SEOJUN: I’ll Stop Being Responsible As Soon As You Finish Studying 😛 SEOJUN: I Really Really Really

☆ — ❛ imessage : kian ▶ annya. ❜

KIAN: i know thqis is so stupid i'um stupid but i just rwanted to xknow ohw you were

KIAN: i sacw uyo today & wanxted to say ih but ima psyus ass bitch

KIAN: i know yiou hate me but ui can't stop thinking about cyou i rwish i could hate you tnoo

seojvns‌:

for @kians. ♡

he’d dozed off a few times now while waiting up for kian and was starting to think, in the brief moments of consciousness, that maybe he wouldn’t be back to their dorm at all tonight. it wasn’t surprising, but it was frustrating. seojun didn’t plan his life around kian or anything - he wasn’t that invested, but he liked knowing that he was here and safe. especially with everything that’d been going on lately. was it really that much to ask of kian for him to send him a brief text on the nights he wouldn’t be back anyway? seojun certainly didn’t think so, but maybe kian would disagree. the worst part was that he didn’t have the right to feel so protective over him and, yet, here he was. as protective as ever. 

as soon as he heard the door open, his head lifted, eyes snapping open as all sleepiness he felt previously quickly evaporated. but he still looked sleepy, with his eyes puffy and his hair messy from falling asleep on the couch. “hi,” he said, his voice soft, his eyes staying on kian. he wanted to ask where he’d been, but knew it wasn’t fair to, so he didn’t. instead he stared, hoping for any bit of attention kian was willing to give him - if he even was. “um, welcome home,” he said, pulling himself up off the couch. “are you… hungry? i could make you something to eat, if you want,” he offered, all too willing to do anything that kian wanted. but that was nothing new. he’d jump through hoops all day, if he were asked.

kian does everything for a reason. the way he dresses, the way he smiles, and the way he does his hair always depends on which toy he’s playing with that day. if he can’t get something out of it then he doesn’t do it, period. it wouldn’t be fair for him to put in so much work if he got nothing in return. lucky for him, he knows nearly everything he needs to about his roommate and he definitely uses it to his advantage. spending so much time together in such close quarters has given him the leverage he needs to pull on seojun’s strings a little harder and push him a little farther. and, god, he’s so fun to play with. he might be kian’s favorite. he barely has to do anything at all and, yet, is given so much. it’s like christmas every day. he takes his time walking up the stairs to their dorm, reading over texts that he doesn’t plan on answering, and he even takes a break to catch the breath that he never lost in the first place. it’s just so exhausting being him.

switching to the camera on his phone, he checks his appearance and notes that his eyes are a little red from his activities earlier that night. still, he rubs at them a little more and even touches his eyeball to get them to water before wiping the tears away. he wants to look like he’s been crying. when he’s satisfied, he carelessly drops his phone to the ground then picks it back up again. it doesn’t crack the first time around so he repeats until it does. when he sticks his key in the door, he counts to five, then enters. he isn’t surprised to see that seojun is there, waiting for him, but he pretends to be. “oh!” he says, making a show of wiping at his eyes. “i didn’t expect you to be up.” yes, he did. “you didn’t have to wait up for me, junnie.” he says, forcing a sad smile onto his face. he turns away to lock the door and pretend like he doesn’t want to look at the other.

“i’m—” he swallows hard before clearing his throat, “i’m fine.” he says. “thanks for the offer though, i appreciate it.” he adds, reaching forward to caress his cheek. “you should go to bed.” he states, pressing the button on his phone as he pretends to check the time. but, really, he just wants to make sure seojun sees the cracked screen. “it’s late.” he mumbles, shoulders slumping. he places his phone down on the tv stand then shrugs off his jacket and kicks off his shoes. he pretends as if he’s just going to head for his room then quickly turns and pulls his roommate into a tight hug. “i don’t deserve you, junnie.” he whispers. “i know you’d never hurt me. you’d never break my heart like he did or break my phone just to add insult to injury.” he sighs. “how did i get so lucky with you?”

