What Did We Do To Deserve Girl Groups

a society that allows people to starve when there is food has failed. like. that’s it.

[KOR/ENG LYRICS] AMYGDALA by Agust D

I don’t know your name

I don’t know your name

I don’t know your name

요즘 기분은 어때 How do you feel these days?

I don’t know your name (your name, your name)

기억들로 여행 Travelling through my memories

지우고픈 일들 Things I want to erase

요즘 기분은 어때 (어때 어때) How do you feel these days? (how do you feel, how do you feel)

1993 (1993)

내가 태어난 달 (내가 태어난 달) The month that I was born (the month that I was born)

엄마 심장의 수술 수술 수술 Mom’s heart surgery, surgery, surgery

별의별 일이 많았지 (별의별 일이 많았지) All sorts of things happened (all sorts of things happened)

뭐가 이리 다사다난한지 (뭐가 이리 다사다난한지) Why were there so many ups and downs? (why were there so many ups and downs?)

기억조차 안 나는 기억도 The memories that you don’t even remember

다 꺼내 보자고 하나씩 Let’s bring them out, one by one

다 꺼내 보자고 하나씩 Let’s bring them out, one by one

Oh oh (oh)

최선들의 선택 (최선들의 선택) The best choice (the best choice)

다음 차선들의 선택 (다음 차선들의 선택) And then the next best choice (and then the next best choice)

차차 선들의 선택 선택 선택 yeah The next next best choice, choice, choice, yeah

원치 않던 일들 (원치 않던 일들) Things I didn’t want to happen (things I didn’t want to happen)

내 통제 밖의 일들 (내 통제 밖의 일들) Things out of my control (things out of my control)

자 집어넣자 하나둘 Ok, let’s put them back, one and two

그래 하나둘 그래 하나둘 That’s right, one and two, that’s right, one and two

I don’t know your name (your name, your name)

기억들로 여행 (여행 여행) Travelling through my memories (travelling, travelling)

I don’t know your name (your name, your name)

자 지워보자 하나씩, 그래 하나씩 Ok, let’s erase it one by one, that’s right, one by one

My amygdala (my amygdala)

어서 나를 구해줘 어서 나를 구해줘 Hurry up and save me, hurry up and save me

My amygdala (my amygdala)

어서 나를 꺼내줘 어서 나를 꺼내줘 Hurry up and set me free, hurry up and set me free

My amygdala (my amygdala)

My amygdala (my amygdala)

이곳에서 구해줘 어서 빨리 꺼내줘 Save me from this place, hurry up and set me free now

Uh uh 그래 참 별의별 일이 많았지 Uh uh, that’s right, all sorts of things happened

Uh uh 귓가엔 엄마 심장 시계 소리 Uh uh, mom’s heartbeat, the clock’s ticking in my ear

Uh uh 전하지 못했던 내 사고 소식과 Uh uh, my accident that I couldn’t tell them about

스케줄 중에 걸려 온 전환 The phone call I got during work

아버지의 간암 소식 was the news of my father’s liver cancer

최선의 선택들이 맞았었길 I hope all the best decisions were right

그 또한 모두 지나가 버렸기에 And that too has all passed

그래서 이 수많은 고통은 날 위한 것일까 So was all of this misery meant for me?

끊임없던 시련은 날 죽이지 못했고 The neverending trials did not kill me

다시금 나는 연꽃을 피워내 I bloom into a lotus flower again

Oh oh (oh)

최선들의 선택 (최선들의 선택) The best choice (the best choice)

다음 차선들의 선택 (다음 차선들의 선택) And then the next best choice (and then the next best choice)

차차 선들의 선택 선택 선택 yeah The next next best choice, choice, choice, yeah

원치 않던 일들 (원치 않던 일들) Things I didn’t want to happen (things I didn’t want to happen)

내 통제 밖의 일들 (내 통제 밖의 일들) Things out of my control (things out of my control)

자 집어넣자 하나둘 Ok, let’s put them back, one and two

그래 하나둘 그래 하나둘 That’s right, one and two, that’s right, one and two

I don’t know your name (your name, your name)

기억들로 여행 (여행 여행) Travelling through my memories (travelling, travelling)

I don’t know your name (your name, your name)

자 지워보자 하나씩, 그래 하나씩 Ok, let’s erase it one by one, that’s right, one by one

My amygdala (my amygdala)

어서 나를 구해줘 어서 나를 구해줘 Hurry up and save me, hurry up and save me

My amygdala (my amygdala)

어서 나를 꺼내줘 어서 나를 꺼내줘 Hurry up and set me free, hurry up and set me free

My amygdala (my amygdala)

My amygdala (my amygdala)

이곳에서 구해줘 어서 빨리 꺼내줘 Save me from this place, hurry up and set me free now

Trans cr; Annie | Spot Check cr; Faith, Aditi, Rinne & Ali @ bts-trans © TAKE OUT WITH FULL CREDITS

Sirius: PEEEETERR give a kiss to your new girlfriend!! Peter: aaaah! Get that thing away from meeeeeeee!!!!!

Bonus: 

How I Overcame Reader’s Block (And So Can You!)

As a kid, I adored reading.  Okay, more specifically, I enjoyed reading about dragons, but that’s not the issue here.  

It frequently coincided with my equally as intense love of climbing trees, and some of my fondest memories involve being perched in a small tree and reading some hopelessly goofy, dragon-related literature while my mom and toddler siblings used the playground equipment.  If no climbable trees were available, I’d settle for reading under one and drinking a thermos of chocolate milk while they ran around in the park. 

As I got older, my tastes got a little more eclectic as I encountered Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Anne Shirley, the residents of Narnia and Middle Earth, respectively, and much to my mother’s horror, Stephen King, but my passion remained more or less the same.    

Bottom line is, I loved reading.  It was my paramount joy, my primary source of entertainment, and I didn’t think that would ever change.

So imagine my shock when, around my sophomore year of college at the age of seventeen, it occurred to me that I hadn’t really read for pleasure since I discovered the Hunger Games a year or two prior.  Moreover, and equally as horrifically, when I tried to read I found I couldn’t focus;  regardless of the quality of the story and how much I wanted to read it, the investment was gone.

Whether this was due to my first stint with organized education (prior to college, I was homeschooled) or the fact that I’d grown accustomed to the bite-sized chunks of candy-flavored, insubstantial information served up by the internet, the sad and simple fact was that I had fallen out of love with reading, and it looked like it was going to stay that way forever.   

Well, flash forward two-point-five years to Present-Day Brooksie, and since school got out in early May, I’ve read Chuck Palahniuk’s Make Something Up: Stories You Can’t Unread, Ruth Ware’s In a Dark, Dark Wood, Emma Straub’s The Vacationers, Neil Gaiman’s The Graveyard Book, and Celeste Ng’s Everything I Never Told You.  Despite the disappointing lack of dragons, I loved all of them.    

I drink books like nectar again, if you’ll pardon the floral language, and everything from the quality of my writing to the quality of my life has improved as a result of it.  

So how did I fall back in love with reading?  Well, I’ve spent a lot of time pontificating on this, and as far as I can tell, it can be narrowed down to three factors:

1.  Reading every day.

It started with lunch.  Every day, when I’d sit down at my university cafe, I used to get out my laptop and watch YouTube or whatnot while I ate my sandwich – a cool idea in theory, but really sort of gross whenever I rubbed my greasy fingers on the mouse and keyboard. 

When I made a conscious decision to read more, I began taking out my book and reading during the lunch period instead.  It didn’t come naturally at first – I was easily distracted and kept zoning out – but I ultimately found it very pleasant, especially when I listened to some classical music in the background as well (nice for atmosphere, and for drowning out noise and distractions.)  

I kept doing it.  

When that summer rolled around, I rediscovered an amazing little outdoor cafe by the harbor.  It had no wifi, which for my purposes, was absolutely perfect.

I went there to read Good Omens and eat home baked lemon squares, pie, and banana bread, listening to international tourists speak in other languages, and watch the boats go by.  It was a beautiful environment, and that (coupled with the fact that Good Omens is just really fucking awesome) made it easier than ever for me to want to stay longer and become more engrossed in what I was reading.

Afterwards, I’d take out my notebook and work on my own stories and journal.  Overall, I’d say that summer was one of the most intellectually productive I’ve had.  

Once school started again, it got a little harder to read every day, but by then my love of reading had pretty much caught:  it had become an intellectual drug for me again, a source of comfort, pleasure, and inspiration.  Also, it was another viable excuse to procrastinate on my academic responsibilities, which was always welcome.  So I kept reading.  It was still a relatively slow process, as I had to work around my already busy schedule, but the more I read the more adept I became at drinking in the information in hungry, satisfying gulps (a bit more suggestive than I’d initially intended that metaphor to be, but I’m going to go with it.)

But this isn’t to say that there were no bumps in the road back to bibliophilia.  There was another factor that I had to grasp before I reached the point where I could unabashedly adore reading once again.

Which is: 

2.  Reading what excites me.

No, I’m not speaking sexually, you pervert.  I’m talking about books I actually want to read.  

When I first started trying to get back into literature, I started trying to read the classics exclusively, like Around the World in Eighty Days and Little Women.  Let me be clear, these books are amazing (excluding the jarring amounts of racism and endorsements of British colonialism in the former) but after semesters of reading similar works for my literature seminars, they just felt a little like…academia.  

In fact, the only reason I was insistent on reading classics exclusively, I now realize, was because I was a pretentious, pseudo intellectual little shit back in those days with a horrible case of impostor syndrome.  What I needed to re-learn was what dragon-loving, Ten-Year-Old Brooksie long since already knew: the best way to enjoy reading is to read what you actually enjoy.

It was a lesson I slowly but surely remastered, and it took me a while to realize that modern literature is teaming with smart, enriching reads, like Life of Pi, American Gods, Where’d You Go Bernadette, The Twelve Tribes of Hattie, The Help, Everything I Never Told You, and countless others.  

Moreover, these were books I didn’t have to force myself to read;  they were books I found myself reading at four AM because I didn’t want to stop.  

I’ve also discovered classics that I can eat up in a matter of days, like A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (Which absolutely everyone should read, by the way:  Francie Nolan is a feminist icon, and way, way ahead of her time, not to mention it’s fucking hilarious and will make you cry like a little bitch), Jane Eyre, and basically anything written by Jane Austen.  I love these books for their sharp wit, applicable and timeless life observations, and striking lack of the pretentiousness that I’d come to associate with a lot of classic literature.

This summer, I my reading list includes Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse 5, Douglas Adams’ The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Chuck Palahniuk’s Fight Club, Louis Sachar’s Holes, Anthony Doerr’s All the Light We Cannot See, and Neil Gaiman’s Anansi Boys.  I’m looking forward to reading each and every one of them. 

Ultimately, the point I’m trying to make here is that there’s no joy to be found in pretentiousness:  don’t read to prove yourself as an intellectual.  Read to enrich your soul, read what you legitimately enjoy, and read what inspires you.  

Which brings me to my next and final point…   

3.  Reading what inspires me.

This one might be true specifically for my fellow authors, but since I know a large portion of my followers are fellow authors, I think it’s applicable here.  

Ever since I was an infinitesimally small child, I’ve wanted to write stories.  When I was fourteen I wrote a hopelessly angsty YA novel about a half-dragon girl named Freedom and her misadventures with an ambiguously lesbian vampire and werewolf duo, a seductive and ambiguously bisexual elf (it was a time of self discovery for me), and a talking lion.  When I was eleven, I wrote a middle grade novel about a little boy who befriends a dragon.  When I was four, I wrote *ahem!* drew wordless stories about a winged wolf-creature named Starlight and his (in retrospect, overtly gory) battles with monsters.

It was bizarre, cringey, and I’m not gonna lie, pretty fucking awesome.  

Around the time I started college at around sixteen, I’d just decided I wanted to start writing again.  I had lots of ideas, and I remember in detail getting yelled at by my manager for scribbling in my notebook behind the counter instead of dutifully smiling at customers the way I was supposed to.  

But my writing was…well, to put it bluntly, it was really, really bad.  It only began to improve when I resolved to write every day.  It noticeably and drastically began to improve when I began to read works that I found creatively inspiring. 

While I was revising my manuscript, I read a lot of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, both masters of the kind of urban fantasy I was attempting to write,  and spent a lot of time figuring out what I loved most about their writing and how to best apply it.  This was also around the time I began reading Douglas Adams, which was, let me tell you, a magical experience.  It involved a lot of delighted gasping on my end and thinking you’re allowed to do that?

It really showed me what the barriers were for creative writing, or in this case, total lack thereof.

I think I owe these writers a lot for helping me to create several novel-length manuscripts I’m incredibly proud of, and one that I’m currently preparing to get published.

