The Idealized Version Of My Tomorrow Self Will Fix This

a 1000 miles away

i miss breathing the same

air as you, but i know you

are farther in mind than 

distance. 

~K.T.

leaving

what if when i leave

i hate it

or they hate me

and im homesick every day

and all i want is to be back

but

what if

i love it there

and i dont want to come home

and its the time of my life

it is so much harder to go

when i am searching for

every

reason

to

stay

mothers & daughters

i wish my mother liked me more

i know she loves me

she has to

i just wish she likes me sometimes

i wish i was all the things she wanted in a daughter

instead of all the things she didn't

i wish she liked me more

than she likes her religion

i wish i liked my mother more

i try, i really do

i just can't help but roll my eyes, sometimes

or sigh when she asks a question

i wish i could see past her flaws

or even love her in spite of them

i wish i could break the cycle

and yet around and around it goes

One day I will stop falling in love with you. Until I do, I'll be thinking of you.

k.b. // laufey, philharmonia orchestra - let you break my heart again

Hey. Hey you. The person aimlessly scrolling, stuck in an immobilized standoff with your brain

It's not your fault. You won't be stuck forever. I know you're trying. I know you hate it. It's ok.

And tell the Mean Voice in your head that it's not helping. It knows as well as you do that you would get up and Just Start the task if you could. You're not doing this on purpose.

Take a deep breath. Relax your jaw. I see you trying so hard to break out of it, but you can't force it. You'll get Unstuck eventually. All you can do in the interim is be kind to yourself.

I hope with time you can breathe easier within yourself and all that hurt your heart that did not deserve to touch it will fade as your soul heals while all those tears you cried become flowers that bloom to sweeten your path and that a time to smile will come as you let yourself turn toward the abundant warmth of light and open to the beautiful kiss of life -J.Wool, Kiss of Life

At times

I am ashamed

Of how messy I am

Of how broken I am

Of how much I need

And want

And scream

Into voids of people

That don’t seem to care

And despite increasing

Self-awareness

I appear unable to stop

This pattern

Of continuous unraveling

Of traveling a hundred

Different roads

Desperately

And aimlessly

All to wind up at

The same dead end

At this point, I can no longer deny that the only common thread Is me

my thoughts are just as

fragmented as my thoughts

i fear the future and

i don’t want to be known for

what i had to spend,

but there’s no equity in

the things that i’ve bought

there isn’t a piece of me

that my mind doesn’t taunt

my heart is hanging on life

support and all i can

offer are apologies

i just hope one day

my body can forgive me

kira malibu

trying to think of something to say

for international lesbian day of visibility

i love women

happy lesbian day :) <3

Recognition

one day i will be

able to see myself in

the mirror again.