Flower Curse | 6

i just read the entirety of reiss mental asylum and i'm in love skfhtuebfo

im so happy to read this!! 😭😭 i've been receiving a lot of kind comments, but sometimes i can't stop myself from thinking the story is boring and flat...💦💦 but reading your comment really makes me happy. thank you for reading! and very sorry for the wait- life has been pretty upsetting lately, but i hope i can get my ass to write soon! i have a lot of ideas for it. c: 🌻 stay tuned—!🌻💕

this is the best timeline

no thoughts, just the aot sanrio collab

E m p t y / 5

[ shingeki no kyojin x male reader ]

【 male!various x male!amnesiac!reader 】

[Name], an amnesiac boy awakes in a unknown place -- trying to remember anything makes him have horrible headaches.

Who is he? And why he can't remember his own face?

Masterlist

chapter five — new memories [1.3]

━━━━━━✧♛✧━━━━━━

It was one of their usual tasks— bring wood and herbs for Mr. Jaeger. It was a job for Eren and [Name], as Mikasa helped Miss Carla and Beatrice with pastries and baking bread in [Name]’s mom house. Everyone was pleased how nice the relationship between Eren and [Name] turned out— no more fighting but the occasional comments [Name] had to say to stop Eren’s angerish behavior. Surprisingly, they actually could notice how the brunette liked his company, and always wanted to stay at his side. The two women could notice when Eren was being scolded by [Name], he just blushed and averted his face, as if he was embarrassed of his actions.

It was somehow irritating for [Name]. As you could tell, he wasn’t fond of Eren’s voice— it was loud and annoying. He preferred staying with Mikasa or Armin, as their voices were less noisy than Eren’s. Obviously, this was an unusual conflict within the two: [Name] being vocal about his annoyance, and Eren being angry about it.

Eren liked [Name]— it was a fact. Carla and Beatrice could see that so clearly, even if the brunette tried to deny it so desperately. It was a huge change from their beginning— it was actually strange how Eren’s behavior changed when [Name] scolded him, but when Mikasa did it he angered. As Beatrice believed, [Name] was unaware of Eren’s feelings and didn't pay much attention to him. He too denied Eren felt something for him, and just was being the usual ‘hot-head’ he was.

But their differences weren’t always present— they genuinely liked each other and were good friends. [Name] didn’t hate or disliked Eren but the opposite: the amnesiac boy admired how strong and determined he was. It was just his loud voice that made his ears suffer. Nevertheless, [Name] sometimes tried to bear with it and spent time with Eren, and the brunette tried his best to not be ‘noisy’.

But back to the present— Fortunately, Dr. Grisha didn’t say when he wanted the herbs, and neither he looked impatient or urged for them. The two boys decided to rest a little bit in the small woods, the air was fresh and it was surprisingly relaxing there, as no one but them were there. The two carefully placed the bottles full of herbs on the grass before lying on the ground, looking at the sky. [Name]’s eyes sheepishly looked at the clouds, while Eren eyed him, he being unaware of it.

“Say, [Name]...” Eren spoke to get his attention, in which the other hummed in response, “do you think... we could see the ocean together one day...?” He asked with a blush on his face, looking at the other side to hide his embarrassment.

[Name] blinked, still not looking at him. “What’s with the sudden question? The four of us promised we would.” [Name] felt relaxed, blinking slowly. Letting out a yawn, he rubs his eyes, shifting to a more comfortable pose to sleep, not paying much attention on what the other has to say.

“That’s not what I mean...” Eren frowns, unaware of [Name]’s sudden tiredness. “I mean that... maybe we could...” he blushed deeply, unable to explain his feelings. He’s not good at feelings, and when he had never felt something like this before, this is hard for him. Even more when the one you have interest on doesn’t even likes you that much. “I want to see it with you... right at my side.” His whole face is painted in red— he plays nervously with his hands.

The lack of response made Eren impatient. Looking at the side, he noticed [Name] had fallen asleep by the low snoring that could be heard. At first, the brunette felt irritated and angry— as usual, [Name] wasn't paying attention to him. He even tried to not be so loud, and [Name] didn't even care about it! He didn't want to accept the small glint of jealously he felt when the [color haired] boy preferred to be with Mikasa or Armin, but him! Annoyed, the boy crossed his arm and averted seeing the sleeping boy, pouting.

Sighing, the boy lies on the grass, watching the sky. “I’m not that loud...” he speaks to himself, turning to see [Name] with narrowed eyes. The boy lies peacefully, his chest slowly moving up and down as he breathes, both hands tangled over his stomach. Why did he liked [Name] that much? At first he couldn’t stand him— but seeing him... hurting the way he was before, it made him feel... upset and dirty. His guilt was a major factor of his change, and somehow, interacting more with [Name] and knowing him more and more made him interested and curious on him.

He likes him, that’s the truth.

Sitting, the brunette gets closer to [Name]’s form, looking at his face, focusing on him. Eren can’t help himself and slowly leans forward [Name]’s face, Eren’s own heartbeat raising. Gulping, he closes his eyes, hands shaking by his nervousness. He gently kisses the soft lips, deep crimson painting his cheeks. Eren feels... joy as he answers his curiosity, but soon he becomes worried and scared as he feels [Name]’s body shifting. Immediately the brunette breaks the small kiss, almost falling on his back by he sudden separation. He covers his mouth with his hands as he nervously looks at the [hair color] haired blinking sheepishly, looking around and spotting him besides him.

“Eren...? Did I fall asleep...?” [Name] asks as he rubs his eyes, yawning. Stretching, he notices Eren’s quiet and unusual behavior. “Is something wrong...?”

“Uhm— No! E–Everything’s fine! We should get going.” Eren hastily speaks as he gets up and takes the wood and bottles, signaling [Name] to hurry up too. The amnesiac boy blinks confused, but soon stretches and gets up too. He takes the herbs and the wood on his back and waits for Eren to begin walking. Surprisingly, Eren takes his hand wihout warning.

“E–Everything ready?” Eren gulps as he speaks, looking at [Name] with a blush on his cheeks. He pleads in his mind for [Name] not to reject him— to stay like this just for this moment. His heartbeat raising as he sees the amnesiac boy blinking, not giving his thoughts away— Eren has always watched how expressionless [Name] can be. The brunette holds his breath until [Name] answers.

“Yes. Let’s go.” [Name] nods while speaking, walking ahead hand in hand with Eren. By Eren’s surprise, the [hair color] haired boy tangles his fingers with Eren’s, making the brunette’s heart skip a beat. [Name]’s face is the same— serene and calm, while Eren’s is a messy crimson.

