Zain Taking An Astronomy Class Like: ....

Salim, thinking about Jason: I could fix him

Jason, thinking about Salim: I could make him worse

Zain: i made you a friendship bracelet.

Jason: you know, i'm not really a jewellery person.

Zain: well you don't have to wear it if you don't want t-

Jason: no, i'm gonna wear it forever, back off!

Nick: What happened to my fun girlfriend?

Rachel: I was never fun, you take that back.

Nick: Hey we should do this insane dangerous thing that would get us all killed!

Jason: My beautiful baby angel child who can do no wrong, you are usually right but in this case I'm going to have to ask you to sit this one out.

Nick: Aw, okay :(

Eric: Or, we could-

Jason: *shoots him dead*

Jason when he disagrees with Nick: I’m sorry buddy, but no.

Jason when he disagrees with Eric:

Nick: Why are you so mad at me? Is it because I slept with Eric?

Rachel: YOU WHAT?!

Nick: Fuck, it wasn't that.

Jason: Fuck AND marry Salim, and I’ll kill everyone else.

Nick: Damn it, Jason. That’s not how the game works.

Salim, eating a cinnamon roll:

Jason, shaking his head: cannibalism.

Salim: *confused chewing noises*

Semper Fi? more like Simper Fi, amirite? 

Jason: You can’t make everyone like you. You’re not Salim.

Nick: Not everybody likes Salim.

Jason: Who doesn’t?

Nick: What?

Jason: Names, now. Give me their names.

Jason: I just offered Salim the world, so I don’t know where y’all are gonna live, but it can’t be here