Writing Is Kicking My Ass Rn Because What Do You Mean I Have To Actually Live Up To My Promise. Like

there's this one tim drake dimension travel fic where he gets yeeted to a dimension with a better batfam by mr. mxypltzk (how tf do you spell that) and bart and kon come with him. i remember specifically there's this one scene where tim is practicing in the batcave and the alternate batfam are just... appalled by the amount of force he's using. because they Don't Do That in their dimension.

AND I CAN'T FUCKING FIND IT. I CAN'T FIND THE FIC. IT BRINGS ME GREAT PAIN.

uh huh. I'm delusional. and we definitely did NOT read the same comics. because that was indeed abuse. that was verbal abuse.

damian took every oppurtunity he had to insult and demean tim. he did this specifically to tim, with the intention of causing him harm. that is abuse.

(please note that I am talking about Early Damian. like, when he first arrived at the manor. he character developed After This. this is even pre-damian-becoming-Robin.)

Damian Abused Tim and None of Yall are Talking About It

First of all, let’s define an abusive relationship. Okay? “Abuse” is not characterized by- say it with me now- age, gender, strength/size or otherwise more “common” depictions of an abusive relationship. “Abuse” is characterized by a- say it with me now- POWER IMBALANCE. Got it? Good.

Now, let’s examine Damian and Tim’s relationship to see if there’s a power imbalance with one simple question. Do they both have the power to redefine this relationship? In the case of Tim and Damian, the answer is no. An immediate follow-up to this question should be: who has the power to redefine the relationship? The answer is the more powerful side of the power imbalance, or, more often than not, the abuser. In the case of Tim and Damian, Damian is the one with the power to redefine the relationship. 

Why? Because a), both Tim and Damian’s adults (Bruce, Alfred, maybe Dick) are unwilling to balance the relationship (giving them both consequences for cruelty, no favoritism, etc.), b), Damian does not accept anything Tim says- if Tim is polite, he’s being patronizing/condescending and it’s his fault, if Tim’s rude he’s being cruel/unfair and it’s his fault, if Tim’s indifferent he’s being cold/unfair and it’s his fault- as a genuine effort on Tim’s part, meaning only Damian has the power to change their dynamic.

Just because Damian is younger than Tim does not mean that Damian is incapable of being abusive towards Tim. It reminds me of a dynamic in which the “softer” one, e.g. a wife or in this case, a younger sibling, is abusing the “tougher” one, e.g. a husband or an older sibling, and the victim of the abusive is not believed because the “softer” one obviously can’t be an abuser. By excusing Damian’s actions you are practicing abuse apologism. This is Very Fucked Up and it is Not Okay. Just because DC seems to think it is okay and the majority of the fandom brushes past it, it does NOT MEAN that it is not abuse apologism.

I am not blaming Damian for any of this. No one has ever bothered to explain to him that his actions are wrong or explain why they are wrong. However, that does not absolve him of responsibility. Responsibility is not the same thing as blame. In this case, responsibility means an actual, genuine apology on Damian’s part. Responsibility means acknowledging it was wrong of him to abuse Tim, it means an actual change in behavior going forward, and, specifically for Damian, it probably includes therapy. 

Abuse apologism is not okay. I need people to understand that Damian was abusing Tim. There is no excusing or sugarcoating it. Damian. Abused. Tim. I need people to understand that. Yes, Damian can accept responsibility (and the ADULTS- Bruce, Alfred, maybe Dick- need to accept the blame) but that does not change the fact that in the beginning, He Abused Tim. Yes, Damian can (and should) make a change, and that change should be reflected in his characterization, but if one were to write him in the BEGINNING he would still be abusing Tim. I am not demonizing him by writing this. This is not me bashing on the character. This is me defining his canonical behavior. This is me telling you all that Damian was entitled and spoiled and rude and cruel and ABUSIVE.

I need you to understand this.

“too wayne family adventures” like that isnt also a valid piece of media that people put hard work and dedication into

I really don't understand people bitching about Batman stuff being "non-canon compliant" like worstie, there are eighty years of canon to go through.

Half the stuff you're complaining about being "out of character" and "too Wayne Family Adventures" was canon in the Silver Age era.

Shut the fuck up and let people vibe.

i dare you to writr some soft percabeth fluff

debating whether or not to write some soft percabeth fluff

Damian Abused Tim and None of Yall are Talking About It

First of all, let’s define an abusive relationship. Okay? “Abuse” is not characterized by- say it with me now- age, gender, strength/size or otherwise more “common” depictions of an abusive relationship. “Abuse” is characterized by a- say it with me now- POWER IMBALANCE. Got it? Good.

Now, let’s examine Damian and Tim’s relationship to see if there’s a power imbalance with one simple question. Do they both have the power to redefine this relationship? In the case of Tim and Damian, the answer is no. An immediate follow-up to this question should be: who has the power to redefine the relationship? The answer is the more powerful side of the power imbalance, or, more often than not, the abuser. In the case of Tim and Damian, Damian is the one with the power to redefine the relationship. 

Why? Because a), both Tim and Damian’s adults (Bruce, Alfred, maybe Dick) are unwilling to balance the relationship (giving them both consequences for cruelty, no favoritism, etc.), b), Damian does not accept anything Tim says- if Tim is polite, he’s being patronizing/condescending and it’s his fault, if Tim’s rude he’s being cruel/unfair and it’s his fault, if Tim’s indifferent he’s being cold/unfair and it’s his fault- as a genuine effort on Tim’s part, meaning only Damian has the power to change their dynamic.

