Hey, I Don't Know If You Remember Me (I'm The One With Suicidality), But I Just Wanted To Let You Know

Me to everyone struggling with discrimination like I am - but also worse.

To the trans femmes/trans women of colour who are systematically oppressed. Who get assaulted by "peace" officers and faced with gross uses of "power" (control) from a system that doesn't care, and so they get penalized-or they get murdered every year.

To all the other people who forget, like me, that we as LGBTAQI+ people-especially bisexual people, esspecially ace people, especially us trans people, but then again, especially all of us-legally don't have rights beyond just a very basic "workplace discrimination" catchall (and sometimes not even that). We don't have *basic* housing rights, in most cases. We get sneered at, laughed at when/if we complain.

Our families disown us, and we carry on.

Friends drop us after being profiled by the police, and don't return our calls, and we still make dinner for ourselves, run errands, smile at strangers, and pet a cat.

Increasingly, however, the more stories I read, as we're preading awareness of the things that we as LGBT+ people go through, we seem to be facing more of a backlash. And the more I am faced with unsafe housing environments, (including verbal abuse) and not only given no legal protection, but ignored, gaslit, and publicly shamed and humiliated for speaking out against these issues...the more haunted I feel. The harder it's been to fight against the flashbacks and "think positively" (whatever that means).

Increasingly, I feel like crying every time someone gives me a hug. I seriously feel like I would crumble the next time. I feel like I'm holding back tears every time I see people interacting happily, because I get the impression they don't cry themselves to sleep at night, they don't worry, increasingly, if the next microaggression from an ignorant cishet person will cause us to lose our housing, our employment, our reputation..and we'll be told it's "our fault", for being the way that we are, if not outright, then covertly.

I didn't want to say this, but I'm losing hope, I guess is what I'm saying here. I got yelled at for simply watching She-Ra & The Princesses of Power where I live the other day, after trying my darndest to self-soothe when someone on TV had similar triggers as me. I was yelled at for picking up my blockers (which I need to have, to cause me to, if not *want* to live, then at least not want to die), because I'm on an inconsistent "blackout" at this SLE. They said it would be a week. They lied.

Scrutinised when I speak up, and increasingly having limited rights in any so-called "recovery" environment. At this point, if you're not helping us, you're hurting us. If you claim my existence is "political", then please remove yourself from my life (when I am not absolutely forced to talk to you).

I'm tired. I'm tired of being a burden. I don't even have any girlfriends (I'm transfeminine) to talk to, because I was forced to live in a house full of men-even after I explained I have trauma from men.

I literally called four "helplines" I found online from desperation, several times yesterday, and was told that they were "assisting other callers". I keep trying my best to find a counselor and I keep either getting turned away or at least no called back.

I don't know what to do. I'm tired of being "strong". I wish I had a childhood that I could remember, but even beyond that, I would settle for giving myself that now that I'm older..except I know that I can't even do that right now. I feel like I've let myself down. I feel like (and this breaks my heart to say), it was silly to dream.

It matters. Can you hear me? I am holding your hands and telling you it matters because you matter

Next time transphobes call trans healthcare “experimental” you can show them this

ALT

if you find it hard to make close friends, i still recommend you do socialise a little. hangout with your classmates if they invite you, go to places, a little bit of human interaction everyday will keep you sane and make sure you are out of your head

ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

Aro Ace and aroace memes

Hawaii shirts are the Christmas sweaters of summer.

Living his best life

(via)

I highly disagree, being a Cancerian myself.

The Truth About Venus and Why it Can't be exalted in Cancer

My retake on the Cancer vs Pisces : Who should Venus really be exalted in? post.

I've read almost all the responses under this post talking about how Venus makes more sense exalted in Pisces, and although I still stand by some of my previous claims, I do have to say I may of had a change of heart.

Yall brought up some really good points, it made a lot sense and fit the narrative I didn't see before, which is what Venus actually represents in a person's chart.

A lot of you guys worded it a lot better than I could, but to basically give a summary of what everyone said that I agree with is that while Venus does represent relationships of any kind, money, art, indulgence, ect, Venus is about what we want, not what we need. It's about things that make us happy in the moment and we crave more and more of it because we can never get enough of it and it's not truly fulfilling, it's just things that give us cheap thrills.

In this light, I can see how Venus is a lower octave of Neptune because both are related to addiction, art, indulgence and idolization. Pisces is ruled by Neptune the planet of addictions, what our generation dreams and fantasizes about, what kind of art and symbolism our generation enjoys, and what we're delusional about. It's about what makes our generation happy, but not fulfilled. Venus relates to a singular person at a time in this regard, where as Neptune has to do more with a generation, but both are essentially about the same things.

Venus is about what makes us artificially happy in the sense that Venus is like candy and sweets; Yeah it taste good and we want more, but it's not bringing us much nutritional value or anything, and in big amounts it's harmful to us. Where as the Moon is like a full course dinner, yeah we like it, maybe not to the degree of the candy, but it fills us up, satiates our hunger, and keeps us more fulfilled than the candy.

Cancer, as a sign, strives for that longevity of nourishment and emotional happiness, it will go through unpleasant times, trials and errors until they found the one. They do not love freely and only invest their time and emotions into something they know will pay off for them in the long run. If you just so happened to be the one, they will love you what seems like endlessly and show a devotion like no other, however it is likely if you did not match up to their ideals or check off the boxes for them, they would not love you the way they do, which like someone said in the comments, it's conditioned love, it's love at a cost.

Venus loves freely without attachment to anything, taking and loving freely as it pleases and doesn't want to worry about the longterm consequences, it's all about satiating that urge in the moment. Something Cancer is not about, they are worriers of the future and things will impact them later.

I never really looked at Venus in this light before but it does make sense, and I'm surprised I didn't see it sooner. Either way, these are the main reasons to me now why it isn't exalted in Cancer, and why Venus is not all it seems.

However these are just my thoughts, what do yall think Venus should be exalted in? Is there anything else you think Venus is about? What does Venus and the Moon mean to you? Let me know your thoughts💕

Here's the post in question ⤵️

Tumblr

Pisces vs Cancer : Who should Venus really be exalted in?

Okay, as we all know, the signs domicile in Venus are detriment in Mars. Venus rules over Taurus and Libra, but those signs are in detriment

Heyy! This is gonna be the first post on here with my art in it!💖💕

His name is Nitro Nexus💕

This will probably be a character featured in a lot of my art. He is my oc/persona💕

You can find more of my art here ⤵️

🌸 My Instagram 🌸

before we get carried away with this new unironic love for tumblr maybe we should question why staff never seems to enforce their 'community guidelines' when it comes to terfs/transphobes