Just To Let Everyone Know, Despite My Best Efforts And The Advice Or A Local Hedgehog Rescue Expect

Hi, this is my son.

Kalaroth, son of Hemdoroth

He’s a second generation jeweler in Erebor (look I write what I know okay?) He moved to the lonely mountain shortly after the reclamation with his parents.

Info:

Dad- Hemdoroth (jeweler)

Ma- Tosi (Metal refiner)

Siblings- Hemi (Older sister- also a jeweler)

Friends - Hob Fairhill (hobbit- news runner/messager of the court + apprentice scribe)

Enjoys: Not being in Erebor 😰, hunting, archery, harassing Hob into wrestling with him, fruit bread.

Dislikes: Working early in the morning. The concept of being stuck inside the mountain his whole life not having one single adventure.

You know winter arrived when you go to put ur rings on in the morning and it’s like a putting ur hands on a bowl of ice

Aeugh my glasses are gonna be cold too. I don’t want to get out of bed but I have an amulet I only have 4 weeks to make aghh

A very sad tale indeed

(He did actually go the petting zoo, we visited him)

Imagine if Dori and Nori were both dwarrowdames the whole time and they were just there to look after their shit ass nerd little brother.

The Witch King's very bad day continues.

By the Valar I will keep making Bagginsheild art until I physically can’t anymore

Frodo, Thorin, fili and kili exist solely to bother Bilbo now that there is no war to wage.

They think three hours of training entitled then to scones (they’re right and Bilbo is making them some! )

If there’s one thing that motivates me to draw it’s my dumb ass art from two/three years ago.

I really thought I ate with that first one.

Bilbo has terrible mental health but that brain is a fucking vault and he covers everything with the bitchy meanness that only a Baggins could muster

who from lotr most needs therapy and who would actually go to therapy 😇

LOTR Therapy Reactions:

Frodo: is a little bit reluctant at first and feels like he’s “taking away resources from people who need them more” a bit, but learns that he needs them just as much, not to compare himself to others, and settles down well.

Elrond: motherfucker tries to mansplain therapy techniques to the therapist in the first session, spends the entirety of the second session crying hysterically, and from that moment on is a total therapy nerd. he literally decorates his CBT notebooks. asks if he can get extra points for turning his worksheets early. literally treats his final session like he’s fucking graduating college and makes everyone attend in formalwear.

Pippin: argues with the therapist, who quickly wises up to his bantering ways and essentially starts doing talk-therapy masqueraded as an improv-comedy session. weirdly enough, it works, and he reports feeling much better.

Thranduil: books 10 sessions, doesn’t even go to the first one, and instead of asking for a refund, just straight up files a chargeback on his AMEX

Maedhros: sends Google hate mail every time it dares to show him an advert to a therapy service, which is a vicious cycle because he keeps Googling “how to prove therapy is a capitalist scam” and “cure panic attack reddit” and “cancel nightmare subscription”

Legolas and Gimli: wandered in by accident thinking it was a Starbucks, has no clue what therapy is, and genuinely just assume they’re gossiping with a strangely professional barista. they have been attending for the last 20 years and as a result have outstanding mental health

Fëanor: someone suggests a therapist to him after the third time he set his microwave on fire after it melted his cheese too much. he looks up said therapist, reports them to the registered psychologist regulatory body for no reason, and pulls political strings to ensure they lose their practice license. he has never met this person.

Bilbo Baggins: therapist drops him in 3 weeks with “yeah you’re fine move on” because he makes her cry every session. not because his mental health mind you but because he keeps being subtly mean about her fashion choices and room decorations.

Celegorm: banned from therapy centre before his first session for barking like a dog when the receptionist asked for his health insurance number.

Hobbits make terrible pets I guess

Serves him right.

The lack of brain cells in that room is staggering

Please like this I worked on it all week