They met Hannes in the way back, and the blonde soldier can catch how red Eren is. He couldn’t stop himself from laughing at the unusual scene of them being like this— gaining a ‘what are you laughing at?!’ from Eren, and another scolding from [Name], ‘don’t yell like that.’ making the brunette shut his mouth immediately. Hannes was actually impressed by such interaction— not even Carla nor Mikasa were capable of holding this little ball of anger from acting recklessly.

The walk between the two was unexpectedly calm, as both of them talked about what they will have for dinner. Eren’s face had a big grin, happy by how things turned out.

Reiss Mental Asylum / 5

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. masterlist

5

“Sir! Good morning!” [Name] greeted, surprised to see Erwin. It looked like the blond was waiting for him, instead of Zeke.

“Good morning, [Name]. Nice to see you again.” The blond replies, slightly smiling. “Dr. Jaeger will not accompany you today, I will— just to see. Hope you are alright with that.” Erwin remembers the conversation he had with Zeke— he could see the irritation coming from the doctor, and the blond couldn’t suppress a smirk.

I can’t believe even you are like this. Just how many will get in my way, Erwin?

“Of course, sir.” [Name] blinked, “so you will see my sessions for today?”

“Indeed. It’s just for some precaution, [Name], so don’t stress about it.” Erwin smiles, “also, call me Erwin.” The blond gesture him to follow him, which [Name] quickly do. They began to walk, heading upstairs.

“Alright, Erwin.” The young assistant gently says, and Erwin can feel something on his lower area by just hearing his name coming from the other’s mouth.

Clearing his throat, the blond speaks, “did Dr. Zeke told you anything about Bertolt Hoover?”

“He gave me his file yesterday, so I think I’m prepared…” [Name] couldn’t help but being upset by recalling the patient’s backstory, and Erwin instantly noticed his change of demeanor.

“What’s troubling you?”

“It’s just… sad reading what he was force to do. It’s not fair.” He sighs, before looking motivated all of sudden, “I will do everything in my power to help him, Erwin! All of them!”

Erwin looked surprised for a second, eventually slightly smiling by the other’s words. The blond was strangely fascinated by him— Erwin couldn’t help himself to watch every footage from the security cameras where the young male was in. Eventually, Erwin could see the looks Zeke sent to [Name] when he wasn’t looking, confirming Erwin’s suspicions.

Unfortunately for Zeke, Erwin didn’t have any intention to back off.

“I’m glad you are committed for this, [Name].”

。。。。。。。。。

Bertolt Hoover. His mental state seems fine most of the time, unfortunately, his stress level get high, causing panick attacks that make him change to his older self.

Background: He, along with Reiner Braun, was a member of a cult which did horrendous crimes against a certain race. Bertolt’s family was under death threats, forcing him to do all kind of acts. Murder, torture, along other violent things. These acts affected his mental health— he sometimes gets caught on his older self, calling the doctors and nurses ‘devils’. Even if he repents the crimes he committed most of the time, sometimes Bertolt snaps under stress, when a nurse has to give him pills or injections.

“Hello?” [Name] gently greeted, spotting the taller boy, sitting quietly. The assistant instantly smiles, sitting down. He introduced himself, as usual. “May I know your name?”

The taller male sweats, cheeks blushed. “B-Bertolt…”

[Name] brightly smiles, making Bertolt’s heart skip a beat. The brunette can’t help himself but to avert the other’s gaze, feeling embarrassed. The assistant doesn’t catch this, and worries himself by Bertolt’s reaction.

“Am I making you uncomfortable, Bertolt?” [Name] tilts his head, trying to catch the taller’s male attention.

“N-Not at all!” The brunette reassures, meeting [Name]’s gaze.  "I-It’s just… I’m not good at talking.“

The young assistant chuckles, "Don’t worry about it, Bertolt! I’m sure both of us will connect easily!” [Name] fondly looks at him, “I will talk a little about me, maybe you can do it when I finish?” Bertolt only nodded, surprised by the look he received. [Name] shortly after began to talk about himself, things the brunette couldn’t pay any attention to.

The gentle look of [Name] was freshly stuck in Bertolt’s mind, He didn’t know when was the last time a look like that was meant for him— it has been years since he felt something warm on his chest. Something that made him feel good; and even if it was something as small as a look —that the doctors and nurses never gave him—, Bertolt couldn’t stop tears from coming, alerting [Name].

“Oh my! Why are you crying? Was it something I said?”  [Name] worriedly asked.

The taller male just shacked his head, unable to say anything. [Name] gently took his hand, which was bigger than his, and began to caressing it. “I’m here with you, Bertolt.” The comment only made the brunette cry harder, silently sobbing. [Name] got up and approached Bertolt, and dried his tears with his thumb. “It’s alright…”

That was what Bertolt needed before, and what he needed now. He wanted someone comforting him— not seeing him as a monster. When was the last time he was embraced? comforted? The brunette couldn’t stop himself and tightly hugged [Name], taking him by surprise. Hiding his face on the crook of the assistant’s neck, [Name] was stuck in a uncomfortable position. Bertolt was still sitting, arms around the other’s waist. And so when he was being hold by the other, [Name] was awkwardly sitting on his lap.

Bertolt saw the assistant as the only light on his darkness— even if only a look made him sob and cry, the taller male didn’t ever want to let him go. This person was the only one after all this time that made him warm, and he wouldn’t lose him for anything. Even if he had to kill every devil on this planet, to stay like this, then so will he.

[Name]’s neck was wet by Bertolt’s tears, not that he minded. The assistant softly caressed his hair with a sad expression plastered on his face. The [hair color]-haired male was heartbroken by seeing Bertolt like this— [Name] wondered what could have trigger such a reaction, but nothing came to mind. Maybe he could ask later on another occasion, because right now, it was clear he needed someone close.

However, Bertolt’s mind was slowly clouding with dark thoughts. He didn’t want to ever let go— he enjoyed how warm this closeness made him feel. He loved how the other caressed him like a mother to his child, softly murmuring kind words right on his ear.

Bertolt had to protect him from all the devils.

Bertolt tightened the hold, making [Name] let out a low groan. “B-Bertolt… you are hugging me too tightly…”

The taller male blinked, with no more tears falling. He didn’t intended to hurt his light, his angel. Loosing his grip, Bertolt straighten himself to look at the other. [Name]’s eyebrows were furrowed in worry, looking at the brunette.

“What troubled you, Bertolt? Did I say something?” [Name] gently asked. However, the brunette didn’t pay attention to his words.

Rather, Bertolt was focusing on his [eye color] eyes— soft and gentle looking right at him. The kind face who looked worried, his soft lips moving but nothing could be heard. The taller male couldn’t catch a single lie on his face— only spotting true kindness.

