I Like Shipping People That Almost Nobody Ever Thought Of Shipping Together And Have The Potential To

I'm starting to get really interested in exploring the depths and realms of a sub Voldemort...

Collection of Harrydore Recs

I recommend that you read some Andrea Dworkin, Laura Bates, Kate Manne, Angela Davis, or Soraya Chemaly to help expand your horizons, because the authors you mentioned clearly failed to engage your brain in any critical way that would make you realize that, yes, a word created to degrade an oppressed group of people, in this case women, is a slur.

Perhaps you'll also encounter a new term of the week: 'internalized misogyny.'

I love it when Marauders stans try to portray Lily as the ultimate feminist icon when any woman with half a brain and even the most basic understanding of gender studies knows that you’d be safer locked in a cage with a hungry lion than with a rich brat who publicly strips people and blackmails you into dating him in exchange for not committing sexual assault. Like, what world do you even live in? Seriously?

I think Harmony could genuinely work. It's so interesting. Especially post war with emotional infidelity. I can only enjoy it without Ron bashing tho.

Sirius Black is a loser.

But like I said there isn't anything that proves Lily isn't mediocre in personality. She is a normal person without anything special that would tie her to Voldemort. Her traits of stubornness and cold streak are traits any person can have. You implied she would be a better match for Voldemort than Harry just because they wouldn't clash but that would mean she has the same personality as Harry does which is not true at all. Harry has been through hell. He is used to danger therefore he wouldn't crush under Voldemort's will. His psyche is trained to withstand danger and Voldemort's antics. Lily would crush because she grew up to be a normal person with normal reactions. She cannot relate to Voldemort in any way. They have no path that would allow them to connect. It would all be just manipulations on Voldemort's part. She also wasn't abused. Just because she has a great knack for intuitive magic does not mean she has the right personality to match with Voldemort's. It is implied she is insecure and the interactions we have of her do not prove her supposed genius. It seems like she makes exactly the same judgements as Harry does. Like when she said to Snape he should be grateful to James for saving him. She seems to go along with the crowd and allow others to influence her easily. I feel like part of her insecurity is that she wants a social standing and to belong. And also if she was as magically powerful as you said we would definitely see or hear more proof of that no? There is not much about her that Voldemort would find impressive or worthy of interest either. He would probably find her easy to manipulate and use. She would be scared of him and see him as just a monster because they have nothing in common and nothing to relate to in the other. What my main point is also is just because a character is implied to be talented does not mean they are a good fit to be shipped with an other talented person. That does not guarantee a good dynamic or chemistry. What creates that dynamic is personality. The reason they would not work is because of very different life experiences and life perspective. And also because Voldemort wouldn't want to connect with someone he doesn't find relatable. And what seems to work in Voldemort ships the most is when he can relate to the other person or they have something deep in common. The path to him respecting someone opens when they can somehow understand him. There is not a person that understands him more than Harry - that is confirmed in the canon text. Lily has nothing that would make him respect her humanity. Her magic means nothing too because tomarry also doesn't work because of Harry's talent and like you said he and Lily share the same talent. Tomarry works for the many different reasons I mentioned in my text and Lily simply doesn't have that. I really don't understand your perspective sorry.

hello! i was wondering whether or not you can envision someone as better suited for tom/voldemort since i remember you saying neither harry nor hermione would be a match — them being the most popular two characters shipped with tom. and on that note, what do you think about bellatrix and voldemort? pro/against?

i tend to get a bit blindsided by the sheer obsession she has for him, honestly. i mean… i feel like she would be willing to shape herself down to the last atom to what appeals to him, if he ever were to show any true interest, and that’s very… sad.

Hello 👋

Thank you for the ask and as with all ship asks, ship what you ship, these are just my subjective opinions.

Now, what I said about Tomarrymort is that I don't think they would realistically get together and have a functioning relationship, I didn't say it wasn't fun. Like, I love Tomarrymort, but only if the relationship is a messy push and pull that makes everyone (both involved and uninvolved) miserable.

Now, as for Bellamort...

Do I think they had sex at some point in canon? Maybe. Like, that's not the most absurd thing about CC for me, so I consider it plausible.

Do I think Voldemort actually likes Bella romantically? Not really.

Do I think their relationship works like an actual equal functional relationship? Not one bit.

Do I think their relationship is entertaining and interesting? I mean, clearly, many people do, but I don't like Bellamort.

