Latest Posts by jdbeckmanwriting - Page 4

Edwin being jealous of Crystal but not admitting/recognizing his feelings for Charles 🙃

Day #916 of David Tennant as a Fennec Fox 🦊 @neil-gaiman

Closer by Joy Division Factory 1980 Post-Punk / Goth Rock / New Wave / Alternative Rock / Coldwave

Have Mercy - I'm Gonna Be Ok

I hope Wilbur is having a good day and that he gets to spend time with all the animals

I think people need to remember that human beings can't fucking queerbait, and you don't know if Wilbur is "exploiting" aromantic people by like, saying and doing aromantic things?

Also why do you guys think he can't be aromantic so hard if he's very loud about it.

Idk I want him to be with men, fuck men etc but if I had to be as un-delulu as possible that man is AroHet, he fucks women and is NOT romantic.

But why is it that as soon as people are mad at him they want to strip his aromanticism away?

You were all frothing at the mouth about how aromantic coded he was, flapping your hands when he mentioned aromanticism, hell even headcanoning him as aromantic but the moment you dislike him, he's queerbaiting and exploitative?

Fuck off. Even if you 100% believe he abused Shelby, bad people can be queer.

One year since the finale

"You have no more blame in this than I" by greggiana on tiktok / 1,2,3,4,7,9 art by iidalus ctommy / 5,6 art by birdiebrunch / 8 art by mal-a-l-aise

Not what I expected coming from John Green

Warning: When I Am an Old Women I Shall Wear Purple - Jenny Johnson

Life is busy, and I haven't posted in a few days, so indulge me a moment for thoughts on a poem. Below is a link to a reading of "Warning: When I Am an Old Women I Shall Wear Purple." The 'meaning' behind this work is a rather simple one: do not wait to do the things that bring you joy until you are old because you are afraid of how people will perceive them. The amount of time we are granted on this earth is not guaranteed and will never be long enough. Live while you can. Love while you can. And do not be afraid to wear purple.

A large portion of my readers are Lovejoy and Wilbur Soot fans, and I adore them. I adore all of my readers, of course, but this is a message solely for them. Punk Rock, Counter Culture, Goth, Emo, you name it - they were all popularized by people smart enough to think deeply and critically about our place in the universe and who were brave enough to own it. The only crime a majority of you have committed is asking difficult questions, standing firmly by your beliefs, and feeling empathy in a situation where it is difficult to do so.

No one can tell you which art to like or music to listen to. People have been doing morally reprehensible things since time began, and quality is in no way based on the integrity of their morals. The idea that it's only ok to like a 'bad persons' work if their dead is so ludicrous that I will not dignity that sentiment here.

Do what makes you happy and gives you the strength to live and move forward. This life is hard, but it is worth it. An please, consider wearing purple more often. You might find that it suits you.

May 10 - A Cathedral in France

The Avignon Cathedral is a looming stone building that stood beside The Palaise de Paipes, translated in english to The Palace of Popes. Atop the cathedrals bell tower is a looming statue of the Virgin Mary. Staring down at the city, it is near impossible to hide yourself from her judgemental gaze...

I have a complicated relationship with religion. I believe in a higher power, I think, but more out of a need for comfort than any real kind of conviction. The challenge, though, wasn't in a disbelief of christianities' most basic teaching, but in the way those teaching were presented by many of its followers. I could meander here for ages, but since Jesus is not the focus of this entry, let me attempt to instead be concise. A central tenant in Christianity is the idea that Jesus died on the cross so that God would forgive our sins. The belief that anyone is capable of redemption and forgiveness is at the center of the faith. While my religion. is used by many to do the opposite of this, I've always been able to consider my christian background with pride because of this.

The cathedral we're standing now in was built in the 12th century. How many people do you suppose walked across these stone floors or knelt before the Lord in this same sanctuary and prayed for their salvation? What sort of things do you suppose they prayed for? Earlier today, I and a dozen other 20 somethings were sat by a french pub in a gorgeous public square getting absolutely plastered on wine and beer...

Those 12th century siners probably would have had a number of thoughts about that behavior. But, I digress.

I've been thinking about this moment and the idea of forgiveness a lot recently. I follow the band Lovejoy and their lead singer Will Gold, know better by his internet screen name Wilbur Soot. For those not chronically online and unaware of the controversy that's been tied to that name recently, Will Gold was accused of Domestic Abuse by his Ex Girlfriend Shelby Sulick, better know as Shelby 'Shubble' Grace. For the purposes of this entry, we will not be diving into the details of those accusations. Google it if you're curious or venture forth to Twitter if you're feeling very brave and patient.