Bertolt looked at [Name] with admiration and sparks on his green eyes— the brunette was looking at him as if he was his savior, and surely, he certainly was. Like an angel or some divine entity, that was Bertolt seeing [Name] as. He will protect him.

The brunette took [Name]’s face with both hands, placing them on his soft cheeks. The assistant was surprised by the action, but remained in silence to see what Bertolt would do next. By his surprise, the patient gave a soft and fast peck on his lips, instantly making [Name]’s cheeks burn.

Bertolt slowly retreated, with both hands still on the other’s cheeks, and intently looked at [Name], focused and determined. “I will protect you from the devils. I promise.”

Let’s just say a certain blond wasn’t very happy about what he was seeing… In fact, he felt furious watching what he considered his being touched— and even kissed! He couldn’t stand seeing the hands touching the assistant’s face and body. Erwin would not allow this going any further, and so, he exited the room he was in to quickly opening the door the session was in, alerting both of the males on the room.

“Erwin? But my time isn’t over?”

“It is over now. Leave.” Erwin demanded, his icy eyes looking at both males, [Name] shivering under it, and Bertolt glaring at him.

Unfortunately to [Name], when he tried to move away, Bertolt’s grip was still strong. “Bertolt… I have to retire from now, can you please let me go?” he murmured,

Erwin, catching what was happening, said, “I strongly advice to let go of him right now, Hoover.”

Bertolt only glared at him, tightly hugging [Name] by his waist. The assistant could feel the tension on the room, and before anything could happen, he tried to make Bertolt comply. “Please, Bertolt. I promise I will return, alright?” Unfortunately, the brunette shacked his head, hugging him closer, just like a child, fearing he would disappear. [Name] sighed, but remained positive. This could be done pacifically,  he just had to be a little pushy.

The assistant placed his hands on Bertolt’s cheeks, making him look at him. Quickly, [Name] placed a fast kiss on Bertolt’s nose, and then said, “I promise I will return; we will see each other again, Bertolt. But only if you let me go.”

Erwin’s eye twitched in annoyance by seeing the interaction. His fist tightly clenched, trying to remain calm and patiently wait for this to finish.

Bertolt, who looked unsure, slowly let go. [Name] smiled, finally standing and muttered a thanks. Quickly after Erwin and [Name] left the room, leaving Bertolt alone with his thoughts.

I will protect him…

。。。。。。。。。

The walk was in a uncomfortable silence. [Name] didn’t know what to exactly say, seeing how tensed the blond looked. But before he could speak, Erwin stopped walking, [Name] quickly following.

“You can’t physically touch a patient like that— it is forbidden. You will not do or let that happened again, understood?” Erwin spoke in a deep voice, making [Name] shiver in fear. The poor assistant never imagined to hear the blond sounding so demanding and scary— his whole aura felt cold and heavy.

“B-But… he needed it! Bertolt was just—”

“Hewill not touch you again!” The loud yell silenced [Name], who quickly shifted his gaze to the floor, his hands trembling.

The assistant forgot that even if the blond gave him kind smiles on his first day, that didn’t mean he wasn’t his boss. [Name] felt helpless under this tension, the blond surely had a heavy and demanding aura who told who was in charge here.

Erwin, noticing [Name]’s shaking form, instantly regretted his behavior. Yes, he was furious with what just occurred, but he didn’t want his [Name] to be scared of him. The blond rubbed his temples, sighing.

“I’m sorry, [Name]…” The taller man apologized, lowering his voice, “I was… worried. You don’t know what could happen if you let them cross the line.”

He waited for him to say something, but he only received a nod for an answer. “Can you look at me, [Name]? I apologize with how I reacted.”

Still, the small assistant didn’t look at him. Erwin. impatient, gently grabbed [Name]’s chin and made him look up, meeting his [eye color] eyes. The blond could tell the other was nervous and intimidated by him; something that made Erwin strangely… pleased and conflicted at the same time.

“I apologize.” Erwin said, “but you can’t let them be that close to you; it’s dangerous, and I can’t let something happen to you. Do you understand, [Name]?”

“I… understand, Erwin.” [Name] spoke, unsure. Erwin slightly smiled, caressing [Name]’s cheek with his thumb, before letting go. The tension disappeared, letting [Name] breathe again.

“I’m glad you do.”

i suddnely remembered ur works and how much i loved it and i literally just read every single work u have i just wanted to say that i love all of your works and i hope ur happy and healthy ❤️❤️

you're really nice, thank you! I've been taking a long break and I've missed a lot of asks in here (since my email now doesn't get any notifications from tumblr all of sudden...), but your ask really brings me a lot of warmth! (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)♡

hope you had a good year and a good beginning of the year too!!!

ok... i don’t want to be rude or anything but... why can’t some authors clarify reader’s gender??? u____u

is it too hard to add a “female!reader” at the beginning? We just assume reader always wants to go by she? like i’m chillin reading an ‘x reader’ as gender neutral and BAM u thought wrong fool: “she” “her” “pussy” like bro.... just... c l a r i f y p l s and give me the choice of not wasting my time and get annoyed 😭

REISS MENTAL ASYLUM / 14

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】 『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. Somnophilia at the end! masterlist

notes: someday i will rewrite this whole cringe thing and feel better about it, LOL. but i hope there's enjoyement in this chapter.

１３

「lazy afternoons」

“Yes, Porco, I’m okay.” [name] chuckled softly. “I will stay over a friend’s house, so there’s no need to worry about me.”

Porco snorted loudly, obviously making fun of his lie. [name] pouted at such reaction. “A friend’s house? Exactly who? You have no friends, you loser."

”H—Hey! I do have friends!!” He felt childish, and he could tell Porco was having fun by proving him he was a lonely loser. “I have many!!”

”Really? Haven’t seen you go out a single day without the same fucking guy.”

"They are just... secretive. AND busy!"

"Busy... of course." Porco's tone changed, but [name] couldn't put more attention thanks to his migraine. "If everything goes well here, we'll have a talk, you and me. It's important."

"That sounds serious... is something going on?"

"Just... take care of yourself in that disgusting place, man. Tell Victor—"

"Vincent!"

"Whatever his fucking name is, to stay with you. With what you told me, I..." Porco couldn't continue. [name] heard some grunts on the other line— was he embarrassed?

[name] grinned. "I care about you too, Porco."

"Shut up. I'm hanging up." [name] could tell he was flustered, but silenced his laugh.

"See you soon!"

"Lock your doors and windows."

"Will do."

‿̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿

After the call ended, [Name] let out a grunt. He hid his head within his covers as he remembered Mike’s words about him getting sick. The man was a witch—or maybe a wizard? Either way, he was right. Or at least, his nose told him the future, somehow.

