Aaaa I Love This So Much And I Can Totally See The Resemblance, It Would Have Been So Good If This Was

i cant believe ive completely forgotten to post my dontello’s cant vocal tones graphics

ft. my completely accidentally movie vs show split

theyre all not good at both but some are worse at certain aspects over others. except for true neutral 07 who is just The Struggler. true neutral equally shitty at both

and some additional clarifying memes as well

Some biology textbook / vintage anatomical studies inspired 2012 donatello fanart 💀 I wanted to add labels to make it seem more authentic, but gave up after realizing procreate's text feature is so clunky, lol.

- Compy

I draw too

He's so cute

Warnings: I will be talking a lot about how terrible Donnie's crush on April is, and since I'm not an Apriltello shipper this will make it sound like I am shitting on Apriltello 2012 as a concept, but I'm actually just shitting on "Apriltello" as it is presented in the show.

This rant is also not really well structured, read at your own risk.

Okay so ever since I got Paramount + — because I got tired of getting viruses from indian websites when trying to pirate this goddamn show— I have watched TMNT 2012 a total of 5+ times, which means not only do I have a lot to say in general about this show but there is something that bothers me deeply, ever since the first season aired.

April O'Neil.

I know a lot of people shit on April in the show for how she treated Donatello, me included— and I stand by it, Cannon April is horrible — but honestly? Had she been a tad bit better written, there was a lot of potential for her character! There were so many good ideas, and all of them were WASTED.

So this is my character analysis of April O'Neil or, as I'm like to call it;

April O'Neil — The self insert of the teenage girl the writers had a crush on back in high school.

When I was 10 years old, I absolutely despised April because, naturally, I hated the love interest of most protagonists from the shows I watched because usually I felt they were badly written and other times were because I had a fictional crush on the protagonist, so in my child logic that meant I had to hate their love interests.

April was a prime example of that.

But as I've gotten older, I've realized a couple of things about April;

Firstly. April is written by grown ass men whose interactions with teenage girls likely doesn't extend further than that one time they got rejected by their crush in high school or telling their teenage daughter to go to her room, basing it off the way ALL female characters in the show are written.

Secondly, she is written by grown men who likely grew up having a fictional crush in previous versions of April.

This is... a recipe for disaster.

Look— April O'Neil and the way she acts in the show is written exactly the way adult men who are trying to write a teenage girl write teenage girls.

These dudes? They don't actually like or understand teenage girls. They had crushes on teenage girls, they thought they were hot, they might still think of the "what could have been" aspect if they didn't get rejected on prom night, but they do not respect teenage girls, they don't respect their thoughts, their feelings or their interests, and this not only means that April is a poorly written teenage girl as a result, but it also bleeds into the writing of other characters, mainly Donatello and Casey.

If you don't respect your teenage female character as a person, you're not going to write the teenage male characters to respect them either.

The writers clearly love April O'Neil, the concept. They try to sell you the idea that April is so cool, so cute/hot, this kind and empathetic soul, even though she barely does anything extremely cool or kind in the show??

The show is always trying to tell you what to think of April O'Neil, but the writing never earns that. In fact, it often shows the opposite.

The first time she sees the turtles? She screams AND is incredibly scared of them, which, understandable, but doesn't scream open-minded, does it?

When April finds out that Karai might have a semblance of a heart inside of her when they're fighting, instead of trying to create a connection with her and see if she can possible turn Karai to their side, she throws Karai down the subway stairs.

When she meets Dr. Falco with Donnie, and they're unknowingly discussing Dr. Rockwell with him, April keeps referring to the possible mutant experiments as MONSTROSITIES.

DONNIE IS RIGHT THERE!! She literally only stops when DONNIE had to express not once, but TWICE how uncomfortable he is. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out the giant mutant turtle is probably going to be uncomfortable hearing people call other mutants like him monsters.

Also— April is never really the one that tries to be kind of empathetic to mutants. She only stops the turtles from beating the shit out of Pidgeon Pete when he mentions her father. So much for someone with psychic powers. When Mutagen Man comes after her, she calls him DONNIE'S MONSTER.

Yes, I get she was pissed off with Donnie and the turtles still, but referring to a random kid who by no means deserved his fate as a monster is so fucked up, April?? How would she feel if Casey called her dad when he got mutated the first time a monster? She totally would've been angry at anybody who said that.

Also this raises so many questions. Did no one explain to April who Timothy was?? Did Donnie not tell her?!? Timothy just spent months stuck to Donnie's lab, watching everybody with his creepy ass eyes and organs and Donnie was making a voicebox for the poor guy and the information just never, reached April? That Timothy was this sorta weird sorta awkward teenage kid who got involved with things he shouldn't and got himself mutated?

I don't buy it. I get it not being mentioned in the show, but I feel like SOMEBODY would have mentioned it in passing to April at some point.

Moving on, a lot of people say the way April acts towards Donnie is annoying or shallow, which while totally 100% at certain points, I think a lot of people in the fandom, for one reason or another are incapable of fully empathizing with Cannon April, and while I genuinely think Cannon April is a BAD PERSON for several reasons, I feel that she doesn't deserve as much hate as she gets— especially not for the way she acts towards Donnie.

