m1y4-c0m

Latest Posts by m1y4-c0m

Batman dog owner vs Superman cat owner

a nosy socialite at an event, leaning down: “Oh Richard, it must be so hard for you in that house, what with Bruce’s…proclivities for nighttime guests.”

Dick Grayson, fully aware at age 13 that Bruce Wayne is a Loser™ whose only “nighttime guest” is Clark Kent, who comes over to “review cases” with Bruce before/after patrol while both of them awkwardly ignore any and all tension between them: “Something like that.”

Okay guys I want everyone to hear me out on this one okay? Bruce may be rich but he was still raised in new jersey. I need you all to know the only reason he doesn't act or sound like it is because he was raised in high society. I need you to know that I firmly believe his internal monolog in no way matches any actual words he says out loud or anything he would actually do.

*the JL arguing over how to go about getting information from some criminal*

Hal: okay and how would YOU go about this spooky?

Bruce, in his head: I say we force the information out of him, light him on fire and throw him in the harbor, where he will continue to burn because Gotham is a shit hole and the water is so polluted we have to out source water for the fire fighters.

Bruce, actually speaking: we follow protocol and turn him over to whatever law enforcement that has jurisdiction over him.

*bruce and Clark arguing over something petty in their personal lives*

Clark, trying to end the fight somewhat amicably: I just don't love it, but I will respect your opinion on the matter

Bruce, in his head: and I 'just don't love' that you're acting like a little bitch about it BUT HERE WE ARE FUCK FACE

Bruce, out loud: Hn, let's move on

*batfam comms during a slow night*

Dick: do you think the rogues finally figured out that they could spend their time doing something more productive to avoid getting their asses kicked?

Bruce, internally: i doubt they'd be able to figure that shit out if it jerked them off and bit them in the ass

Jason, three blocks over: are you fucking kidding me? Most of them wouldn't be able to figure that out if it came to them as a swift kick to the head, let alone a stray fucking thought

Bruce: hood, language.

Bruce, internally: that's my fucking boy :)

Don’t worry, bud, Bruce will get it eventually…

Bunt!

my sources tell me this is called a bunt when cats do it

when jason died, they buried him with the possessions that he carried on him all the time. there was a pocket knife tucked into his sock, the bracelet on his wrist from catherine that he never took off, a tangled pair of earbuds in his back pocket, and, in the top pocket of his jacket, the cellphone that bruce bought for him after he was adopted.

that cellphone stayed with jason in his grave. went with him when he dug his way out. somehow stayed on his person when he was taken by the league, and he managed to convince talia to let him keep it throughout all his training.

he doesn’t know why, maybe as a grief thing or maybe just because bruce forgot and it’s not like the bill effected him in any way, but he never stopped paying jason’s phone bill. his number’s still active, still working after all this time. even weirder, but dick started adopting the tradition of adding his dead brother’s phone number to each and every family group chat any of them created after ethiopia. again, jason doesn’t know why. maybe it was dick’s way of carrying his memory with them; including him in family conversations even if they all thought the number was connected to a long buried phone in the pocket of a long dead boy.

the point is that jason wasn’t dead any more. and all throughout his time at the league, he gets to watch the family chats. the mission statuses, the arguments, the rapid spiral every chat went through where they started off using it as a serious bat communication centre only for dick or tim to send a meme and instantly spiral into nothing but chaos that bruce would neither take part in or attempt to stop. jason spectates it all, always fingering the keypad but never actually typing out a message. he came close when there was a heated debate between steph and dick about the best donut types and he knew they were both absolutely fucking wrong, but luckily tim came in to educate them on the right choice last second and jason was saved from having to reveal himself.

the closest call was when little damian got a hold of his phone, attracted to the bright colours of the block game jason had been absently playing out of boredom while ra’s droned on about whatever had pissed him off that day. he’d let the kid play, sat on his lap and eagerly jabbing at the screen, and jason had only looked away for at most a minute before he’d turned back to find the screen open on the family chat, damian having accidentally clicked on the camera button and taken a selfie of the two that he’d been about to send through. luckily, jason deleted it in time, but he became much more careful about letting the kid play with his shit after that.

