‘Tsundoku: A Pile Of Books Waiting To Be Read’ #books #bookstagram #reading #words

me: i do not have time to read 30 pages of this textbook that's ridiculous

me: *reads 100k fic*

first years: all these upperclassmen are so intimidating and cool

me: hey wanna watch me score a FULL COMBO on an expert song in this anime taptap game

first years: not that one

Stop Ryan

7 Things I Wish Parents Would Stop Teaching Their Children:

That nudity is inherently sexual

That people should be judged for their personal decisions

That yelling solves problems

That they are too young to be talking about the things they’re already starting to ask questions about

That age correlates to importance

That interacting with someone of the opposite sex is inherently romantic

That the default for someone is straight and cisgender

me at night: tomorrow i'm gonna wake up early and start with a run and then i'm gonna go over my notes and drink a super healthy protein shake and eat fruit and work on ME i'm gonna dress so nice and be extra kind and study hard tomorrow i am gonna OWN this :)

me in the morning: no.

i’d like to formally call myself out on being such a needy and emotionally confusing person

The signs as things my dad has said to me

Aries: “Tell the cops to wait, I’m playing Call of Duty.”

Taurus: “Fuck it, I’m going to Canada.”

Gemini: “COME HOME THIS INSTANT I ACCIDENTALLY MADE 144 COOKIES.”

Cancer:  (playing cod) “I can’t hear you over the sound of me kicking all these twelve-year-olds’ asses.”

Leo: (pointing to a bruise on my hand) “Is that a hickey?”

Virgo:  “Don’t tell your mom, but I’m happy for the gays.”

Libra: “Sad movies are dumb.  I don’t want to pay ten dollars to cry for two hours.  I do that every day for free.”

Scorpio: “I want the board to change my job title from CEO to supreme leader.”

Saggitarius: “The only reason I have a facebook is to embarass your mom.”

Capricorn: “I have a crush on Eric Dane.”

Aquarius: “I’m hiding from your mother because I just told her to fight me and I’m scared she’ll win.”

Pisces: “When I die, make sure I get a viking funeral.  If I’m getting cremated, I’m getting cremated like a badass.”

Staff: Show your followers your likes!

Me: Bitch, imma be kinkshamed to all hell if