I mean, put yourself in her shoes for a nanosecond.

You've lost your mother in a mysterious accident or something 10 years ago. Your father likely doesn't talk a lot about it, and while that bothers you, you're just going through your normal teenage ages, worried about your grades. Worried about boys. Worried about high school popularity.

Then everything changed when the Kraang attacked. Suddenly, you find yourself being saved by four giant humanoid mutant turtles who do martial arts, and your dad is kidnapped by aliens in android bodies that wear suits, the mutants save you, but you have no idea if you'll ever see your father again. You might have just lost BOTH of your parents.

But before you are able to even start processing that you realize that one of those turtles has a massive, big, fat, and OBVIOUS crush on you. But does he confess? No, he just acts, really, really awkward and weird about it.

He lowkey treats you like his girlfriend even though he never asked you out, he calls you pet names like "my sweet chinchilla" and "my princess". He stalks you through buildings. He opens his arms expecting hugs when you're around. He pets your hair. He offers to let you feel his fucking bicep lmao.

And this isn't even half of the weird shit he does!!

Look, any teenage girl or actual woman would think this is fucking weird in real life, okay? Like, this guy is going to kill me and keep my teeth in a box levels of creepy. If we're treating April with actual respect, this would be lowkey terrifying from her POV, he saved her life and he likes her, what if she says she doesn't like him?

Donnie is taller, stronger, and much more skilled than April in every way possible— up until she gets superpowers— even though yes, he is a hero, and yes, his brothers would likely not let him do anything bad to her, how does she know?

If you're a regular teenage girl, how do you know this guy isn't going to lose his shit when you reject him? While I don’t think Cannon April is scared of Donnie hurting her for rejecting him, I still think she feels rejecting him would put her into such an awkward position that it could possible ruin the friendship they have.

Let's be honest, April is a cute/conventionally attractive girl, she definitely would have gone through the Nice Guy™ cannon event by the show's events at least once.

When you're able to look past the obvious bad writing or April hate what actually lies beneath is a girl who is in a horribly awkward situation. April's life has been turned upside down, her father keeps getting kidnapped or horribly mutated, she finds out she's not even FULLY human, aliens and ninjas are constantly trying to kidnap or murder her and on top of all of this?

One of the only people who can help her, help her father, save the entite world has a massive crush on her.

In her mind, it's much less risky to just pretend like she doesn't know he has a crush on her as long as he never confesses and she has to directly turn him down.

But then things get massively awkward when she meets this new kid and they have so much chemistry, she can actually share both aspects of her life with Casey. April gets to talk about how crazy her life is but also complain about normal stuff, and hey with this new kid coming around, this means that Donnie will naturally realize how they like each other and back off right???

Hahah...

No.

He gets JEALOUS. And is actively hostile to her friend!! And it is so blatantly obvious that it's because he is jealous of Casey, they're both generally so bad at hiding how they're both into April.

So now her predicament is that Donnie is actively hostile to Casey because he views him as a threat, and Casey who doesn't let that shit slide is responding in kin. They both act like she's their girlfriend or eventually going to end up with them, even though neither of them have asked her OUT.

This is majotarily an issue because of the bad writing. But if we ignore that for a second, what this looks like is a girl that's put into a situation where no matter what she does, she loses.

Now, I see some people suggesting that Donnie's crush on April is a two-sided problem, claiming that April is either very manipulative or that she lowkey enjoys that Donnie likes her which is odd to me— Like did we watch the same show?

While you can definitely see it like that since April's character is so badly written and so bland that you can fit almost any interpretation into her actions and her being outright manipulative would have been an interestingangle to explore, I completely disagree with this reading for the cannon because outside of a few very specific episodes, April never gives Donnie any indication that she likes him, outside of those situations she never "leads him on."

Like c'mon, the only episode I can think of where she does lead him on is foot too big, which I have a lot of problems with from a writing standpoint, but the episode itself feels so out of character and conflicting.

Ignoring how that episode affects Donatello for a second, it does something really gross to April's characterization. It has her very clearly reject Donnie's advances at the start of the episode, then she's not really present for a majority of the episode until Donnie essentially does some growing and tells her how he understands how she feels and he accepts her rejection, so she kisses him????

?????

Look, this feels like that point in any amateur writer's story where they need to continue the mutual pining, but the story came to a point where it has to directly address one of the character's interest in the other, so the writer pulls something convoluted out of their ass in order to keep the mutual pining going, without realizing that the way they're writing the character makes it feel like one of them HATES THE OTHER and by making them show interest out of a sudden, it destroys the previous characterization! It's not interesting, it's not even a character flaw, it's BAD WRITING!

This episode takes the cannon, if maybe unintentional characterization of April O'Neil as a girl who knows her friend is into her, but she feels uncomfortable directly addressing, and makes it seem like she's a manipulative bitch leading him on, which not only looks very stupid but is also very ~misogynistic~

It's also such a weird episode because nothing happens after this?

