I’m At A Plateau Still 🥲

Okay so I just binged on kfc and a donut, it was 546 cals for the tenders and 300 cals for the donut. I’m literally so dead and want to kms. I purged it but still feel like absolute shit with a total of 1107 calories in total today.

I need to die, I am sick of this cycle.

waking up to stars on the ceiling and bruises on pale skin and battered feet on & off the scale and almonds in ziploc baggies and bite marks on fingers and hair down the drain and measuring crunches by the spots left on the spine and enough water to drown organs and eating an apple with a knife and fork and battered feet on & off the scale and desperate hands clutching ribs and standing up & the world goes dark and carrying an emergency rice cake in your purse for weak spells and enough green tea to drown organs and how many calories are in toothpaste and whatever nail polish color covers yellow and battered feet on & off the scale and is today the day my heart gives out and how many calories do you burn when you sneeze and pillows squeezed between thighs and waking up in a new body everyday and fingers clasped around wrists and notebooks filled with numbers and purple crescents below the eyes and accidentally knocking your elbow on your hip bone and being afraid of your own reflection and i’m not hungry or i already ate or i’ll eat later or i don’t feel well and oxygen that tastes like splenda and battered feet on & off the scale

Imma post some TikTok’s that I can relate too

Rainer Maria Rilke, Rilke’s Book of Hours

Dying really sounds like an option.

Amazing workouts

I found these workouts a while ago and omg they are the best but the arm workout isn’t for the faint of heart it burns

https://youtu.be/UyTR2EjTAXU

https://youtu.be/R2E3X9L3Iu4

They both take at least 4 days till you can see results but stick to them and you can lose and tone so much.

Love you 💞

I want need stick legsss

Didn’t get anywhere this week again, tried breaking gym plateau with high cal restriction but that didn’t work, but we’re lower than last week so that’s cool.

Hey everyone, I'm thinking of making a weightloss/ana discord. If anyone's interested let me know by reblogging this.

Also follow me smh

The saddest moment is going to self harm and realising you have to look for clean skin to cut...