Im-made-of-crushed-little-stars - I'm Made Of Crushed Little Stars

It’s cute how people think I’ll get better

I was telling you about how school is so draining that I dread getting up in the morning but you yelling at me to "clean my room"and"try harder"

What if the next time you see me I'm covered I'm my own blood with pills all around me would you tell me to "clean my room:

I can't even speak without an argument starting what's the point of respecting you when you don't respect me I can't even breathe in this goddammit house without its being rude

I can’t explain what goes on in my head anymore

I wish I could make them happy

I wish I could make their pain stop

I wish I could make all their pain go away

its okay. Its okay i know you hate me. Im so sorry. I only make things worse and im so sorry, i really did try my best to make everything so nice and perfect for you, but i know im cursed to only make things worse and for you to hate me and to never be loved. Theres nothing that could fix me and i deserve the loneliness i feel. Im so sorry i got so attached. Im so fucking stupid for thinking things can be okay when im involve with it. Im such a dumbass. I deserve to be killed. It would be the greatest mercy anyone could grant me. If i were to kill myself and succeed it would be the one thing in my life i ever did right. You deserve better. Im not good enough for you and im so sorry i made you like me for the idiot that i am. I want nothing more than to bash my brains in with a hammer and wish that the sight could make you smile one last time, because at least then i would still make you happy instead of being angry and disappointed with me.

i can see it in the way you text and write to me. You havent told me things were okay. I didnt mean to make things worse.

Please. Just kill me

Chat I’m not going to lie. I’m afraid to be vulnerable just to be abandoned again. 

"What's wrong?" Everything. Everything is wrong.

There is no fvckin human who cares about me

I feel like I'm the problem rn that I need be better