reminds me of dusty practice rooms, quiet cobblestone streets after the opera, and resonant cathedral bells:

w.a. mozart: piano sonata in c-major, k. 545: ii. adagio 

w.a. mozart: piano sonata no. 11, k. 331: i. theme (andante grazioso)

ludwig van beethoven: piano sonata in g-major, op. 49, no. 2

franz schubert: impromptu op. 142, d.935: no. 3 in b-flat, var 3

w.a. mozart: deh vieni non tardar, le nozze di figaro

j.s. bach: invention 1 / invention 6 / goldberg variations

stephen heller: 30 études mélodiques et progressives: op. 46, no. 8

j.b. cramer: 60 selected studies: étude no. 10

arcangelo corelli: concerto grosso in g minor: ii. allegro

some devastatingly beautiful soundtracks and instrumental pieces:

sufjan stevens: untitled (all delighted people side d - ep) 

ólafur arnalds: improvisations /  loftið verður skyndilega kalt / erla’s waltz 

hildur guðnadóttir: strokur / torrek / Þoka / elevation 

keaton henson: romantic works / la naissance

coeur de pirate: pilgrims on a long journey / leave your castle

dario marianelli: atonement / pride and prejudice

abel korzeniowski: evgeni’s waltz / come, gentle night

yann tiersen: comptine d’un autre été, l’après-midi 

and some vocal shout-outs:

g.b. pergolesi: stabat mater

j.s. bach: quia respexit, magnificat in d major

a. scarlatti: mentro io godo, il giardino di rose

g.f. handel: ombra mai fu, serse

gaetano donizetti: il dolce suono, lucia di lammermoor

vincenzo bellini: casta diva, norma

w.a. mozart: requiem in d minor

I build fights like I build conversations and dialogue, if one person does something, how is the other going to react?

Yo, do you have any tips on writing fight/action scenes? Yours are really good so I thought I'd ask someone who seems like they know what they're doing lol

oh thankee!!

I’m not sure what to say exactly, I usually just use my instincts or research I’ve done previously. The best thing I can say is to know your character’s ability levels when it comes to fighting or combat. If a character is a good fighter, they might end a fight easily with a few movements. If they’re up against a fight that’s as good as them, then it might be longer.

Do some research into different types of fights, I took a class last year on self-defense, and as a result, I watched a bit of fight choreography, and did some myself. A gun fight is gonna end differently than say, a fist fight. Research is your best friend for this!

Describe the actions in detail, make sure to add both actions and reactions, if your character does something, say, throw a punch, (your action), then the person they’re fighting is going to do something, (reaction). I build fights like I build conversations and dialogue, if one person does something, how is the other going to react? This is where you can thread in skill level. If a character isn’t well versed in fighting, their action might be to throw a punch, but the punch might be weak, and therefore the reaction would be to either catch or block the punch. Other details that are important are the characters own reactions to the fight. If they throw a punch, are they prepared for their knuckles getting hurt? If they get hit, can they handle both the pain and the shock? Is their adrenaline pumping because they’re afraid or are they calm and cool? Research into how certain things feel, (like where you can get hit with a knife and not completely bleed out), can also be good.

Figure out how you want the fight to end before it begins. If you want your character getting out without a scratch, then they should reflect that in their fight. If they get hurt, show that too! 

hope this helps!