Do You Listen To Classical Music/Piano/Instrumental? If Yes Can You Suggest Me Some?🤍

[…] it only takes two facing mirrors to construct a labyrinth.

Jorge Luis Borges, Nightmares; Seven Nights (tr. by Eliot Weinberger), 1977 (via megairea)

11.02.2020 - ben whishaw

He’s an interesting person, and uh, there’s some nice quotes - whether from Whishaw himself, or the article writer. https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2016/apr/03/ben-whishaw-damaged-sexuality-privacy-troubled-heroes-broadway-crucible-interview

he has made a speciality of the damaged, the doomed, the beautiful and damned 

call upon when they need someone to project an awesome emotional volatility and candour. Even when his face is seemingly at rest, you can see the thoughts and feelings flickering and flaring just under the surface. 

remarked on his “extraordinary sensitivity – sort of one skin less than most people around him”. 

It is fitting that he has played Keats because in his work he strives toward what Keats called “negative capability”, a comfort with human mystery and uncertainty. 

how individuals still use the veneer of religion to unleash incredible violence. “With the attacks that happened in Brussels, it’s like, what is a God that can sanction these barbaric things?” 

“I never really feel as if I know what I’m doing. I don’t feel any great sort of confidence in my ability,” he says. “But I’ve sort of reached the point where I think it’s OK. It’s OK not to know.”

“I don’t feel any need to go back and re-examine it,” he says. “Which is not to say that I felt like I did a good job or got anywhere near the bottom of it, because I don’t feel that, but I would never want to return to anything I’ve done.”

“I wonder if I’d find it that interesting,” he says. “I think I’d always need something that has a bit of, not necessarily suffering, but some resonance or that has a bigger pull. I don’t know. Something. Otherwise I think I’d be bored.” 

I don't think anyone can walk through the world in a state of vulnerability all the time, can they?

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/04/fashion/ben-whishaw-crucible.html

“I have a lot of fear,” Mr. Whishaw said. “All the time. But it’s important somehow to have fear and then to overcome it. I feel a bit like I’m always on an edge, where the fear might completely overwhelm me and I might not be able to do it. That’s not happened yet.”

“I’ve never come up with a good story about how it all started,” he reflects, shrugging his shoulders, not in the least bothered about giving his tale a good spin. 

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/9329054/Ben-Whishaw-on-his-new-role-as-Richard-II.html

“I don’t think anyone can walk through the world in a state of vulnerability all the time, can they? And as an actor, you do need to be quite… quite strong. I think it does take courage, in a way. After all, it’s a very revealing thing to do. Putting yourself in a position of being looked at. That’s one of the reasons why I find it very hard to watch myself on screen.” So, the vulnerability is all an act? “No,” he says eventually. “I wouldn’t say that… But you do use things about yourself as an actor, don’t you?” 

https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/12/ben-whishaw-profile-mary-poppins-returns

Soon, Whishaw started landing bigger projects—and playing survivors instead of victims. Part of that can be attributed to age; at 38, the actor is only just starting to get some creases around his eyes, and a light dusting of pepper in his famously unruly dark coif. As he put it, “the kinds of stories people tell about people in their thirties and forties are different.” And though that handle-with-care quality still permeates everything Whishaw does, his characters on-screen are now more often men who should have been broken by circumstance, but nevertheless persisted

Máster Diseño Gráfico 2017-18. Diseño de folleto para bicicletas Stella (segunda parte). Proyecto de Esther Sepúlveda.

This goes along with my last post as an exercise that can be one from observation. 

The steps explained briefly:

A. Draw in the big proportions with few lines. B. Draw in the basic shadow shapes, keeping the structure of the head in mind at all times. C. Establish big tonal relationships in the image. D. Bring in halftones to describe forms turning. E. Some extra information in the shadow. F. Modify edges throughout the picture.

A quick word on edges:

Edges and their variations are integral to creating a visual impression of the experience of seeing the world. The eye sees selectively and doesn’t observe everything around us with equal clarity. Edges in painting are not only the boundaries of one form, object or surface material to another, they occur on every side of every tonal shape. Like with tone, there is a range of edges to choose from, going from a total blur to razor sharp. Decisions must be made on the relative ‘softness’ or ‘hardness’ of these transitions to achieve a desired result. When working from observation, most of the answers can be found by observing and especially squinting at your subject. However in many cases it is appropriate to soften or harden an edge based on personal taste and compositional design choices.

dad thoughts (repurposing twitter)

new life plans, nursing career path

Alright. So, I’m going back to school. I graduated highschool 6 years ago, and here I am, about to start TAFE. A Diploma of Nursing, to be specific, and most likely at Chisholm. But hey, free TAFE which is great.

One big thing though, is that I’ll absolutely have to stick with it, whatever I do.