[Name] hadn’t felt dandy when he got to his apartment the night before. He knew getting out of the car by himself wasn’t possible, and Levi, knowing this, helped him as he did before.

He had a bad stomachache and an urge to throw up again; but thought a good night's rest was enough to wake him up and make him feel better. Unfortunately, the moment his alarm interrupted his sleep, he felt the worst way possible.

He also had a fever. He was 100% sure. The cushion was already disgustingly wet from his sweat, along with his pillow, but his sudden weak body didn’t let him get up. Not even when he felt the need to puke. So poor [Name] had to stay put and try to calm himself if he didn’t want to make a disgusting mess in his room. He didn't know how much time had passed since then.

Even if his whole body felt weak and disgusting, [Name] tried to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Yet, the moment he got up, he almost fell— if it weren’t for his nightstand, his face would have been kissing the floor, with blood being a plus. It was then that he accepted his defeat and called Margaret to notify her of his absence. She had replied, saying she had been waiting for his call since Mike mentioned his condition yesterday. The poor sick just sighed, thanked her, apologized, and hung up.

He was ready for another bad sleep when the phone on the nightstand rang. His eyes couldn’t identify the caller since his vision was a bit blurry, but answered blindly. The moment the voice in the other line spoke, [Name] miraculously surpassed an embarrassing yelp from coming out.

“[Name], it’s Erwin. Good morning, first of all. I’ve been notified of your absence for today. Is everything alright?”

“O—Oh, uhm, y—yes! Ah—! Sorry, good morning!” It was obvious [Name] wasn’t in the right mind. He couldn’t think clearly, and his head felt like it was burning. His words slurred a bit.  “I just got a bit of a fever— nothing I can’t handle, heheee…” What a fast man Erwin was— did he call him the moment Margaret notified him?

”Is that so? How are you feeling?”

”Everything is good! I’m fffine, really!”

There was a moment of silence on the other line, making [Name] a bit anxious. Was he angry? Upset? Did the think this was a lie?

“I see. Also, don’t worry about today’s schedule. Everything’s covered, alright?”

“O—Ok… and, uhm… sorry about today… I didn’t meaan to get sick…”

[Name] heard a chuckle from the other line. ”Don’t worry about that, [Name]. It’s not your fault— something like that can be rearranged when you feel better, so don’t overthink it.”

After saying goodbye, [Name] let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding.

The silence filling his room let his mind wander about the frightening man. He had felt the intense gaze on him everywhere he went. The sick male wanted to believe something else but a feeling of desire filled those blue eyes. The thought only caused him to grip the bedsheets harder, his face feeling warmer and his thoughts messy. He wanted to turn a blind eye to it, but it was too obvious. The man was bold!

But… would it be wrong, though? To accept the date fully? At the moment, it felt like an obligation—a must. [Name] didn’t feel particularly happy about such a thing. Neither when Zeke wanted to use him to do such dirty play to Erwin. Now, it didn’t feel that bad; it was just embarrassing. He laughed light-headedly as he pictured Erwin on a date with him—maybe eating strawberry cake? or just chuckling at whatever they were talking about…

The imaginary moment lulled him slowly, blinking lazily at the ceiling. Maybe a good sleep in another place would make him feel better…

But a knock on his door interrupted him, startling him. The sound only made him grunt— he didn’t want to get up… but he did nevertheless. Of course, as his mind wasn’t in the right state, he took his blanket with drawings of frogs with him. He breathed heavily as he tried not to stumble too much. When he got to the entrance, he opened the door right away while his mind ignored how Porco scolded him about how he had to look into the peephole first before answering the door. Living in this godforsaken apartment was dangerous; serial killers would love to pick a stupid victim here, he said.

He blinked lazily, not really recognizing who he was staring at. Until he abruptly stood straight with a yelp, realizing it was Levi at his door, looking as happy as ever. [Name] couldn’t be more embarrassed by how he looked right now: a blanket with cartoony frogs on it, his oversize T-shirt with his favorite cartoon, and his shorts. His hair was a mess, his face was warm, and his eyes fought to stay closed— it was more to say that his bruises were on display too.

Levi, amused by the display, raised a brow. “It looks like nose man was right.”

Still, [Name] didn't know what else to say. He stood there, dumbfounded.

“Are you making me stay here all day or what? Have some manners.” The ravenette spoke in irritation, but with no malice. After all, it was known by now that his scolding was just for fun. Well... sometimes. This was enough to wake [name] up from his embarrassing episode. He quickly opened the door with incoherent mumbling and stood aside, letting Levi inside.

He felt dizzy; what he said sounded more as if he was barely keeping it together. “I—I didn’t expect you here!” He cringed at his own wording, trying to save himself: “I mean, I don’t mean you can’t come in! It’s just that I— Weeell—”

“I didn’t expect myself here either, but since we all know you don’t know a thing about self-care, here I am." The ravenette spoke sternly, his eyes narrowing into a sharp critical gaze as he observed the apartment.

“Buuuut… There was no neeeed…” The amount of talking made him even dizzier, as he stumbled backwards a little bit. Levi just raised a brow, expecting another lie.

“Stop being stubborn and sit down.” The ravenette placed some plastic bags on the table and emptied it. He took out a canned soup, and [Name] could smell fresh vegetables from the other bag.

He stared dumbfoundedly at the contents, then at Levi, then at the bags, then at the man again. The ravenette stared him back and spoke as if he was talking with an idiot: “You don’t have anything in your fridge.”

[Name] stayed in silence, processing the words from him. Then, he stood straight as he stared in embarrassment, eyebrows furrowing. “How do you know that?!”

“Because that’s you.”

[Name] didn’t know if to take that as an offense, so he avoided the ravenette’s gaze and looked defeated.

Levi didn’t care, it seemed, since he changed the subject. “What have you been doing before I got here?”

“Hmn… nothing…?” [Name] sighed and blinked lazily. “I wanted to take a shower, since I’m all sweaty… but I didn’t have any energy, and I thought I would feeell—”

“Oh, you will,” Levi stated, while crossing his arm as he tried to think, “you will get that shower. You look like a pig.”

“You are meaaaaan…” it wasn’t as if [Name] was in his right mind anyway to think of what he said, “I’m going to fall… I can’t go… and I feel sick,” he tightened the froggy bedsheets around him even more— he just wanted to fall asleep again.

“No.” Levi spoke sternly, harshly taking the cover off of [Name], causing him to gasp. “You will get that shower, so better get up and show me where the bathroom is before I take the sink to shower you.”