It's not Donnie's fault that he's a massive creep! It's not his Father's fault for not telling him he needs to cut it out because it's weirding April out— I also have a lot of problems with the way Splinter "addresses" this issue, which is to say, outside of a single episode, he doesn't—! It's not his brother's fault for never outright saying he needs to stop because of how much of a massive creep he is! It's not Casey's fault for not addressing it either and maybe trying to have a heart to heart with Donnie about both of their feelings toward April—

No, it's the girl's fault for leading him on. Even though everything she does screams "I am not interested, dude."

Also, this isn't me saying the other characters — with the exception of Splinter — should be heavily critized for their lack of emotional intelligence when approaching this situation. But if you are going to let the other teenager's poor actions slide because they're kids, you can't expect the only teenage girl to have the emotional intelligence to deal with that situation either without making it seem sexist, y'know.

The same issue is present with the way the writers start treating Casey btw, in season 2 when April was paired with Casey, she actually felt like a fully fledged character. It actually felt like she was going to start getting some actual character development and maybe develop a relationship with Casey, which made the most sense since at this point it felt like April had no intention of addressing the "I'm half human half kraang" situation. And she had chemistry with him!

And then out of nowhere she starts acting distant and cold towards Casey? Even CASEY points it out in the show lmao.

Honestly this feels like the writers trying to very poorly balance the love triangle, they needed to give Donnie a reason to believe he still had a chance with April, while knocking Casey down enough that he thought he shouldn't directly ask her out even after all of the pseudo dates they had in season 2.

And since I'm talking about April, I feel that maybe it's because my type of woman is women like Karai, which actually felt like an interesting person, even though she was also handled poorly, but April, outside of a few very specific episodes, just feels bland.

I mean, come on, can you tell me one concrete thing about her that comes from cannon that goes deeper than surface level?

What does she like? What doesn't she like? What her thoughts on the situations she finds herself in?

She never talks about her mother beyond missing her, even in the episode where the copy of her mom is present. It just happens, and then she never talks about it again??? At least not to any noticeable extent. She never processes what it means to be a half human half kraang mutant. It takes the show like 3 seasons to even start addressing her psychic powers?!

You're telling me you gave this version of April one of the coolest powers in the history of superpowers, and YOU WAIT TILL YOUR SHOW IS ALMOST OVER TO EVEN START ADDRESSING IT?

You cannot convince me Donnie and Casey wouldn't immediately want to talk about April's powers the moment they learned about it.

Donnie would immediately start running tests, not wait until the farmhouse to do it.

Casey would think, "It's totally dope. Yo" and would want to help April train her powers.

Cue a training montage with April learning how to levitate soda cans and how to use her psychic powers with both Donnie and Casey cheering her on.

Anyways, my conclusion to this post is just how all of the characters in this show were robbed, but especially April, she's not "April O'Neil" she is "Donnie's crush", she is "Casey's love interest", she’s "the center of the conspiracy".

She's never allowed to be a character. She's never allowed to feel like a real teenage girl. She's never even allowed to reject Donnie!! She is written as if she doesn't like him but every single time where he is getting over her suddenly something happens that makes him crawl back into that stupid obssession!! Even though she is clearly not interested. April O'neil is not a character, she is a weird plot device which the writers can use to move the plot forward and push their weird fucking ships onto the audience without actually developing anything to any extent.

I rest my case.

Caffeinated Masterlist

Started: February 26th, 2025

Last Updated: May 1st, 2025

Requests: Open

Important Reminders

I'm an adult, there might will be 18+ stuff here

There will be darker themes explored in these fanfics, not just possibly smut, but whumps, torture, Major Character deaths, etc, stuff is always tagged so read at your own risk

Characters are aged up to 18+ unless specified

As of now I only write for the 2012 version of the turtles

I take requests, but I don't promise to finish all of them, eventually I will make a rules post but as of now just don't ask for anything non-consensual between a reader and the turtles, T-Cest or Poly, everything else is good to go

I mainly write for the guys but I am not against writing for other characters either like the Shredder's henchmen, Bishop, Karai, Irma, Casey and April!

All

Coming soon...

Leonardo

Coming Soon...

Raphael

Coming Soon...

Donatello

MultiChapter Fics

Statistical Improbability - Donbot x Reader

Part 1 | Part 2

The Secrets we inherit - Donatello x Stockman's Niece!Reader

Part 1 | Part 2

Michelangelo

Coming Soon...

i thought id post some old art since im still working on new stuff :-) just a donbot doodle!!!

I really enjoy looking at Donatello's characterisation - especially the 2012 version of Donnie.

I don't know why, but something specifically about the 2012 iteration of our favourite brothers draws me to them. Maybe it's because I think they have the most interesting and unhealthy brother dynamic to explore out of any version of the Turtles. But just to say right off the bat, I don't agree with the statement that Raphael is abusive toward Mikey in this version. I don't think this to be true at all.

But in the 2012 version of Donnie, I think it's the obsessional aspect of his character that I find interesting. People flame him hard for it - which is very valid - the way he treated April was very creepy, and some of the things he did April had no knowledge of, (Like Donnie taking a photo of her and having it as his laptop wallpaper). But I like doing a little more when it comes to characters' less-than-ideal traits. Yeah, what they're doing is bad, creepy, etc. But why exactly might they be acting that way?