this is all just a long winded explanation and backstory for and au i think would be funny where jason’s reveal is literally just him deciding to fuck with his family by randomly dropping in through text like:

-in the chat-

bruce: status report.

dick: hungry :( but good!

steph: seconded, im fine

tim: drug bust went to plan, on way back to cave uninjured

cass: ^ same answer

babs: everything seems calm from what i can tell

jason: a little claustrophobic but the coffin’s kinda homely so ig no complaints from me

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several people are typing…

what is your favorite ao3 tag in the batman fandom and why is it "No Batcest | No Batfamily Incest (DCU)"

A little reminder to appreciate the writers and artists in your fandom spaces!! Comments and likes and reblogs are a great way to encourage the creators keeping the fandom spaces alive. ❤️‍🩹

Fandom is a community! So let’s keep the community alive together.

Also remember that a lot of creators have commissions available and that’s a great way of supporting them as well if it’s possible for you 🩷

Kay well I started it impulsively and I need feedback

Unnamed WIP

The league sat at the round table, the current active members watching as Batman went through what seemed like yet another presentation. One had to wonder where the hell he was getting them from, they were awfully detailed and usually meant to aid in his lecturing. Hal, having checked himself out of the meeting twenty minutes ago, constructed a small yo-yo that he rolled about in the air next to him. Barry and Clark both found themselves watching the yo-yo. Although Clark at the very least, pretended to pay attention to the man at the head of the table.

Batman, watching the three as they did just about everything but paying attention to him, rolled his eyes. Only to remember that they couldn’t see him do as such under the cowl. Fighting the urge to run a hand through his undoubtedly greasy hair he cleared his throat. Opting to capture their attention instead. Folding his arms and shifting his stars he narrowed his eyes at the three men. They could play with Hal’s damn ring after the meeting. It wasn’t like it’s go anywhere. Unlike Bruce who was ready to book it to the zeta tubes as soon as this meeting was to end.

“I didn’t realize that mission debriefs were that unimportant gentleman.”

Barry was the first to react, stiffening as he snapped his neck over in Bruce’s direction. Leaving the bat to wonder briefly if it pained the speedster to move that quickly unprovoked. Clark was second, he couldn’t help the sheepish grin he gave the bat when he got caught. He knew the importance of their mission debriefings, but that didn’t make Bruce’s portions any less mind numbing. Hal, being the usual nuisance that he was, found that messing with Bruce was just a little more fun than actually listening.

“Sorry spooky. It’s just that you're not very good at keeping it short and sweet.”

Bruce fights the desire to roll his eyes, he could keep things short and sweet. But he chose not to, he preferred to make sure all the important details were in place as they should be. God forbid he left something out and one of these idiots decided that specific part was the most important thing ever to the current debrief case file.

So what’re we thinking so far? Ass or nah

Random Funny Batman… Stephanie and Duke Sass the Joker

Water-Hal-on and his brumpkin 🤭🤭

The saga continues

Damian being ready to fight Santa is one of my most favorite things alongside Bruce taking any chance he can to talk shit about Batman like they aren’t the same damn person

Weirdly specific fanfic tropes in the Batman Fandom that I love

Cuddle Pollen: Ivy’s pollen but it just makes you crave human contact to the point it’s painful

People avoiding Bruce Wayne adopting them: sometimes the adoptee is a canon bat child other times it’s LadyBug or Spider-Man. Bruce absolutely dragging Batman through the mud to the press for no apparent reason: You would think such a specific prompt could not possibly have that many fics. You would be wrong. The Justice League finding out Bruce has 10+ children and being shook: It always goes one of two ways, either one of his kids was hiding under his cape and outs him or they all show up when Bruce inevitably needs help Tim destroying another company out of pure petty spite: Idk why it's always him, but it is. The reason can vary but it's typically in defense of another family member

Actual Ray of Sunshine Robin!Jason seeing the neglected little gremlin that is 9 yrs old Tim Drake and deciding to keep him: it’s always so funny. 90% of the time it’s just Jason telling Bruce “We’re keeping him” and Bruce just being like “ok”

Damian trying to fight Santa Clause: I don’t know when exactly we as a fandom decided that not only did Damian believe in Santa, but that he is ready to fight him at any given moment but I hope it never stops

Awwe

Superman is his favourite…

Dick: I just think, maybe, you're wrong.