The ravenette took [Name] from the back of his shirt, forcing him to stand up. [Name] couldn’t help but comply, secretly glad he didn’t have to walk alone anymore as he guided Levi to the bathroom. It could seem like a careless action or touch by Levi, but he was sure [Name] wouldn’t fall even if he tripped, since the grip on his collar was strong enough.

He just didn’t want to touch sweat.

Levi was a bit grateful the bathroom was in decent shape after seeing such living room. It was small, with some corners and part of the sink and bathtub colored in oxidation thanks to the time. The mirror had some marks on it, along with the flooring having some ruptures. In Levi's mind, he couldn't stop repeating how horrible this place was. Or rather, how disgusting this whole building was.

He ordered [name] to steady himself with the sink while he filled the bathtub with not-too-warm water. Complying with a soft okay—! [name] allowed Levi to work, a little embarrassed when he noticed Levi’s narrowed eyes glaring at how slowly the water came in. If he was bothered or irritated, he didn't voice it, nor did [name].

In whatever silence they were in, Levi broke it off with a blunt order as he returned to his spot beside [name], taking his collar again. "Take your clothes off."

"U—Uh..?! That's sooo straightforward!!" raising his voice, [name] could feel his face getting warmer. "I—I can't do that in front of youu...!"

"Then should I throw you fully clothed in the water? Or should I undress you myself?"

[Name] felt a little bit of dread at the thought of Levi letting go of him. If he did, [name] didn't trust himself to remain standing.

"O-Okay, okay! Just... please turn around," he said his request with as much gentleness as he could have, eyeing Levi with a pleading look. The ravenette frowned as he stared at the sick idiot for a couple of seconds with cryptic eyes before giving in. Sighing in relief, [name] used Levi's shoulders to steady himself as he undressed clumsily. A few times [name] tightened his grasp on Levi's when tripping with his own clothes, only noticing his strength when the ravenette grunted or let out a remark.

"D—Don't turn around yet! Just... step backwards a little bit, pleease..." Carefully, [name] stepped inside the bathtub with a hum as his skin met the tepid water. It was just then, with water just under his chest as he hugged his legs, that he realized how hot he was. He involuntarily sank his whole body into the water, humming at the now-comforting temperature. He quickly retreated to his original stance when he remembered Levi was waiting for him. "...okay, you can turn around..."

"Finally." Levi took a small stool that was behind the sink and placed it beside the bathtub, sitting down. He rolled up his sleeves and took the shampoo, placing some on his hands. "Close your eyes," he commanded before rubbing the shampoo on [name]'s head, massaging the scalp.

It was actually relaxing on [name]'s part. He thought Levi would be rougher, but his hands were gentle. He could hear himself let out a content hum while his shoulders eased and he rested his chin on his knees.

“Bend over a bit.” Levi asked in a gentle tone this time, taking the soap. Just when [Name] obeyed and Levi was ready to lather him up, he noticed a lengthy burn scar on [Name]’s back, more so on the left side. It didn’t look… severe per se— boiled water, perhaps? Levi could tell fire didn’t cause it.

Whoever it was or whatever caused it, Levi continued to bathe [Name] with other thoughts in mind. It seemed the idiot had forgotten, since he didn’t say a thing about his silence.

“Sorry you haave to do aaall of this, Levi…” [Name]’s voice cut his dark thoughts off. “I’m very sorryyy,”

This time, it was Levi who sighed. “I told you yesterday, didn’t I, idiot? If I don’t do it myself, I will be in a bad mood all fucking day. And I have enough with those shitty glasses at work.”

[Name] giggled, “a mooore of bad mood?”

“Don’t get smart with me.” Levi warned him, but he didn’t sound hostile.

[name] talked about everything and anything. He looked content even if Levi gave hums or half answers when being asked something. At some point, [name]'s voice got lower and lower, until he fell silent. The ravenette was unsure if he had fallen asleep, but seeing his shoulders go up and down slowly made him sure.

Just seeing him like this, in this godforsaken place, rotting away... made him feel something he didn't want to say out loud. He just felt irritation.

[name] seemed asleep. Before waking him up, Levi gently caressed the scar on his back and wondered the reason for this act of dominance. Confusion, or perhaps anger, danced in his mind—not exactly for the scar per se.

He retreated his touch and got up, speaking louder to wake [name] up.

"Oi. Wake up. You can't sleep yet." As he took a towel, he signaled him to stand up to dry his body. He noticed how groggily the [hair color]-haired stood up, with eyes closing every two seconds and not even complaining about being seen naked this time. Levi quickly wrapped [name]'s body without much of a glance. His arm went around [name]'s waist to guide him out of the bathroom and to his room, as [name] vaguely told him where it was.

Surprisingly, his room wasn't a mess. Everything seemed in order and clean, to Levi's somehow relief. Levi asked him for clean clothes as he helped [name] sit down on his bed, but [name] was unable to answer because of his sleepy state. The ravenette grunted as he snapped his fingers in front of [name]'s face, making him jump in surprise and barely waking him up.

"Clothes... Ah! Right there, Levi." The ravenette opened the wardrobe and took the first thing he saw, which was another oversized T-shirt with, this time, a picture of a fat cat, and a pair of shorts. He couldn't stop himself from raising his brows in amusement at such choice of designs, almost wanting to make a remark about it. Yet, it wouldn't be as rewarding to see [name]'s groggy state acting stupid like his normal self. He threw the shirt over [name]'s head, the sick completely out of it to even complain about it.

Levi crossed his arms. "Answer—should I dress you or are you capable?"

"Mhm...? Oh, yeah... I caan..." [name] yawned, lazily taking the shirt. Levi had never seen such clumsiness before as he observed how the idiot missed the biggest entrance for his head to one of the arm’s. And then he looked pretty content about being trapped in the smallest hole, as if he had done a splendid job.

“You look stupid.” That was the only statement Levi could spit out before helping him with the t-shirt. His next objective was the shorts, but [Name] seemed to quickly snap out of his dazed and quickly stutter slurred words Levi couldn’t understand, but could decipher by [Name]’s stupid, embarrassed expression. As always, he asked him to turn around.

“You need to eat.” Levi stated as [Name] finished, turning to him once again.

“I want to sleep, Levi.” The sick idiot tried to lay down on the bed, but Levi’s grip on his shirt stopped him.

“Before that, you will eat.”

“But I’m sleepy…” [Name] tried to ‘charm’ Levi by blinking and staring pathetically. The ravenette narrowed his eyes.

It didn’t work. “But I don’t care. Get up.”

All of this felt like Levi was taking care of a child. Or perhaps a cat. A clumsy, useless cat whose life was only to destroy things and be a nuisance.