For Donnie, I think his problem is how he looks.

In the 2012 iteration, we never really see the turtles have a strong desire to be human. Mikey sometimes doesn't understand that humans will be scared of him, but he never lashes out and has a big moment like, 'I want to be a human so I can make more friends!' We see Mikey wonder what he'd look like as a human in an episode after Donnie creates retromutagen - with Mikey assuming if he used retromutagen on himself he'd turn human and not back into a regular turtle.

It is played as a joke, though, and he doesn't seem genuinely upset by the fact he's stuck as a turtle, as he is seen smiling after saying he wondered what he'd look like.

Interestingly enough, Donnie is the one to be portrayed as having a negative view attached to being a mutant more than any of his brothers.

Outside of being a mutant, it is implied that Donnie already has a fragile self-image anyway.

Remember the episode Turtle Temper? I think it's the third episode of the first season. But at one point, the other turtles are instructed to shoot arrows at Raph, while Raph has to try and avoid the arrows. Splinter makes it clear, however, that Mikey, Leo, and Donnie are allowed to insult Raphael during the exercise.

I've seen another content creator say that the insults they throw at Raphael could be more them self-projecting views they have on themselves rather than them actually thinking these things about their brother. Leo says, 'And you're always whining, poor me, nobody understands me.'

While this is easily applicable to Raph as an insult from Leo - Leo does have his own fair share of moments where he has gone to Splinter complaining that the others aren't listenting to him or respecting him, that they don't understand the burden he has to hold as leader.

Mikey tells Raph he moves like a bloated buffalo - which, although never hinted at in the show, could imply that maybe Mikey is insecure about how much he eats. Maybe his brothers have made comments about his greediness.

Donnie says, 'Oh! You can't keep your back straight during Omote kote Gyaku! And you're ugly!'

I think the first part is interesting as Donnie is the tallest out of his brothers - gangly limbs could mean Donnie has more difficulty knowing how to stand, where to place his limbs, etc. Donnie most likely is sat over a desk all day, and again, being tall, Donnie has more of a slouched posture out of his brothers. I think it was Karai that also insults Donnie in an episode by calling him scrawny, in which he responds, 'And I'm not scrawny! I'm svelte!' Svelte meaning slender and elegant.

Raph has also insulted Donnie's looks before in an episode, and again, it is unclear if this is a common occurrence, but knowing 2012 Raph's character, it's probably happened on more than one occasion.

Donnie : And why do you keep grabbing me by the face? What is wrong with my face?!

Raph: Do you want me to list the reasons alphabetically or in descending order of grossness?

So regardless of being mutated or not, it seems Donnie just has a generalised lack of confidence and some issues surrounding how tall he is.

But to his issues regarding being mutated.

Donnie might've previously not had any issues with being a mutant. Before, it might've been just a general lack of confidence, as I have already said. But in society, looks are always seen as a good trait to possess if you want to have any shot at a love life. You need to fit into the beauty standards and be attractive if you want a partner.

Before April, his brothers would've been the only thing to compare himself to. He lived in a home with only mutants for fifteen years of his life - so had normal teenager issues of going through puberty and insecurities. A lot of people can feel odd/uncomfortable and dislike their growth spurts, which is why Donnie's issues at first might seem like normal things for a teenager to worry about. Donnie's biggest issue would've been how scrawny and lanky he saw himself.

But when they meet April, there is a glaring difference.

Suddenly, there is somebody in his life who isn't a mutant like him. It becomes abundantly clear to Donnie that from somebody else's standpoint, their biggest issue with him wouldn't be his tooth gap or his height, but just the plain fact that he's so different. Inhuman. Out of the ordinary. A mutant.

When he's rambling to Timothy (Mutagen Man at this point) about why April might be on a date with some punk kid (Casey) the conclusion he resorts to is, 'Because he's human, that's why.'

At the end of the episode A Foot Too Big, when Donnie apologises to April, he says, 'I'm just... a mutant.' Again, this shows Donnie jumps to the conclusion that this is why April doesn't want to be with him, not his overbearing nature or the fact that she just genuinely might not be interested. The problem in Donnie's mind is that he's mutated.

The fact that Donnie used the word 'just' implies that being a mutant is all that Donnie has boiled himself down to. He thinks that his other traits aren't worthwhile or good - like him being funny, smart, inventive - because he thinks that nobody would pay attention to him. At the end of the day, he thinks nobody will be able to see him outside of being a monster.

In Fungus Humungous, the hallucination of April that Donnie experiences calls him an 'ugly mutant freak'. It is unlikely April actually thinks this of Donnie, but it's what Donnie thinks she does because it's his biggest fear. I'd like to split Donnie's hallucination into two parts. April insulting Donnie about being a mutant, and Donnie's hallucination of April kissing Casey.

We see April kissing Casey. I think the fact that this part of the hallucination comes second is meant to represent that this fear of rejection and not being able to find love is two sides of the same coin. His fear of April choosing Casey is a by-product of his main insecurity. We are shown April calling Donnie an 'ugly mutant freak' first. Donnie isn't afraid of rejection in itself.

