“I KNOW!”

If you're reading this...

go write three sentences on your current writing project.

December 21st

No one will see this but......

You have no idea how Yuri!!! On Ice has changed my life! Not only do we have a canon gay ship, but the last episode is airing on my birthday. For someone who was told four years ago that the world was meant to end on my birthday, I’m so happy that I now have something different to remember the day by.

Victuuri has changed my life for the better so today, for the last episode, I’m wearing a blue dress as if I was at their wedding XD!

“Don’t you get it? I love you, I always have. So please… just this once… stay.”

“You love me?… I love you too.”

I’ve decided to be sexier in 2020. There will be with no actual effort on my part, l just intend to be perceived as such

Season 5 - Adora’s Sexuality Arc

So forgive me if other people have already done this to death (I’ve been meaning to write this for a couple of days but iron deficiency has left me exhausted), but I just wanted to talk about the way in which season 5 handled Adora’s sexuality.

The way in which it was handled was both so subtle and so explicit at the same time and I’ve never seen something handled in such a mature, natural fashion.

From just the small glimpse of their world we’re given, homophobia doesn’t appear to be a thing that exists. However this doesn’t mean that it’s all clear-sailing for any of them when it comes to sexuality.

In Adora’s case, she was raised in an environment in which she was expected to excel and lead, without any real regard for her own wants and desires.

Needless to say, it didn’t set her up with the best support system. Despite Shadow Weaver essentially being her mother, it doesn’t seem likely that even Adora could have gone to her about anything that might have been going on in her head.

Even upon leaving the Horde, Adora’s emotional needs still aren’t met. Despite building herself a good support system (or rather the support system built itself around her), she still struggles to act selfishly in any situation and no one around her can empathise fully with what she’s been through.

Even into season 5, Adora describes herself as a “punch your feelings out” kind of person.

Which indicates that she doesn’t really talk about her problems and instead chooses to get on with what she believes she needs to do.

To me, this gives the impression that Adora had never really thought about her sexuality before and had never been able to think about what, or who, she wants. (Even if some of the looks she gave girls throughout the series tell a story of their own!)

Central to the season was Adora’s inconsistency with her ability to become She-Ra. At first, it might have seemed that She-Ra would come to her when she really needed her, but quite quickly throughout the season this is put into uncertainty.

However, there is one variable that is usually present when she is able to transform into She-Ra; Catra.

Unsurprising? Yes.

The first time she was able to transform again, it was out of her need to protect Catra. And, in many ways, this was her first real selfish move. After all, many Etherians really wouldn’t be too bothered if Catra made it out alive, given what she’s done in the past.

Even Bow and Glimmer, who trust Adora, probably struggled to understand why she cares so much for Catra, despite everything she’s done to them. That is until they see her holding her.

I feel like this is when it began to click for both Bow and Glimmer. That Catra is Adora’s sense of stability, and that she holds an important place in her heart.

The entire season, Adora is constantly asked what she wants, and she’s never able to give a complete answer. It’s always “I need to do this.”, never “I want to do this.”.

For a while with Catra back in her life, her abilities as She-Ra return, but Shadow Weaver is constantly there to stick an unwanted spanner in the works.

Whatever progress Adora might have made in figuring out her feelings towards Catra begin sliding backwards as Shadow Weavers words sink in. Even if she doesn’t trust Shadow Weaver, her word is still something she grew up on, and for her mother figure to tell her she’s confused, it certainly adds to her feelings of self-doubt.

It is clear by this point that Catra already knows how she feels about Adora (even if she might not know how to process it) and so this separation in understanding further expands the rift between the two of them, which leads in turn to She-Ra drifting further and further away.

During her struggle, we see Mara tell Adora that she’s also deserving of love and that she shouldn’t self sacrifice so much.

But even that doesn’t truly reach her in the way it needs to.

It isn’t until Catra’s confession that we get to see Adora finally allow herself something.

The kiss between them wasn’t just magical because of the love behind it, but also because it displays the moment that Adora accepts her own wants and needs. And it’s through that level of love and self-understanding that She-Ra returns.

This scene shows a different kind of confidence than has previously been seen in earlier seasons. Whereas before her confidence as She-Ra seemed a lot to do with her physical strength, this confidence seems to come from within.

From self-content.

And for someone like Adora, who always seems to need to be doing something for a greater cause, her calmness at the end of the war is a perfect conclusion to her self-acceptance.

And then, at the end, she has Catra, and she’s not ashamed by people knowing. She finally allows herself to be selfish and in love.

(Sorry if this makes no sense, it’s really late and I should be asleep 😴 but I just thought that the series handled this really beautifully.)

a summary of the consequences of my life because I read percy jackson

I’ve finally (pretty much) finished my She-Ra dress!

It’s taken me 3 weeks, partially because of personal reasons, but I’ve finally got it finished!!

It’s not perfect and there are some minor errors that are already bugging me but I’m proud of myself for making it a reality🙂.

(Forgive me for the no-makeup face, but I really didn’t have the energy yesterday and my skin was being kind to me for once, and it’s time I stopped feeling ashamed of my spots and what my face naturally looks like.)

To attach the cape I decided to use gold ribbon rather than sewing it on, as I wanted to have an amount of freedom as to getting the dress on.

I did make a few changes design wise, although most of them were for the logistics of wearability, since I’ve made it using cheaper materials, and because we’ve all come across that one cosplay that is NOT convention-safe or practical in its original form.

Hopefully I’ll be able to take nicer photos of it in a few days ☺️.

Anyway I want to tell bi girls, especially with how disgustingly biphobic twitter has been, that if you have a preference for men, don’t feel obligated to try and make yourself seem more “gay.” You’re enough. Don’t suppress your attraction for temporary validation. Your love for all genders is real & valid. you shouldn’t feel restricted or that you have to make fifty wlw moodboards and strip your pages of any mention of men to prove your worth to biphobes. Men are hot. Talk about how much you find them attractive without shame.

Thanatophobia Thoughtdump

1. If we are able to worry about it, it means we are alive right now.

2. Don’t try to envision what’s beyond it, unless you’re religious, because it’s physically impossible. Our brains don’t have the capability to imagine it.

3. I try to distract myself with the political world, as it’s much faster-paced and very grounding in how it changes so quickly.

4. Yes, I am terrified, and wondering how everyone else is happy, but then I have to remember that many of us haven’t truly lived yet. Many of us have been resigned to quiet, boring lives by overprotective parents.

5. It mostly hits you the strongest when you’re the least satisfied with your life; when there’s so much you want to achieve but you don’t want the time to pass in order for you to be able to.

6. Life is an A-Z, NOT an A-B.

7. It’s time we went searching for life’s peripheral, rather than just the tunnel.

8. Obligatory the-school-system-has-failed-us: life is prepared until you turn 18 and most children see that as being forever away. I reached 16 and then felt wrong going any further. Education for children is often centred around “don’t do this or you will DIE and it’ll be HORRIBLE” which is fine to prevent a toddler from doing something, but completely forgets that one day that toddler is going to grow up.

9. Today is in its own bubble, and I’m going to try and believe I’m okay.

I’ve had the new PMD since yesterday in order to get a free mug but I can’t play it until literally June when my A-Levels are over.

My mum was like “Animal Crossing and Pokémon are £100 together... Are you sure about buying this now.”

And then she offered to buy PMD for me on the condition that she looks after it until exams are over.

Frustrating but my bank account is thanking me.