Like, it really doesn't interest me. There's a reason I only like Tomarrymort when there's a push and pull and Harry and Tom are portrayed as the equals they are. Like, I don't like Tomarrymort where Harry is completely submissive to Voldemort and Bellamort for the same reason — these aren't the kind of relationships that make Tom interesting.

I like both Tom and Bellatrix a lot as individuals, but I don't think a romantic and/or sexual relationship between them pushes their characters to interesting places. They are both stagnate in this relationship and, for me personally, that just doesn't interest me.

Like, Bellatrix is completely submissive to Voldemort nodding her head excitedly and panting after him: "Yes my lord! Whatever you say, my lord!" And this is not the type of dynamic that'd push either character towards growth. They don't push each other into a character arc, which is what I usually like my ships to do.

Additionally, this dynamic basically means Voldemort always gets what he wants, and Bellatrix is happy with it, as you said, she'd shape herself for his every whim. This isn't a relationship between equals. It's a relationship where she worships him and he doesn't respect her or care about her as a person. Like, at all.

The dynamic we see from them in the books gave me the impression Voldemort cares about Bellatrix. He doesn't want her to be hurt or to die:

Bellatrix’s gloating smile froze, her eyes began to bulge: For the tiniest space of time she knew what had happened, and then she toppled, and the watching crowd roared, and Voldemort screamed.

(DH)

But he cares about her like how you care about your favorite pet. He relished in giving her orders and having her submit completely:

“Master, I am sorry, I knew not, I was fighting the Animagus Black!” sobbed Bellatrix, flinging herself down at Voldemort’s feet as he paced slowly nearer. “Master, you should know —” “Be quiet, Bella,” said Voldemort dangerously. “I shall deal with you in a moment. Do you think I have entered the Ministry of Magic to hear your sniveling apologies?” “But Master — he is here — he is below —” Voldemort paid no attention.

(OotP)

He doesn't actually care about her being hurt if it's not too bad, he doesn't care about her feelings or apologies, especially not when Harry is right in front of him — his obsession, his one failure. Bellatrix takes a backseat, basically always. He doesn't care about her all that much. He cares and respects her like a loyal dog, not like a person he has a relationship with.

He also relished in humiliating and embarrassing her. He likes making fun of her in ways Bella clearly does not enjoy, which isn't something you'd do to someone you love:

“I’m talking about your niece, Bellatrix. And your, Lucius and Narcissa. She has just married the werewolf, Remus Lupin. You must be so proud.” There was an eruption of jeering laughter from around the table. Many leaned forward to exchange gleeful looks, a few thumped the table with their fists. The great snake, disliking the disturbance, opened its mouth and hissed angrily, but the Death Eaters did not hear it, so jubilant where that at Bellatrix and the Malfoys’ humiliation. Bellatrix’s face, so recently flushed with happiness, had turned an ugly, blotchy red.

(DH)

she's desperate to please him, to tell him everything she thinks he wants to hear and she happily lets him treat her like fucking dirt. I don't find a relationship like that compelling, as I said, Voldemort would never change for Bellatrix and Bellatrix honestly deserves better than this. He even lets other Death Eaters jeer and laugh at her, this is not a romantic relationship.

Like even if he had sex with her, it was purely physical as he just doesn't care about her as a person like this. As more than a faithful servant (which he enjoys making fun of, as he does so for many of them).

And he is unwilling to show her real, unintentional weakness or ask her for help:

“My Lord, let me—” “I do not require assistance,” said Voldemort coldly, and though he could not see it, Harry pictured Bellatrix withdrawing a helpful hand.

(DH)

He does trust her with one of his Horcrux as the cup is kept in her vault and she seems to know what it is:

“Be quiet! The situation is graver than you can possibly imagine, Cissy! We have a very serious problem!” She stood, panting slightly, looking down at the sword, examining its hilt. Then she turned to look at the silent prisoners. “If it is indeed Potter, he must not be harmed,” she muttered, more to herself than to the others. “The Dark Lord wishes to dispose of Potter himself. . . . But if he finds out . . . I must . . . I must know. . . .”

