Not To Be THAT Guy But….

go to simp jail

So I’m rewatching ghosts of Christmas past and I remember how much I love Scott. I wish we’d gotten more of him.

I know ok look at him. Look at this boy. They never wrote him out of the show but man did they write him into it. His rocky start with Tom that weaves into an unlikely love. His tragic whirlwind romance in The Straw Woman. He saves Cully from her friends. He steals Joyce’s heart by having no taste buds. Tough upbringing. Anger issues. Hates the country. Big mouth. Soft heart. John Hopkins’ performance. John Hopkins’ performance. The ridiculous swagger. The dry wit. The flirting. The loneliness. Those long legs and their stupid strut and that stupid pretty face and Christmas at the Barnabys’ and choosing to stay in Midsomer, choosing to stay cause that’s his home now, of all places, and maybe he’s never had one and

me promising three weeks ago that after eurovision 2023 was over I’d return to normal

No seriously officer, I didn’t mean it when I googled “what is the worst place to bite a human” I didn’t mean it I promise

Scar saw the poll turn green. He cheered to himself and smirked.

“About time someone acknowledged my sexiness,” Scar said to himself. He scrolled back up to the bracket, looking for his next competitor. He read the name and paused.

Technoblade.

He swallowed a large mouthful of air. Behind him, he heard the sick sound of steel scraping its scabbard.

—

“Doc, my brother from another mama!” Ren shouted. He leaned over the edge of the Perimeter, looking for his friend. “Did’ja see the bracket? We’re up against each other!” He heard nothing.

“Doc?” Ren shouted slightly louder.

“I heard, Ren,” Doc said. Ren turned around slowly, finding Doc standing over him in his ripped lab coat, taut muscles exposed to the elements that surrounded him. “And I’m sorry that your time in the bracket has to end this way.”

—

“Oi, Pearl!” Cleo said, landing next to their fellow hermit.

“Hiya, Cleo!” Pearl said. “Is this about the bracket?”

“Yep,” Cleo said. “I just wanted to stop by and say, no hard feelings.”

“Why would there be hard feelings?” Pearl asked.

“Well, no one’s heard from Zloy since I beat him into a pulp,” Cleo said. “I just wanted to make sure you knew there’s no shame in losing.”

“What makes you think you’re gonna win?”

Cleo arched her eyebrows menacingly and glared at Pearl.

“No, Pearl, I don’t think I’m going to win,” they said. “I know.”

—

“Hi Joel!” BDubs shouted. His head had just shot up out of a bush on Joel’s island.

“Good lore, BDubs!” Joel shouted, quickly moving his foot out of the way. “How did you even get here?”

“The power of my sexy prowesses!” BDubs said enthusiastically. He disentangled himself from the foliage and drew himself up to full height, which was not particularly tall. “You know what they’re saying about me on the Tumbles, right?”

“I think they actually think I’m sexier,” Joel said.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” BDubs said, attempting to throw his arm over Joel’s shoulder. Unfortunately, he couldn’t reach, so he awkwardly backed away with an outstretched arm.

“I am, as you know, a very tall and sexy god of lore,” Joel said. “I think that beats ‘weird mossy dwarf’ any day.”

—

Scott cursed as he slipped on a rock. He had been crawling through the wilderness for several hours, searching for his competitor, but he had finally come close. He checked his map one more time, seeing how far he had come. Looking up, he saw a small wooden cabin. He approached it and knocked on the door.

Etho opened it, allowing savory smoke to waft into Scott’s nose.

“What’s up?” Etho asked.

“I just came to tell you…” Scott said nervously, “we’re up against each other in the bracket…”

“Oh, that’s fun!” Etho said.

“And that I’m going to tell my fans that if they don’t vote for me they’re homophobic,” Scott said.

Scott couldn’t see it, but deep down he knew that Etho was frowning disapprovingly.

—

Grian walked into Mumbo’s base, following some weird, high-pitched noise from his own base.

“MumboJumbo!” a voice was singing. “I am hotter!”

"Mumbo?” Grian whispered hopefully. Following the sound, he walked deeper, approaching the slight opening in the walls of Mumbo’s vault. The noise grew, and Grian’s hopes grew with it.

Those hopes deflated when he entered and saw Slimecicle dropping slimeballs on every surface.

“MumboJumbo!” the autotuned voice continued. “Come and fight me!”

Grian sighed heavily, turned, and left.

—

Wilbur was walking towards his front door when he noticed Joe Hills sitting on his porch.

“Oh,” Wilbur said. “You’re Joe, right?”

"Yes I am!” Joe said.

“Is this about the bracket?” Wilbur asked.

“Oh, that silly thing?” Joe said. “No, not in the slightest! I just wanted to say howdy!”

“Do you want to come in or something?” Wilbur offered. “I have soup if you want it. And I’ve been told I make some pretty good burgers.”

“No, that’s fine,” Joe said. “I’m good just sitting right here.”

“OK, then,” Wilbur said, opening the door. He walked inside and looked around. On a hunch, he checked upstairs. Nothing was amiss. He came back down to find Joe sitting exactly where he had left him.

“Are you going to… move or something?” Wilbur asked.

“No, I think I’ll sit right here for the next…” he checked his phone. “22 hours and 57 minutes.”

—

Grian returned to his cave to find Quackity lounging on a dark oak stair in front of the portal.

“Hiya!” Quackity said.

"Oh no,” Grian said nervously. “What do you want?”

“I thought I’d skip ahead a bit and try to cut a deal,” he said. “You see, I know I can’t win against you. You’ve got way too many stans.”

“Look, if this is about the bracket, I don’t really care-”

“Look, Grian. I have an offer.” Quackity stood up and walked towards the hermit. “Let’s pool our votes and form a ticket together. We can be co-sexymen!”

“No no no no no,” Grian said. “I’ve heard this story before.”

“But I have to beat Wilbur!” Quackity said. “Come on, man. What the fu-”

“Nope!” Grian interjected, shoving Quackity back through the Rift.

Behind him, Grumbot lit up. He whirred briefly, and then spat out a message.

WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?

“This is a family-friendly server, Grumbot,” Grian said.

I’m currently trying to live through a severe 3rd Life addiction and NOW SEASON FOUR IS LIKE RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER????? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?????

the implications of martyn wearing the dogwarts banner in limited life for his character:

he has made the banner in the LimLi world. He made it so that he could wear it for his final hours. because he still holds onto the memory of ren and the red army.

somehow he has managed to hold on to a dogwarts banner for four seasons despite resets. because he still holds onto the memory of ren and the red army.

thank you cherri for the dogwarts banner we are eternally indebted

I DONT NEED TO SAY ANYTHING

happy valentines day

So now lorewise, are we just saying that Cleo was so mad about her ex-husband murdering their kids last week that she allowed herself to be possessed by the spirit of a warrior goddess with the sole purpose of getting her revenge? Cause that feels pretty good and does help account for all the murder.

i think if Joel heard what Jimmy said about bad boys not loving each other he'd straight up cry. you know that man loves his bad boys with his whole heart and he'd do anything for them