I Wanna Make Friends

Thanks everyone for the prompts! I decided to try and knock these all out in one go:

@thegirlwhotrashcans: remember, you asked for it. au, nobody dies, wwx and yanli bodyswap. they’re married to lwj and jzx. 100% crack. bonus points if jin zixuan completely loses his shit and lwj looks very calm but loses his sh*t after everything is back to normal

@alightbuthappypen: Competency kink! One or both of them (when I say ‘them’ I mean wangxian obvs, I know what I’m about) getting hot and bothered about the other being amazing. On a nighthunt maybe? Or anywhere else that strikes your fancy!

@hearteyeswangji: WRITE MORE P*RN

I think I can manage that. With a few tweaks, accidental seriousness, and broad, ridiculous fix-its tacked on. I have no idea how long this might be. Let’s try it in installments? I’ll reblog and add on as I go. Maybe it’ll be fun. We’ll find out.

Disclaimer that this is just gonna go for it with no revising and no beta readers, so pls do not hold me to any conceivable standard of coherency thx

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WILL INCLUDE: wangxian, xuanli, let jyl and lwj be friends agenda, canon divergence, fix-it, everybody lives, arranged marriage, bodyswap, light angst, getting together, Attempts at Comedy, eventual (light?) wangxian smut

The Sunshot Campaign has just been won. Everyone goes over to Jin Guangshan’s house after the Nightless City banquet, to Negotiate Stuff, and some hasty political marriages happen resulting in Xuanli Wedded Bliss and Wangxian Un-confessed Wedded Tension. Then, suddenly…a curse befalls our brave heroes.

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Wei Wuxian wakes suddenly, feeling odd. He’s sleeping on his stomach for one thing, which is not his usual, but he feels warm and comfortable enough that he doesn’t think it strange. But then there is the scent of peonies and gardenias, which is both familiar and alien, somehow. It makes him open his eyes. 

Which is when he sees the hand before him on the bolster. It is slender and elegant. Small. Pale. Familiar? Wearing a jade bangle. He pushes himself up a bit, startled, only to see the hand move when he does. 

The hand. Is his hand. He stares at it. The shock of it, coupled with the early hour, leave his mind working very slowly.

Keep reading

aftg au but Tilda gave Andrew to his father who is the head of another mob family part four (parts 1 - 2 - 3)

It wasn't difficult to convince Neil to sign in with the foxes, Andrew just had to say exy five times and Neil said you got me there. Andrew called his father and told him about Nathaniel

you see, Andrew's father wanted to take down the Moryimas and he wasn't nearly strong enough, but if Andrew played his cards right he could use Neil to make a deal with the Harfords because when Mary and Nathaniel went to Andrew's father, he wasn't powerful enough to even think about it. But now??? if they talk, they could eat the Moryimas in a fancy plate. just the second branch actually, but still fancy plate and golden spoon. Diamond knife maybe.

however, it was dangerous. Andrew's father didn't send his son as a spy inside the Nest because Andrew would end up dead or kidnapped and it would be for nothing. Having Kevin and Neil with him will not get Andrew killed as easily but it would bring attention and danger to Andrew anyway

not that Andrew's father is weak, actually he is so powerful that i cant even say his name. Is not me without creativity for a name, noo, is the mob families and the FBI threatening me

When Neil arrived, Andrew, Aaron, Nicky and Kevin were waiting for him at the airport. Kevin didn't trust Andrew with the new kid because maybe just maybe when Andrew said he convinced Neil to join the team, he also said "i hate him, he's stupid. Gonna end up dead"

he does hate Neil (Neil didn't like the name Nathaniel so Andrew was using Neil and Abram to call him), because the junkie insisted on asking Andrew to admit that he likes exy. how dare him

Andrew was surprised when Neil said hi to him and not to Aaron, both of them were wearing black and had similar hair cut but Neil just stare at them and found Andrew.

andrew: whats this warm felling inside my heart

aaron: new kid has eyes, good for them

they talked in the car and Neil crushed Nicky's dream saying that he doesn't swing.

andrew: why im sad??

