I Feel Like You’ll Appreciate This Flavor Of Feral Brain Rot As A True Delicacy.

Here's my take on Siren Danny AU

Danny is an opera singer. A damn good one at that. He can make the most stone cold of people cry and the most mellow of people rage with his singing. At this point it's like an open secret that he's totally a meta.

Many have tried to kidnap him to use his powers to brainwash others. But all that approach him end up renouncing their criminal ways. The public is enamored, the underworld is scared, and Batman is concerned. Especially when he finds out Nightingale's next tour stop is Gotham.

The fucking cat! The story of how Luke found a true friend in the captivity of the Red Keep, and Aemond found another enemy

Cursing through his teeth, Aemond furiously slammed the door to Lucerys' quarters and clutched the deep, bleeding scratch on the back of his hand. He decided to ignore the muffled laughter coming from behind that door. Fucking hell, Aemond hated that bloody beast! It was just absurd, but yes, among those he considered his personal nemesis was a cat. What's more, Aemond was sure that the cat considered him his nemesis too

Having supported his grandfather's idea to fill the castle with cats instead of the rat catchers Aegon had executed, he thought it was a good idea. After all, there were no negative aspects - the cats didn't demand payment, couldn't spy for the enemy, and generally couldn't do any harm, except maybe scratch the tapestries. How, damn it, he was wrong!

The first time he'd seen the creature was in the garden when he'd gone in search of his nephew and sister. Not that he had any urgency to do so, but Helaena and the boy had become too close lately and he… had to keep an eye on things. As he walked past the old apple tree, he heard a low, threatening sound, and when he looked around, he saw a shaggy, reddish beast that could only be considered a domestic cat in name only. The animal was large and looked completely wild, and it had only one eye. Aemond hummed and continued on his way, ignoring that the cat was still making its frightening noises. If only he had known then, he would have slashed this fur demon with his sword, without remorse.

The second time he met the monster was in his nephew's chambers, when he came to check that the boy was all rig… meaning that he was not up to something naughty or stupid. After all, Aemond knew better than anyone how well the little bastard could cause trouble. His hands were full because that morning the servants had made another mistake and added plum cake to Aemond's breakfast, even though he always skipped dessert. So, just to save the food, he decided to give it to the boy. Especially since kid seemed very thin, and they didn't want rumors to spread in court that they were starving Lucerys. He also had a book about the Lorathi mazemakers, a rare item from his own collection, but that was nothing, he just wanted to keep the boy busy and less thinking about various tricks. So, when he entered the room, he didn't have time to react and cover his head when something furry, with long claws and absolutely fierce attacked him from somewhere above. Aemond could only turn his face away a little, put his left half up, and be 'glad' that his eye was already gone.

'Sir Pam!'

His nephew's worried voice slightly distracted the beast from trying to tear at Aemond's face, and Aemond could throw the rabid thing off him.

'Uncle, what are you doing? Careful, don't be so rough, you've scared him enough!'

Aemond blinked his eyes in shock. The only eye he had miraculously saved, by the way.

'Scared it? This creature has decided to finish your life's work and rob me of my vision for ever.'

'Poor Sir Pam, he's just a bit nervous, he's been through a lot and needs to be treated with care.'

'Sir Pam?'

Aemond looked at the ferocious cat, who was now crawling under the chair and hissing angrily.

'Well, I mean Sir Pumpkin. He's so ginger and cute, doesn't he look like a pumpkin?'

‘More like a demon from the seventh hell’ Aemond wanted to reply, but he refrained, noticing how admiringly his nephew was looking at the cat. Lucerys, usually so gloomy, was wearing such a lovely smile on his face that he didn't want to escalate the conflict, especially since what did a few minor scratches mean to a grown man and a warrior? Aemond didn't even feel anything.

What Aemond didn't realise is that this was only the very beginning. For from then on, whenever he visited his nephew, for the purely practical purpose of control of course, the Beast was there, and it was out for Aemond's blood. Lucerys just shrugged his shoulders and assured him that Sir Pam (for the love of the fucking gods!) was ‘a polite and gentle kitty’ and that Aemond just scares him. Aemond could have argued about who was scaring whom, but then he remembered what he was and why he couldn't be afraid of some flea-bitten thing.

The turning point occurred when one night, Aemond woke up with an odd weight on his chest. Opening an eye, he met the glowing eye of a demon in the darkness. The cat was standing on him, pawing at him with its needle-like claws. Deciding that he had finally had enough, Aemond jerked the blanket off and, disregarding the cat's crazed mewing, wrapped the animal in it like a sack. He would have it drowned by the first servant he met. No! He would drown the creature himself, personally, to make sure! And he would have done so, for certain, but for the memory of Lucerys gently caressing and murmuring to the cat. And then, so inappropriately, he felt shame. Aemond sighed heavily and changed his route.

It was late at night and there was no one around except the guards. But Aemond did not care.

When he entered Lucerys' chambers without knocking, he was awake. Irritated, Aemond threw his rolled-up blanket on the bed, from which a tousled animal jumped out and dashed into a dark corner. Aemond pointed his finger in that direction and barked:

'It! It was in my room!'

'Oh' only managed to say the stunned Luke.

'I should have drowned it!'