(DH)

He trusts her loyalty, and she is one of his preferred Death Eaters (he doesn't hate her like he does Wormtail, Tom appreciates courage and loyalty, which are both traits Bellatrix possesses) but he clearly doesn't trust her with his backstory in the first war:

“Shut your mouth!” Bellatrix shrieked. “You dare speak his name with your unworthy lips, you dare besmirch it with your half-blood’s tongue, you dare —” “Did you know he’s a half-blood too?” said Harry recklessly. Hermione gave a little moan in his ear. “Voldemort? Yeah, his mother was a witch but his dad was a Muggle — or has he been telling you lot he’s pureblood?” “STUPEF —” “NO!” A jet of red light had shot from the end of Bellatrix Lestrange’s wand, but Malfoy had deflected it. His spell caused hers to hit the shelf a foot to the left of Harry and several of the glass orbs there shattered. [...] “He dared — he dares —” shrieked Bellatrix incoherently. “— He stands there — filthy half-blood —”

(OotP)

She doesn't really know who Voldemort is. She worships the persona of Voldemort. She loves his lies and masks. She doesn't actually know Tom Riddle. And I don't think she could accept and love the real Tom Riddle behind the title of Voldemort — the poor but brilliant nerdy half-blood who craves recognition. She would find him pathetic.

It's basically Hinny, isn't it?

She adores his persona and fame and what people think he is without actually knowing or understanding him. She changes her personality to fit what she thinks his girl needs to be because she is so focused on being with him. And He likes that she doesn't get in his way and lets him do and say whatever without crying about it but doesn't care about her or her feelings nearly as much as people think.

Bellamort is just Hinny with a different skin, and I never liked Hinny.

Like Hinny, they don't know or understand each other, and it's clear Bella and Ginny care about Voldemort and Harry more than the boys care about them. Like, yes, Harry would be devastated if Ginny died, but he'd get over it way faster than he did about Sirius. Same for Voldemort, he cares about Bella, but not as an equal he understands and cares for the feelings of. Voldemort got over Bella's death fairly quickly as well, he's way more focused on Harry.

So, with all of this, who do I think is the best pairing for Voldemort?

If we're talking about canon characters who are actually characters in the books? Then Harry is my top choice. Harry is the only one Voldemort would see as an equal and can actually push and change Voldemort as much as Voldemort changes him. There is no other character in canon, I believe, who would be able to do this to the level Harry could. Their dynamic is just so mutually obsessive and tense that a relationship like that can't not change both of them in a myriad of interesting ways.

Though, I was thinking about it, and Severus/Voldemort have potential. Voldemort clearly respects Sev and his opinions more than the average Death Eater:

Snape did not speak. “Perhaps you already know it? You are a clever man, after all, Severus. You have been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must happen.” “My Lord—”

(DH)

He cares about him and regrets having to kill him:

Harry saw Snape’s face losing the little color it had left; it whitened as his black eyes widened, as the snake’s fangs pierced his neck, as he failed to push the enchanted cage off himself, as his knees gave way and he fell to the floor. “I regret it,” said Voldemort coldly

(DH)

Voldy is willing to forgive Sev for things he'd kill most for. They have so much shared experience (poor, muggle childhood in incredibly abusive environments) that would allow them to understand each other. They probably both get frustrated over pureblood idiocy. Both are intelligent and share many interests, like they're both magic nerds who'd talk all night about magical theory...

So, I think, under the right circumstances, Severus is a pretty good pairing for Voldemort.

The only real downside is that depending on when they get together, they'd push each other to be more extremist and overall worse. Like, they'd push each other to have less empathy for other people if they get together, say, during the first war. Well, it might not be a downside. It really depends on how you look at it.

If they get together in the second war, it's different, and in my opinion, more compelling and interesting for both of them. Like, pairing them up after Voldemort's return and after Sev already turned traitor opens so many interesting avenues. I mean, Sev was someone Voldemort actually regretted killing, that was remorse there, wasn't it? It means Severus could push Voldemort to change in a way Bellatrix doesn't. Because Voldemort respects Snape in a way he doesn't respect Bella. I mean, think about how many times Voldemort shut Bella down when she kept insisting Snape is a traitor — it's clear he values Snape more than he values her.

If we're also looking at side characters we don't know as much about, then we have some more options.

@iamnmbr3 has convinced me that Alphard Black/Tom Riddle is an option, and I have been very compelled by it. We don't know much about Alphard, but that never really stopped me because what we do know is interesting.

We know he is Sirius' uncle. He was born after Walburga but before Cygnus, probably closer in age to Walburga. So, I headcanon he was born in 1927 and was in the same year as Tom Riddle.

We know Alphard was a Slytherin since Sirius mentions all his family was in Slytherin, which would include his uncle. And we know Alphard was burned off the family tapestry when he gave Sirius money when Sirius ran away from home.

This leaves us with a character, who's cunning, capable of listening to his older sister Walburga go off about whatever without making the fight worse but has a spine to stand up to her bullshit when it's actually important. This gives him the right characteristics to be able to wrangle a character arc out of a romance with a younger Tom Riddle (and perhaps the older one, too).