Duke: Wow Richard, invalidating a young black man during Black History Month!

Dick, confused: Its April

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim takes the last two cookies for him and Bernard.

Duke, who already had one but wanted one for school: Woooow Timothy, taking from a young black man during Black History Month!!

Tim: Its September!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason accidently hits Duke a little too hard during a sparing match

Duke, who is completely fine the next second but is in that mood: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW—

Jason: Its fucking November and you're fine!!

Duke, ready to double down: WOW JASON PETER TODD, BEATING DOWN AND THEN INVALIDATING THE EXPERIANCE OF A YOUNG BLACK MAN DURING BLACK HISTORY MONTH!!

I love the hc that Dick, when he was like 12, thought Bruce and Clark were together but kept it low-key. So he got really close to him compared to other jla members. Because he thought that was his step-dad. One day, he sees Bruce with a woman and gets so mad. He goes to metropolis and tells Clark what Bruce did because it was wrong. And Clark is so confused. So he just says "I'll talk to him, let me take you home"

And then he talks to Bruce, and they actually end up kissing. And Dick is angry and yells at both of them, saying cheating is wrong and Clark can't just forgive Bruce like that. And then they talk about why he thought they were dating. And he explains. He saw them look at each other like his parents looked at each other. And, of course, that meant they were in love. Bruce and Clark have their jaws on the floor.

Trying to make more comics, here's baby Bruce!!

Alfred, stitching up Bruce: and what do we think you perhaps should have done differently, master Bruce?

Bruce, delirious: I think I should have died with my parents

OLAY so “idiots in love identity porn” won 🥳 which means I get to explain the ideas I’m having for this

1) Clark Kent is in love with Batman but he doesn’t care much for Bruce Wayne (ik most of them start out this way but hear me out) He finds the man to be exemplary while Bruce is kinda just “meh” yk? Not his type, like he’s conventionally attractive and his face is like everywhere cause he’s Bruce fucking Wayne but he’s only eh to Clark

And Bruce? Bruce thinks Clark Kent is adorable, and being well- the fucking Batman he’s already figured out that Superman’s civilian identity was Clark Kent, so now he’s stuck trying to decide wether or not he wants to pursue Superman because he’s into Clark, hopelessly so but he knows that Clark can’t stand Brucie and he doesn’t know what else to do without straight up revealing himself to the man cause the first rule of being a mask wearing vigilante is to not reveal ur identity (he probably made up the rule himself)

The only question now is what the catalyst would be, what makes Bruce decide to reveal himself (or does supes find out on his own?) How would I go about that—maybe something happened like an alien attack? Ooh that could be fun, an alien race comes to one of the Wayne galas with the intention of leaving with Bruce (they’ve been keeping tabs on him for one reason or another (I don’t have a reason yet…)) one that Clark’s covering and he gets to watch Bruce break character for a moment to defend himself, to which he then jumps in as Superman (it’s easy to sneak away when no one’s watching you) he comes defeats the alien leader alongside Bruce then they sneak off to the roof top for a sweet

“So you were Bruce the whole time?”

“Who else would I be?”

“And you knew that I was—“

“Clark Kent? Yes.”

“..huh.”

Kiss kiss the end

(It’ll be written better I swear I just need to pad out my thoughts yk)

OKAY I RHINK I GOT IT (im too indecisive i have not got it, however I have options)

Yes. To all of this. Just yes.