In the first half of the hallucination, it shows that April uses a sharp tongue like a whip.

This tongue is shown to go through Donnie's heart and subsequently breaks it.

"To have a sharp tongue" means to be quick to criticize, speak harshly, or make cutting remarks; essentially, someone who is often unkind or sarcastic with their words.

I think this represents that, over anything, it is April's words that break his heart more than her actions. It is her disgust at him being a mutant that shatters him. It's what makes him crack in the episode. He starts screaming, runs away, and shouts that he, 'doesn't want to hear anymore.' This is Donnie's breaking point. Her sharp tongue and words, over her actions like kissing Casey, that is Donnie's true biggest fear.

Donnie doesn't want to be with April purely because he loves her. To Donnie, it would be more than April simply making a choice on who to partner up with. It would be confirmation for Donnie that the issue all along was because he's a mutant.

The point I'm trying to make is that Donnie is obsessed with trying to improve his own self-image than actually liking April.

He wants to use April as a means to prove someone could love him despite appearances because, as I said earlier, looks are important to a lot of people. Gaining a romantic partner would most likely grant Donnie the confidence, the consolidation that he 'isn't ugly after all' because he managed to gain a partner. That is why he so desperately chases after April.

He chases after the feeling of confidence.

His character kills me.

Welcome back to a re-written 2012 Donatello analysis!

I have posted a 2012 Donnie analysis here previously discussing his obsessional behaviour, and it was quite well received. However, it is not as put together as I would've liked it to be. Vague ideas were mashed into a post after I ranted about aspects of his character to an online friend.

But, I've had some more time to think - this will be a bit longer, and cover some different scenes and ideas, as well as repeating some of the things in my previous analysis - in general, hopefully a more concise and enjoyable analysis of his character.

: IMPORTANT NOTE : To make it clear, I do not support stalking/obsessive behaviour - whatever the reason behind it may be - and I do not want to make it seem like I am infantilizing Donnie in this analysis.

The whole point of this analysis is that I like to be aware of characters' less-than-ideal traits and discuss what the root cause of them might be. The possible/suggested causes does not excuse this behaviour, rather explains it. And people should still be held accountable if they have made another person upset/uncomfortable.

Without further ado, onto the analysis.

I think Donnie's biggest issue is how he looks.

In the 2012 iteration, we never really see any of the turtles have a strong desire to be human, to change how they already are. Mikey sometimes doesn't understand that humans will be scared of him, (Like when he tries to return a cat to its owner, dismissing his brothers when they warn him the owner would be scared of him) but Mikey never has a big moment and lashes out like, ‘I want to be a human so I can make more friends!’

We also see Mikey wonder what he'd look like as a human in an episode after Donnie creates retro-mutagen, in which Mikey assumes he'd turn into a human instead of a regular turtle if he were to use retro-mutagen on himself. It is played as a joke though, as he is seen smiling in the scene following and doesn't seem to show any true disappointment/distress etc towards being how he already is - a mutant.

Raph openly declares himself as ‘handsome’ in Season 1, Episode 2 - so that rules out Raphael, and I don't remember any scenes with Leo being upset or having a negative view attached to being a mutant but please correct me if I'm wrong.

Interestingly enough, Donatello seems to have the most trouble coming-to-terms with the fact that he's a mutant and can't change that out of his brothers.

Outside of being a mutant, it is implied that Donnie already has a fragile self-image anyway.

Remember the episode Turtle Temper? I think it's the third episode of the first season. But at one point, the other turtles are instructed to shoot arrows at Raphael while he has to try and avoid them - Splinter makes it clear, however - that the others are allowed to insult Raphael.

I've seen a content creator say that the insults they throw at Raphael could be more internalised opinions they have on themselves rather than genuinely thinking these crude things about their own brother - think of it like bullying, in the sense that you're often told ‘bullies like to make fun of others because they're insecure themselves’.

People often take out their anger about their insecurities and place them onto other people if given the chance.

Leo says, ‘And you're always whining, poor me, nobody understands me.’ While this is easily applicable to Raph as an insult from Leo, Leo has also had his own fair share of moments where he has gone to Splinter complaining that the others aren't respecting or listening to him, that they don't understand the burden he holds as leader.

Mikey tells Raph he moves like a bloated buffalo. In other words, you're slow. You can't keep up.

And Donnie says, ‘Oh! You can't keep your back straight during Omote Kote Gyaku! And you're ugly!’ I think the first part of this insult is what really hints this is more so them projecting views of themselves than genuinely insulting Raphael. Donnie, out of all of them, is most likely to feel insecure about his height, a lot of teenagers can feel awkward or uncomfortable as a result of their growth spurts, tall individuals are also more prone to slouching.

Donnie also probably spends quite a lot of time hunched at his lab desk, which could also contribute to his posture. I'm pretty sure he is also called ‘scrawny’ in an episode by Karai, but if not Karai, some other character, and Donnie responds, ‘And I'm not scrawny! I'm svelte!’