He's a pureblood who's open-minded enough to support Sirius and not hate muggleborns (probably). He likely has the subtlety necessary to fix Tom without Tom feeling like he's being fixed. Alphard, used to his very eventful family, is an expert in dealing with dramatic people (like his siblings) and how to undercut their drama instead of pushing them further into their position (which is what Harry would do, for example. Harry and Tom would keep pushing at each other while someone like Alphard would be able to just remove the heat from the argument and allow it to not get as extreme).

Again, it's not much to go on, but it has so much potential.

(Also, @iamnmbr3 has this post about how Voldemort’s violence became worse in 1979, which happens to be the same year Alphard Black died, and while I don't agree with all the points made there, I find it to be a super fun concept)

Voldemort/Lily also has potential. She's smart, stubborn, academically inclined, and has the right rough edges to have the kind of push-and-pull dynamic with Voldemort that I like with Tomarrymort. Lily is probably the kind of witch Voldemort could grow to respect as well. I don't think he would've agreed to spare her for Snape if he didn't respect both of them. JKR also said he tried to recruit James and Lily, so, he was aware that she was talented.

I think, though, Lily/Voldemort would be slightly better than Harry/Voldemort in some aspects. Lily isn't as hot-headed as Harry. Lily's anger is usually much colder, which I feel would work better with Tom just because she wouldn't push all his buttons (just most of them). She would still push him into a character arc, but it would be a gentler nudge than if Harry did it.

My only real rule when shipping Tommy Boy is that he can't be shipped with someone mediocre, he'll just steamroll over them completely, and that's not as fun, in my opinion. He needs a partner he can grow to respect and see as an equal (or close to it) and that has the spine to stand up to him, otherwise, he'd just keep getting what he wants, and I think that's the opposite of what Voldemort needs in a relationship.

Harry is so gorgeous 🧎‍♀️🙏

men should start competing with each other in being good people. we get it, you run the fastest and punch the hardest and sex the brutalest. can you be good at the grownup stuff now? like impulse control and cooperation and self-awareness? can you find the big boy in you sometime soon? it’s fucking boring.

Perfect analysis.

Hello!

Fistly, I love your content <3

Secondly, do you think there were other reasons besides the difference in wealth, class and power as to why James and Sirius treated Severus the way they did?

They mock and humiliate him and reduce him to a toy, a doll to have fun with. But if that's all there is, they should torment him and leave, right? However, that does not happen. And this is the part I find odd. The way they watch him during the exam in the flashback (what business do they have watching someone write their paper?), the way Sirius' eyes follow him like a preditor to a rabbit when he spots Snape under the tree. James promises Lily to stop pranking people, but goes behind her back to get to Severus anyway. He dies for the tiniest chance that this woman may leave, but he betrays her trust that easily just to torment Snape more? It seems a bit obsessive to me, not just the typycal bullying,worse, something a bit off. Obsessive from James' side and then Sirius would follow his lead in any case. Ofc, I could be wrong about all of this.

What do you think?

<3

Oh, this is such a juicy question, and thanks for the kind words! ❤️

Buckle up, because we're diving deep into the murky waters of school bullying dynamics and why James and Sirius’s treatment of Severus isn’t your average schoolyard torment. (I love to made these type of meta because analyze violence is my cardio lol) This is gonna be looooooong:

At its core, bullying thrives on power imbalances. James and Sirius had every advantage: wealth, status, looks, charisma, magical talent—you name it. Severus, on the other hand, was everything they weren’t: poor, socially awkward, a loner, and unkempt. People like James and Sirius often prey on someone like Severus because he represents a threat to their sense of superiority. He’s smart, talented, and doesn’t bow to them, which means they can’t control or dominate him the way they can others. For people like James, that’s an itch they have to scratch.

But with James and Sirius, this goes beyond garden-variety bullying. It has this weird intensity to it that’s worth unpacking and as you said before, there’s something almost compulsive about the way James and Sirius target Severus. This isn’t just "let’s embarrass the nerd for laughs and move on." It’s fixated. Watching him during an exam? Catching sight of him under a tree and zoning in like a predator? Going out of his way to break his promise to Lily just to torment him again? That’s next-level, and here’s why that might be:

Severus was different: Beyond class, wealth, and upbringing, Severus was a challenge. He didn’t back down, didn’t beg, and he didn’t play the role of the "grateful victim" who might humor them to escape more torment. Instead, he fought back (verbally or with magic), which probably pissed James off even more. Bullies hate it when their victim refuses to crumble.

