"She Let Out The Tears Of Pain She Was Holding In For A Long Time...

"She placed a smile on her lips but she couldn't remove the tears in her eyes...

It didn't matter cause no one ever noticed."

- Ris @crystal-snow019

obsessed with the way that gothic horror is about horror but never directly. it’s not horrific because there’s a haunted house and that’s scary, it’s horrific because the monster isn’t a monster, it’s your grief, your loss, your pride, your desire, your fear. the monster skulking in the shadows, the darkness at the edge of the woods, the haunted house that is too broken to be a home—those are manifestations of events that grabbed onto the fabric of time in a fit of abject horror and clamped down so tightly that they couldn’t keep moving forward toward resolution and eventual dissipation like they were supposed to. it’s all about the scared child and the mourning mother and the hunger in your gut and the little emptiness in your chest at the end of the day. those things are all little horrors but you can’t approach them directly to understand them, so gothic horror gives us these little metaphors and says “here play with these for a while and see what you find.” and all of those metaphors need someone to go back to childhood to release them. you have to care, and be curious and clever, and look for a way to heal the hurt. you have to be so achingly human to survive in gothic horror

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

jaemin carrying the weight of the dreamies on his shoulders

Being a young adult is so strange. You enter a coffee shop. The 20 year old girl waiting behind you cried all night because she just came to a new city for university and she feels so alone. That 27 year old guy over there works a job he is overqualified for, he lives with his parents and wants to move out but doesn't know what to do about it. That one 24 year old dude already has a car, a house, and a job waiting for him once he graduates thanks to his dad's connections. The 26 year old barista couldn't complete his higher education because he has to work and take care of his family. The 28 year old girl sitting next to you has no friends to go out with so she is texting her mother. That couple (both 25 years old) are married and the girl is pregnant. The 29 year old writing something on her laptop has realized that she chose the wrong major so she is trying to start all over. We are not alone in this, but we are actually so alone. Do you feel me

"They'll wait if they have faith"

- Ris, @crystal-snow019

I normally don’t ask for help - I struggle with asking close friends and family as is, let alone strangers. But it seems I have no choice but to come here due to family struggles.

I currently am alone, raising my son in an entirely different state than my family, going to school part time, and searching for a job that’ll work with my schedule. But until I find that job, I’m in a bit of a difficult situation. For those who don’t know, I have (diagnosed) severe depression, bipolar disorder, and anxiety. My medicine currently costs $80 altogether (as my mother was only able to pay half).

I do NOT have any medication left. I’m currently in a state of immense distress and emotional turmoil/mental instability. I don’t want my child seeing me like this, and I know it’ll only get worse. I’ve been trying to hold off until I can afford it, but at this point I truly have no option. I’m not myself.

So I ask with a heavy heart that perhaps some of you may donate. I know everyone has their own struggles, I do, and asking for help can be unreasonable and even unfair. But I truly have no other option now but to ask for support. If anyone has even a little bit to spare, I’d be forever over the moon and in your debt!

If anyone has any questions, you can message me directly. My PayPal is the image below.

Please don’t feel pressured to help. I don’t expect much but I need to try regardless! Even if you can’t donate, reblogging would be extremely helpful. Thank you!

200813 vlive ◇ jaemin

bonus:

FAST PACE— 빠른 걸음

racer!choi seungcheol x gn!reader, 0.7k words, fluff, reader is terrified of motorcycles + fast driving, cheol has/had piercings, street races, mention of lip cut

“oh no you’re crazy if you think i’m getting on that thing” you half screamed at seungcheol when he revved up his motorcycle.

the man in question giving you a mock offended look, hand placed over his chest to console his unbroken heart. “‘thing?’ baby this is our first child what do you mean?”

you raised an eyebrow at your boyfriend. he always got like this. he loved the thrills and adrenaline in life.

you however were the complete opposite. in theory, yes riding a motorcycle and driving at an insane speed in a car was cool- but in reality it was terrifying. you could be with the most safest driver in the world with no chance of crashing but you’d still be scared and sobbing the entire time.

and truth be told you didn’t get the big deal about it all. you supported your boyfriend and loved how happy he’d get when describing the rush to you but his descriptions are the closest you’ll ever allow yourself to get to motorcycles and fast cars.

“come on baby it’ll be fun!” seungcheol smiled at you, that same charming smile he gave you when you turned up at one of his races because your friend dragged you along.

“i don’t think so cheol..” you told him warily, waving your hands ‘no’ in front of his own that was inching a helmet closer to you.

seungcheol huffed out a laugh, making you look at him a little confused before he pulled you closer to him, engulfing you in a hug.

“it’s just reminding me of when we first met” he smiled, dimples marking deep on his cheek.

you smiled yourself when you thought back on the memory. back then, seungcheol hadn’t gone pro yet and only drove around for street races that your friends urged you to come with them to. it was cool to see, even if the noises made your head hurt.

“shua! you focus on the tall dude with the blonde hair, i’ll tail the one with the buzz cut, got it?” you heard someone say in front of you. when you looked up, you saw it was one of the racers on the team your friends were rooting for.

he wore a graphic tee and a leather jacket. ‘typical’ you rolled your eyes and then scanned the rest of his face to see numerous piercings on his face. looking around, you could see his friends were all pretty similar. more or less all of them wore some sort of leather attire with at least one piercing on either their eyebrow, lip or nose.

when he turned around to grab something from a friend of his he noticed your stare on him, shooting you a smirk before he got in his car.

he obviously won, coming back to cheers from the rest of his friends as well as yours. although you didn’t know much about him, you ended up naturally cheering for him too. he just looked so happy about it and honestly so cute when he hugged his friend that was racing with him.

after the crowd died down, seungcheol approached you again, asking you on a date with a flower that he said he picked and offering you a ride on his motorcycle.

now seungcheol still gets you flowers every time he finishes a race. and he still looks as cute as he did before, trying to hide the flowers behind his back to surprise you but you always know what’s coming when he walks up to you with that same grin.

his hair’s blonde now, he dyed it a few months ago and you can’t help but play with it every time- it compliments his racer jacket so well.

you brushed your thumb on his lip and then the skin on top of his cheek, below his eyes. he doesn’t wear his piercings often anymore. when you asked he said he stopped because it looks more professional without them, but he once let slip to you when he was drunk that he didn’t like wearing them after you’d accidentally cut your lip on it when you kissed him.

“so” seungcheol dragged out, motioning to his spare helmet once more and shooting you a look that said “what do you say?”

you gulped harshly, looking over the motorcycle while biting at your bottom lip. when you saw that pleading look on his face you knew you were done for.

sighing, you took the helmet from him and strapped it on then hopped on to the bike while holding seungcheol’s waist as tightly as you could. “just make sure you go super slow, okay?” you looked at him nervous.

seungcheol smiled again, moving closer to place a kiss on your cheek, “okay”

pookie🤏🙁❤️

SUCH A BABIEEEE 🥹