☆ — ❛ Snap : Kian ▶ Moonsu. ❜

moonsus‌:

for moonsu, it wasn’t unusual to gain a strange look or hear someone tell him he needed to tone himself down. which he really didn’t mind - he tried his best to keep his personality as something people felt comfortable with. he was all too willing to bend himself and shape into something that made the other happy. it wasn’t until he heard kian encouraging him that a wave of affection rushed through him. it was like he remembered why he was so deeply invested in him to begin with. kian let moonsu be himself, as embarrassing as it was at times, and it earned him another quick kiss. “then you’re in luck… i might’ve lied. i definitely have, like, double that to give. if those bitches hadn’t cut me off, i’d still be up there talking about you. they didn’t even let me get into how much i love your face. super rude, that’s my favorite part,” he complained with a furrowed brow. “i can tell you now, though?” it wasn’t like moonsu didn’t already find every opportunity to talk about kian to whoever would listen to him. it was shocking that in all that, he still never seemed to be enough to find out about kian’s antics beyond him. as much fun as moonsu was having… the second he heard that kian wanted to leave, he was nodding along, playing for his drinks and turning to casually kiss kian’s forehead, his arm tangling with his and taking a tight hold to his hand. “okay, let’s go,” he murmured, leading him out and sucking in a sharp breath as they stepped into the cold air. “you did mean… you meant my place, right?” he gestured to himself, his head cocked to the side. “i think if we do that, i might even let you drink a little…” he leaned closer to whisper, “but don’t tell, okay? i’m a responsible adult, taking care of my baby.”  

kian raises his other hand, hiding his smile behind a fist, as he giggles like a little schoolgirl. sometimes he really gets on his own nerves with shit like this, but he knows he has to do it because moonsu is super receptive to it. he just has to remind himself that it’s a small price to pay in the long run. “my face is your favorite part?” he quirks a brow, not so subtly shifting in his seat to spread his legs a little wider. call it manspreading or call it getting a point across. “you sure about that? kinda shallow.” he smiles. the happiness actually reaches his eyes when moonsu swiftly pays for their drinks and places a kiss to his forehead. he closes his eyes briefly, relishing in the feel, as he allows himself to be dragged out into the cool, night air. “of course, what else would i mean?” he knocks his shoulder against the other’s playfully. as the wind whips around them, he tugs his jacket closer around his body, and squeezes moonsu’s hand. “are you trying to get me drunk?” he questions, lightheartedly. “my lips are sealed, babe. don’t worry.” he grins, his cheeks hurting from how much he does the action. “i wouldn’t mind having a drink, to be honest. it’s been... a week. might be nice to wind down a little, you know?” he says. “i mean, there are other ways we can wind down too, but we’ve got all night.” he winks. 

MOONSU: 😊😊😊😊😊 MOONSU: you ARE creative. but even then, you don’t have to do anything to impress me. as long as you’re happy, i’m happy. MOONSU: but how would you consider stepping your game up? hypothetically? 👀 not that i want or need you to! MOONSU: as if anyone could ever woo me from you, ki. it’d take more than a lot to even catch my eye. steal me away? actually impossible. unless they kidnapped me. MOONSU: ok, good!! you? the cutest. MOONSU: i’m never too busy for you. do u wanna do something? i might even have a fun idea that includes a camera. :O

KIAN: i swear sometimes its like you stepped right out of a romcom KIAN: i like it tho so its ok 😘 KIAN: i can’t tell you that....... it’d ruin the surprise KIAN: aw c’mon i’m not that great i’m sure theres better boyfriends around campus i’m just lucky you chose me KIAN: oh ya? like a sex tape?? didn’t know you were into that kinda stuff 😉

☆ — ❛ snap : kian ▶ moonsu. ❜

i need a fightbuddy, which is like a fuckbuddy but instead of banging you fight. no strings attached just text me lemme know when it’s going down 

SEOJUN: i’ll stop being responsible as soon as you finish studying 😛 SEOJUN: i really really really think so SEOJUN: pls, i know you’d never lie to me… and i’m your roomie so of course i’d know if you were 😄 SEOJUN: try me!! anything means anything SEOJUN: would you really wanna do that???? with me???? SEOJUN: skipping class isn’t something i like to do, but… that sounds like a lot of fun :(

KIAN: look at my face..... thats the face of a man whos on his last leg i cant study any longer junnie i just cant KIAN: ok mr. anything means anything but dont say i didn’t warn you about it bein dangerous territory KIAN: ya ofc..... why wouldn’t i? KIAN: then make an exception KIAN: just for me 😋

☆ — ❛ snap : kian ▶ seojun. ❜

anvya‌:

“hey now, don’t make fun of my board games,” she giggles before poking his nose. grabbing a few pieces of popcorn, she tosses one in her mouth before feeding one to kian as well. “my dad always talked about the game nights he had with his parents and siblings and how he really enjoyed them, so he kind of passed that tradition down to me and my sibling. i’m sure most teenagers would rather do anything than play boardgames with their parents, but…i dunno, call me crazy, but i actually really enjoyed it.” of course, her feelings for why she enjoyed it ran much deeper than kian would understand. all she ever wanted was for her birth parents to acknowledge her, to simply say hi or i love you, and never got that. with her adoptive parents, they gave her that and more. they made time for her and her sibling, always making sure they reminded the both of them how important they were. because of that, game nights were her favorite time of the week. 

