*pauses Mid-sentence As The Little Hamster That Lives In My Brain Abruptly Gets Off The Hamster Wheel

my favourite genre of tumblr posts? well,

hellsite (affectionate)

struck down by the mental image of an android laying down to "sleep" on a mattress shaped charging pad. oof. im experiencing the Emotions. rest well and recharge you dear little electric angel

Hey, it’s Hershey. We already got our first exciting fan letter! Let’s see what it says

It’s from Forrest. Hi, Forrest! You suggested that we should delete our account on July 17th, 2021. 

Well Forrest, I have a suggestion for you. On July 17th, 2021, I suggest you start running. 

do all of them. make it a series

I know I’ve said this before but vampires

don’t show up on camera

can fly/scale walls

immune to bullets

can break into any safe by turning into fog or some bullshit

could probably hypnotize security guards as needed

therefore I am in dire need of a heist film where a group of vampires band together to steal back their old stuff from museums

I demand that tumblr bring the crabs back. Tumblr should be the one and only social media with crabs that you can summon at the click of a button 24/7, 365 days a year. I think this would save this website.

I am FEELING THINGS about this book

It occurs to me that as much as “humans are the scary ones” fits sometimes, if you look at it another way, humans might seem like the absurdly friendly or curious ones.

I mean, who looked at an elephant, gigantic creature thoroughly capable of killing someone if it has to, and thought “I’m gonna ride on that thing!”?

And put a human near any canine predator and there’s a strong chance of said human yelling “PUPPY!” and initiating playful interaction with it.

And what about the people who look at whales, bigger than basically everything else, and decide “I’m gonna swim with our splashy danger friends!”

Heck, for all we know, humans might run into the scariest, toughest aliens out there and say “Heck with it. I’m gonna hug ‘em.”

“Why?!”

“I dunno. I gotta hug ‘em.”

And it’s like the first friendly interaction the species has had in forever so suddenly humanity has a bunch of big scary friends.

Now that the new season is looming, here are some predictions I have for Hermitcraft season 9!

- Mumbo is going to go completely ballistic. The man couldn't kill anything for a whole season, the minute he gets a wooden sword no animal mob or player will be safe (either that or he'll kill one thing and then have a crisis but my bet is that one thing will be Grian)

- First player death will be Joe Hills and it'll be him falling into a ravine

- Either that or Iskall is going to kill someone without meaning to again

- There's going to be some dispute between two people who want to settle on the same mountain and they're going to turn it into a hilariously drawn-out comedic rivalry because of course they are

- First shop is going to be either Grian or Impulse

- On that note idk how likely this is but a Grian and Impulse business empire would be SO overpowered please I want it

- Hilarious disparity between people who mesh season 8 in with season 9 and have a canonical path of travel between the two vs people who don't even mention it at all (read: Zedaph and Etho being Blissfully Oblivious)

- Cleo is going to punch Joe. That's not even a prediction at this point that's just a universal constant

- Place your bets now on which happens first: Mumbo makes a cult or Scar makes a pyramid scheme! I'm betting one or the other in the first ten episodes, bonus points if it's neither and Etho does both

I'm saving this to reblog a few weeks in and see how many Apollo's bullseyes I can get, feel free to add on!

if i act like an asshole tell me i’ll try and fix the behaviour.

a beginner’s guide to fandom racists

This is by no stretch of the imagination a finished list, nor will it probably ever be. But over my years in Tumblr I’ve started to Notice some Things…

Basic Racist

“so NO poc characters can die????”

purposely misinterprets your argument

“blackwashing exists too. if mj can be black then aang can be white”

“why don’t they just make a NEW black superhero/princess/franchise?”

“stop making fun of xyz writer; they’re probably a much better writer than you’ll ever be”

alternatively “have you written a book? then you can’t have any opinion whatsoever”

alternatively “if you want to see diverse characters then write your own story instead of complaining”

“you should be grateful for the one side poc who died in the first episode”

“imagine if i said the same thing about poc. that’s reverse racism”

Smug/Oppressed Racist

makes several posts expressing their dismay and sadness after being called out for racism

assumes victim position whenever possible

lowkey/highkey an anti-anti

thinks and acts like they are oppressed by the existence of antis

*approaching their mutual of color (or a blogger of color in their community) after writing/reblogging a problematic post* “hey just wondering, why did you block me?”

makes fic/edits/headcanons/art that relies on racist stereotypes and characterization

“i miss the days when you could just be racist write whatever fic/like whatever character/post whatever headcanons without people getting mad :/”

“some people just don’t know how to have FUN!”

“don’t you have anything better to do than run a HATE BLOG about this poor writer?”

part of a network of white mutuals and followers who supportively affirm each other that they’re Not Racist

refuses to acknowledge anything you say unless it’s written in standard white grammar and falsely cheery affect

Schrodinger’s Woke

usually a white lady

has some posts about intersectionality on their blog

doesn’t support any movies/shows/books written by and for poc

never reblogs bloggers of color

alternatively, only reblogs bloggers of color who agree with their opinion (which 90% of the other poc in the fandom disagree with)

goes hard in calling out misogyny, but “can excuse” the racism of the author

alternatively, *about a problematic white female character* “you have to excuse the racism in her narrative. just because there’s racism in it doesn’t mean she’s not a feminist hero. it’s not her fault that the writers wrote it that way”

generally expecting all fans to put the representation of white women before any other representation in terms of importance

“why can’t this strong woc just be single?! she’s awesome without a man”

selectively calls out racism in fandom/content when it makes their preferred character/blogger look better in comparison to the “more racist” character/blogger

repeats what bloggers of color say but in a cheery tone and more watered down; gets heaps of praise from mutuals and followers for being a woke queen

assumes position of authority on all social justice issues, especially concerning gender (and sexuality if they are lgbtq+)

“the writer knows what they’re doing. i give them the benefit of the doubt because we don’t know how the story will turn out in the end”

may or may not have written elaborate posts about racism and race theory

definitely stans at least one extremely problematic white author and defends them and their “genius” to the death

thinks that calling out white cis/het women for their racism/homophobia/transphobia is sexist

this next cup of coffee will fix me