Orange (Takano Ichigo)

kiminitodokestuff

9 years ago

Recognizing emotionally mature people

Taken from Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, Psy.D. A summary of the tips the book hands you on how to recognize emotionally healthy people.

They’re realistic and reliable

They work with reality rather than fighting it. They see problems and try to fix them, instead of overreacting with a fixation on how things should be.

They can feel and think at the same time. The ability to think even when upset makes an emotionally mature person someone you can reason with. They don’t lose their ability to see another perspective just because they aren’t getting what they want.

Their consistency makes them reliable. Because they have an integrated sense of self, they usually won’t surprise you with unexpected inconsistencies.

They don’t take everything personally. They can laugh at themselves and their foibles. They’re realistic enough to not feel unloved just because you made a mistake.

They’re respectful and reciprocal

They respect your boundaries. They’re looking for connection and closeness, not intrusion, control or enmeshment. They respect your individuality and that others have the final say on what their motivations are. They may tell you how they feel about what you did, but they don’t pretend to know you better than you know yourself.

They give back. They don’t like taking advantage of people, nor do they like the feeling of being used.

They are flexible and compromise well. Because collaborative, mature people don’t have an agenda to win at all costs, you won’t feel like you’re being taken advantage of. Compromise doesn’t mean mutual sacrifice; it means a mutual balancing of desires. They care about how you feel and don’t want to leave you feeling unsatisfied.

They’re even-tempered. They don’t sulk or pout for long periods of time or make you walk on eggshells. When angered, they will usually tell you what’s wrong and ask you to do things differently. They’re willing to take the initiative to bring conflict to a close.

They are willing to be influenced. They don’t feel threatened when other people see things differently, nor are they afraid of seeming weak if they don’t know something. They may not agree, but they’ll try to understand your point of view.

They’re truthful. They understand why you’re upset if they lie or give you a false impression.

They apologize and make amends. They want to be responsible for their own behavior and are willing to apologize when needed.

They’re responsive

Their empathy makes you feel safe. Along with self-awareness, empathy is the soul of emotional intelligence.

They make you feel seen and understood. Their behavior reflects their desire to really get to know you, rather than looking for you to mirror them. They aren’t afraid of your emotions and don’t tell you that you should be feeling some other way.

They like to comfort and be comforted. They are sympathetic and know how crucial friendly support can be.

They reflect on their actions and try to change. They clearly understand how people affect each other emotionally. They take you seriously if you tell them about a behavior of theirs that makes you uncomfortable. They’ll remain aware of the issue and demonstrate follow-through in their attempts to change.

They can laugh and be playful. Laughter is a form of egalitarian play between people and reflects an ability to relinquish control and follow someone else’s lead.

They’re enjoyable to be around. They aren’t always happy, but for the most part they seem able to generate their own good feelings and enjoy life.

– © Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, Lindsay C. Gibson, Psy.D.

77K notes View Post

kiminitodokestuff

7 years ago

Your Character’s Personality

Personality is the most important thing about your character.

So, whenever I see character sheets, most people just put a little paragraph for that section. If you’re struggling and don’t know what your character should say or do, what decisions they should make, I guarantee you that this is the problem.

You know your character’s name, age, race, sexuality, height, weight, eye color, hair color, their parents’ and siblings’ names. But these are not the things that truly matter about them.

Traits:

pick traits that don’t necessarily go together. For example, someone who is controlling, aggressive and vain can also be generous, sensitive and soft-spoken. Characters need to have at least one flaw that really impacts how they interact with others. Positive traits can work as flaws, too. It is advised that you pick at least ten traits

people are complex, full of contradictions, and please forgive me if this makes anyone uncomfortable, but even bullies can be “nice” people. Anyone can be a “bad” person, even someone who is polite, kind, helpful or timid can also be narcissistic, annoying, inconsiderate and a liar. People are not just “evil” or “good”