[Name] complied. Although this time he didn’t try to not be an annoyance, because his body felt heavier and his words didn’t make sense. Levi knew he needed sleep, but he couldn’t let him, still. Or he just didn’t want to. He couldn’t deny that painful, tired face made him feel better.

He instructed [Name] to patiently wait on the couch, since at least he had some mercy on him and didn’t let him wait on the chair while Levi chopped some vegetables for the food.

The sounds of the old TV and the low snores from [Name]’s filled the room, leaving Levi in a barely peaceful moment.

As he put the ingredients into the pot where he had filled it with the soup, he went to sit on the chair while observing [Name], who waited for the food to be ready.

The idiot stayed asleep, with no care or worry about who was with him. Has anyone broken in? Levi wondered.

The lock looked cheap and easy to break, but Levi instantly knew this idiot would open the door before looking, even if he was in his sane mind. A strong lock or a fancier building wouldn’t change that.

If Erwin hadn't taken a liking to him, where would he be? Dead inside a dumpster, maybe. Or perhaps in a job barely making the minimum wage. Or suffering under someone’s orders. Well, it wasn’t as if his situation was any better, in such a filthy place. Erwin had his reasons to hire him, but he didn't share them. What he couldn't hide from Levi was the acts of devotion he had for the assistant; how his blue eyes stared with such... affection? No. Erwin wasn't like that. Something vicoius hide beside that caring-boss facade. 

Speaking of that, who was this guy? Levi felt even more disgusted by the place as he took another look around. This whole building was rotting. Either way, Levi could observe [name]’s attempt to ‘hide’ the mess—pictures. One with him and friends? Perhaps family; a younger [name] with a dog; another picture of him, a guy looking irritated with a black-haired girl... Pretty ordinary pictures.

There were a few small plants, too. A book on the table beside the couch; keys hanging on the wall—were those small paintings? Levi could distinguish between what seemed to be the ocean and a sunset; in another painting, there were frogs in a pod.

[Name] was just like he imagined: a mundane person that he wouldn't usually take an interest in. How could he? This clumsy guy was easy to control, easy to overpower, had naive ideas, was dense... Then why this sudden attention? To someone so insignificant? He could understand Erwin's motives and even that four-eyes son of a bitch, but not his own. Levi found this irritable.

Maybe he liked to imagine how he would tangle his fingers between [name]'s hair, seeing his expression of satisfaction only for him to pull and see that face of being hurt: that pout, teary eyes, that slight frown meaning that he's going to cry... Or just harshly grab that jaw to hear him squeak once he takes his hand away to see the marks he made on that pretty face.

That face…

Levi narrowed his eyes.

That stupid face.

The reminder of the food interrupted his nightmarish thoughts. He went to check and realized it was ready. Without any permission, he took a bowl from the drawers—which didn’t have much—which, particularly, was blue with painted sheep. Levi couldn’t really believe how childish this guy was—hmn? Was that a mug with painted cats…?

Levi served the food. Even when he made lots of noise, the sick idiot didn't even move. The caretaker got in front of him and stared him down—[name] looked exhausted. His expression wasn't a comfortable one*; his body looked tense, and he was sweating.

He looked disgusting.

“Wake up.” Levi grabbed the front of his shirt with no gentleness.

[Name] barely woke up groggily, with his eyes barely opening and closing. From his mouth came words with no meaning, not even pying attention for the man.

Levi made him sit down while he ignored his pleas for him to stop. “Food’s ready. Wake the hell up.”

“Buuuut… I’m asleep…”

“Now you’re not. Get up.” [name] resisted. Levi gritted his teeth, and in his eyes reflected an anger that made [name] shiver. “Get the fuck up, or I’ll punch you until you die.”

“Ok, Okay! I’mm uup—!” Even with slurred words and a weak mind, he knew Levi didn’t make jokes. The thought of Levi acting like a beast made him gulp.

“Huh…” [name] looked at the table, and then at the couch. “Can I eat on the couch…? I don’t want to sit down…”

Levi tightened the grip on his collar. The sounds from the TV weren’t helping his temper much, since an annoying money TV game was on and fueled Levi’s annoyance with him.

The caretaker only pulled him forcibly. “No. You will sit like a civilized, mannered person, not like a pig. You will make a mess if you lay down.”

[name] didn’t dare say anything else. He sat down, like a good boy, and looked at his food. It looked good, actually. The nice aroma reminded him of the hunger in his stomach, as it immediately growled. [name] took the spoon, ready to eat it all.

But, just as expected, [Name] was unable to even feed himself accordingly. His sloppy movements, thanks to his sudden sleepiness, made him unable to hold the spoon properly, messing up the table and dirtying his face. Levi grunted, disgusted once again and more annoyed.

With a harsh move, he took the spoon from [Name]’s shaky hand, surprising him with it. But before Levi could feed him himself, he took a napkin and, with not much gentleness, cleaned [Name]’s face. Whimpers and soft complaints left [Name], but they went to deaf ears. Just as Levi finished, he clicked his tongue at his own exasperation.

“Open your mouth. I will feed you like the child you are.” Levi harshly took [name]'s jaw while he guided the spoon to his mouth. [Name] felt ashamed at first, desperately staring anywhere but Levi's eyes. The ravenette didn't like [name]'s childish behavior, as his grip on his jaw tightened. [name] jumped, opening his mouth with teary eyes. "Why don't you just obey? Always doing what you should not be doing." Levi's never softened his grip, perhaps as a punishment for being disobedient.

This kept going in silence until [name] felt full. A gentle touch on the hand with which Levi gripped his jaw was enough for his caretaker to abruptly stop and glare at him directly. [name]’s body tensed. "I'm—I'm full..." The stare he got was enough to make him shiver. Why were there times when he could speak to Levi normally, but in times like this, Levi unnerved him?

It didn't help when he stared like that. And the way he silently got up, took his bowl, and began doing the dishes didn’t help at all. Was he angry? Did he do something wrong?

Well, whatever. He felt sleepy again. The food had helped him feel comfortable, in some way.

“Dhankss for the food, Levaa…” His eyelids felt heavy.

A grunt was the only answer. [name] slowly began to drift away, dreams taking his mind. His arms rested on the table, letting his face rest on them. The soft silence from the dishwasher lulled him.

This time, Levi didn't say anything else. Instead, he knew he felt a hand caress his hair before shaking his shoulder, but he could be wrong, after all.

“You are asleep already.” Levi’s soft voice sounded far away, even if he was next to him. His strong arm wrapped around his waist, guiding him to the bathroom again.

[name] couldn't open his eyes anymore. His body felt automatic—he just felt Levi’s hands on his mouth, brushing his teeth gently. Did he dream all of this, actually?

