“You Don’t Let Go Of A Bad Relationship Because You Stop Caring About Them. You Let Go Because You

“His eyes are beautiful, captivating. It’s incredible how much eyes can tell you. They can show the pain that they’ve been through and the joy that they feel. They can be glazed over like glass or shine like stars. His now shine, even more beautiful than they did before. And they always captivate me, every single time. They always surprise me with how beautifully they glow. They make me feel comfortable, I can look into them for hours on end and try to watch the stories of his mind unravel. I like to listen to him talk, I like the way that he says things differently than I. I love how with every word he says he has me begging for the next one. Every time he speaks it’s as if all the gloomyness of the room around us has faded, and we have entered a land of paradise. His words are so gentle, planned out quickly in his mind. Oh how I wish that I could talk as calmly as he. I love his body, I love how his hips fit between mine. I love holding him in my arms because I know he’s safe from the world’s harms. It’s nice to stroke his sides, I like to glide my hands along the soft surface. His body is homely and when I am connected with it I feel calm. His hands fit perfectly with mine as if he were a missing bolt in my creation. And the way his nose will wrinkle when he frowns. His laugh is gorgeous, not the little chuckle he makes when I pull a silly face but his real laugh. His heart felt laugh, it’s truly something spectacular, it’s as if it is a melody and it has surly become my favourite song. To see him cry with laughter is a moment I am content, knowing that he his happy. He makes me feel safe, when with him I feel at home. It doesn’t matter where I am, as long as he stays by my side through the morning and the night everything will be alright. I want to travel with this man. I want him to see my favourite places, the little nooks and crannies all around the world that I have fallen in love with, I want him to fall in love with too. I want to share my secret places and I want them to become his secret place too. I want take him to the palace of my mind, I want him to be able to see the beauty that I do when I see him, I want him to understand the feeling of wholeness I get when he is near. I want to share everything I love with the one I love.”

— Home 03.08.16

have you ever fallen in love with someone that’s just so perfect? they treat you with nothing but kindness. they look at you the way people write stories about. their laugh is the sound that makes your day better. every single day. you look at them and you’re just home. i never thought i’d actually find someone like that, but i met you and suddenly we are what others dream of. you and i could conquer entire cities, discover magic and spend our entire life happy because we found each other. you are what i wished for.

4am

I see sooo many posts showing support for those who have abusive or absent fathers so here’s one for those of you whom have mentally ill mothers who didn’t raise you right because they couldn’t. 

This is for you, the ones with moms that suffer from bpd, ptsd, anxiety, depression, addiction, etc. The mothers that always go out, and the ones that never leave the house.  I’m sorry she kept you sheltered growing up because she’s afraid of the world. I’m sorry for every name she ever called you out of anger and all the crying fits she made you feel responsible for. For all the times she scolded you for buying the wrong thing or not putting the dishes away correctly. I’m sorry you had to listen to her as she screamed at you at the top of her lungs as you begged her to leave you alone. I’m sorry you can’t open up to her. I’m sorry she can’t see what a blessing you are. I’m sorry she can’t be proud of you no matter how hard you’re trying, but I am. I’m proud of you. 

You’re doing great, and you deserve to be happy and to be supported.  It isn’t your fault that she is the way she is and you can’t fix her. Whether she refuses medication or abuses it, it’s not your fault. When you start to notice her illness rubbing off on you, it’s not your fault. 

You’re more than good enough and it’s going to be okay.  I promise.

“It’s like when you read a novel and you’re so captivated by it that you don’t even realize you’re approaching the end of it until there are no more pages to turn. You’re left with this dreadful emptiness and aren’t quite sure what to do with yourself because while the book is finished, the story is living on inside of you.”

— This is what breaking up feels like - Jess Amelia 

95% of my personality is worrying I do everything wrong and that I will inevitably be abandoned because my traumatised ass is too much and simultaneously not enough

“you fall in love too quickly and with the wrong people”

—

Falling out of love taught me eight things-

1. It is surprisingly easy to stop loving someone, no matter how magnificent you once felt together.

2. There will come a time when you have to decide whether or not you can fix whatever went wrong; that decision will haunt you, no matter which way you go.

3. Even if you are no longer in love with someone, you can still care about them and watching them crumble because of you is still something terrible to witness.

4. There will be times when you doubt your feelings (do not tell them unless you are certain- it will only hurt you both).

5. People will ask you what happened and there is no easy way of explaining that you just could not be in love with them anymore.

6. Hearing about them dating someone else is still weird if only because of a leftover imprint of your name beside their’s.

7. You now understand what it feels like to fall out of love and that is something utterly terrifying when contemplated for too long.

8. It will surprise you how long it will take for you to love someone after this; the fear of them leaving you never really resides.

- K.S.

“you don’t know how much you really love the boy. not until you have to make him meet you mother. the prangs of worry that make you shiver and the negative thoughts that make you anxious make you realise, oh shit i really want mom to like him. how much your mom’s approval about him means to me. and it’s then you understand how much you love him. how badly you want to end up with him. how you are unconsciously yet madly in love with his soft black curls and devilish smile.”

— I didn’t know i loved you as much as I did, at-least not until you had to meet my mom//nikitaguptaa

For anyone who needs to hear it:

Your late teens/20s are a weird time in your life. Don’t panic if you think somebody is more “ahead” than you. The concept of being ahead is nonexistent anyway because life’s not a race and each person has different hurdles to overcome.

It’s totally fine if you’re single. It’s fine if you’re still finishing school. It’s fine if you are still looking for a better job, or for any job at all. It’s fine if you haven’t had sex yet, or haven’t gotten your driver license yet. It’s fine if you haven’t gotten your own place yet. It’s fine if you are still figuring things out, saving money, putting the pieces together. It’s fine.

Don’t feel jealous of or lesser than people your age who have done these things. You don’t know what obstacles they faced to get there and they don’t know what you’ve faced. Don’t undermine the progess you have made.

Because, trust me, you have made progress. Even if it hasn’t materialized yet in the traditional way.

You are still young. Like really young.

You got time.

Even in the same town, the same house, the same bed- we were always going to be in different places.

Poetry At Most