Beliefs:

ideas or thoughts that your character has or thinks about the world, society, others or themselves, even without proof or evidence, or which may or may not be true. Beliefs can contradict their values, motives, self-image, etc. For example, the belief that they are an awesome and responsible person when their traits are lazy, irresponsible and shallow. Their self-image and any beliefs they have about themselves may or may not be similar/the same. They might have a poor self-image, but still believe they’re better than everybody else

Values:

what your character thinks is important. Usually influenced by beliefs, their self-image, their history, etc. Some values may contradict their beliefs, wants, traits, or even other values. For example, your character may value being respect, but one of their traits is disrespectful. It is advised you list at least two values, and know which one they value more. For example, your character values justice and family. Their sister tells them she just stole $200 from her teacher’s wallet. Do they tell on her, or do they let her keep the money: justice, or family? Either way, your character probably has some negative feelings, guilt, anger, etc., over betraying their other value

Motives:

what your character wants. It can be abstract or something tangible. For example, wanting to be adored or wanting that job to pay for their father’s medication. Motives can contradict their beliefs, traits, values, behavior, or even other motives. For example, your character may want to be a good person, but their traits are selfish, manipulative, and narcissistic. Motives can be long term or short term. Everyone has wants, whether they realize it or not. You can write “they don’t know what they want,” but you should know. It is advised that you list at least one abstract want

Recurring Feelings:

feelings that they have throughout most of their life. If you put them down as a trait, it is likely they are also recurring feelings. For example, depressed, lonely, happy, etc.

Self Image:

what the character thinks of themselves: their self-esteem. Some character are proud of themselves, others are ashamed of themselves, etc. They may think they are not good enough, or think they are the smartest person in the world. Their self-image can contradict their beliefs, traits, values, behavior, motives, etc. For example, if their self-image is poor, they can still be a cheerful or optimistic person. If they have a positive self-image, they can still be a depressed or negative person. How they picture themselves may or may not be true: maybe they think they’re a horrible person, when they are, in fact, very considerate, helpful, kind, generous, patient, etc. They still have flaws, but flaws don’t necessarily make you a terrible person

Behavior:

how the character’s traits, values, beliefs, self-image, etc., are outwardly displayed: how they act. For example, two characters may have the trait “angry” but they all probably express it differently. One character may be quiet and want to be left alone when they are angry, the other could become verbally aggressive. If your character is a liar, do they pause before lying, or do they suddenly speak very carefully when they normally don’t? Someone who is inconsiderate may have issues with boundaries or eat the last piece of pizza in the fridge when they knew it wasn’t theirs. Behavior is extremely important and it is advised you think long and hard about your character’s actions and what exactly it shows about them

Demeanor:

their general mood and disposition. Maybe they’re usually quiet, cheerful, moody, or irritable, etc.

Posture:

a secondary part of your character’s personality: not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Posture is how the character carries themselves. For example, perhaps they swing their arms and keep their shoulders back while they walk, which seems to be the posture of a confident person, so when they sit, their legs are probably open. Another character may slump and have their arms folded when they’re sitting, and when they’re walking, perhaps they drag their feet and look at the ground

Speech Pattern:

a secondary part of your character’s personality: not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Speech patterns can be words that your character uses frequently, if they speak clearly, what sort of grammar they use, if they have a wide vocabulary, a small vocabulary, if it’s sophisticated, crude, stammering, repeating themselves, etc. I personally don’t have a very wide vocabulary, if you could tell

Hobbies:

a secondary part of your character’s personality: not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Hobbies can include things like drawing, writing, playing an instrument, collecting rocks, collecting tea cups, etc.