He didn’t even remember walking to his bed, but he was already under the covers. Levi’s hand rested on his forehead, and [name] could barely see his usual frown. The sick idiot couldn't help but close his eyes again, but once he opened them again, something cold was resting on his forehead.

Levi said something, but [name] didn't understand.

“That feelss goood…” [name] smiled contently. He chuckled softly. “You are a great nurse, Mr. Levi.”

Levi didn’t like that, since he flicked a finger on [name]’s forehead. [Name] whined, the eyes of betrayal stared at Levi’s face, who glared back. [Name] pouted.

“Not nice…”

“I’m not nice.” Levi changed the cloth to a colder one, by [name]’s relief.

“You are.” He closed his eyes again.

“Not.”

“Just rough sometimes. But you are nice.”

Levi didn’t answer, but it was enough for [name] to look content. A frown formed on Levi’s face while he sat down beside [name]. He took the mug off the nightstand, which [name] didn’t even notice, and waited for the sick idiot to react. “Take a sip.”

“What’s…?”

“Ginger tea. Take. A. Sip.”

[name] chuckled like an idiot while Levi helped him sit down. Levi’s hand on his back and how he helped him take small sips brought him some type of comfort. The feeling of being taken care of was… nice, even if he knew Levi didn’t like the whole idea. Any other type of comfort in his life was Porco; he would be lying if he didn’t feel happy having someone so… caring and trustworthy around him. Knowing he was away made him sad.

“I… don’t waant mooore.”

Levi stopped without much to say, and left the mug in its previous place. He told [name] not to lay down since he could feel like vomiting again. He changed the cloth again before his hand stayed on his forehead to not let the cloth fall down. [name] opened his eyes tiredly to admire Levi. Well, what else could he do?

Levi sure was a handsome man. Or did he confess that to himself because he was not in his right mind? Well, he didn’t admit that out loud…

He felt lightminded; perhaps that’s why he felt bolder to say things.

“You are scary sometimes.” Even though the statement wasn’t a positive thing to say, [name] smiled like an idiot. “Veeeeery scary…”

Levi narrowed his eyes.

“Buut even scary, you look good!”

Levi didn’t react— not openly, at least. “And you look dumb, but that doesn’t give you any favors.”

[Name] chuckled. Levi helped him lay down again.

“I’m sleepy.”

Levi removed the cloth and rested his hand on [name]’s forehead to feel his temperature. [Name] hummed contently as he felt Levi’s cold fingers on his warm skin. Without much thought, he gently moved Levi’s fingers over his closed eyes. He felt more comfort.

“Migraine?” Levi asked.

“Hmn…” [Name] didn’t have more energy to give a detailed answer.

“I left pills on your nightstand.” Levi said, “Take some.”

“No… I’m… tired…” [name]’s eyelids felt heavier, and he couldn’t help closing them.

Levi didn’t like being contradicted, but he kept silent. Perhaps he was tired because of him, or just annoyed. He grunted but didn’t say further. The room fell into silence. Levi stared at [name]’s face, who rested quietly. As he saw nothing else bothering him, he got up and spoke loudly for [name] to hear. [name] opened his eyes tiredly when he got up from the bed.

"It's time for me to go, then." Levi was ready to leave, but he felt something pulling his hand before he began to walk away. He turned his head just to see [name] staring at him with pleading eyes, almost looking like a child scared of the dark.

"Nooo... don't leave me, please," he pleaded. "Stay with me..."

"I can't. Go to sleep."

"But, Levi, I'm scared of being alone... Please, just stay with me this time, pretty pretty please?"

Levi stared, again. With holding hands still, [name] blinked slowly with his long eyelashes, making his plea more "captivating.” Levi wanted to punch his face.

“No.”

“Pretty pleasse…” [name] tightened the grip on his hand.

Levi actually thought about it this time. Perhaps [name] was going to fall asleep, since he looked too tired. “Five minutes.” He answered before sitting down again in the same place, while ignoring how content and happy [name] stupidly looked. Silence filled the room again, but speaking wasn’t necessary for both of them this time.

After such peace, the phone rang. [Name] grunted at the interruption of his sleep, but quickly took the phone before missing the call. The frown that was plastered on his face changed to a soft smile as he answered. Levi narrowed his eyes at such change.

“Hi, Vincent.” [name] replied. “I’m good. Thank you for calling.”

What a good friend.

“It’s fine. Actually, Levi came to—”

Levi snitched the phone out of his hands. Vincent’s voice only fueled his irritation, as his worried questions were heard from the other line.

“What a nice, worried friend you are, Mr. Guard.”

Vincent didn’t answer at first. “Mr. Ackerman, good afternoon.”

Levi could notice Vincent’s change of tone. Well, the feeling was mutual.

“No need for such cute calls for your boyfriend.”

“If I’m worried about him, then I’ll call.”

Levi gritted his teeth. *“*How daring.”

Levi noticed Vincent was going to make a remark, but he shut himself up before spitting it. The ravenette smirked slightly. At least such guard knew who he was talking to. Due to the lack of an answer, Levi kept speaking.

“You asked, he answered. This is all you’ll get.”

Vincent seemed to rile himself up. "He doesn’t—” But Levi hung up before Vincent could finish. He slammed the phone with such force, that made [name] jump at the noise.

Levi stared knives at the phone, not paying attention to [name]’s stare.

“You don’t like Vincent.” [name] looked at him timidly, speaking softly. Levi did look furious at the call— but [name] was sure Vincent wasn’t the type of person to look for problems. What did make Levi so angry?

“Is that a problem for you?”

[name] frowned. It… wasn’t a problem, but he didn’t like seeing his friend— or confidant? being treated so harshly. He knew Levi could see that, but he knew how Levi acted. The people in the asylum could be really… spiteful. Either way, the reflective thoughts only soothed him—he was more than tired. Levi waited, but the question was left unanswered. Instead, it was met with soft snores coming from the idiot.

He had fallen asleep at last.

Levi glared at him—how could he be sleeping so comfortably with him in the room? Leci here, acting like a good guy only fueled his anger. There had to be a reward for this absurdity. He didn’t comprehend his own feelings—their meaning. After all, he hadn’t needed them in a long time, if ever. [name] made him repulsed by such foolish emotions.

How bitter you are.

[Name] didn’t mean to last in that place, but Erwin and four eyes sought any ways to protect him from all evil. Even so, they themselves were worse than the subjects. Levi laughed bitterly internally every time one of them couldn’t hide their desire to possess such a good-for-nothing assistant. He couldn’t understand wholly, but now he saw why. But ‘liking’ him? It wasn’t that. It was something else, but Levi still couldn’t comprehend. He should, soon enough.