Andrew did not told Nicky that the rabbit was all around the world and probably knew germany so Nicky gossiped about Neil being so so handsome until Andrew glared at him

Later, when they were at Wymack's he promised that he was safe, that Wymack wasn't a bad men.

His fake brown eyes were bright like the sun when he saw the court (Andrew wanted to punch him then carefully cup his face and take off that fake brown so he could see the strong blue after so many years)

the days passed with Kevin training with them and Andrew and Neil telling each other truths, Andrew made a deal with Neil, if Neil stayed, Andrew would protect him, Neil is keeping Kevin's interest anyway. Nicky loved Neil and Aaron ignored Neil

When the upperclassmen arrived and the coach said the Ravens changed districts Andrew guessed that Kevin already knew because he wasn't panicking, so Andrew made Kevin understand that it wasn't okay hide important things from people who want to protect you, Kevin!

what Andrew didn't understood was why Neil wasn't running? like he is owned by the Ravens, Andrew's father said so, why Riko coming closer wouldn't be a reason for Neil to go in rabbit mode?

did he trusted Andrew's protection that much? Oh, no, the warm felling again Andrew will ignore it. Fellings aren't real if you ignore them enough.

but no, Neil didn't knew that he is owned by the Moryimas, they were in the roof when Andrew told him and Neil stopped breathing and looked ready to run. Andrew hold him by his neck and said "We have a deal, rabbit, do your part and I will protect you", then they smoked in silence for a long time

Dan and Matt were quick in adopting Neil and saying that they were sorry about the monsters

Neil had to bite his tongue until he felt the blood so he wouldn't defend Andrew.

Neil learned to like Matt and Dan eventually, they were nice and when Neil said stop calling them monster or die by my hands! they stopped.

Andrew told Neil about Renee, not her secrets, just enough to not startle the rabbit

even so, the rabbit was startled. she had something dark, but she was trying to be better, she was sweet and nice. Neil could see she and Andrew dating like Matt said

(when Neil asked about it, Andrew's ears went pink and he glared at Neil for solid five minutes then said "ask Renee", when Neil did, Renee told him Andrew is gay)

Allison and Seth. Neil hated them. They just wouldn't stop calling Andrew a monster, it was so annoying that Andrew had to hold Neil to stop him from punching Seth and gutting Allison

after Neil screamed at Seth "who the fuck do you think you are to judge people? say shit about Andrew's lot but they are your team, respect them or you are too perfect for that? You, drugged out of you mind? What's wrong with you? Are you jealous of Kevin because if you are, just get better than him! You have potential but you throw it away, you throw everything away, you can't even hold your relationship for more than 3 days! Wake up, Gordon, stop hiding behind your hate" things got better

slowly the foxes would learn team work but not at time for their first game, they lost but it wasn't so ugly, it was better than usual, better enough that they had an interview

Absolute unit x tiny unit

(via)

Reblogging cuz I've read a good chunk of these and know them to be Very Good and now must go through the rest cuz OP obviously has good taste, bless you

so.... do u have any fic recs for the untamed?

this has been languishing, unanswered, because I literally cannot stop reading fic long enough to answer it. I am a woman possessed. if I’m not reading fic then I am actively watching the show, which I started again yesterday for the third time. scream into my eyes and scream into my mouth. etc. 

wei wuxian/lan wangji:

seldom all they seem (canon au)*

a lot of edges called perhaps 

all the depths of me, real 

画龙点睛; the crucial point 

linger in the sun

tie a knife with a ribbon (canon au)

the necromancer’s fairytale (au)

the roots grow riotous (au) (wip. I know.)

other pairings (bg wei wuxian/lan wangji: understood):

*sequel: half cloak & half dagger (lan xichen/jin guangyao)

with both hands (lan xichen/jin guangyao)

to keep you in that house on the hill (nie mingjue/jin guangyao)

you seem, secretly, to love everything (nie mingjue/jin guangyao/lan xichen, modern au)

one rogue spark in my direction (lan wangji/xiao xingchen/song lan) 

a civil combpaign (jin ling/lan sizhui)