Raph has also insulted Donnie's looks before, and, although it is unclear if it's a common occurrence, knowing Raph's character it has most likely happened on more than one occasion.

Donnie : And why do you keep grabbing me by the face? What is wrong with my face?!

Raph : Do you want me to list the reasons alphabetically or in descending order of grossness?

So regardless of being mutated or not, it seems like Donnie just has a generalised lack of confidence and some issues surrounding how tall he is.

But onto his issues regarding being mutated.

Donnie might’ve previously not had any issues with being a mutant. Before, it might’ve been just a general lack of confidence, as I have already said. Before April, his brothers would've been the only thing to compare himself to. He lived in a home with only mutants for fifteen years of his life - so had normal teenage issues of going through puberty and insecurities. Tons of people dislike their growth spurts, which is why Donnie's issues at first might seem like normal things for a teenager to worry about. Donnies biggest issue was how scrawny and lanky he saw himself.

But when they meet April, there is a glaring difference.

Suddenly, there is somebody in his life who isn't a mutant like him. It becomes abundantly clear to Donnie that from somebody else's viewpoint, their biggest issue with him wouldn't be his tooth gap or his height, but the plain fact that he's so different. Inhuman. Out of the ordinary. A mutant.

In ‘Mutagen Man Unleashed!’ Donnie says, ‘I'm worse than a nerd - I'm a freak! We're all total and complete freaks-’ This shows that Donnie went from having individual and relatable insecurities to believing that simply being a mutant inherently means you are ugly.

Especially when you consider the fact that, individual-traits-wise, Donnie and Casey both share the same traits, they both have issues with their teeth, and they’re both scrawny and fairly tall - realistically Donnie should believe they're on somewhat equal grounds of ‘unattractive’ qualities, but Donnie seems to believe Casey is naturally at an unfair advantage because he’s human.

As I said, Donnie has begun to associate his very being with ugliness, and so sees Casey as a threat thinking April will lean more towards Casey for the sole fact he's human. Donnie doesn't think that perhaps Casey's behaviour or the way he treats April is what might potentially win her over - when Donnie is ranting to Mutagen Man about why April might be hanging out with some punk kid (Casey) the conclusion he comes to is ‘because he's human, that's why.’

With a smile on his face and a look of anger in his eyes, the way he phrases it and his expression almost comes across as, ‘I knew it.’ It's like he's self-validating his presumptions at this moment.

Donnie tends to get scarily territorial over April, even going as far to try and forcibly push the two apart when April and Casey hug at the beginning of ‘A China-Town Ghost Story’, seemingly oblivious to the fact he could also possibly harm April in his shoving.

If he genuinely loved and cared about April as a person, he'd be more concerned about the fact he could hurt her - instead his eyes are on Casey this whole scene - his competition, the threat, the thing that might make his fears a reality.

Looks are a very important part of gaining a partner in society, Donnie might not love April as a person. Rather, he sees her as a piece of evidence that could potentially soothe his insecurities. If he wins her like some prize, it'd be like saying, ‘Look! I'm not ugly after all because someone wanted to be my girlfriend!’

If he loses April to Casey, it’d be confirming his idea that mutants, as a whole, are ugly.

This whole root cause of his obsessive and almost protective nature over April and wanting to keep her away from Casey really comes to light in the Season 2 episode, ‘Fungus Humungous’ where mutated fungi spreading across the sewers make our heroes hallucinate their worst fears.

Donnie has two scenes displaying his fears. The first is one of April, with sharp teeth and white eyes, and is a lot bigger than him. Which creates a feeling of inferiority, ‘Levels’ is a technique used in theatre. It refers to the use of different heights and positions to convey certain messages. It's often used to indicate status or communicate character relationships.

Here, it's a perceived relationship that Donnie has between himself and April. Donnie doesn't think mutants and humans are equal, Donnie truly believes that mutants are smaller or not as important as humans and his fear represents that visually by the way his vision of April quite literally looms over him.

Donnie doesn't think mutants are good enough. It's like the nerd not being good enough to hook up with the pretty, popular girl - reflecting back on what Donnie said earlier - ‘I'm worse than a nerd, I'm a freak.’ If we think of it on a ladder of ‘not being good enough’ he thinks being nerdy puts him below on that ladder, but right at the bottom, worse than being a nerd, is being a mutant. And that's why his vision of April is so ginormous. She's right at the top of that perceived hierarchy that Donnie has built up.

This vision of April calls Donnie an ‘ugly mutant freak’ it's unlikely April actually thinks this, but it's what Donnie thinks she does.

The next scene we see is a vision of a bunch of tiny April's kissing Casey.

I think it's noteworthy that the ‘ugly mutant freak’ part comes before the kissing Casey part. The two scenes are quite literally split into ‘Words’ and ‘Actions’. In the first scene, April has a sharp tongue that is used like a whip, going through Donnie's heart and subsequently breaking it.

‘To have a sharp tongue’ means being critical of someone, speaking in a way that is unkind though often clever. I think this shows that, over anything, it is April's words that break his heart more than her actions like kissing Casey. Mutants being seen as freaks is his actual biggest fear. He just doesn't want those fears to be confirmed - which is why that scene of April kissing Casey comes after.