Luke remained silent, but Aidan noticed that his nephew's eyes were beginning to shine suspiciously moist. He shook his head and sighed. His temper had suddenly evaporated.

'I didn't do it' he said calmly to the boy.

Luke nodded, opened his mouth as if to say something, but instead suddenly sobbed. Oh, no… no, no, no! But the dam had already burst, and Lucerys began to cry uncontrollably, clutching his shoulders.

Aemond was not ready for this. He stood there in his nightgown, in the middle of his little nephew's room, who was a hostage guest, and he felt like a completely fool. Now he even wanted the cat to scratch him as hard as he could, if only it would make Lucerys stop crying.

'I didn't. And I won't.'

He hesitantly approached Luke. The boy shook his head and spoke through his tears:

'I… it's just… Pammy's like the only good thing here. I can't see Arrax, I can't leave, you're at war with mom and I… '

And that's when Aemond really recognised that he had completely screwed up. He really needed to bite his tongue to keep from blurting out something about how he would fix it. Seeing his nephew in tears and suffering had once been almost a cherished dream for him, but now the sight of it only made something painfully tighten in his own chest.

Without allowing himself to analyse his own actions, Aemond crossed the small distance between them and covered Luke in his arms. The boy didn't resist, only sobbed wetly and hugged him even closer, causing his heart to skip a beat.

Fucking cat! Aemond had fallen irrevocably in love with Lucerys Velarion, and it was all the fault of the fucking cat!

Hahahaki AU Klance fic (link) commission for anon~

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The Crime Lord does not stop flirting with me!

When Danny ran away from home and ended up in Gotham he wasn't quite sure what to do, adrenaline was coursing through his veins and all he wanted was a place to be safe.

That's when Crime Alley lit up like a Christmas tree and Danny knew it could be his new home, something about Crime Alley was drawing him in. It wasn't long before he decided to get a job to lay low. Of course, the latter was a bust because Red Hood noticed him almost instantly.

Contrary to his expectations, the Crime Lord took an interest in him but said nothing. He simply asked him to repair his motorcycle like a normal customer in his new job. Danny did and well, he couldn't help but repair some damaged systems and add some modifications. He hoped he wasn't stepping out of line, he just couldn't help himself, it was second nature to repair damaged things.

He thought Red Hood would be angry about it but the man seemed delighted (or as delighted as he could look with the mask), he looked at Danny and asked him what else he could do. Nervously, he told him that he was somewhat good with technology and before he knew it he had been hired by a gang (more or less, they were just asking for some custom orders).

So, technically he established as the mechanic and supplier to the Hood gang, and more specifically to the Crime Lord himself. He gave Hood some upgrades and became his supplier of (mostly harmless) weapons and upgrades. This attracted the attention of most of the gangs that were against the Crime Lord and Batman himself.

Jason, noticing how nervous the guy was assured him that he would protect him and no one was going to hurt him as long as he was around, it was obvious he wasn't from Gotham. For some reason, his new employee blushed every time he said those words.

Danny didn't know if Red Hood understood what he was doing (That was totally a flirt for protection spirits!), every day it was getting harder and harder not to respond to him. His ghost side kept screaming that he got a good match!

Which was technically true, considering that Red Hood had promised him protection and let him stay in his haunt (it became obvious that Crime Alley was his haunt after a few days in Gotham but strangely it accepted him)

Jason continued to promise Danny that he would be safe (poor boy always looked nervous) and Danny wondered how many days he could take the blatant flirting.

Reasons I find the Damian Wayne/Danny Fenton ship really funny (besides the ship name being Dead Serious which is truly bespoke):

Tim: Well, they say that kids often date people that remind them of their parents.

Damian: That is ludicrous. Danny is nothing like father or mother.

Tim: No, but look.

Danny: And than I said "Oh yeah? You and what toaster?"

Dick: *wheezing laughter* Oh my god, that's so good. I should use that!

Damian: *dawning horror*

Tim: Good luck buddy. I hope Danny at least knows how to dress himself properly.

Underrated thing I love about your fics - short Keith!! I forget where in “Where the Apple Falls” I realized he was shorter than Lance but omg that stuff is like crack cocaine to me. It makes so much sense, especially with your characterization of him. Strong but not very tall, and certainly not leggy Lance tall (hc that Lance outgrew him during their time in space and would not shut up about it until he realized keith looking up at him was weirdly cute/hot(???) and he proceeded to never mention it again out of embarrassment). Imagining Keith as shorter than every single other McClain except for Lances mom and the children was an A+ visual. He’s just a little guy.

Keith being shorter than Lance's sisters is actually the most important thing in the world to me

Jason the bard makes so much sense to me

The campaign didn't end well tbh

Lance ur not fooling anyone

They're twins your honor

I looked at the canon Pariah Dark and realized that something was wrong. The most stereotypical villain? Well, noooo.

(In any case, ghosts are made up of ectoplasm. They can probably change how they want. It's not a genderswap, it's just thin. And long. Like super-tall, haha. Inhumanly tall. Anything about how the Crown drained most of his powers, he deflated, and now he's stuck in the human world with his heir looking after him? Heh.)

It's just the perfect material to cause an aneurysm in a family of bats.

So, the tired Bitburger worker who served them decided that it was probably time for her to quit after all