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

Reading fics that go "Bruce never visited Jason's grave but others did" always makes me sigh, because it's LITERALLY Bruce's thing to visit graves all the fucking time. It doesn't matter if in canon he is not shown visiting Jason's grave (he does go sometimes as Batman, he is also shown multiple time to do the grieving with the memorial instead of going all the way to the cemetery), Bruce is THE grieving "the cemetery is my third home" kind of guy, kind of goth. That's his aesthetic to be standing in front of graves, of strangers to his own family. He even visits the Graysons' grave every year, without telling Dick. Even during missions in other countries, he sometimes go to the cemetery there. It's a part of him.

sometimes you need dialogue tags and don't want to use the same four

Alfred felt as though it was incredibly inappropriate for a butler to accompany his young master to any sort of gala or gathering so Bruce had to get used to being by himself very quickly at a young age

Due to being left all alone when he would usually be with his parents, Bruce was put in increasingly unsafe situations over and over. Most of the time, there was no safe adult for him to feel comfortable enough telling. And if there was, how would he know they were safe?

He could tell Alfred, but what good would that do? Alfred has told him time and time again that he is his employee, nothing more and nothing less. Alfred cannot help him. Alfred cannot save him

Alfred doesn’t want to

I believe that at a very early age, due to how most of the socialites and rich people are in Gotham, Bruce had to get used to unwanted stares, touches, and advances

And he’s so pretty. He’s been so pretty ever since he was small, even with his parents alive they had to work hard to keep him safe. To keep others away. To draw a hard line in the sand for what is acceptable and what is not. But now they’re gone and he’s trying to keep himself safe. But people always want to touch, take, possess, and destroy pretty things

But all of his children are pretty too.

With all of his kids he makes sure that they’re as safe as can be, unlike how it was with him

The first time that he brings Dick to a gala, he holds the boy the entire time. Dick’s face is mostly tucking into Bruce’s suit jacket, shielding him from the flashes of the paparazzi and unwanted stares. Especially with his ‘exotic’ heritage of being Romani… it’s a recipe for disaster in Gotham

Bruce refuses to let a single person touch Dick, even socialites that he trusts. He knows how quickly someone you trust can turn on you once they realize you’re vulnerable.

He keeps Jason by his side as well. Gotham high society hates anyone who didn’t grow up rich. If he’s not by Jason’s side, he makes sure Dick is. Dick can now fend for himself, but Bruce always makes sure they’re in his line of sight.

Tim has been to these parties before, and considering how negligent his parents were… Bruce makes sure to tell Tim that he would never be mad at him for anything that happened and he is not to blame. That adults should have protected him and saved him. He tells Tim all the things he wished someone had told him when he was younger. They hug and cry about it.

He’s always so thankful that Stephanie never wanted to go to galas as mean as it makes him sound. She never had to be subjected to the cruelties of adults who had no business leering after young girls. Now that she’s older and sometimes pops in if Tim’s going, Bruce knows that they’ll protect each other.

Cass is strong and smart, but she’s also very very new to this life and more vulnerable than the rest of his kids. Bruce wishes he could give her a sense of normalcy. It’s just another thing that’s he failed at.

He knows that if push came to shove, like the rest of his children, she would not hesitate to defend herself. But there should be no shove. She shouldn’t have to. Bruce dances with her all through the night every time she decides to grace a gala with her magnificent presence. It keeps her happy, it keeps her away from harm

His youngest baby is a fire cracker, ready to take on anyone and anything that could possibly be perceived as a threat to him and his family. As much as his other babies joke that he keeps Damian nearby to stop him from stabbing people, he doesn’t want anyone to look at Damian.

Damian is barely older than he was when he returned back to Gotham high society. The only difference is that Damian now has him and all of his siblings. It’s still hard to let go, even if he knows his children are there to keep an eye on everything

Duke is very similar to Jason in more ways than one, epically since he was also born on the ‘poorer’ side of Gotham that most elites loathe unjustly. He’s seen it before, even with high standing black families. Being suddenly accused of stealing a watch or pickpocketing an expensive pearl necklace. Lives ruined simply because of the color of their skin

Nothing like that will ever happen to Duke in his presence. Bruce knows he can’t protect Duke from all the racism in the world, but man if he doesn’t want to try

Bruce has never let his family deal with his issues. He believes he’s simply not worth the trouble. So whenever he gets hit on at galas in ways that make him uncomfortable he just fakes a smile. When he feels unfamiliar hands touching him and grabbing at his body, he fakes more smiles and leans into if there are too many people watching.

