You Stopped Saying Goodnight And I Stopped Sleeping.

Do I ever cross your mind?

A letter I’ll never send…

I love you. You are my best friend and I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. And each day I continue to fall more in love with you, the more I realize how you’re slowly pulling away. But it’s because you don’t love me the way I love you. Because I am not her. You don’t love me the way you loved her. You gave her the random “I love you” texts and the endless phone calls because you missed her voice. You posted her on Instagram and surprised her with flowers when you knew she was having a bad day. You weren’t hesitant to show your love and hold her when she needed it. I want that. You tell me you just never want to fall that hard for someone again because it was unhealthy, but I know it’s because I’m not her. I want the endless phone calls and random “I love you” texts. I want to be surprised with flowers and be held when I’m having a bad day. I want more than anything to be her. Because you are my him. You are the one I will never forget, you are the one that everyone else will be compared to. In my eyes, you are my everything. But in your eyes, I’m just temporary.

“It’s a fitting punishment for a monster. To want something so much—to hold it in your arms—and know beyond a doubt you will never deserve it.”

— Renee Ahdieh, The Wrath and the Dawn

Staying quiet doesn’t mean I’ve nothing to say. It means I don’t think you’re ready to hear my thoughts.

Unknown

“You know someone is important to your soul when you’re willing to break a thousand times over just to have them in your life,”

19:00 - The pain is sometimes addictive (moondustanddreams)

“You’re not invited back into my life. You can’t just keep coming and going. If you’re going to leave, then don’t come back. I’m done holding on to promises that you aren’t going to keep. But just remember, you decided to leave.”

—

it’s over, isn’t it?

i always knew how it would end

from the beginning i feared this moment

yet, i didn’t think it’d come so soon. 

now my eyes are black, full of hate

but that hate is for me, not you.

i still love you

i may always love you

there is no world

where what i put you through

is ok

i would never lie to you 

ever but the truth is painful sometimes

even when the last thing we want

is to hurt the people we love the most.

m-11-27-20

“I showed you who I was. My hopes, my dreams, my fears. You handed it all back and said it was all too much. You turned and walked away. And people wonder why I have trust issues, and why I have a hard time believing someone when they say that they are there for me. I guess I have you to thank for that.”

—

fun facts about me:

i’m an idiot

i have a terrible memory

i’ll forget 1 and continue to do stupid things