✦
kian is good at what he does, good at pretending to be someone he’s not but, every now and then, the cracks start to show. especially when he’s had a bit to drink, his face flushed, and vision blurry. that’s when he truly has to be careful because, if not, pieces of the real kian show through. pieces he wants no one to see. it’s in times like these that he wishes he lived alone, but he doesn’t. he has a roommate; one that, admittedly, may be his favorite plaything. which is somewhat disastrous because while, in normal circumstances, he bathes in the admiration and the attention that seojun gives him, in others, he finds himself ready to snap. sometimes he needs to be alone, to get his head together, and this is one of those times. he can’t be pretend kian right now, he just can’t. he doesn’t have it in him. but he also doesn’t want seojun to see. “can you just—” he grits his teeth, fitting his hands between their bodies to shove the other boy away, “back off?!”
his eyes narrow, brows knitting together. “i’m fine.” he states, emphasizing the period of his sentence for finality. he doesn’t want to argue, he just wants to go to bed. “you don’t need to babysit me, you’re not my mother.” he throws out, the words bitter on his tongue and slightly slurred. he stumbles over his own feet, but catches himself on the armrest of their worn down couch. “i can get drunk if i want to, when i want to.” he adds, but he’s really just arguing with the air at this point. seojun is too nice for this type of confrontation. especially when it comes to kian. he shrugs off his jacket and kicks off his shoes, tripping over the laces. he curses under his breath, but doesn’t let it stop him on the way to his room. “goodnight!” he calls over his shoulder, raising his hand to wave him off.
MOONSU: 😊😊😊😊😊 MOONSU: you ARE creative. but even then, you don’t have to do anything to impress me. as long as you’re happy, i’m happy. MOONSU: but how would you consider stepping your game up? hypothetically? 👀 not that i want or need you to! MOONSU: as if anyone could ever woo me from you, ki. it’d take more than a lot to even catch my eye. steal me away? actually impossible. unless they kidnapped me. MOONSU: ok, good!! you? the cutest. MOONSU: i’m never too busy for you. do u wanna do something? i might even have a fun idea that includes a camera. :O
KIAN: i swear sometimes its like you stepped right out of a romcom KIAN: i like it tho so its ok 😘 KIAN: i can’t tell you that....... it’d ruin the surprise KIAN: aw c’mon i’m not that great i’m sure theres better boyfriends around campus i’m just lucky you chose me KIAN: oh ya? like a sex tape?? didn’t know you were into that kinda stuff 😉
“i do trust you,” he says, and it’s never about not trusting kian. there are few people that he trusts as much as jun does him. as he speaks, his words make sense, and seojun’s nodding slowly. “that’s true,” he agrees, about it being difficult to see himself as others see him, and how that’s true for everyone. he wishes he could see what kian does though. maybe he’d be able to like himself a little bit more if he did. “i guess i believe you,” he teases, and when kian says he’s not sure if anyone’s worth having him, he laughs as though it were a joke. “don’t be ridiculous,” he says with a soft scoff, gently pushing at his shoulder. “just honest, hmm?” he hums with a grin, choosing not to argue further once kian’s leaning over to press his lips to jun’s cheek. “well, it’s easy to take risks with you,” he admits, because he trusts him so much. it feels like nothing could ever go wrong when he’s with kian. “i guess it’s good i’ve never claimed that i’m not a cliche,” he adds in his own defense, “even if it’s a nineties, or early two thousands, cliche,” he says with a soft laugh. when kian asks him if he wants to, the answer seems obvious to jun, even if he hadn’t thought about it much prior to him asking. “um… not really,” he answers, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “i just don’t know how to do that?” he confesses sheepishly. “what about you? do you wanna take more risks?” he questions in return, head tilting slightly as his eyes remain on kian. “maybe… we could learn how to together.”
a shiver runs down his spine at the words. i do trust you, he says, and kian preens. once someone trusts you, it’s so easy to get everything you want. and seojun has always made it abundantly clear that he does, indeed, trust his roommate wholeheartedly. no matter that kian is probably the last person on earth that should have that kind of power. “no guessing.” he shakes his head. “just have the confidence to believe me.” he says, voice barely above a whisper. it feels more intimate that way. “i do.” he confirms, eyes bouncing between seojun’s. “yeah, maybe we could. maybe we should.” he agrees, the wheels turning in his head. leaning forward, he presses a kiss to the corner of his roommate’s mouth then to his lips. it’s chaste, merely a light brush, but he knows this is the game he has to play in order to keep seojun right where he wants him. though, he can’t deny the tenderness of it and somewhat relishes in the feel of the boy’s soft, plump lips against his own. it’s familiar in a way that kian isn’t necessarily used to; it’s familiar in a way that he can’t pinpoint. “i’ve thought about it.” he says, lips brushing against the other’s as he speaks. he keeps his words vague, slipping easily into the more manipulative side of his game. “about us. together.” he clarifies, his right hand slowly trailing over seojun’s chest to wrap around the back of his neck. “but you’re too good for even me. shouldn’t that tell you everything you need to know? you’re perfect and—” he pauses, licking his lips, “it’s so goddamn annoying.” he smiles.
SEOJUN: if anyone believes in you, it’s me SEOJUN: but if you need to take a break… that’s okay too!! take care of yourself 💕 SEOJUN: dangerous territory is my middle name SEOJUN: mr. seojun dangerous territory anything SEOJUN: i don’t know!! you could choose anyone you want to SEOJUN: i guess i can make an exception for you 😇 SEOJUN: but if anyone asks, i’m sick SEOJUN: i don’t want to get a rebellious reputation
KIAN: i always wanna take a break tho like when does it become a problem? KIAN: weird middle name....... ur parents good? KIAN: bad joke ik i blame it on my brain bein fried KIAN: what makes u think i can just choose anyone i want to? KIAN: i’d still choose u anyway ya know ur my favorite KIAN: wait so....... u want me to lie for u?? KIAN: u may not want a rebellious reputation but i don’t wanna be known as a liar either 😕
ANNYA: b/c i need to know you're at least in a safe place if you're drinking like this
ANNYA: no i don't, hate is a toxic feeling i refuse to have
ANNYA: kian, there's no point in talking about this in the state you're in, now where are you?
KIAN: idt doesnt mdatter nothing mteatrs
KIAN: i know kcause uyr ptreecf & i suck & i cvnat believe i ever hsad you then lolst you di'm so stupid
KIAN: if ei tlle you are yyou gonna come here??
KIAN: ti'm sorry i messed up so bad annya ui'm sporry you met me i'mm sorry i cvouldn't bqe waho you wanted ume kto be vi wish di could say enough sorrys fto make everything bettter
ANNYA: don't say that, you will ALWAYS matter
ANNYA: i'm not perfect, and you're not stupid. ppl make mistakes, and i just...
ANNYA: yes, if you're not in your dorm and you tell me where you are, i'll come to you
ANNYA: just pls, kian, tell me you're ok
KIAN: how could byou yeven say that???
KIAN: does othat mean you fzorgive me.......
KIAN: i'm fine jusot srachin at one ovf the frat houses for the night cause i hdont think zi can wahlk home
KIAN: bnut 'di rather jbe izn my own drosm wnould ybou come gket me??