Levi glanced at [name], waiting for the moment to move.

And, just when he noticed [Name] fell into a deep slumber, the devil returned.

Levi couldn't stop himself. There was just this urge.

Shifting his body slowly to not interrupt his companion's sleep, facing him. He stared at [name]'s body; how his chest moved according to his breathing, how his lips slightly opened as gentle, barely audible snores came out of his mouth—his long eyelashes, his relaxed, cute expression... only for him to see.

Levi's hand slowly moves under [name]'s shirt, gently caressing his warm stomach. He moved his touch on [name]'s waist this time, grabbing and squeezing part of the flesh not too harshly. The ravenette waited for a response, but just as he was met with silence, he continued his secret exploration in quietness. This time, he rested his head on the crock of [name]'s neck, smelling his scent. His hand explored the flesh a bit more daringly, slowly crawling his way to reach [name]'s chest, the tips of his fingers exploring the flesh cautiously.

This time [name] whimpered softly, his body shivering for one second. The ravenette waited for any other reaction or complaint, but [name] remained in his slumber with a troubled expression adorning his face.

Levi smirked.

What a reward.

Hey how are you? Sorry for the question, but are you still going to continue the story empty? I love this story so much and I wanted to know if there was a sequel, and I love your writing♡♡

hi dear!! i'm better, thank you! i hope you are doing well as well.

as you noticed... empty has gone into an indefinite hiatus :( i'm not really happy with how it is right now, but instead of deleting the whole thing, what i'm trying to do is just rework earlier chapters and continue. unfortunately, im trying to focus on my other story first, so empty will be abandoned some time. sorry!

Flower Curse | 1. White Petal

[levixmale!readerxerwin]

english isn’t my first language, so sorry for the grammatical errors!

this work will have vomiting, heavy angst and death. the reader suffers from the hanakahi disease.

summary: you loved him. he didn’t. everything goes downhill when suddenly, you cough a petal when you think of him.

The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient throws up and coughs of flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.

1

Love hurt. Even more with the disease you had; some people could say it was ’poetic’ and so ’romantic’. You could have thought that one day a long time ago; just because this curse was so rare to have or yet so slim. You had yet to find someone who had this in real life and not in some fairy tales in child books or romantic novels for adults.

x x x It all began when you were alone in your office, working on some stressful paperwork Hanji handed you to finish for today. You were so deep in your work that the knock on your door wasn't heard at all. It was at the third attempt that you heard a female voice you knew to well. “Who and why?“ you irritably asked, one hand on your temple and another holding a paper not yet finished. “Petra Ral, bringing more paperwork, sir” she answered opening the door as you told her to come in. Sending you a gentle smile, she gave you the papers and spoke with some playfulness in her sweet voice, “It seems everybody is really busy today! Your voice scared me more than the Corporal, [Name]!“ You only closed your eyes and slightly laughed, sitting more comfortably on your seat. Looking at her, you tiring smiled, “Sorry, Petra. Somehow today we have a lot of paperwork, and you know paperwork is boring as hell,” you both laughed, “How is the Corporal? Is he handling this better than me?” You knew she tried to hide her blushing when speaking about her Corporal, but you were to observant to not notice it. You always are observing every little detail about everyone, even her with no exceptions. You knew she and you had feelings for the same person but unlike her, nobody knew about your feelings about the Corporal. Well, just Erwin knew; the man was like a hawk. He knows everything and sees everything; just like Mike magical nose. These two were weirdos, but great friends nevertheless. “He’s been stressed, but making him some tea relax him,” Petra gets near to you and covers her mouth, as like telling a secret she only knew about, “I think I'm making better tea lately! He’s been complimenting me a lot!” this time the blush on her cheeks was stronger and smiles at you with a dreaming smile you always saw on other cadets when talking about their lovers, just like that Jean kid in lunch looking at Mikasa with a cheesy look. You knew loving the corporal was a bad idea. Levi wasn't that talkative about liking someone in that way, hell, you don't even know if he loved someone in that way. Yes, you both were great friends, the two of you liked to drink tea together and talk about the present and future, about the new recruits and their skills, joking together or just stay in a comfortable silence. You treasured his friendship, so ruining it by confessing was an absolute and horrible mistake you weren't going to make. He didn't loved you that way and you were okay with that. Until Petra came and everything began to hurt. You wished being observant wasn't one of your skills. You wished you didn't notice the glances they gave each other when they were alone or someone wasn't looking. You wished you didn't see the sparkles on both of their eyes. You wished deep in your heart, to not notice how Petra ’accidentally’ brushed her hand on his and he didn't say a word. You wished, you really did. Lies was one of your strong skills too. If talking to the Corporal and not showing any affection or jealously when glancing at their actions wasn't like wearing a mask everyday a skill you didn't know what was. Nobody break trough your thick mask, unlike Erwin. The fucker very well knew about all of your façade, how could he not? You two were close and just to see into your eyes he knew everything. “Is that so, Petra? It seems like you being his wife isn't that far far away...” you grinned, making a cheesy face at her. Only to get her blushing like a tomato, covering her face with both hands. “Don't say that THAT loud! Someone can hear you!” “As if no one knows, little Petra. Why don't you both go in a date already? At this rate someone is going to make better tea than you... I'm just saying...” you teased her with a playful smile. Petra was your friend, you couldn't feel bad things for her. She was really sweet and pretty. She was like a sister to you, and you were a brother to her. You didn't intended the relationship being like that but it just happened. “You think so?! But— what if he doesn't like me back?” “Petra, my dear, I'm sure he likes you back.” you reassured her. “You really think I don't see how he looks at you? You know how he feels. I know.” you thought, feeling a sharp pain in your chest that you ignored and faked a smile. “Maybe I will tell him soon... Thank you, [Name]. Also, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't make good tea! Thank you again for the tips. Levi really likes it.” “You're welcome, Petra. Good luck on telling him, I'm sure he feels the same way.” Saying farewells both of you returned to your work. When she left, your expression changed completely with a grimmer one. You didn't smile; just stared at nothing in particular. You were thinking on how they would look together, how they would hug and say each other “I love you”. The thought repulsed and hurt you; sickening you. A pain in your chest made you snap out of it, making you to cough harshly. You felt as if something wanted to get out of your throat; but it didn't feel like vomit at all. It stopped when you coughed a white petal, something that confused you completely. Did you breathe in petals by accident? That was unlikely, there weren't any flowers nearby. But then, how did this petal got in? Something felt very wrong to you. You just stared at the petal dumbfounded, not really knowing what to think of it. You just placed it next to your paper, already forgetting about it.

t w o

“i’m heading to bed, goodnight ☺️”

me in bed: