Yeah. It Would Suck If You Were A Swan Who Grew Up With Ducks And Never Saw Another Swan So Just Thought

Please don’t send me asks for donations, especially if you have graphic photos in them.

I can’t help, I’m a minor and they make me really uncomfortable.

Thanks for the tag!

Last song: If You Want To by beabadoobee

Favourite colour: green

Last book: The Secret History (currently re reading and annotating the song of Achilles)

Last tv show: i dont really watch shows but the last film i watched was Hamilton

Sweet/savoury/spicy: Sweet

Last thing i googled: stock image of a man holding a british and lgbt flags (i captioned it with "the marauders be like" and sent it to my friends)

Looking forward to: my friends coming over this weekend

currently obsessed with: Sharks

No pressure tags @woods3115 @inkprincesse @w1nterb3rrry

people i'd like to know better <3

tagged by @assignmentimprobable - thank you friend!

edit: also tagged by @redbelles thank you meg!!!

Last Song: marigolds by gwen stefani

Favorite Color: blue!

Last Book: the grandest stage by tyler kepner

Last TV Show: JAG (judge advocate general)

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: sweet

Last thing I googled: "NMOC aerosol"

Looking Forward To: may 1, when i will have some fucking clarity on [redacted].

Current Obsessions: jag all day all the time. i'm sure you all have seen the semi-regular tumblr breakdowns

Tagging: Going to tag the last few mutuals in my notifs! @ruztyryan @weisse-rose @sluttyhenley @captastra @pixlerelish @waxworkdaughter @vcollies @captainstressed and anyone else, just say I tagged you!

Things I wish robots could do for me:

Order at restaurants

Clean toilets

Turn off the lights while I’m in bed

Make sure my blankets never fall off the bed

Make me toast

Things I don’t want robots to do:

Think for me

Replace human thought and logic

is it just me who goes through cycles where i play minecraft religiously for one week every third month

Burn (Laurens' version)

I saved every letter you wrote me

From the moment I read them,

I knew you were mine

You said you were mine

You really were mine

Do you know what my father said

When I ripped your first letter open?

He said, "Be careful with that one, son

I don't see a point in you hoping,"

You and your words flooded my senses.

Your sentences left me defenseless

You ruined palaces with your paragraphs

You wrecked cathedrals

I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me

Trying to find an explanation for every line

Each word is a sign

You really were mine

The world could just burn

Burn

They'll destroy all the letters I wrote you

They'll fool the whole world into thinking that we were just friends

A dangerous game

They have hidden our lives.

Do you know what my father said

When he found the letters in file

He said, "In all your affections,

He is making you more than just smile,"

You and your words,

No care for our legacy

Your sentences border on senseless

And I am made paranoid by every paragraph

How will they perceive you?

You, you, you

They will erase us from the narrative

Let future historians wonder,

What happened to Laurens?

When the war ended

The war never ended

I watch my heart burn

Watching it burn

The world has no right to my heart

The world cannot see in my head

They don't get to know what I said

They're burning the memories

Burning the letters

That might have exposed you

I wish you could stay in my heart

You won't leave your place in my head

I'll love you in silence instead

I'm keeping the memories of when you were mine

I hope they don't burn

So this is a rewrite of Burn from Hamilton in the perspective of John Laurens because they were gay. Idk what else to say tbh. ill post an analysis of it later if i can be bothered

aww thank you, right back at you

but also @girl-rudely-interrupted @preposterousray @pigeons-on-crack @crunchyaps

When the mutual you really enjoy seeing in ur notes shows up in ur notes

In the first verse its him being hopelessly in love. I specifically used the phrase "You were mine" over and over in reference to the signing of all their letters between each other with "yrs" and the last one was signed "yrs forever" and he sent it a day before Laurens died so we dont know if he even got it. Never getting over that. Then we have the classic homophobic dad, shattering his manic pixie girl dreams (he wanted to live in a cottage in the woods with Alex and 17 cats). Then the next verse is about how helpless he made him feel (reference) and you know when you like someone and its all wobbly and they consume your every waking thought and they can send you spiraling with a glance. Yeah that. Then "trying to find an explanation for every line" is him panicking because what if people find out? How will I make them think we were just guys being bros when its so painfully obvious I loved him? Are we throwing away our shot (reference) at making the history books with this relationship? Is it worth it? Then he realises that history has its ways of doing that for them, somewhere along the line it'll get twisted and our relationship will be called platonic. Then he's wondering if he really wants that? It's dangerous to pretend. It's just not true. Homophobic dad part 2 when he finds the letters. [Enter homophobic dog meme: I know what you are] Now he turns on Alex, he says Alex doesn't care for their legacy, Laurens worries for their impact on history which he might not get to make if this gets out. "they will erase us from the narrative" and Laurens being glad they will, and then the repeated phrase "the war never ended". this bit is important because it has a double meaning. 1: When the war ended, he died straight after, so yes, for him the war never ended it pretty much carried on to the end of his life. 2: His inner battles/war over his relationship w Hamilton and all the other internal stuff, which is what the song is about. This is followed up by the realisation that the world has no right to know about their personal lives, basically. Then the final decision to keep the memories. The last line is a quiet "i hope they dont burn" in reference to the letters/memories.

Oof thats a lot. okay i hope you enjoyed

Burn (Laurens' version)

I saved every letter you wrote me

From the moment I read them,

I knew you were mine

You said you were mine

You really were mine

Do you know what my father said

When I ripped your first letter open?

He said, "Be careful with that one, son

I don't see a point in you hoping,"

You and your words flooded my senses.

Your sentences left me defenseless

You ruined palaces with your paragraphs

You wrecked cathedrals

I'm re-reading the letters you wrote me

Trying to find an explanation for every line

Each word is a sign

You really were mine

The world could just burn

Burn

They'll destroy all the letters I wrote you

They'll fool the whole world into thinking that we were just friends

A dangerous game

They have hidden our lives.

Do you know what my father said

When he found the letters in file

He said, "In all your affections,

He is making you more than just smile,"

You and your words,

No care for our legacy

Your sentences border on senseless

And I am made paranoid by every paragraph

How will they perceive you?

You, you, you

They will erase us from the narrative

Let future historians wonder,

What happened to Laurens?

When the war ended

The war never ended

I watch my heart burn

Watching it burn

The world has no right to my heart

The world cannot see in my head

They don't get to know what I said

They're burning the memories

Burning the letters

That might have exposed you

I wish you could stay in my heart

You won't leave your place in my head

I'll love you in silence instead

I'm keeping the memories of when you were mine

I hope they don't burn

So this is a rewrite of Burn from Hamilton in the perspective of John Laurens because they were gay. Idk what else to say tbh. ill post an analysis of it later if i can be bothered

no rizz just a morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs

I have absolutely no chill

im a walking talking stereotype im afraid

oh look. another trans boy named alex on tumblr. join the club dude.

alright buddy

how does it feel to also show up on those basic trans guy name lists?