Insecurity masked as dominance: James, despite his wealth and privilege, could still be deeply insecure. Think about it: someone like Severus, who came from nothing, could rival him in magical skill and intelligence. That’s a big bruise to James’s ego. Bullying might have been his way of proving to himself—and everyone watching—that he was "better."

Additionally, let’s not forget that canonically, James’s animosity toward Severus began because of his relationship with Lily. It’s likely that, until he managed to date her and ensure any bond she had with Severus was completely severed, James experienced jealousy, anger, and even the insecurity of thinking they might have something more.

For someone like James—accustomed to being handed everything by his doting parents, who gets what he wants with the snap of a finger, and who’s probably never been told “no”—insecurity wasn’t something he’d know how to handle. The idea that someone like Severus, from a rival house, who held beliefs James had been taught were “wrong,” who was poor, scruffy, unattractive, could possibly achieve what James wanted, or spend endless time with the girl he liked, must have been inconceivable. Unthinkable.

Once again, class and status come into play: the wealthy kid who’s had everything can present himself as a fighter for social justice, but deep down, in certain situations, that intrinsic sense of superiority and entitlement always surfaces. After winning Lily over, James probably thought he had every right to treat Severus however he wanted. By that point, he’d dehumanized him to such an extent that he no longer saw him as a person.

On top of that, if you consider that James likely justified his bullying by convincing himself it was legitimate because Severus was hanging around with dark wizards, it all makes sense. It’s the classic psychological mechanism of rationalizing harmful behavior: “I’m not doing anything wrong; he deserves it.” It’s actually a pretty logical progression when you think about it.

Sirius’s role: Sirius is a complicated mess of a character. Growing up in a family where dominance, control, and punishment were the norm, Sirius might have channeled that energy into his dynamic with Severus. If James was leading the charge, Sirius probably saw joining in as a way to solidify their bond while also exercising some of his own unresolved issues. But the predatory way you describe Sirius observing Severus? That’s chilling, and it checks out.

I’ve mentioned this in another post, but Sirius is a Black, and his rebellious persona and attempts to distance himself from his family rested on two fundamental pillars: being a Gryffindor and defending Muggle-borns. However, at the end of the day, Sirius was still a boy raised in an aristocratic family that believed they were superior to others for absurd reasons. This superiority complex led them to treat an entire group of people as “the other,” dehumanizing them to justify their marginalization and even their extermination.

These are the values Sirius grew up with, and like many rich kids who rebel without bothering to deconstruct the behavioral patterns they’ve inherited, he thought that simply rejecting blood purity and getting Sorted into another house was enough to absolve him.

But Snape’s presence challenges that belief. Sirius’s relationship with Severus reveals that, deep down, Sirius isn’t so different from his mother or his cousin Bellatrix. Sirius sees Snape as “the other.” He dehumanizes Severus in the same way his family dehumanizes Muggle-borns—but for being a Slytherin and for desiring the things Sirius himself has chosen to reject. This cognitive dissonance makes Sirius feel justified in tormenting Severus, much like his family feels justified in their bigotry.

In the end, Sirius is just another hypocrite with a different spin—like so many others.

I’ve also pointed out several times that Sirius has a sadistic streak. Maybe not to the same degree as Bellatrix, because she’s clearly far more unhinged, but Sirius does have that violent, bloodthirsty impulse typical of the Blacks. Since he can’t channel it the way his family does, he chose an easy target—someone disliked by many, someone who didn’t fit in, who was isolated, and, most tragically, someone who no one cared about, not even his own parents. Sirius used Severus as a means to vent his anger and sadistic tendencies, fully aware that no one would step in to defend him.

Furthermore, as a wealthy boy from an aristocratic family with progressive ideas, it’s no surprise that Sirius relied on James as his moral compass when he struggled to discern right from wrong. If James believed it was entirely justified to bully and torment Severus, why would Sirius think otherwise?

James embodied everything Sirius wished he could be: a boy with the same privilege as him, but from a family without extremist beliefs. James’s parents treated Sirius like a son. They believed in “good” things. They were the “good” ones. If James was convinced that bullying Severus was the right thing to do, then Sirius had no reason to question it.

It became a way for Sirius to justify and validate his own awful behavior—a pattern that’s sadly all too common among bullies.