No, the question I keep coming to and that brought me back to this century old place of worship was the question of change and growth. There's a quote for a show called Bockjack Horseman that surmizes my thoughts fairly well, "There's no such thing as 'bad guys' or 'good guys' We're all just... guys, who do good stuff sometimes and bad stuff sometimes. And all we can do is try to do less bad stuff and more good stuff, but you're never going to be good because you're not bad." I've noticed a trend in social media discourse in the last decade of people picking up 'buzzword' and using them without taking the time to research what those terms fully mean. It popped up around the same point as clickbaiting. I hate both trends equally.

Popular examples such as narcicist, gaslighting, and triggered are some of my favorite overused and misunderstood psychology terms at the moment. The example that bothers me most is the use of Narcicist and Narcicistic abuse. Narcicistic Personality Disorder is a diagnosable mental disorder that can be diagnosed and addressed with a professional Psychologist and medications. Not all people with NPD are abusers, and the use of NPD in Pop Psychology further pushes this idea that all people with NPD are dangerous individuals. This mindset also seems to push the idea that those who perpetuate abuse are incapable of change. Narcicistic Abuse is NOT a clinical diagnosis identified by the Diagnostic Statistic Manual (DSM) or the American Psychology Association (APA).

Psychology does not agree with the idea that abusers cannot improve and that 'toxic' behavior cannot be corrected. The Center for Prevention of Abuse gives a list of examples on their website explaining signs that a perpetrator is willing to improve as well as steps that you as a friend can take to help a friend with abusive tendencies. Heidi Preibe, a popular relationship youtuber open with her process of self growth, goes into detail on the steps she took herself to work toward paracticing better mindfulness and self awareness.

The central premis seems to be this: work to be aware of the behaviours you desplay that hurt others, observe the situations that trigger you to act in a harmful way, and set boundaries for yourself that push you to walk away and seek help from friends and a professional when you find yourself in those situations. If these are topics you're interested in, I would highly consider starting with Heidi's video linked below and going from there. Everyone displays toxic or narcicistic traits in their lifetime. Left unchecked, they can easily enter the realm of emotionally abusive. If you see this post and your response is 'I'm not toxic or abusive EVER. Sunshine pours out of my ass at all times.' Then you're probably the toxic pick this is directed at.

Singing in a space as old and as active as this is an experience unlike anything you will ever experience. As the sound of your voice echoes off the stone walls it will quite literally surround anyone present in that space. In choral music there is a phenomenon caused when a choir is in in perfect harmony: Overtones. These are very high echoing tones that ring in the space around you. When I imagine the sounds of angels speaking, I like to imagine they sound a bit like that. Those notes will only appear if ever singer is in tune and is completely in sink with one another. As always, communication and understanding among the vocalists is key. If your a 12th century farming begging the lordes forgiveness in a place as holy as this, I could see how a moment like that might leave an impact.

But now, it's time to turn the page to another snapshot of another moment in time. Perhaps we'll come back to this idea though. But that is for another time.

------

Adendum - This post is in no way meant to suggest or imply abusive behaviour by eaither party mentioned above. All we have at this moment are statements and I will not be giving a full definitive answer om what I believe happened here until more information has come forward from both parties. This is merely a discussion on forgiveness and personal growth with links to helpful sources. It is also not meant to suggest that you should stay with an abusive partner in the hope they will change. That is a personal devision based on situation and should be discussed with friends and, if possible, a psychologist. Most sources agree that change in an abusive individual is only possible if/when the partner has left and forced them to leave.

If folks are absolutely desperate for my personal breakdown and speculations on the situation the I will address that at that time. If you go into my notes and leave disrespectul comments I will delete your comment and block you from this page.

Sources -

https://youtu.be/moynQi7qT08?si=baTzLjWTkOl4n8hI

https://www.centerforpreventionofabuse.org/i-need-help-for-someone-else/helping-abusers/

https://lundybancroft.com/

https://youtu.be/Nrx_dXx3WUQ?si=-5aSzDedf_QejWBV

The dark brown sunspots sprinkled across my shoulders show that, once upon a time, I stood under in the suns relentless rays without adaquate sun protection. The excuse I gave my mother was, "I'll burn now and let it turn into a dark tan. Then I won't need sunscreen all summer." This was not correct, and time has instead shown that mothers are usually right. But we were an army of indestructible teenage angst working for the good of board children on a Tuesday afternoon enjoying their trouble-free summers before being sucked into the capitalist conveyer belt as we were now.

Oh well, at least I had a great tan. A kindly dermatologist can burn the cancer off another day.

#eulogytalks

Scars on your body show that you have lived; scars on your heart show that you have loved.

