reblog this if your icon could kill a man
✨✨ DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE ✨✨
people say the Brucie Wayne persona isn’t believable but if I caught Bruce Wayne drunkenly lying under a desk in an office he shouldn’t have access to with a ream of secure documents and he replied to my “Mr. Wayne?” with “Mr. Wayne was my father—oh god, my father” and then started sobbing, I would 100% back away and leave him alone. like that shit would work on me every time.
💙💜💗 bisexuality: is typically described as the attraction to two or more genders or multiple genders. 💙💜💗
💗💚💙 polysexuality: is typically described as the attraction to multiple genders, but not necessarily all genders. 💗💚💙
💗💛💙 pansexuality: is typically described as the attraction to all genders 💗💛💙
🍁 language changes. bisexuality was first officially ‘defined’ by a (presumably cishet) white male academic in the 19th century. it was initially described as the attraction to “both sexes”. at the time “official” sexuality terminologies were very much sex orientated and did not accomodate the gender spectrum. but, as this was a general term used by certain people who had multiple gender attraction, it has continued to mean the attraction to multiple genders, not just always limited to two genders or specifically men and women. 🍁
🌠 see above. it can accommodate the whole gender spectrum, including all genders. people can be transphobic and it sucks but bisexuality is not a blanket transphobic sexuality 🌠
💙 no, see the above definitions. a bisexual could be attracted to people across the whole gender spectrum and a pansexual could also be attracted to people across the whole gender spectrum. this isn’t as complicated as some people make it: respect someone’s label. if someone says they are bisexual, no matter your LGBT+ “status”, this isn’t an invitation to ask for their sex history, their “attraction list” or anything else unless they openly provide it. believe bisexuals: they have probably considered and struggled with these feelings a lot in the past without you questioning their sexuality 💙
when jason died, they buried him with the possessions that he carried on him all the time. there was a pocket knife tucked into his sock, the bracelet on his wrist from catherine that he never took off, a tangled pair of earbuds in his back pocket, and, in the top pocket of his jacket, the cellphone that bruce bought for him after he was adopted.
that cellphone stayed with jason in his grave. went with him when he dug his way out. somehow stayed on his person when he was taken by the league, and he managed to convince talia to let him keep it throughout all his training.
he doesn’t know why, maybe as a grief thing or maybe just because bruce forgot and it’s not like the bill effected him in any way, but he never stopped paying jason’s phone bill. his number’s still active, still working after all this time. even weirder, but dick started adopting the tradition of adding his dead brother’s phone number to each and every family group chat any of them created after ethiopia. again, jason doesn’t know why. maybe it was dick’s way of carrying his memory with them; including him in family conversations even if they all thought the number was connected to a long buried phone in the pocket of a long dead boy.
the point is that jason wasn’t dead any more. and all throughout his time at the league, he gets to watch the family chats. the mission statuses, the arguments, the rapid spiral every chat went through where they started off using it as a serious bat communication centre only for dick or tim to send a meme and instantly spiral into nothing but chaos that bruce would neither take part in or attempt to stop. jason spectates it all, always fingering the keypad but never actually typing out a message. he came close when there was a heated debate between steph and dick about the best donut types and he knew they were both absolutely fucking wrong, but luckily tim came in to educate them on the right choice last second and jason was saved from having to reveal himself.
the closest call was when little damian got a hold of his phone, attracted to the bright colours of the block game jason had been absently playing out of boredom while ra’s droned on about whatever had pissed him off that day. he’d let the kid play, sat on his lap and eagerly jabbing at the screen, and jason had only looked away for at most a minute before he’d turned back to find the screen open on the family chat, damian having accidentally clicked on the camera button and taken a selfie of the two that he’d been about to send through. luckily, jason deleted it in time, but he became much more careful about letting the kid play with his shit after that.
this is all just a long winded explanation and backstory for and au i think would be funny where jason’s reveal is literally just him deciding to fuck with his family by randomly dropping in through text like:
-in the chat-
bruce: status report.
dick: hungry :( but good!
steph: seconded, im fine
tim: drug bust went to plan, on way back to cave uninjured
cass: ^ same answer
babs: everything seems calm from what i can tell
jason: a little claustrophobic but the coffin’s kinda homely so ig no complaints from me
.
.
.
several people are typing…
^^
Damian being ready to fight Santa is one of my most favorite things alongside Bruce taking any chance he can to talk shit about Batman like they aren’t the same damn person
Cuddle Pollen: Ivy’s pollen but it just makes you crave human contact to the point it’s painful
People avoiding Bruce Wayne adopting them: sometimes the adoptee is a canon bat child other times it’s LadyBug or Spider-Man. Bruce absolutely dragging Batman through the mud to the press for no apparent reason: You would think such a specific prompt could not possibly have that many fics. You would be wrong. The Justice League finding out Bruce has 10+ children and being shook: It always goes one of two ways, either one of his kids was hiding under his cape and outs him or they all show up when Bruce inevitably needs help Tim destroying another company out of pure petty spite: Idk why it's always him, but it is. The reason can vary but it's typically in defense of another family member
Actual Ray of Sunshine Robin!Jason seeing the neglected little gremlin that is 9 yrs old Tim Drake and deciding to keep him: it’s always so funny. 90% of the time it’s just Jason telling Bruce “We’re keeping him” and Bruce just being like “ok”
Damian trying to fight Santa Clause: I don’t know when exactly we as a fandom decided that not only did Damian believe in Santa, but that he is ready to fight him at any given moment but I hope it never stops
bruh david cain is insane he shot his daughter just because he thought it was funny he made her kill a man he took every bit of cass’s autonomy from her but he also picked out the prettiest pink dress for her and tenderly brushed her hair and he put it up in pigtails and he cuddled with her on a roof while stargazing and he made up his own language so he could communicate with her and he loves her with all his heart, and yet it means next to nothing since he barely had one to begin with
Okay guys I want everyone to hear me out on this one okay? Bruce may be rich but he was still raised in new jersey. I need you all to know the only reason he doesn't act or sound like it is because he was raised in high society. I need you to know that I firmly believe his internal monolog in no way matches any actual words he says out loud or anything he would actually do.
*the JL arguing over how to go about getting information from some criminal*
Hal: okay and how would YOU go about this spooky?
Bruce, in his head: I say we force the information out of him, light him on fire and throw him in the harbor, where he will continue to burn because Gotham is a shit hole and the water is so polluted we have to out source water for the fire fighters.
Bruce, actually speaking: we follow protocol and turn him over to whatever law enforcement that has jurisdiction over him.
*bruce and Clark arguing over something petty in their personal lives*
Clark, trying to end the fight somewhat amicably: I just don't love it, but I will respect your opinion on the matter
Bruce, in his head: and I 'just don't love' that you're acting like a little bitch about it BUT HERE WE ARE FUCK FACE
Bruce, out loud: Hn, let's move on
*batfam comms during a slow night*
Dick: do you think the rogues finally figured out that they could spend their time doing something more productive to avoid getting their asses kicked?
Bruce, internally: i doubt they'd be able to figure that shit out if it jerked them off and bit them in the ass
Jason, three blocks over: are you fucking kidding me? Most of them wouldn't be able to figure that out if it came to them as a swift kick to the head, let alone a stray fucking thought
Bruce: hood, language.
Bruce, internally: that's my fucking boy :)