When we look at how James and Sirius treated Severus, it’s clear they didn’t just see him as someone to mock and forget; they actively sought to dehumanize him. This process of dehumanization is deeply rooted in power dynamics. Severus wasn’t just the “nerd” they bullied—he was someone who challenged their place in the social order. He dared to stand up to James over Lily and, as a highly capable student, constantly reminded them that they weren’t untouchable. Even if they had reached the top of the social and academic hierarchy, Severus was proof that someone outside their circle could match or even surpass them. In their eyes, Severus became the "other," someone who had to be eliminated to keep their world intact.

Dehumanization in bullying has devastating effects on the victim. It’s not just about causing temporary physical or emotional harm—it’s about erasing the person’s identity, reducing them to nothing more than an object for entertainment or a pawn in a game of power.

In Severus’s case, James and Sirius didn’t just want to make him miserable—they wanted to strip away his dignity, his individuality, and his sense of self-worth. They needed to prove, not only to Severus but also to themselves and their peers, that he didn’t belong. This is why their actions go beyond mere pranks or teasing—they were asserting their dominance and ensuring that Severus could never challenge the status quo they benefited from.

The relationship between James, Sirius, and Severus is a reflection of how power dynamics, insecurity, and the struggle for control can lead to psychological abuse far more complex than simple schoolyard rivalry. Throughout the story, James and Sirius don’t just try to humiliate Severus—they do it to prove something about themselves, about their place in the world, and about the relationships they maintain with those around them. This isn’t just bullying; it’s a demonstration of how children raised in a dysfunctional value system, with a limited understanding of others, can wield destructive power over the more vulnerable.

That’s why, when we look at Severus and understand what he endured, it’s not just a matter of “he joined the Death Eaters because he was bad.” There’s a context of pain, abuse, and a desperate search to belong to something or someone. What James and Sirius did wasn’t just cruel—it was one of the cornerstones that pushed Severus down the path he later followed.

My shame-ridden king 🙏

On Snape depriving himself sexually...

SO, I got hyperfocused and I hope you'll enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I needed only one person to tell me they were interested so thank you @severus-snaps haha. And thank you @wisteria-lodge for encouraging me !

This is a continuation of my previous post about Snape's relation with intimacy. I'm always a sucker for the pent up and deprived trope and I feel like Snape could fit the profile perfectly. Of course this is complete HC, as we literally have zero information about him having any personal life whatsoever so... pure speculation and meta discussion. Let's have fun, buckle up, here is why I think he'd make a great candidate for it :

Early teens: Many of us tend to interpret Snape as sexually inexperienced. This of course comes partly from his unpopularity in school, a time where teenagers start experimenting a bit. It's hard to imagine the little scrawny greasy potion nerd getting a lot of action. Though I'm open to thinking something might have happened here and there. I mean, girls also like smart and scrawny guys, I would love to read a fic where a Ravenclaw or Slytherin has a crush on him and he's utterly clueless because he's too engrossed in his books and when he realizes he's so flustered and clumsy about it. And they snog in the library and he's so afraid of getting caught by Mrs Pince. But being consistently bullied would have hurt his reputation, thus making people avoid being associated with him to not become targets as well. Also, his bullies were good-looking guys and it may have contributed to highlighting his bad looks in the public eye way more than if he had been left alone. And just with the nickname alone, but you won't tell me James and Sirius never insulted his nose, his hair, his complexion or his thin frame.

So one of the first core belief that might have emerged and latched itself to his sexuality would have been: I'm ugly/repelling.

But we don't have any proof in canon that he wasn't interested in romantic/sexual interactions back then. For all we know, he was a socially awkward teenager going through puberty. Even if he was certainly anxious and angry due to the bullying, he was still going through the same hormone cocktail as everyone.

HC : I've been wondering how the students find places to masturbate in peace and of course we don't exactly know why he invented the Muffliato charm but give me a Snape who was too whimpery to be completely silent and used it for this.

Post SWM though, I think it's safe to assume the trauma scared him unconsciously regarding the subject. Being perceived before wasn't easy, as he was aware he wasn't exactly good-looking and his self-esteem was impacted for sure, but after... oh boy. I can imagine him so traumatized that the mere idea of undressing in the vicinity of people was making his blood freeze. This may have led to hygiene issues as well, or only feeling safe to shower in the dead of night or at times where the dormitories where utterly empty. The shame linked to having his body and underwear exposed could have definitely stunned his sexual awakening as it happened at such a crucial age. How can you safely explore your own sexuality if every time you think about how ugly you are and that so many people saw your body and laughed at it ? (and the adults doing nothing to punish the people who did that hammered the beliefs that he was indeed laughable)

So second core belief added: I'm ridicule.