annya hadn’t realized she got lost in her thoughts until she feels kian kiss her, this time a littler deeper before pulling away, causing the girl to pout for a moment before shaking her head, “mm, as fun as that sounds, i kind of like where we are right now. just…being close and talking…” she blushes, simply because they were pretty close physically, and it was the most physical she truly had gotten with anyone. sure, annya had her first kiss in high school, and even let wandering hands fool around but nothing ever went further than that. despite her relationship with kian still being somewhat new, she actually felt more comfortable around him than she did with anyone else before. it was scary, yet almost comforting at the same time. “that sounds wonderful,” she smiles as he talks about california. “sunshine and warm weather all the time? my flowers and plants could have such a better place to grow. does that mean you’ve never built a snowman before? because if you haven’t, we might have to change that asap.” 

it’s around this time in his other relationships that kian would tune out, only nodding here and there in all the right spots to make them think he was listening. but when it comes to annya, he actually is listening. he wants to know everything about her, every little detail, and experience things that no one else has. he’s treading dangerous waters, but he just doesn’t know how to stop; he doesn’t know if he even wants to. “yeah?” he raises a brow, chewing on the piece of popcorn she had fed him. “which was your favorite?” he asks. he has honestly never once in his life played a board game and can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to sit down with his father and do something so simple. they couldn’t even be in the same house together without wanting to rip each other’s heads off. it tugs on something buried deep within him and reminds him that nothing about his upbringing was normal. and nothing about his life ever will be.

he doesn’t feel sorry for himself though because he’s worked through all that and he’s accepted it. but that doesn’t stop the what ifs from swirling around in his head. “really? i’m kinda boring.” he smiles, watching as the blush blooms across her cheeks. he finds it incredibly endearing, but it makes him wonder. he and annya have never really discussed their past sexual experiences and they also haven’t gone very far together. his endeavors paint a long list, but he’s good at reading people and he has a feeling that hers is much, much shorter. that’s why he has to be careful. he doesn’t want to push her away. he brings his right hand up and tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, chewing on the inside of his cheek. he’s used to playing the part of the perfect boyfriend, but he’s never had to worry about what messing it up might mean. “nope.” he confirms, popping the ‘p’. “i mean, i’ve built a sand snowman but never an actual one.” he explains. “to be honest, i’m not a huge fan of the cold. call me a pussy but i’d much—” he pauses to plant a kiss to the corner of her mouth, “rather—” he places another to the opposite side, “stay—” and finally captures her lips with his own, “right here.”

I used to think I was tough, but then I realized I wasn’t. I was fragile and I wore thick fucking armor. And I hurt people so they couldn’t hurt me. And I thought that was what being tough was, but it isn’t.

James Frey 

☆ — who : @anvya ☆ — when : november of 2017 ☆ — where : pugh hall dormitory

kian is in uncharted territory; everything is so new and unfamiliar. a part of him wants to run and never look back, but he can’t. annya keeps him grounded to the spot with some unseen magnetic force. but it’s all just so exhausting. it’s like he’s slipped into his facade, like he’s pretending, without doing so at all. the line between reality and the world he’s created is starting to blur and the cracks are starting to show. for once in his life, he’s scared of how it’s all going to end. “i’m gonna grab some more popcorn.” he says, removing his arm from behind her as he stands from the bed. he just needs a minute to breathe, to calm himself down. all they’re doing is watching a movie in her dorm, something completely normal, and he’s damn near having an existential crisis. grabbing the nearly empty bowl on the bedside table, he makes the short trek to the attached kitchenette and places it on the counter. he manages to keep his hands from shaking as he takes a bag of popcorn from the cabinet and tosses it into the microwave.

when the sound fills the room, he allows his eyes to close and lets out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. he and annya have been official for a couple of months now after initially meeting at freshman orientation, but it’s so incredibly different from anyone else that he’s dated that he wonders if he’ll even survive it. the most jarring revelation is that this isn’t a game to him for once. he actually doesn’t want to hurt her. and that’s terrifying, as sick as it sounds. when the microwave goes off, emitting the universal beep that signals the popcorn is ready, he pulls himself together and opens the door. his motions are robotic and even though he burns himself as he pours it into the bowl, he doesn’t even flinch. “this movie kinda sucks, huh?” he smiles as he rounds the corner back into the room. in truth, he hasn’t been watching it. he doesn’t even know what it’s about. “if there wasn’t a snowstorm outside, we could’ve actually did something fun.” he says.

he sets the bowl down in its previous place and leans over to give her a short kiss on the lips. “i guess i can deal though if it means spending time with you.” he states, internally cringing. he’s delivered that same line to a million other people, but it feels wrong doing the same to her. at least he means it this time.

Do you mind if I take my new car for a ride?