+ sequel: besieged

four days in lanling (nie huaisang/jiang cheng)

our footsteps sing a reckless serenade (nie huaisang/jiang cheng, au)

by proxy (lan wangji/jiang cheng) (I said what I said.)

climbing up that coastal shelf (no pairing. I cried. who am I?)

with absolute splendor (also no pairing, beyond the obvious.)

gathered herbs & sweet grasses (ALSO NO PAIRING LOL.)

and a subsection I like to call:

the beauty of your repair (xue yang/xiao xingchen/song lan, modern au)

one big silence (xue yang/xiao xingchen/song lan, modern au)

+ sequel: hanging from a tree

tear out all your tenderness (xue yang/xiao xingchen)

I mean he definitely got the nicest one 😌

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Cliche Finder - It does what the name says.

Write Rhymes - It’ll find rhymes for words as you write.

Verbix - This site conjugates verbs, because English is a weird language.

Graviax - This grammar checker is much more comprehensive than Microsoft Word, again, because English is a weird language.

Sorry for how short this is! I wanted to only include things I genuinely find useful. p>

He Kissed Her Once

He kissed her once. It was by the sea, the smell of brine and watery decay thick in the air. The sun was high, its light made the water glitter prettily, its heat baked the seaweed and fish washed ashore. He thought, almost bitterly, that the beauty and repugnance of the moment was fitting. He wondered which one she would consider more.

She considered nothing at all. She was entirely startled by the manner of his embrace. It hurt in the way soft, sweet, and perfect things hurt; heartbreaking in its gentleness and care. She pulled away quickly, overwhelmed by the power she had so suddenly over her supposedly enigmatic, closed off friend.

He stumbled back, as if struck. His face burned and his hands shook. She stared hard at the ground and said nothing with a face flushed with embarrassment or heat or discomfort, neither of them could tell. Silence clung to them, heavy and chafing, until he walked away and disappeared somewhere among the ships.

She kept her gaze fixed on her hastily polished shoes where they were planted over both sand and grassed soil for a little while longer. Before too long, she walked away herself, without looking back or noticing the sharp, dark eyes tracking her.

For all they laughed, talked, and ran about, they never spoke again after that day by the sea.

What a fat mood, I havent even thought about my wips 😅

I can't decide which andreil wip to work on ;____;

Heeyyy Death. You looking hella fine in that tattered, black robe man. No, no listen - I’m dead serious. Is that new? No? That makes sense, retro is making one helluva comeback. Anyway, how’s it hangin? Everything aight? Or...no, no okay - yeah, humans can be pretty bitchy. Speaking of hanging and bitchy people actually, I think you should eliminate some of those rude ass mofos, especially the unnaturally old ones. The issue is that they think they're so high and mighty, they feel like they can even defy Death. You gotta show them what's up. You are Death, with a motherfucking capital D. Ain't no ho, no matter how bitchy they are, can fuck with you. You gotta smack the shit out of these people and pry their overly long lives outta their wrinkly ass hands. And you're accomplishin everything at once. There are more resources, we can actually eat right without selling our kidneys, balance is restored. And most importantly, you get your revenge. You get to put your enemies in their graves, scare the shit outta people, and get your due respect, man. It's a perfect plan. You got this, you hear me. All you gotta do is grab your wicked scythe and smack one of those assholes in the face with it. It's a done deal. I got all the faith in you man, fuck's sake - you're Death. Aight? Good, hit me up when the first one's six feet under.

Humanity has found a way to live forever: Death is actually super insecure and every time he shows up to take a life they bully him for his fashion sense and tell him that nobody likes him. Now Death has lost his confidence and has completely stopped doing his job. The world is getting overpopulated and it’s a serious problem. You have been chosen to give Death a pep talk and help him in regaining his confidence so the world can be in balance once more.