Just because Damian is younger than Tim does not mean that Damian is incapable of being abusive towards Tim. It reminds me of a dynamic in which the “softer” one, e.g. a wife or in this case, a younger sibling, is abusing the “tougher” one, e.g. a husband or an older sibling, and the victim of the abusive is not believed because the “softer” one obviously can’t be an abuser. By excusing Damian’s actions you are practicing abuse apologism. This is Very Fucked Up and it is Not Okay. Just because DC seems to think it is okay and the majority of the fandom brushes past it, it does NOT MEAN that it is not abuse apologism.

I am not blaming Damian for any of this. No one has ever bothered to explain to him that his actions are wrong or explain why they are wrong. However, that does not absolve him of responsibility. Responsibility is not the same thing as blame. In this case, responsibility means an actual, genuine apology on Damian’s part. Responsibility means acknowledging it was wrong of him to abuse Tim, it means an actual change in behavior going forward, and, specifically for Damian, it probably includes therapy. 

Abuse apologism is not okay. I need people to understand that Damian was abusing Tim. There is no excusing or sugarcoating it. Damian. Abused. Tim. I need people to understand that. Yes, Damian can accept responsibility (and the ADULTS- Bruce, Alfred, maybe Dick- need to accept the blame) but that does not change the fact that in the beginning, He Abused Tim. Yes, Damian can (and should) make a change, and that change should be reflected in his characterization, but if one were to write him in the BEGINNING he would still be abusing Tim. I am not demonizing him by writing this. This is not me bashing on the character. This is me defining his canonical behavior. This is me telling you all that Damian was entitled and spoiled and rude and cruel and ABUSIVE.

I need you to understand this.

there is no way to construe Damian being Robin after he just got out of a murder cult as anything less than a phenomenally shitty idea. i do not say this to criticize Damian as a character. he is a good character. it is because he is a good character that I am going to say this: Damian being Robin was Bad. Very Bad.

Outside of the dynamics within the family at the change, people are still Suffering because of Damian As Robin. Because Damian is not trained to be Robin. Robin is Hope. Robin is comfort. Robin is not a fucking baby assassin who only has the job to “secure his place as the blood son” and prove that the ‘placeholders’ weren’t as good as him.

Because Robin is not just a mantle that changes how people within the Batfam see each other. It is also a job that living people need to survive and Damian, as someone who was not trained for literally Any Aspect of said job that people need to survive, was risking those people.

Completely disregarding Damian’s and others within the Batfam’s own (stunted) development because of Damian Being Robin, it is a really, really, really shitty idea to give a profession that, again, lives depend on to a traumatized ex-assassin child whose adults are for some reason refusing to parent or even fucking guide.

omg didn’t tim make some sort of promise to ra’s to get his help during the BruceQuest??????

hi!!!

AU Idea: fae!tim drake who very specifically treats promises as sacred. why? the ✨angst potential✨.

plus all the other stuff with tim being a fae, but i had the idea abt promises specifically

Hi!!! 👋

Fae!Tim has my entire heart and soul. The promises side of this is a wonderful addition. So, let's get into it ^^

For this AU, let's say Tim can lie. He's fae, but he can lie. The only issue he has (and other fae have) with lying is that it's painful, considered rude, and fae can usually tell when someone is lying to them. The pain and offense of the lie increases with how great or important the lie is.

The fae, however, keep this as a tightly guarded secret (that they can lie and that lying hurts them). Barely any non-fae know about it.

Unfortunately, Tim found out the hard way that not keeping promises, even when he intended to, counts as lying to their biology. He was in a considerable amount of pain when he found that out the hard way. Perhaps there's even a magical binding element to promises where he has to keep them or pay some price.

Tim thus very rarely makes promises. He doesn't do white lies, and he won't say comfort lies/promises of "you'll be alright." There are loopholes he utilizes, and he is very good at misleading or misrepresenting himself.

Nobody else in the batfam is fae. Only Tim. So, the Bats do not know that Tim can lie. Because, again, he rarely if ever does and it usually causes him pain.

The Bats do know that he's very careful with promises. Perhaps there was a moment where someone tried to use promises as a way to guarantee Tim would do something (like take care of himself), and Tim was hella pissed off for this.

Anyways, I think the others would have varying opinions about promises. Some say them off-handedly, some try to only mutter them in serious or important moments, and some try their damndest to uphold any promise they make.

The only batfam member to take it as seriously and sacredly as Tim is Damian. Whether that's because of how he was raised or because of his nature (dragon, angel, siren, or whatever), is up to you ^^

I just like the angst and relationship potential of Tim and Damian, who start off as enemies, learning to trust the other when it comes to promises. This one aspect they see eye to eye on.

obvs

Please reblog if you think that “they/them/theirs” is a valid set of pronouns.

this post must be reblogged by everyone

screaming crying throwing up my favorite author just followed me i feel blessed is this what it's like to be chosen by the gods?

@theresamouseinmyhouse hi :)

I think more people need to be okay with disliking characters purely because of vibes. Like no, it’s not because I’m biased towards my favorite character. It’s not because the character I dislike did some horrible despicable thing. I just think if I met this character IRL their personality would make me want to go jump off a cliff bc they genuinely just bother me so much. And it’s just because they have Bad Vibes.