This fear of humanities' dislike and rejection towards mutants existed before Casey came into the picture, he just became a threat and therefore added to Donnie's worries which is why Casey makes an appearance, but he isn't the main problem.

The first scene is what truly makes Donnie crack, he starts screaming, runs away, and shouts that he ‘doesn't want to hear anymore.’

-

In Season 3, an episode titled, ‘A Foot Too Big’ when Donnie starts to apologise for his behaviour, he says ‘I'm just… a mutant.’ The word ‘just’ implies that being a mutant is all Donnie has boiled himself down to, he doesn't think his other traits are worthwhile, like him being loyal, inventive, and funny because at the end of the day he thinks nobody will be able to see him outside of being a freak and therefore doesn’t care about other aspects of himself.

When April kisses Donnie at the end of this episode, he doesn't even seem to enjoy it like he usually does. Which is odd for Donnie, as he normally gets excited or gloats about being kissed by April to Casey. I know people say he's confused because April has a habit of leading both Donnie and Casey on, but I think the words she says right before she kisses him is what confuses him.

‘You're not just a mutant, Donnie, you're my mutant.’

The whole point of the episode is that Donnie is supposed to get a taste of his own medicine, where Bigfoot is following Donnie around. But Bigfoot is a monster. Donnie’s behaviour is being parallelled in a monster.

When Donnie is told, ‘now you know how April feels’ by Raph, he partly comes to the realisation that April feels like he is clingy and love bombs her with gifts, (Like how Bigfoot follows Donnie around and consistently makes Donnie soup) but Donnie also acknowledges that April is being followed around by something inhuman and that might play a part in making her uncomfortable.

If we, as the audience, are meant to look at Bigfoot as a parallel to Donnie, that should also include Bigfoot's other traits and the way other characters act toward her that prove Donnie feels ugly.

Bigfoot wants to look better and feels ugly. When she believes she is not good enough for Donnie, she asks April to help her give herself a ‘makeover’ before trying to show Donnie affection again.

Other characters, such as Leo and Casey, also make fun of how Bigfoot looks, with Casey asking, ‘You think she's his type?’ As a crude joke. Donnie has had his looks made fun of before, and his brothers seem to share similar sentiments that Donnie doesn't have a shot with April and thinks of his crush to be a waste of time - the other characters react the same way to Bigfoot's crush on Donnie.

And so when Donnie apologises to April, he not only feels the need to acknowledge his overbearing nature, but also to apologise for simply being the way he is, knowing she might feel embarrassed or uncomfortable that a ‘creature’ that has no shot with her is drooling over her and following her around.

After all, Donnie felt embarrassed when Bigfoot kissed him, and all of his peers laughed at him.

When Donnie was kissed in Target: April O’ Neil, it was directly after Donnie was thanked for his actions in saving April, and it made him feel good about himself in general, shouting ‘I looooove being a turtle!’ which is a rare instance of Donnie showing a positive attitude towards being how he is. Being loved in itself and being thanked for something understandable made him feel confident.

Donnie believes April likes Casey for being human, so when April says she likes him because he's mutant - for what he is, not who he is, it confuses him. Donnie thinks April doesn't care about who Casey is either, but Donnie thought he'd never be on equal grounds with Casey in terms of what he is, again, because he thinks mutants are lesser than.

He believes and everyone else around him believes that because he is a mutant he had no chance, at the beginning of the episode Raph said, ‘She's a girl, you're a giant talking turtle.’

Donnie believed who he was didn't matter because he thought what he was would make people dislike him.

And in April's words, who he is still doesn't matter, but she's showing a positive attitude towards him being a mutant. That's what confuses him so much.

April doesn't forgive Donnie’s apology for his obsessive behaviour, she forgives his apology for being different. April doesn’t say something like, ‘But you’re smart, loyal, determined,’ before kissing him, she says, ‘You’re my mutant’ before kissing him.

Donnie has never received positive comments from April about good aspects of his personality, or even comments about enjoying spending time with him - times Donnie has been kissed, hugged, and/or received comments of praise from April has been directly after acts of service where Donnie puts himself in danger for her wants/needs;

(Operation: Breakout, Season 1, in which Donnie goes on a solo mission to rescue April's father) When Donnie works tirelessly to resolve her wants/needs, (Donnie's several attempts to make retro-mutagen for her father) or when Donnie has literally almost died, (waking up after Donnie came close to dying in Dream Beavers, and after coming back post being molecularly scattered in ‘The Power Inside Her’)

This creates an extremely negative correlation in which receiving affection comes after self-sacrificing behaviour, putting her needs over his, or near death experiences, especially when you consider how Donnie's more tame and realistic attempts at affection are met with abandonment, dismissal, or odd looks.

When Donnie tries to offer hugs to April, she looks at him oddly, and Donnie quickly switches to ruffling her hair, and he seems to go stiff and looks anxious/awkward after. When Donnie calls her a nickname she agrees to ignore what was just said. When Donnie makes her a music box at the beginning of ‘A Foot Too Big’ she makes the excuse of needing to train and leaves Donnie by himself instead of addressing the issue if she didn't like the gift.