Nina Dul

In Rapid Eye Moves, I Fall Right Back to You

Do you remember cycling

across the channel in September? Check

your front coat pocket. Tucked away,

a polaroid projected point

in time filled with love and joy and bright endless

afternoons. See those ruby seeds drip.

drip. dripping... from the corners

of chapped lips? It's strange, the way

they contrast your pale blue. We went to

find marigolds. Except,

I left with Asphodels -

To End, We Must First Begin...

Tell me, have you heard the story of of words creation? Hmm, it's not all that surprising you haven't. The story of Bassan's creation is so rarely taught in our schools... I've even heard fellow scholars openly mock the story in front of their pupils. How unprofessional. Anyway, while the validity of the story is frequently brought into question by the more educated of us, I still believe that it is necessary we know our story in full.

Today, we leave behind the crampt, dust ridden shelves of the library, and that stuffy old lab to pay a visit to our local temple. I've arranged a meeting here in the courtyard with one of their priestesses. If you are to hear our story, it should be from those who know it best.

Centuries ago, before ships and trees and the founding of all things, the Almunashi, creator of all that is and will be, resided above in the cosmos. Here in the Avarice empire, they are better known as Lumina or the great Illuminate. There, they sat surrounded by nothingness. They felt nothing. They knew nothing. They were nothing. 

Then, They found the light.

First, there was one, floating beside them in that great, great expansive void. But before long, one became two. Quickly, these little flickers of something split again and again, ever growing in intensity. They held that flickering spark in their hands and watched in mesmerized delight.

Delight? What is delight? What is wonder? All at once, Lumina's entire existence expanded. It grew, and it grew until their entire being coalesced in one brilliant moment of newfound awareness and exploded across that great expansive wasteless nothing. 

The empty was gone; replaced with planets and stars and, best of all: life. Living breathing things of every shape and size roamed the newborn cosmos. There was life in the seas, life in the sky, and life on the lands. The greatest of their works were the humans, industrious little creatures capable of complex thought and creation, yet fragile and so very temporary. What was truly mesmerizing about this new life was its ability to grow, live, die, and live again. It was the perfect cycle, and in that cycle lived magic…but that is a story for another time. 

The Great Illuminate had found life, and they intended to fill the universe with it. 

But before long, the life they created was overwhelmed. These creatures battled, fought, and strove to tear themselves apart. This simply could not do. At once, they decided that these new things they had created needed order. So they created beings in their own image to rule over their creations: the Ajashraman. We know these ancient ageless beings born of the earth itself, Jhamran. These beings were capable of altering all of everything, just as Lumina had. 

But even these new ruling creatures were quickly overwhelmed by both their unlimited potential and the endless expanse of forever that would come with their near immorality. They fought, battled, and nearly burned their new world to the ground. Alumnashi was greatly disturbed. These creatures should be perfect, they thought. How could they be so cruel? That is when they decided these beings needed more structure, still. 

They pondered for seven days and seven nights, wondering how they might structure this new world. It was then that it struck them: there are simply too many forces acting on this world, so many that the structure I hoped to create dissolved into chaos. I must create those who can guide these things who I have created to give them purpose and a common goal to pursue. But they also worried that if they focused solely on order, they would lose the wonderful chaos that led the Aluminashi to that initial moment of euphoric discovery.

So, they created great and powerful guides for their leaders who would live separately above all things, The Aldhalimi. We know them as Halli. Seven would rule the day, bringing order and law. They would guide the world toward its purpose. To counteract the day would also be seven to rule the night. These would seed chaos and inspire innovation. In this way, their world would never become complacent and would retain the spontaneity that led to their ultimate creation. 

Finally, Lumina's creations lived together in the world they had created. Observing this great work of theirs, they faded into the void, now teaming with life. For the first time in their infinite existence, they saw balance and equilibrium. Most important of all, they were no longer alone.

Sadly, Lumina would soon learn that with life and existence, there came another equal domineering force: Atrophy and life's natural urge to combat it. Balance would not last for long. 

Where is the Aluminashi now, you ask? We’ll… no one is really quite sure. But, if you look up into the night sky and find that fortune is on your side you might catch a glimpse. Why, it would appear our Lady the Blessed Dawn Martyr has indeed blessed us with her fortune this fine night. Look, above your heads! See the brightest star in the sky, just to your right? Follow the lines of the stars and you might see a beautiful bowl with two hands pouring out the night sky.

That is the creator still today filling our universe with the luminous gift of life and light. 

Verm-Vykkennpest:

Common Name - Vykker’s Fervor

"Look upon her frail beauty and think on the temporary nature of this bleak and unwieldy existence. For only in death can we truly appreciate the fragility of her life."