Just as he’s about to make an excuse, any kind of excuse to finally get away and take a breather, Dick suddenly pops up in front of him while he feels Jason and Duke slide up behind him, pushing away the elites that had circled him

Bruce makes a soft confused sound, trying to figure out what was happening, but then Damian’s tugging on his sleeve and he already has his baby in his arms. The whirlwind that is Tim and Steph together sweep him away from the confused group of elites.

The group makes their way back over to where Cassandra is smiling expectantly, giggling softly at the confused expression on Bruce’s face.

“Dance with me?” She requested softly, knowing that Bruce would never refuse her. Bruce squeezes Damian to his chest before handing him over to Tim, which Damian surprisingly doesn’t protest

Bruce takes Cassandra’s hand and they dance around the ballroom floor with ease, over and over one of Bruce’s children came and swept him away before anyone else could get the chance

“Don’t worry, we got you Dad.” Dick smiled softly as Bruce spun him around before being passed over to Stephanie and Damian.

“I know.” Bruce chuckled, feeling so safe for the first time in a long time. “I know.”

reblog if you believe fanfics are as valid as books that were published and sold by authors who write as their main careers. I'm trying to prove a point

This is too cute

Dr Damian works in the NICU when they are understaffed (I think he specialises in Peadatrics and Trauma Surgery normally). He loves holding the babies and helping them thrive.

It makes the little part of his mind that fears he will never be anything other than a killer go quiet. On the bad days, holding something so precious and helping them get a good start in life, let's him sleep without visions of hell dragging him awake. Because the tiny babies need him to be gentle, so he will be.

It takes practice, but he gets good at comforting their families, too. After a stressful night, watching their child lie in a glass box and not being able to soothe them, Dr. Wayne listens to them cry and brings them coffee.

Damian explains everything he does for their baby and lets the parents help wherever possible if only to let them be able to touch their newborn. (No one questions how parents with no insurance never have to pay while under his care or how they leave the hospital with more than enough supplies like food and clothes to last for months.)

But one day, Damian held a baby girl who was struggling to breathe because she was born so early and didn't see anyone watching him. No worried parents or excited aunts and uncles. No one asks him how she is doing or waits on uncomfortable chairs. The baby girl is completely alone, and he realises she doesn't even have a name.

So Damian starts talking to her, telling her about his day, his pets, his siblings. He holds her as she is on oxygen treatment and feeds her when she starts to cry. She stares at him over the bottle, like the kittens he fostered as a child. (The nurses are relieved, apparently she hadn't been eating before then) He falls a little in love when she sleeps in his arms.

When it's time for his shift to end, she wakes up and howls whenever he tries to put her down.

Eventually, he leaves when the little girl cries herself to sleep, and Damians heart breaks, watching her in her little glass box.

He goes home, and after a restless night full of nightmares filled with the sound of crying, calls his father with an idea.

His father is supportive and gets the paperwork ready. His brothers help him set up the nursery. The girls buy all sorts of clothes and toys. Alfred stocks his fridge.

Jon comes over to calm him after he panics for the third time and reassures him he will be an excellent Dad. The Super promises to be there every step of the way. The image gives Damian butterflies that feel suspiciously like hope.

When the baby is well enough, she leaves the hospital with Damian carrying her.

Despite sleeping less now, he has never slept better than when he has Martha Al Ghul Wayne in her crib beside him.

When Martha moves to her own room a few months later, Jon helps keep the nightmares away instead.

OKAY I RHINK I GOT IT (im too indecisive i have not got it, however I have options)

Stop cause that’s so real, this is really gonna be a whole ass process 😭 identity shenanigans are always the best, I’m sure I can have some fun with that idea ^^

I do believe I would like to write Superbat fan fiction where the hell do I start chat 💔

I do believe I would like to write Superbat fan fiction where the hell do I start chat 💔

Reblog if you’re taller than Crash Bandicoot

Sorry for the long wait! New batch of kitty Batfam charms are now available!!!

Bruce, Jason, Dick, Damian, Tim and now Duke and Cass!

You can get them here in my new shop!

please reblog if possible