If You’re Being Questioned About A Murder By One Of Those Hobbyist Detectives. It Is An Absolute Rule

If you’re being questioned about a murder by one of those hobbyist detectives. it is an absolute rule that you have to be washing the dishes or pruning some plants while talking, so that when they finally get around to asking a pointed question about where you were at the time of the murder you can freeze for a second with a knife in your hand. It’s enrichment for them you gotta understand. They thrive off of red herrings, it’s their favorite treat, so even if you have a rock solid alibi and weren’t involved with the murder at all you have to give them some reason to be suspicious of you. It’s what friends are for.

More Posts from Inkboundprince and Others

3 weeks ago

nothing that a haircut and a wardrobe update and a detox and a sex change and a fake ID and getting medicated and selling all my stuff and faking my death and moving country can't fix

1 month ago
Reblogs Were Turned Off But I Wanted To Be Able To Find This Again

Reblogs were turned off but I wanted to be able to find this again

2 months ago

first time writing fanfiction of a character : uughh i hope this is all canon accurate... it cant be canon innacurate at all or the enitire fandom will throw rocks at me...

10057th time writing the character: heres them working at a mcdonalds


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3 months ago

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.


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3 months ago

My average writing experience:

"Alright I think I'm almost done actually-"

*Google doc grows second health bar and a choir starts singing in latin*


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1 month ago

Me reading another person's writing: Oh they missed a period there, no worries mistakes happen :) Three adjectives in a sentence? Adverbs for days? No worries I love descriptions and this story is fire.

Me seeing the same thing in my work: Wow am I illiterate? Am I actually ok? Who the actual fuck told me I can write so I can go and curse their entire family for the time it took for me to carefully craft this GARBAGE.


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2 months ago

"You're not upset that our alternate universe selves aren't together?"

"I don't know. Being together in every universe would make it seem... inevitable. I like that I chose you. I like that this version of you chose this version of me. Does that make sense?"

1 month ago

What they don’t tell you about speaking multiple languages is that your brain does not in fact have a box labeled Spanish and another one labeled German. Instead it has a box labeled “Not English” and sometimes when you’re talking or writing in one of the languages you speak it will just start pulling random words from that box.


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2 months ago

I love how Odysseus and Telemachus meet the goddess of wisdom and battle strategy, a literal force in their world, an immortal, all powerful, being, and they go, oh look she's friend shaped!

It's genetic. It has to be.


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18 | He/him | Fanfic author | chronically sleep deprived

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