Happy Birthday To My Baby Boy

Fic Idea

Sam keeps making fun of Dean for using hookup apps cause he thinks his profile is cringe. Dean says it works and that it's hard to find people his age anyways

An argument happens and ends with Sam saying he could totally find Dean a date easy as pie

Cut to a week later, Sam sets Dean up on a blind date with someone at a restaurant that is too nice for Dean's liking. But he's here to prove Sam wrong.

Besides, Sam said he would pay for it, but that if things go well, Dean has to pay him back with interest

Only Dean's reception puts him at the wrong table with some dude in a trenchcoat. And now he's thinking this has all been one massive prank by his brother

Meanwhile, Castiel, after having a shitty week, decided to treat himself. The restaurant had a specially honey cake, and damn it, he deserved it

But before he can even order, some random guy sits at his table, asks Castiel if "Sammy" put him up to this, and is overall being a pain in the ass

Castiel is tired, Dean is frustrated, and Sam is back home, confident that Dean would like Cassie Robinson

it's season 16. destiel is fully reciprocated canon. dean and cas are swapping spit when cas pulls back to say in a very low and serious tone, "the fact that you are biologically male is of No Consequence. i will impregnate you, dean winchester." dean's eyes widen, he's confused and lowkey scared but also weirdly flattered and pathetically turned on

I'VE ACTUALLY RUSHED TO MAKE THIS

Man has his husband returned to him and suddenly he doesn't want to kill himself anymore

3 episodes in and they're already looking at each other like this that's crazy

...Looks like Naomi's gotta go reset the brainwashing screwdriver again.

I'm almost positive someone has done this before (and loads better), but it's all I could think about during my recent Ignore-Reality-And-Watch-TV-Season 8 rewatch. To be fair, there are so many K-words. Cas could easily get confused with so many Deans around.

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fuck infantilized cas, there needs to be more weird castiel content. castiel who’s a little fucked up and unintentionally unsettling. who doesn’t blink or break eye contact. who just stares at roadkill and dead bodies they come across on hunts. give me castiel with repressed sexuality that starts expressing itself in strange ways. give me perverts by ethel cain. give me pulldrone.

he’s viewing the human experience from an unbiased standpoint. he’s a 4 dimensional being stuffed into a 3 dimensional body. he is older than humanity as a whole. Why don’t you guys make him weird?

Dean: The whole Cas thing must be pretty shocking huh

Mary: Not really, you had a crush on a little boy at your preschool

Dean, choking on his beer: what

Mary: *shrugs*

Dean: I was talking about angels being real?????

Mary: Oh. Yeah that was pretty weird