Quirks:

a secondary part of your character’s personality, not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Quirks are behaviors that are unique to your character. For example, I personally always put my socks on inside out and check the ceiling for spiders a few times a day

Likes:

a secondary part of your character’s personality, not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Likes and dislikes are usually connected to the rest of their personality, but not necessarily. For example, if your character likes to do other people’s homework, maybe it’s because they want to be appreciated

Dislikes:

a secondary part of your character’s personality, not as important as everything else. It is advised you fill this out after. Likes and dislikes can also contradict the rest of their personality. For example, maybe one of your character’s traits is dishonest, but they dislike liars

History:

your character’s past that has key events that influence and shape their beliefs, values, behavior, wants, self-image, etc. Events written down should imply or explain why they are the way they are. For example, if your character is distrustful, maybe they were lied to a lot by their parents when they were a child. Maybe they were in a relationship for twenty years and found out their partner was cheating on them the whole time. If their motive/want is to have positive attention, maybe their parents just didn’t praise them enough and focused too much on the negative

On Mental and Physical Disabilities or Illnesses

if your character experienced a trauma, it needs to have an affect on your character. Maybe they became more angry or impatient or critical of others. Maybe their beliefs on people changed to become “even bullies can be ‘nice’ people: anyone can be a ‘bad’ person”

people are not their illness or disability: it should not be their defining trait. I have health anxiety, but I’m still idealistic, lazy, considerate, impatient and occasionally spiteful; I still want to become an author; I still believe that people are generally good; I still value doing what make me feel comfortable; I still have a positive self-image; I’m still a person. You should fill out your character’s personality at least half-way before you even touch on the possibility of your character having a disability or illness

Generally everything about your character should connect, but hey, even twins that grew up in the same exact household have different personalities; they value different things, have different beliefs. Maybe one of them watched a movie that had a huge impact on them.

Not everything needs to be explained. Someone can be picky or fussy ever since they were little for no reason at all. Someone can be a negative person even if they grew up in a happy home.

I believe this is a thought out layout for making well-rounded OCs, antagonists and protagonists, whether they’re being created for a roleplay or for a book. This layout is also helpful for studying Canon Characters if you’re looking to accurately roleplay as them or write them in fanfiction or whatever.

I’m really excited to post this, so hopefully I didn’t miss anything important…

If you have any questions, feel free to send a message.

- Chick

101K notes View Post

kiminitodokestuff

7 years ago

713 notes View Post

kiminitodokestuff

7 years ago

Synonyms For Very

This masterlist is a masterlist of words that you may use alongside the word very, very being one of the most common words that are used when writing. I hope this helps you as much as it helps me in our writing seem more sophisticated and unique.

A:

Very accurate - exact Very afraid - fearful Very angry - furious Very annoying - exasperating

B:

Very bad - atrocious Very beautiful - exquisite Very big - immense Very boring - dull Very bright - luminous Very busy - swamped

C:

Very calm - serene Very careful - cautious Very cheap - stingy Very clean - spotless Very clear - obvious Very clever - intelligent Very cold - freezing Very colourful - vibrant Very competitive - cutthroat Very complete - comprehensive Very confused - perplexed Very conventional - conservative Very creative - innovative Very crowded - bustling Very cute - adorable

D:

Very dangerous - perilous Very dear - cherished Very deep - profound Very depressed - despondent Very detailed - meticulous Very different - disparate Very difficult - arduous Very dirty - filthy Very dry - arid Very dull - tedious

E:

Very eager - keen Very easy - effortless Very empty - desolate Very excited - thrilled Very exciting - exhilarating Very expensive - costly

F:

Very fancy - lavish Very fast - swift Very fat - obese Very friendly - amiable Very frightened - alarmed Very frightening - terrifying Very funny - hilarious

G:

Very glad - overjoyed Very good - excellent Very great - terrific

H:

Very happy - ecstatic Very hard - difficult Very hard-to-find - rare Very heavy - leaden Very high - soaring Very hot - sweltering Very huge - colossal Very hungry - ravenous Very hurt - battered

I:

Very important - crucial Very intelligent - brilliant Very interesting - captivating

J:

K:

L:

Very large - huge Very lazy - indolent Very little - tiny Very lively - vivacious Very long - extensive Very long-term - enduring Very loose - slack Very loud - thunderous Very loved - adored

M:

Very mean - cruel Very messy - slovenly

N:

Very neat - immaculate Very necessary - essential Very nervous - apprehensive Very nice - kind Very noisy - deafening

O:

Very often - frequently Very old - ancient Very old-fashioned - archaic Very open - transparent

P:

Very painful - excruciating Very pale - ashen Very perfect - flawless Very poor - destitute Very powerful - compelling Very pretty - beautiful

Q:

Very quick - rapid Very quiet - hushed

R:

Very rainy - pouring Very rich - wealthy

S:

Very sad - sorrowful Very scared - petrified Very scary - chilling Very serious - grave Very sharp - keen Very shiny - gleaming Very short - brief Very shy - timid Very simple - basic Very skinny - skeletal Very slow - sluggish Very small - petite Very smart - intelligent Very smelly - pungent Very smooth - sleek Very soft - downy Very sorry - apologetic Very special - exceptional Very strong - forceful Very stupid - idiotic Very sure - certain Very sweet - thoughtful

T:

Very talented - gifted Very tall - towering Very tasty - delicious Very thirsty - parched Very tight - constricting Very tiny - minuscule Very tired - exhausted

U:

Very ugly - hideous Very unhappy - miserable Very upset - distraught

V:

W:

Very warm - hot Very weak - frail Very well-to-do - wealthy Very wet - soaked Very wide - expansive Very willing - eager Very windy - blustery Very wise - sage Very worried - distressed

X:

Y:

Z:

A/N: If you know of anymore words I can add please message me.

157K notes View Post

kiminitodokestuff

7 years ago

A no-bullshit “how to improve at drawing” post.

I did a class on this recently through Laneway Learning and I promised I’d post the hand-out I gave at the end of it, so here it is. Thank you to Karithina for being my editor! This is for new artists and experienced artists alike, because drawing a lot does not mean you’re necessarily good at it. You are never above going back to the basics, ever. Complacency is your enemy.

I want to point out, first and foremost, that the “artists are born artists” or “only right brained people can be artists” beliefs are absolute bullshit. The brain is intricately linked to both sides, and the idea that all people are more dominant on one side than the other has been scientifically proven to be incorrect.

This is good news for you! Because it means literally anyone can be a master artist, all it takes is a lot of practice and research, like literally every other skill in life. I hope you find this helpful!

—-

The methodological order of learning the basics:

Forms and shapes

They make up literally everything. You can be good at anatomy and perspective but still draw things very flat looking because you lack understanding of how forms and shapes work.

Perspective

Drawing forms and shapes in different perspectives helps you understand perspective in a more simple way. Start with them, then move onto more complicated shapes.

Composition

Draw the forms and shapes in different arrangements, orders, etc. Research different compositional arrangements and their effects.

Colour theory

Learn it and learn it well; then apply on all the above basics. Colour theory also includes lighting.

Anatomy

Anatomy of all forms are comprised of a series of forms and shapes, so it’s imperative you understand them first before moving on to anatomy.

Anatomy doesn’t need to be done last; it can be done between forms and shapes and perspective, but it can be daunting for new artists so I usually leave it until last since it is a rather complex subject.

Life drawing

Life drawing is imperative to the improvement of every artist. It is best to start by using lines and no shading for objects that are simple shapes such as mugs, jars, candles, etc. Once you’re comfortable with this, start drawing the same objects but shade them. Despite being simple shapes, these objects contain complex reflections and they will help you understand how light and reflections work with different surfaces.

Play with composition. Draw the same objects in a different arrangement, or in different perspectives - otherwise you’ll rely too heavily on muscle memory, which will restrict the diversity of your technique. You need to understand how objects work in 3D space, not just how it looks from specific angles. Once you’re comfortable with this, add colour. Rinse and repeat with this method for more complex scenes and objects.

Remember: when drawing from life, try to visualize the negative space around the objects and draw the “lines” using that; drawing from silhouettes, once you learn how to do it, is a very effective way to ensure proportions and shapes stay correct.

Reference, reference, reference

Draw from your imagination but always use references. It is not cheating. Every professional artist uses references. You cannot rely on remembering exactly how things look; your mind erroneously fills in the blanks for you.

Make sure you research the copyright restrictions on the images you use for reference if submitted anywhere. Give credit where credit is required, and when in doubt always ask the artist first. Master studies should always have credit given, even if the artist died hundreds of years ago. For quick reference checks like seeing what way a belt buckle goes, google image does the trick and no need to give credit there for something so small.