Also the SWM incident might have triggered his need to cover/shield his body from head to toe at all time and nobody can convince me otherwise.

At the very least I imagine masturbating would then be heavily linked to the anger and shame of that moment. The memory would either unlock or at least impact it unconsciously in some way, marking the act with a profound bitterness or stopping it altogether. The result: every time his body would ask for attention, he'd be overcome with very intense traumatic feelings and have no idea how to deal with them; so he'd start recoiling instinctively from any sexual thought. Also, since undressing/changing clothes became a triggering act, being even partially nude to touch himself would also stress him immensely.

So instead of indulging, he'd start developing coping mechanisms like focusing on anything else that brought him a sense of pleasure to trick his brain : potions, the dark arts, creating spells etc.

And of course, we can assume that even if someone was trying to approach him at that point, he'd recoil like a wounded animal, expecting mockery and reacting very aggressively.

After Hogwarts: We don't know what might have happened during his 3-4 years after school. We have a lot of creative space, though we know he got a Potion Mastery (??) so he must have studied somewhere and he was active within the DE circles. As @maxdibert pointed in a few posts - which I think is an astute point - the Dark Lord was aware of the affection/attraction Severus had felt towards Lily and, to prove his disinterest, he might have engaged with a few pureblood women. We could speculate on different situations here (and if anyone's interested we could explore this), but as I'm going for deprived!Snape, I'd say it wasn't helpful. At this point he's a young adult, torn between his inexperience and his limboing self-esteem. On top of that he's a deeply proud individual, obsessed with controlling the way he's being perceived. He's already occlumenting his emotions to remain safe, and well, engaging sexually does require some sort of vulnerability he isn't capable of at that point.

Maybe he said some harsh things to his partners when confronted with his clumsiness (even if they were kind), maybe he got bit back (and deserved it). He'd use these instances as confirmation bias to convince himself intimacy wasn't something emotionally safe, interesting nor even remotely pleasant enough.

Then there's Lily's death, and I personally don't see her as having a lot of influence on his sexuality directly (except maybe for the fact that when he had feelings for her, he might have felt she was 'too pretty for him', which fed the first core belief), but it did fuel a ton the last core belief which is : I'm undeserving (because I'm a bad person).

The undeserving part existed prior to her death. It stemmed from his upbringing (undeserving of care), of his social status (undeserving of material comfort), his blood status (undeserving of opportunities), his social awkwardness (undeserving of friendship), his special interest in the dark arts (undeserving of respect).

Lily's death crystallized such deep guilt inside of him that he devoted his life after that to atoning. I'm a firm believer that there's a clear before and after regarding the way he treated his body. Not that things were drastically different, but it made it worse. He ate less, slept less and touched himself even less. Probable not at all for a good few months, maybe even up to a year or so as he was extremely stressed from his new job, depressed and overcomed with grief. Honestly, at that point in his life he was barely functioning.

Then we have his adult life at Hogwarts: at that point in his life he's working and living where his worst trauma occurred. Not great for healing. During those years, he mastered the art of shutting down with occlumency everything he couldn't deal with, including his body's basic needs. He had excuses for everything. Sleeping? How could he rest when he had so much work to do dealing with the little shitheads and that infuriating Headmaster? Eating? Pfft, he had been fine all his childhood, so now he'd eat what he needed to function, but craving something and getting it wasn't something he'd allow himself. Masturbating? Tricky part, because he almost never thought about it anymore. He would not even treat it as a basic need. Like, sleep and food were still required to function, even in limited amount or he would pass out, but he could function without sex. Bottom line is, deep down he would feel undeserving of any sort of pleasure.

Rewarding his body, taking care of it wasn't allowed. It was part of his self-inflicted punishment.

But it would be still natural for his body to seek sexual release from time to time. He'd have hard-ons sometimes in the morning and ignore it until it went away, maybe take a cold shower or - why not - even take a potion he'd have invented to calm it down (or worse, to make it hurt so it would go down, if you want to go the masochistic way). The way I see it, every time he'd have an unwanted sensual/sexual thought (oh, this person at the Three Broomsticks has disarmingly pretty lips, this other person's got very elegant hands, or this one's hips look live they're meant to be grabbed), he'd shut it down immediately.