MINJI: nothing but nice ?? you must be joking right ?? MINJI: consider yourself lucky i never talked about what you did to seojunnie MINJI: i’ve got morals, and you don’t. keep ur thoughts to yourself

KIAN: completely serious KIAN: you wouldn’t cause u know it would hurt him & u wouldn’t wanna hurt ur closest friend....... would u? KIAN: idk minnie...... kinda seemed like there might be a blurred line when it comes to ur morals babe

MINJI: look who i just brought home MINJI: he looked so lonely at the kitty coffee shop ): MINJI: i named him seojun jr !!

KIAN: seojun jr? like after seojun yoon? KIAN: y’all fuckin or sumn lmao

*drops down on one knee* will u sin with me

☆ — who : @anvya ☆ — when : november of 2017 ☆ — where : pugh hall dormitory

kian is in uncharted territory; everything is so new and unfamiliar. a part of him wants to run and never look back, but he can’t. annya keeps him grounded to the spot with some unseen magnetic force. but it’s all just so exhausting. it’s like he’s slipped into his facade, like he’s pretending, without doing so at all. the line between reality and the world he’s created is starting to blur and the cracks are starting to show. for once in his life, he’s scared of how it’s all going to end. “i’m gonna grab some more popcorn.” he says, removing his arm from behind her as he stands from the bed. he just needs a minute to breathe, to calm himself down. all they’re doing is watching a movie in her dorm, something completely normal, and he’s damn near having an existential crisis. grabbing the nearly empty bowl on the bedside table, he makes the short trek to the attached kitchenette and places it on the counter. he manages to keep his hands from shaking as he takes a bag of popcorn from the cabinet and tosses it into the microwave.

when the sound fills the room, he allows his eyes to close and lets out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. he and annya have been official for a couple of months now after initially meeting at freshman orientation, but it’s so incredibly different from anyone else that he’s dated that he wonders if he’ll even survive it. the most jarring revelation is that this isn’t a game to him for once. he actually doesn’t want to hurt her. and that’s terrifying, as sick as it sounds. when the microwave goes off, emitting the universal beep that signals the popcorn is ready, he pulls himself together and opens the door. his motions are robotic and even though he burns himself as he pours it into the bowl, he doesn’t even flinch. “this movie kinda sucks, huh?” he smiles as he rounds the corner back into the room. in truth, he hasn’t been watching it. he doesn’t even know what it’s about. “if there wasn’t a snowstorm outside, we could’ve actually did something fun.” he says.

he sets the bowl down in its previous place and leans over to give her a short kiss on the lips. “i guess i can deal though if it means spending time with you.” he states, internally cringing. he’s delivered that same line to a million other people, but it feels wrong doing the same to her. at least he means it this time.

if you don’t eat your girl’s pussy i will

What I am telling you, before you begin my story, is this: I crave truth. And I lie.

Tana French

dashicns‌:

for once dashi was actually excited to be surrounded by his fellow students, the frostival was his favorite part about going to west bridge and it brought the perfect distraction from all the whole mess that has been going on recently. he was huddled over by the ice skating rink because was weirdly good at ice skating and absolutely loved to show off and force the nearest familiar face into joining him. “you know you want to!” he sang at the other as he waved a pair of skates in front of them. everything about him was uncharacteristically soft and friendly but he couldn’t help it, the atmosphere of frostival brought back the sweetest memories of his time in korea with his mother, evidently it made him into nicest self. “please come skate with me, its better skating with two than one!” he whined, which he would never admit to himself that he did.

“and why’s that?” he asks curiously, leaning against the railing. he watches a few people skate by and can’t help the laugh that slips past his lips when a few fall. “i’m not about to break out into some ice skating routine with you.” he states, taking the pair from dashi’s hands anyway. he isn’t about to put up much of a fight though because, honestly, what else does he have to do? “and if you’re trying to humiliate me? it’s not gonna work.” he narrows his eyes, playfully. “i play hockey, i know how to skate.” he says, removing his shoes and replacing them with the ice skates. he ties them tightly then looks back up at his friend. “what’s got you in such a good mood anyway?” he ventures to ask, flicking a piece of hair out of his eyes. “did you get high before the carnival without me?” he nearly pouts. “you better not be holding out on me.”