Influences and originality

Be influenced by a large number of things and artists. Being original isn’t the most important thing, as long as you’re happy with what you create. But to ensure you’re not merely copying what other people do, mix it up. Experiment. Try a large variety of styles. You’ll find that all of them will eventually find a place in yours. Style is one of the things that comes naturally. If you wish to do commercial art - for games, movies, etc. - it’s important to be able to be stylistically diverse, too.

One of my favourite stylistic exercises is drawing something a few times from life, then condensing what makes up that object’s primary feature’s and exaggerating them, like a caricature. E.g:

Your style is very unique to you, and I would suggest that if you are unhappy with it, perhaps instead look where your art is lacking on a technical level. That is usually where the problem lies.

Tutorials

Be wary of the “how to draw [insert object here]” tutorials, only use them for inspiration once you understand how lighting and perspective works. They only teach you how to draw like somebody else. Instead, I suggest you find photos of said object, or the object itself, and draw it from different angles, and in different lighting. It takes a thousand attempts at drawing something to master it, and that’s the same with any skill in life.

Warm up before diving in

Before diving into drawing, do warm-up exercises: draw 30 circles on a page really quickly, sketch some quick figures (such as http://www.posemaniacs.com/thirtysecond), or draw some squiggles, shapes, flashes from your imagination, so on so forth. You use muscles when you draw and they need warming up like any other muscle in your body, otherwise lines will come out more stiff than what they could be. Also, always remember to take breaks!

Lastly, remember: everyone learns differently. I learn very well from following things in exactly one order, but that doesn’t work for everyone, and that’s okay. Don’t feel guilty about switching the order up a bit. Experiment and find what works for you, whether that is video, live models, books, livestreams or physical mentors.

Personal improvements after following this advice

I’ve been drawing my whole life; I’m 26. But I stubbornly insisted I was good just because I drew a lot. in 2014, I decided to actually learn the basics- some 22 years into my drawing experience- because I was unhappy with where my art was at. Here are the results.

10 months apart

1 year apart

(higher res image here)

Best thing? The new versions took less time by at least 2x, because I knew what I was doing. Not only that, but I planned my artworks- did texture studies and compositional thumbnails. This is very important to do for large artworks. It will save you HOURS.

Personal preference is not technically technical improvement. Learn to differentiate between the two. I deliberately chose to differ some aspects from their originals because the originals did not get across the feeling that I, personally, was aiming for.

Some resources

http://krita.org A free digital painting tool for Linux and Windows. It’s my go-to for all my digital art.

http://mypaint.intilinux.com/ A free digital sketching tool for Linux and Windows. I use it for all my line-art. It has no transform tools and some beautiful pencil brushes, imitating real media.

https://www.youtube.com/user/Sycra For really in-depth tutorials on all the art basics.

https://www.youtube.com/user/FZDSCHOOL/playlists Incredibly useful videos by Feng Zhu, a hugely successful concept artist who’s been working in the field for decades, and who also runs his own concept art school.

Resources for finding free images you can use for references: http://search.creativecommons.org/ http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/ http://www.1millionfreepictures.com/ http://pickupimage.com/ http://animalphotos.info Book: Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards. Despite the title being scientifically inaccurate, the exercises are helpful.

http://conceptcookie.deviantart.com/gallery/ Some useful exercises, step-by-step breakdowns, and resources lie here.

Good luck!

3K notes View Post

Orange (Takano Ichigo)

More Posts from Kiminitodokestuff and Others

Recognizing emotionally mature people

They’re realistic and reliable

They’re respectful and reciprocal

They’re responsive

Your Character’s Personality

Personality is the most important thing about your character.

Synonyms For Very

A:

B:

C:

D:

E:

F:

G:

H:

I:

J:

K:

L:

M:

N:

O:

P:

Q:

R:

S:

T:

U:

V:

W:

X:

Y:

Z:

A no-bullshit “how to improve at drawing” post.