I Say Shit Like "If My Memory Serves Me" Knowing Damn Well It Serves The Dark Lord

no sentence fills me with utter loathing so much as "i asked chatgpt"

the thing about the "um excuse me if you're as poor as you say you are why don't you just sell all your most treasured possessions" thing that people love to trot out as some kind of "gotcha" is that they do not acknowledge how fucking soul-crushing it is to be in a situation that is already destroying your mental health and then be forced to sell one of the few things in your life that still bring you joy

I have waiting to come across this one

klaus got sober, finally got sober but was made a germaphobe. he was ridiculed for finally having his shit together but having weird coping mechanisms for it. then he was made to spiral again and then killed off. he got his life on track, was an exceptional uncle/second parent to his niece and then they made him sell his body for drugs and inevitably killed him off as a junkie.

luther, who was the leader, who was smart enough to be an astronaut could amount to nothing without his powers except from being a stripper. he had absolutely nothing and no one, even sloan was ripped away from him and then he, too was killed off. lonely and unaccomplished.

ben was brought back, finally alive, granted not the same ben but he wore the same face and he had a family who could annoy him into shape but he stayed a dick, became a apocalyptic monster and credited for the destruction of all the branching timelines, and died as a monster that he was so afraid of becoming.

alison got her happy life but couldn’t sustain it. her husband left her but at least she got to have claire and for that i can give credit but she remained codependent on klaus to be her passion project that made her feel better. she never learnt why that was not healthy and then died without her daughter.

diego had this beautiful life, a family that called him their own, three kids and wife who called him darling, and love and then he was made to fuck it all up because of some obsession with the CIA, in service of a romance between his wife and brother because the creator thought an old man needed some romance. he wasn’t even shown saying goodbye to his kids.

lila left behind her assassin ways, she stopped being batshit crazy and ultra suspicious to settle down with a man she genuinely and wholeheartedly loved and trusted, only to throw it all away because his younger (and yet much older) brother found her a timeline with strawberries. she was made to give up her kids, her family, her happy fucking life when all she ever wanted was to not be alone.

viktor got dealt the worst hand, always. he was abused vehemently by his father and ignored and relegated due to no fault of his own. he was made to feel ugly and broken and small but then he realised that his family loved him even if his father didn’t. he got a chance at being normal and he took it, only for it to be stripped away from him so that he could sacrifice his life for a world that was never kind to him. he was made to reconcile with his abusive father and then promptly erased out of existence.

five. my dearest boy, young man, old fool, five. he survived an apocalypse after another. fought tooth and nail to keep his family alive and well and dedicated his entire life to make sure of it. only for all his efforts to be made futile and his snark to be mellowed. he made it his life mission to keep the world safe and his family safe only for all that to be stripped away from his character and made into a lovesick fool who abandoned them during the final battle to mope about his brother’s wife not liking him back.

there were so many character assassinations this season, GoT writers would be proud of dear old steve.

katniss’s dad single-handedly securing the bag for his future daughter and the entire future free world of panem

Glass Onion’s murder mystery game

Obsessed with Miles Bron in Glass Onion choosing a murder mystery game as the entertainment for his private weekend getaway with his closest friends. An activity to provide structure to what would otherwise be 3 days lazing about on a Greek isle with his “friends.” A game that requires an intensive weekend of solo investigation and observation and puzzle-solving…which Miles himself will not have to participate in. 

Miles has assigned his “friends” homework for their weekend holiday. And their assigned task is to labor and compete to impress him by solving a mystery. It’s no coincidence that the mystery game compels his friends to work separately. He has isolated his friends so that he can remain their individual focus. Note that Miles hasn’t bothered to come up with an actual prize for the winner…because to his mind, the ultimate prize is Miles’s respect. He’s flummoxed and insulted when Benoit Blanc requests a physical reward—and something as comparably worthless as an iPad.

So of course Miles’s friends are relieved when Benoit Blanc blows up the game. Because it means the pressure to perform is off. The pressure to provide the entertainment for Miles, because make no mistake, they’ve been invited to the island to entertain Miles and keep him happy. Honestly, ever since they took his side in the trial, that invitation has become a summons. Can you imagine any of them declining his invitation? It’s a luxury vacation, sure…but it’s also a summons to perform a jester’s dance before King Miles, who can easily destroy them if they fail to show their gratitude/fealty.

Miles’s response to the game ending early is to ask, horrified, “What am I supposed to do now? Play Yahtzee all weekend?” Heaven forbid he enjoy spending unstructured time with his closest friends in the lap of luxury! But to a narcissist like Miles Bron, any moment when the attention isn’t on him must be Hell. And that’s why his murder mystery game was the perfect plan to make his friends compete for his approval, while he sat back and enjoyed the show.

Brooklyn nine nine does this well with Jake and Gina

I’m begging, just ONCE can we have the boy and girl childhood best friend be genuinely happy for the other when one of them finds a significant other?? I’m so sick of these jealousy arcs and romantic crises that always involve being indecisive about who to choose like GOD just have a boy and girl be friends unquestioningly PLEASE.

A show or movie doesn't need to have a unique story. It only needs to be good at telling it's story.

One of my favorite moments while reading Emma is when Mr. John Knightley is absolutely flabbergasted that Mr. Weston would rather attend a party with several people than sit at home near a fire.

You and me both Mr. Knightley