Hugs, nicknames, and gift-giving are met with negative responses that create negative feelings in himself as well.

Self sacrificing behaviour is met with positive reactions from April, as well as positive reactions from those around him as the action usually resolves some sort of problem (like Donnie rescuing April's father, the creation of Retro-mutagen) and even Splinter telling Donnie to ‘never give up hope’ in regards to pursuing April.

So Donnie now has two things to associate kisses/hugs with:

Self sacrificing behaviour.

Being a mutant.

And he doesn't understand.

-

I honestly think Don Vizioso is a physical manifestation of how Donnie feels. I always thought it to be a bit weird that a villain and a main character shared similar names, as Donnie has also been called ‘Don’ in the series as a nickname before.

Don Vizioso believed that mutants are freaks of nature that don't belong, a scientific mystery to be studied, which is scarily the same ideas that Donnie has about mutants.

Don Vizioso’s restaurant is the only building we see in the whole series with a ‘No Mutants’ sign. Donnie has a preconceived notion that the whole world is against mutants, in truth, barely anybody knows about them to say that’s true. All that hatred for what mutants are and the belief that mutants shouldn’t be accepted anywhere is all contained within Don Vizioso’s restaurant. Contained in Donnie’s mind.

I find it no coincidence that Donnie is the one to be put into a dehumanising situation and almost be dissected by Don Vizioso.

‘Vizioso’ translated into English, means things like depraved, vicious, immoral, and the next time Donnie has a run in with Vizioso, how is his actions perceived? Immoral. Vicious. He's quite literally going on a killing spree to face his own ideas, to confront Don Vizioso, his own anger and violence.

When Donnie is about to kill off Vizioso, Leo tells him to not lose sight of who he is, which makes Donnie pause.

Donnie believes mutants aren't ever going to be accepted by humans, that they're freaks. And nobody wants to believe that, he wants to erase those violent thoughts toward himself and other mutants by killing Don Vizioso, a manifestation of his own opinions - but if he kills, he is just going to prove what he thinks humans assume mutants are. Vicious monsters.

And that isn't who Donnie is, Leo reminds him of that. Maybe those negative thoughts of him being a freak won't go away, and maybe humans would actually think they're monsters if they ever got exposed - but if Donnie feeds into violent behaviours he's making those thoughts into true statements.

Donnie knows a killer isn't who he is, and in that moment Leo reminds him of that, he comes to terms with his mindset and realises he has the power to change how he thinks in a more healthy way, deciding not to kill Don Vizioso.

If you're part of a minority/marginalised group, you may struggle with things like internalised homophobia, racism, and ableism because of the way the society around you has built negative stereotypes around those groups. You may hate your own thoughts and hate the world for making you think that way.

It can be hard. If you act out in violence, unlike white, or straight, or able-bodied people, you are more likely to have your differences blamed for your violent behaviours. You feed into people’s stereotypes and negative ideas of certain groups unintentionally. If you struggle with internalised ableism, racism, homophobia/transphobia, the first step is coming to terms with your mindset, and finding a healthy way to accept who you are, and know that stereotypes and preconceived notions don't change you.

Never lose sight of who you are.

-

END SUMMARY:

2012 Donatello is a character with a complex and negative perception of who he is, with many things contributing to that fact.

At the end of the day, Donnie doesn’t seem to actively be after love or April as a person, rather simply a feeling of equality and confidence in general.

He wants to prove his thoughts that mutants are ugly wrong by gaining April as a girlfriend, aware that in society looks heavily contribute to having a romantic partner. Donnie seems to be afraid of humans rejecting mutants in general, but because April is the first human he has a personal relationship with, it’s shown through her.

As for equality, in relationships it's expected that you are treated equally and that no one is superior or inferior to the other, you both have equal say. Donnie is shown to feel that mutants are inferior and not good enough for humans, as shown by how much larger April is than him in his hallucination, and may also crave some sort of feeling of equality by getting into a relationship with someone he deems to be superior than him.

Donnie has also claimed April as some sort of thing to own, in the episode, ‘The Gauntlet’ by saying ‘There's a creature out there trying to hurt my April’ but apologetically changes it to just ‘April’ after he notices April's raised eyebrow at the choice of words. However, when April calls him ‘my mutant’ in ‘A Foot Too Big’ she doesn't stick around to see if he even likes it, or still wants to be in a potential relationship with her after the apology, quickly walking away.

And Donnie definitely doesn't seem to like it, being left confused and upset.

LEAVING NOTE : Thank you for reading, and I hope it was a bit more in - depth and well explained than the last analysis! I just want to say this isn't an attack on April’s character either - the writing isn't great in 2012, each character has noteworthy flaws and I don't think one character's behaviour is ultimately worse than another, including April's. Both her and Donnie are flawed, just like other characters, and I love them both.

Donnie while saying 'Because he's human, that's why.'

Donnie, at the end of 'A Foot Too Big.'

I’m in the works of stuff but need motivation 🤪 might post some of my incorrect quotes too

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”