So in closing, for anyone suffering from reader’s block, feel free to try my approach:  read every day, read what you love and not to stoke your ego, and for my writer peeps, read what inspires you.

Either way, my books and I are enjoying a passionate long-term relationship, and every day I find myself loving them more.

Would you recommend Luna and the lie? Are you still reading it?? What about other booms by the same author?

Yes I would! Tbh I think I once said holly black was the queen of slowburns but I might have lied lol it’s Mariana Zapata. Like genuinely the slowest of burns. I would definitely recommend her other books, plus it’s kinda cool to see they’re all set in the same universe.

They’re long and usually enemies to friends to lovers. I think of all the books I’ve read from her, Only two are on my dnf list lol.

The wall of Winnipeg and me, one of my favorites. I can go back multiple times to read that one haha. Personal assistant of this super huge super stoic football player quits her job and said football player tries to entice her while also keep his residency by asking her to marry him. “You know more about me than anyone else does.” was what really cut my heart up.

Kulti, that was one that I wasn’t sure I was going to like but ended up really enjoying. The girls soccer team has a new retired player coach and he’s such a hard ass but she takes it in stride bc her MO is being better than she was five minutes ago. They clash a lot then they don’t. “It’s a term of affection in my country. My love. My snail.” Hahaha I started tearing up at that one.

Under Locke, that was different but good different, more intense than the others and is kinda similar to how I felt with Kulti. Her dads a bad guy and she moves in with her brother so he could keep an eye on her, meanwhile getting her a job at a tattoo parlor where the boss is a sorta gang member. “But I'm not a good man, and I'm gonna take everythin' you want to give me and everythin' you don’t.” Oof. My loins.

Luna and the lie, which I thoroughly enjoyed and might be my new favorite. She’s moved away from her crazy dangerous family taking her sisters with her and her newest boss is a hardass who believes he owes her a favor after she lied to the cops for him...except every favor she asks, he insists is not part of the deal. “You haven’t listened to a single fucking thing I’ve said, have you? Seen a single thing I’ve done? You’re the only person who hasn’t put shit together?” Be still my heart.

Wait for it, as most of her books are heartbreaking at some points, this one kinda started out on heartbreak but it was the way she dealed with it that made my heart so soft. After gaining custody of her brothers two sons, she moves to a new town where their new baseball coach/ neighbor is a little resentful of all the attention he usually gets, and becuase of a misunderstanding he thinks she’s just as bad as everyone else who hits on him. “Do you love me?, I asked him like I did every night just to hear him say it.” The kiddos in this were too adorable.

From lukov with love, turned out seriously sweet but I wasn’t surprised. Enemies on ice haha literally. He’s a pretty famous ice skater and she still struggles to reach her goal. He needs a new partner and wants her to be it. “‘We both know you love me.’ I wanted to deny it. I really did. Mostly because I hated the fact that he sounded so smug. But we both knew I’d be lying.” Truly the most enemies to lovers of them all.

Becuase how they’re all slowburns, I got really, really invested haha. Also learned a lot about certain sports and tattooing? And car painting? And uhh motorcycle clubs? Loved the family and friendship dynamics even if some of the family dynamics were so awful I wanted to punch characters through the pages; it was just well thought out and I felt every emotion. The main characters were also pretty badass and hilarious at times, if not a little naïve where it counted. Would definitely recommend if you want a contemporary romance to read and get invested in.

Remember the last clip? It shook us, right? But we saw it coming because of the spoiler pics that was leaked, which sucks. Imagine not knowing that fight happening? The shock level would have been off the charts!!

It’s fun to watch without a spoiler, so please, please, please.. someone petition for Skam fans to notice this thing, like.. the Skam cast will be filming the whole week, leave them alone. I want a spoiler free experience, damn it!

i miss being able to read books just for FUN. not for analysis or essays. not for extra studying on a school subject. not in preparation for an exam. not to find something for your college applications. just READING because you ENJOY the book and being able to do things in your own pace. i miss that.

I am so fascinated by the way they’re falling in love, it’s so fragile and soft. sometimes they have those types of flirting that you blink and you miss it, but you don’t want to miss anything so you pay close attention to everything. and suddenly you can see how Yousef look at her and how Sana glows every time she catches him, they haven’t even properly touched yet, not even a handshake, i think and yet…. you can see by simple actions like that fb message he sent supporting her or he starting conversations just to see her smile, how gone is that boy for her.