Also man, I gotta budget for a laptop and other shit. To get my shit together.

11.02.2020 - cluttered thoughts, reunion with yuka, etc.

So, I was cleaning up some shit in the garage, and decided it might be nice to keep a blog. Mostly for cluttering up the hoarded thoughts, mental baggage. And also, possibly for reflection and writing. It might be nice to do lit/learning reflection too, though I feel pretty removed from that sphere. Who knows. It’s very possible I’ll write a LOT tonight, then, not write again, for months.

I’m not sure what to say. Recently, I talked to Yuka over Google Hangouts for the first time in.. well, almost a year. Despite her falling under my ‘closest irl friends’ category. While it was mostly pretty darn heartwarming and just, pleasant.. at first, it was scary, and a bit awkward, and uh, especially when I tried to open up to her, and started being honest about my feelings of not feeling able to face her.

It’s kind of odd, to be honest, that I am pretty fucking in touch with my emotions - maybe too much, and I ruminate enough that it’s likely a little unhealthy, but I have trouble talking about or articulating that shit to other people. I talk about my feelings a lot but I’m not very open? I suppose in conversation, I substitute opinion with impressions/emotions, haha.

It makes sense to struggle with vulnerability though. Even writing out that word makes me cringe a little. Vulnerability. Oh, to be vulnerable, bare all, your weaknesses, flaws, self-hatred, worries, fears, anxieties, shame, and all. That’s not easy. Ok some things that came to mind: Ben Whishaw, Dealer (the band), that final memory scene in Eternal Sunshine, and dreams where all your subconscious, selfish desires come out.

I can’t tell if being vulnerable is a good thing or not, really. Would people read you as being weak and sensitive? Too uncomfortably open? Is that kind of person likeable? Or should one stick to that comfortable, surface level banter? I know it’s stupid asking those questions, like everything, it depends, it’s all about balance. I really think there’s something beautiful about vulnerability, but actually *being* that, w-wew.

To be honest, I shy away from DnMs. I don’t know how to talk that stuff out. And can anything be solved? I guess it’s about trust, and having someone you CAN open up to. I always much preferred listening to people about their problems and empathising, than talking about my own. Yuka said I ‘bottle things up’, and I really do, until it bursts out (with tragic consequences, far too late) or slowly slowly sinks me.

Where did this come from, this secretiveness? I think it comes from fear of consequences, ultimately. If I act, there will be consequences. If I speak out, voice, express, things might not result in something better. :’ ) Threat of punishment, being ignored, already being a negative presence (outsider, poor, stinky), probably compounded that. And even now, it’s much the same, I don’t like to stand out or speak up, and it’s self sabotage, essentially.

Any advice on artists who want to consider making comics? Or general advice on how you do expressions and canvas composition?

All of my advice is trash because I’m still SUPER inexperienced in the comics making department but general comic making tips:

• Read lots of comics. Watch lots of movies. Read lots of stories.

• Have an idea of where you’re going with your story before you get into the heavy duty work of making the comic. Trust me. You’ll be glad you had a direction to go in, instead of wasting your entire pilot episode like I did.

• TRY to keep the cast small and give good character introductions before adding new characters. (I didn’t do this. My story has suffered for it.)

• Make ref sheets for your characters. Bare minimum, if you don’t want to draw new sheets entirely, compile a collage of all the existing images you already use as ref for each character.

• Save your color palettes for each character.

• Draw your KEY panels first. Filler can be done last. Working linearly might cause your art to deteriorate as the page/episode progresses, so get those bigger impact panels done first, and smaller/less impactful panels done last.

Expressions?

• Mirror. Selfies. Etc. When idk how an open mouth looks from a certain angle, I’ll use my own face as reference. It’s fool proof.

• Use OBSCENE amounts of reference. YouTubers. Actors in movies. Etc.

• Appreciate the Art of Subtlety. Not every expression has to be big, dynamic, and bold. Practice working in both extremes. Soft, gentle expressions can be just as good storytellers as bold, extreme expressions.

Canvas composition?

• WOOF IDK IM STILL SUPER BAD AT THIS LOL

anger

I’m bad at dealing with anger and frustration. I guess there are people in my family who are much closer to being angry or mad or annoyed and acting on it. So I don’t have a chance to. Or I see how shitty it is when they are, and think of it as a bad thing.

And when I am mad, I don’t know how to express it. I just swallow it up and it kills enthusiasm, motivation, passion inside. I wish I could channel it in a better, more productive way. Like a big FUCK YOU!! to the naysayers and obstacles in my path. But in reality, the emotion just sits uncomfortably inside. I think in my teens I saw it as an easier option to overcome anger by turning it onto myself and blaming myself. So now it just makes me feel impossibly low. And angry at myself. If I were better I wouldn’t have a chance to be angry.