A newly emerging epidemic that seems to have arisen from the recent industrial revolution taking place at the center of the Avarice Empire. Vykker's Fervor is a disease affecting the lungs and bloodstream. Because it is so recent, there is an excess of misinformation being spread about the disease. In fact, some might argue that these misconceptions have traveled faster than the illness itself. This is false. Doctors studying the disease have discerned that the illness is caused by the overuse Of fossilized Vysterthorn roots harvested from sections of the Vermylliik forest which the Empire had set ablaze in their attempt to stop the spread of the Vermillion Draft. Despite this, information warning of the unforeseen consequences of this new technology has failed to gain traction due to ‘An Unprecedented Economic Growth Caused by its Introduction to the Industrial Sector’ Those knowledge about the illness would argue it has more to do with the unprecedented growth of men's pockets, but that is besides the point  

Aproximately 65% of the Capitals population are currently infected with the Verm-Vykkenpest virus, better known as Vykker’s Fervor. What is unique about this illness is the slow progression of the disease. Until recently, Verm-Vykkenpest was a largely unknown disease that only affected those living in close proximity to the Vermylliik forest. Of those infected with the disease, approximately 10% of those will, on average, reach a point of active infection. If treated properly, only 3% of those who reach active disease are likely to die of the illness. This is likely the reason the disease had remained largely unknown prior to about 4 decades ago. Statistically, the illness has a very minor chance of fatality. However, that was prior to the disease gaining its terrifying strangle hold on larger centers of civilization. 

Symptoms of Verm-Vykkennpest include sudden weight loss, shortness of breath, pale translucent skin, sunken eyes, insomnia, lethargy, persistent bruising, And bleeding.

As the disease progresses, the symptoms will slowly worsen. The first sign of this progression to late stage active disease is the coughing up of blood as well as the discovery of blood in the urine and stool. This is caused by the infection of the lungs and other organs slowly tearing away at the lining of the lungs until they eventually drown as the lungs are filled with blood and puss. The thinning of the blood also means that bruising and injuries caused by blunt force are much more likely to cause unseen bleeding, which would not usually be fatal. 

The disease has been found to be dramatically worsened by several factors: weakened immune system and an unhealthy lifestyle. Doctors believe this is why the symptoms of  those living in large population centers progress so quickly. This is also why Vykker's Fervor has become so widely known as a ‘rich man's disease.''’ Those looking to their local newsstand reading about the illness will only see reports of rich affluent members of society in silent repose and languishing in quiet apathy. This, of course, is only highlighted by the sudden change in feminine fashion. For example, it was published in a recent issue of Farfengel Femina that women hoping to ‘achieve to feminine Ideal’ should adopt these new self care habits.

- Line the veins with blue pencils to give the illusion of pale paper thin skin.

- Lace one’s corset to appear more thin and gaunt.

- Brushing one's face and neck with arsenic powder.

- Applying Essence of belladonna to achieve the sunken eye look.

- Redden one's lips and cheeks to mimic the feverish glow of sickness.

We have also seen a shift To lighter, pastel colors in women's dress to further emphasize the small, sickly, waifish look now popularized in fashionable society. Meanwhile, these same fashionable magazines ignore the hundreds of sick, disenfranchised, working class communities over Run with the disease. Individuals who are not only more susceptible To the illness, but who's lack of disposable income means that they will not have the same access to care as their more affluent peers. While the rich upper class flee to the countryside for fresh air and undisturbed restfulness, those of the lower classes will be condemned to the state sponsored sanitorium, locked away from their families. There, they will be left to waste away in large poorly kept dormitories and subjected to untested, experimental, often barbaric treatments with no basis in modern medicine. 

Welcome, Weary Travelers

Sit down, put up your feet, and treat yourself to a pint.

Our resident bard will be taking the stage in just a moment...

Anyway - Welcome to Satire's Eulogy! Here, you can find musings about my current writing projects, rambling explanations of worldbuilding concepts for those projects, and story requests!

Currently, the only character I am taking requests for is Non-CC Wilbur Soot, as the general fanfinction interpretation of his character was the original inspiration for the male protagonist of my in progress book series and I need an excuse to do character studies. I may also add requests for 'OC' characters, i.e., characters from my series concept, when/if I introduce them here. This is, of course, subject to change.

Rules:

- No NSFW requests. If you won't find it in a high school library you won't find it here.

- Be respectful. There is no room for hate here.

- This is a place for escapism. Leave current affairs/controversies at the door.

***This isn't a democracy. This is a dictatorship. Break these rules - your comment will be deleted & you will be banned.

Useful tags:

Worldbuilding #EulogyLore

Story Requests #EulogyRequests

Other Asks #EulogyResponse

Writing Discussions #EulogySpeaks

Other Junk #EulogyRandom

Sit Back, Relax, and Enjoy the Show!