Fantasizing wouldn't be pleasant either. Each time, it would trigger the self-depreciating thoughts. Who are you fooling ? This person would never touch you, never look at you. And if they did, you wouldn't deserve it and would fuck it up anyway. Faceless people then, but it would still always be tainted with the ghost of years of bitterness, loneliness and unmet needs. So it'd be easier to pretend he doesn't have them or doesn't care. Of course this would do nothing to soothe his sour mood (and here talking from experience: I've been sexually frustrated quite a lot in my twenties, and I can definitely say that the mental relief you feel alongside the physical release when you get it is quite something. Like, I'd be a changed person, just because chemically my brain would finally be swimming again in endorphins. So yeah, at that point in his life I believe he's in dire need of a good shag and is partly always on edge because of this).

And when he would indulge in masturbation, it'd be because he's too tired to fight it or just because he knows that if he does, his body would leave him alone for a while. It would be quick, mechanical, in the dark, the mess cleaned up immediately and then forgotten about. The less thinking involved, the better so it wouldn't trigger the core beliefs. Maybe it'd happen when being tipsy after a night out with the other professors, or just when he was too stressed or exhausted at the end of terms and it was his body's way of asking for a break and a distraction.

I think he'd be also more prone to having his sexual needs resurface when he's not at Hogwarts and the mental toll of being there isn't weighing on him (maybe during summer or maybe even if he goes into the Forbidden Forest to gather potion ingredients, or a trip to Diagon Alley). He would find it really annoying, not realizing how the two are linked.

Then how would he be dealing with the constant tension and redirecting the release ? (fun stuff)

I think he could get a sick pleasure from being able to not indulge for long periods of time, thriving on his sense of control. He'd maybe even feel shame when he finally does, chastising himself for being weak.

When too tired to notice, late at night in his office, his body would hijack control a little bit and he'd start rubbing himself unconsciously with one hand while correcting essays and immediately stop upon realizing.

He'd be a GREAT candidate for edging. Like telling himself that if there's no release it doesn't count and he could get some pleasure whilst still shaming and punishing himself. Maybe sometimes even without touching himself directly, just letting the fabric rub on him, while shifting his hips just a bit. A good compromise he wouldn't want to analyze too closely.

Being pent up all the time makes one irritable, so some of that tension is fueling his already short-tempered nature and getting out by lashing out at idiots. It would also be a way to... spill out but with words (classy I know).

I don't see him doing any sport to get endorphins and relieve tension (though he does prowl the castle at night, that counts as walking haha).

The only part of his body I could see him pay attention to would be his hands as he uses them for potion work. He could be proud of their dexterity and I can imagine him taking care of them. Like, once of twice a week he'd put a cream or an ointment (self-made ofc) and massage his fingers and palms. Nothing sexual about it but it would be the closest he has to a gentle self-touch.

But mostly, his sole source of pleasure would still come from focusing on his interests. Working all night on improving a new potion, loosing himself in the method and appreciating his own skills, or reading about and experimenting with the Dark Arts (I don't think he ever stopped seeking knowledge, which is why he was able to save Dumbledore's ass from Marvolo's ring). These two things are his private garden, something that's inherently his despite everything, and it would be his way of pleasuring himself in an acceptable way: intellectually.

But what about the people around him or potential partners ?

He'd hate any sexual jokes or comments about him or in general. Sexually open people would make him angry (jealous). It'd irk him. As it's such a loaded and repressed subject for him he'd see them as flaunting their unspoken good experiences. He'd try to unconsciously shame them into silence by telling them they're being inappropriate. At the end of the day, it's just his way of protecting himself because he wouldn't know how to navigate the conversation, and his pride wouldn't let him feel ridiculed again.

He would also hate being looked at, even clothed. People judging his body would definitely trigger the awful memory from SWM. He would struggle immensely to accept the possibility of being looked at in an appraising way. If someone was sincere and stubborn enough to convince him they're not lying, he'd be extremely confused and wary.

And if he was to be attracted to that person as well, he'd have to deal with an almost second puberty on top of his core beliefs. He'd be so clumsy, so out of touch with his body and very frustrated with all the unwanted sensations he's not used to deal with. And that's such an interesting and fascinating subject aaaah.

At the end of the day, deep down he doesn't believes he deserves pleasure or comfort in his life so a partner would have to be patient with him. There's a lot of strategies they could try and I'd be delighted to explore them but I'm gonna stop here because this essay is so long already haha. SO, in conclusion:

He needs a good shag.

Thank you for reading.

I'd love to discuss how it would go with different characters trying to approach him, or I could talk about the classic trope of losing control because of his short temper but with him deprived, so many possibilties aaah, I love it when he's angry AND horny AND clumsy-

Also, my current favorite oneshot of deprived!Snape here : Cursed into Temptation by @marvel-snape-writes (very smutty, amazing, I'm on my knees)