Mybestmosquitofriend - Those Kinds Of Girls Tend To Know Things

Contender for my favorite tweet of all time

hey. don’t cry. crush two cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in pasta of your choice ok?

from Simone’s instagram comments #crash4lottie

my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called "macrodata refinement” 😳 you'll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

me: yeah whatever. i don’t feel shit

5 minutes later: dude i swear i saw some scary numbers back there

my buddy pacing the severed floor: mr. milchik is lying to us

girlbestfriends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love you air dried hair i love you no makeup i love you comfortable clothes made out of soft fabrics i love you short nails

hey kids, what’s for dinner