Running On 3 Ibuprofen And Spite

when your mother casually tells you "all this heat is God's preparation to send all of humanity back to hell" at breakfast you know it's a point of no return

Yes I will attempt to learn a language for the only reason that I saw a great movie in that language. No I do not how to swedish

You guys ever want to, like, sleep for a month or two and then wake up

All of you who say your girlfriends are like the sun you are wrong. My girlfriend is like the sun

"...let us be finished—"

in the small town I grew up in people used to refer to the action of putting alcohol in beverages as baptizing. like oh can you give me some of your coke. yeah but it's baptized. and that meant probably half of it was vodka or some shit

anyways yesterday I forgot the word baptized leading me to state that my drink was fucking sanctified

I do not live in my hometown anymore

went out with this man (derogatory) to eat in a fancy restaurant just the two of us and ended up on a sidewalk bar with three of his friends which included a lol player straight rupaul and a facist twink

do you want to play substance abuse with me after work

I wasn't a 'gifted kid', I was a child who grew up feeling like she had to give something in order to be loved.